The Lit experience: men v women

[aussiegeekygal]

I expected a little more civility here but seems to be a fair amount of trolls here too.

I often wonder what people expect when they join, because the social landscape surrounding sex has evolved a lot over the past few decades.

And as for trolls, what constitutes a troll? I've never figured out what people think a troll is...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I'd like to know what those more experienced here think but I signed up here with the intent/expectation of meeting like minded people who use this site as an outlet or a place to escape. I assumed most people started with the stories and migrated to forum? Are the pics nice? Sure, but honestly it's more about the connection. I figure if we're all here at this particular site, we're already starting with several things in common. I expected a little more civility here but seems to be a fair amount of trolls here too.

With over 2 million members, there’s just as many reasons for coming here. There are like-minded people, but it takes time to get to know folks here. Those of us who have been part of Lit for a long time tend to be more guarded, understandably so. It’s not uncivil, it’s reasonable and informed.

Folks who are here looking for cyber sex tend to assume everyone else is, too. Folks, typically some of those of a specific gender, have a tendency to assume they can say overtly sexual things to women they’ve just met here because “it’s a porn site!” It doesn’t go well for those guys…

A lot of people are looking for distraction or connection. Some really are just here for the stories. There’s not one right way to do Lit (although there are wrong ways, and they can lead to getting banned…follow the rules).

“Troll” is subjective/relative. We aren’t entitled to people agreeing with us or wanting the same thing.

 

[Png1drv]

My point re: trolls was specific to the folks who seem to attack others here. As far as commonality, we're all here, on a site devoted to sex/eroticism. We have that and probably only that in common but we do. I understand there's no right or wrong reason to be here. If I struck a nerve, my apologies. Certainly no judgment intended on my part at all. The beauty of this site is all folks should feel free to explore their desires whoever they feel. I was simply expressing what I've observed in my time here.

 

[may_I_please]

Honestly I’m just here for a laugh where I don’t have to be worried about sexy talk

 

[Bbl87]

As a bonus, I think there should be a Creepy AF list. This is for the people who just make your skin crawl. And maybe they could have a little Chris Hansen picture on their profile.

View attachment 2200118

I recall such list being mentioned in a thread at one point. It isn't public of course, but essentially there was a list compiled of creeps who try to prey on new female members. I was just morbidly curious to see it, haha.

 

[PlayfulLilDarlin]

Everyone does, to a degree, need to safeguard themselves here. I recently came back because someone caused a literal issue for me with my job because they recognized me from here. And I don't share pics, I don't communicate outside of Lit except with 2 people and neither of them were involved. And have never discussed my job here. It was a difficult time, and I was not sure how it was going to turn out.
Fortunately, I have an excellent HR team and we worked together to build a case and that person is no longer an issue in my job, my life or my outside of work activities.
I don't consider being aware of my surroundings to be cutting myself off, as a woman it's something I've had to do since the first party I went to. We each curate our own experience here and I don't blame anyone of any gender or non, for looking after themselves first.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

“Troll” is subjective/relative. We aren’t entitled to people agreeing with us or wanting the same thing.

This needs to be a message that every single person sees every time they log into Lit, Twitter, Facebook, your local church group website, any newspaper comments section, etc.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Honestly I’m just here for a laugh where I don’t have to be worried about sexy talk

Same. Lit is the place I can tell the jokes that would get me fired IRL

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My point re: trolls was specific to the folks who seem to attack others here. As far as commonality, we're all here, on a site devoted to sex/eroticism. We have that and probably only that in common but we do. I understand there's no right or wrong reason to be here. If I struck a nerve, my apologies. Certainly no judgment intended on my part at all. The beauty of this site is all folks should feel free to explore their desires whoever they feel. I was simply expressing what I've observed in my time here.

No nerves struck here.

I see that word thrown around a lot and have never been able to figure it out. I seem to always be missing context.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Same. Lit is the place I can tell the jokes that would get me fired IRL

Sometimes you need a place where you can see a message and say "Your post made me horny" and have it be an honest compliment and not a "police matter"

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Sometimes you need a place where you can see a message and say "Your post made me horny" and have it be an honest compliment and not a "police matter"

Exactly.

 

[Thom_the_gleeman]

I often wonder what people expect when they join, because the social landscape surrounding sex has evolved a lot over the past few decades.

And as for trolls, what constitutes a troll? I've never figured out what people think a troll is...

This is a much debated subject indeed, the literature is absolutely not seeing eye to eye on this one. According to Rowling et.al. they are humongesly big and humongous stupid, mountain dwelling creatures that prefer swinging clubs. Tolkien et.al. seem to sort of come to the same conclusion, though describe them more as battle hardened mules, that somehow seem related to the ents. Reports in several fringe yournals that report trolls being small funky haired creatures should not be taken too seriously.
Love,
Thom

 

[Lord Pmann]

I recall such list being mentioned in a thread at one point. It isn't public of course, but essentially there was a list compiled of creeps who try to prey on new female members. I was just morbidly curious to see it, haha.

THERE IS???!?

Oh wow. There are a couple of people who I know would make the list. I know this because we always share stories at our “Newly Joined Aspiring Sluts of Lit” meetings down at the local coffee shop where we have our meetings.

 

[THROBBS]

Another tally mark on the men side.

I have been very visible. I have felt invisible. I have tried different methods. LOOK AT ME!!!!!
One thing that seems consistent — you have to keep feeding the beast.

Voicing one's loneliness seems to drive folk away. We are more naturally drawn to positivity, intelligence, humor...
We also tend to want to be in the room with the beautiful people (Pman's Boutique pussy and cock) — until we begin to feel thrift store.
Over time, I think (hope) most folk find their peeps.

My inbox has been empty for many months. I am not as likely to instigate a conversation any more. Part of that comes from the realization that men as a whole (as a-holes) come across. I feel that eventually what I post will eventually resonate enough with some woman, who will reply or private message. If that happens, I do my best to suppressing my wagging tail (oh, that's what you call it?) and behave normally and sincerely. This has worked very well. Eventually folk move on for whatever reason.

Today has been great in that I drained the swamp — literally. Ok, not a "swamp", but a small "former" pond which tried to pull a Lazarus. I also replaced some twinkle lights above the book case. And took down the inflatable Buddy the elf. [None of that is LIT related, but LIT has not been "great" today. ]

Lit frustration comes from the non-functionality of many features of the EROTIC ART SEX ARTWORKS HUB ("up front"), and the lack of intercourse in The Visual Artists Corner.

I came to LIT in the early 2000s (diff user name) after becoming a bit bored with visual porn sites, which I frequented out of frustration with lack of sexual satisfaction at home. The stories stirred my imagination and were fulfilling to a degree. As with many, I found my way onto the bulletin boards and pushed & shoved and campaigned to create a venue for Lister created visual erotic art. Ta da, after some years there IS the EROTIC ART SEX ARTWORKS HUB and The Visual Arts Corner. Both have been pretty vibrant, but currently — not so much.

Too long. (that's what she said*)

*not about me.

 

[Photog1rl]

And then you'd see women who posted boob pics would have higher scores because one boob pic would get eleventy kagiklion 5 star ratings

You say this like it’s a bad thing…. Eleventy kagiklion sounds like a really big number and is boob posters like really big things!

Seriously though, it would be nice to see if a person is, in general, a shit or if you just had a bad interaction. It would also be nice to have a way to truly block someone. You can ignore them and not see their content but then if they are posting shit about you, you can’t do anything about it. It’s either know your enemy or ignorance is bliss and neither are that great.

I should say that I have only ignored one person. He did not respect my boundaries on certain absolute no go things for me and continued to argue about it. I was new to Lit and didn’t fully understand my options. Now I probably would just reported him.

What about a way to validate people further? Like using a phone number?

 

[may_I_please]

Another tally mark on the men side.

I have been very visible. I have felt invisible. I have tried different methods. LOOK AT ME!!!!!
One thing that seems consistent — you have to keep feeding the beast.

Voicing one's loneliness seems to drive folk away. We are more naturally drawn to positivity, intelligence, humor...
We also tend to want to be in the room with the beautiful people (Pman's Boutique pussy and cock) — until we begin to feel thrift store.
Over time, I think (hope) most folk find their peeps.

My inbox has been empty for many months. I am not as likely to instigate a conversation any more. Part of that comes from the realization that men as a whole (as a-holes) come across. I feel that eventually what I post will eventually resonate enough with some woman, who will reply or private message. If that happens, I do my best to suppressing my wagging tail (oh, that's what you call it?) and behave normally and sincerely. This has worked very well. Eventually folk move on for whatever reason.

Today has been great in that I drained the swamp — literally. Ok, not a "swamp", but a small "former" pond which tried to pull a Lazarus. I also replaced some twinkle lights above the book case. And took down the inflatable Buddy the elf. [None of that is LIT related, but LIT has not been "great" today. ]

Lit frustration comes from the non-functionality of many features of the EROTIC ART SEX ARTWORKS HUB ("up front"), and the lack of intercourse in The Visual Artists Corner.

I came to LIT in the early 2000s (diff user name) after becoming a bit bored with visual porn sites, which I frequented out of frustration with lack of sexual satisfaction at home. The stories stirred my imagination and were fulfilling to a degree. As with many, I found my way onto the bulletin boards and pushed & shoved and campaigned to create a venue for Lister created visual erotic art. Ta da, after some years there IS the EROTIC ART SEX ARTWORKS HUB and The Visual Arts Corner. Both have been pretty vibrant, but currently — not so much.

Too long. (that's what she said*)

*not about me.

I remember liking you

and now I know you have a waggy tail too

 

[Azuldrgon]

As a guy, I see the points.

Thing is it feels like one of those cases where you don't know where the boundary is until you cross it.
I have made a bunch of friends on here, friends I count as such even though the majority of them have not met me in real life.
I have seen friends hurt by "trolls" and seen people leave because of different things.

It boils down to something I have been saying for a long time.
Behind every screenname is a person.
If we all thought like that sometimes instead of nagging ladies to show more bits, maybe we can be better.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Everyone does, to a degree, need to safeguard themselves here. I recently came back because someone caused a literal issue for me with my job because they recognized me from here. And I don't share pics, I don't communicate outside of Lit except with 2 people and neither of them were involved. And have never discussed my job here. It was a difficult time, and I was not sure how it was going to turn out.
Fortunately, I have an excellent HR team and we worked together to build a case and that person is no longer an issue in my job, my life or my outside of work activities.
I don't consider being aware of my surroundings to be cutting myself off, as a woman it's something I've had to do since the first party I went to. We each curate our own experience here and I don't blame anyone of any gender or non, for looking after themselves first.

Wow!! How did he figure out who you were, if there is a way to explain without giving away too much information.

 

[PlayfulLilDarlin]

Wow!! How did he figure out who you were, if there is a way to explain without giving away too much information.

I am in the share your voice thread, and was open about, generally, where in the country I live. I had meetings with this person, and they put 2 and 2 together.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

I am in the share your voice thread, and was open about, generally, where in the country I live. I had meetings with this person, and they put 2 and 2 together.

Thank you.
Yes, it has occurred to me that this is another place where my identity might be revealed. I have a pretty recognizable voice. At least, before all phone calls were identified by our phones, someone answering one of my calls would know who it was as soon as they heard my voice. So, like pictures, I have refrained from posting my voice. (LOve sharing it one-on-one, but that's a different matter. I would not expect to be recorded under those circumstances)

 

[aussiegeekygal]

 

[THROBBS]

I remember liking you

and now I know you have a waggy tail too

awe!

You're making me wag my tail.
so to speak.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I am in the share your voice thread, and was open about, generally, where in the country I live. I had meetings with this person, and they put 2 and 2 together.

People can be such shits.

 

[MedicalMuse]

THERE IS???!?

Oh wow. There are a couple of people who I know would make the list. I know this because we always share stories at our “Newly Joined Aspiring Sluts of Lit” meetings down at the local coffee shop where we have our meetings.

So, are you a slut, or an aspiring slut? I’m confused.

 

[MedicalMuse]

(I think I used to be a slut, but lost my sluttiness along the way. Is there a process for resluttification?)

If you find out, I want to watch the process before I commit.