Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Orgasms

[AmberLGreen]

As in being fingered by Captain Hook

Now that would be a challenge

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh my lord. There was a woman on here many years ago that did this. She definitely drew a crowd.

That’s very impressive. I imagine the control that takes to draw with your vagina is just unimaginable.

 

[mickyp123]

That’s very impressive. I imagine the control that takes to draw with your vagina is just unimaginable.

I think you will find most women will draw a line at some point

 

[Trekka]

Ok ok ok ok

Lemme clarify that it’s a soft, velvety, satisfied, sweet, throaty giggle that bubbles outta my lips more or less involuntarily

And it’s not not sexy as mannnnnnny of you in this thread can attest!!

SEXONDLY! As @LadyLascivious1 so succinctly mentioned, sex = fun. Fun = laughs. Sex = laughs. That’s how my brain works.

tHERdlee, I see many other ladies here understand the >>> Pmann you’ll need to find a way to validate and quantify the female O timespiral.

And blast of all, @Lord Pmann you lose ten points for a lam3 GnR reference but you gained them back with the drawing ~ grammar ~ filthy link joke. Nice recovery there.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned on I am before

 

[ydahecnot]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned I am before

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Man, you know how to kill time on a day off

 

[munch2much]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned I am before

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I was about to say that I love a pineapple as much as the next man … but apparently not

 

[spiderwal]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned on I am before

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If you ever need someone to remote control then let me know as it seems the best way by a long way

 

[Lionel_Hutz1977]

So, the topic of orgasms is an interesting one. I think we all wish that we could experience another’s orgasm so we would know how ours felt in comparison to our own.

Now, I’ve been doing research on orgasms for many years. First, as a solo endeavour. Then, bringing in a partner when I could afford it. Then back to solo endeavours again. Research funding for this kind of subject matter is not exactly pulling in grants left and right.

Different sex acts provide me with different orgasms. I tried my best to graphically represent the most common here (anal will be added at a date TBD):

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This data is based on personal experience and I’m reporting the average of them all. There are certainly outliers that could exist.

Handjobs (from a partner): They provide an intense orgasm. Part of the reason, despite a hand providing no natural lubrication or cultivating an environment for a penis to cum, is that handjobs are often given during LONG makeout sessions with a lot of foreplay and what have you. So the length and intensity of that orgasm might be much higher.

Blowjobs: Hands down the most intense of all orgasms. It’s like falling off a cliff. ‘Nuff said.

Intercourse (i.e., P in V): I’m probably getting some head scratches here on my it is ranked lower than a handjob. The reason is, the vagina is such an optimum place for a penis to dwell (thanks for wall composition, moisture content, etc.), it creates a scenario where the penis doesn’t have to be all that stimulated to cum. Therefore, the build up is potential far less and therefore provides a less intense orgasm.

Now, these are my experiences and let it be known most of this research was done on synthetic, lab grown vaginas because no one wants to fuck me. But I assure you, they are very close to the real thing.

So, what say you, men and women of Lit? What kind of orgasms do you find most enjoyable and why?

Ladies and gentlemen, please feel free to add your own charts and experiences. This is but one man’s research over many years. I’ve dedicated many hours and even went blind in the pursuit of science.

Here are two more kinds of orgasms:

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Anal Sex: If you’re doing anal sex right, you’re going slow, using lots of lube and not just banging it in there like a concrete piling. It’s also a bit taboo and like you’re entering a No Trespassing area. As a result, this build up is intense and causes massive orgasm. For whatever reason, the release is less of a cliff dive than the blowjob.

Prostate Orgasms: These are the least common of all orgasms. They’re like the Bigfoot of orgasms. However, they are still fun. They just take a lot of work, some acrobatics and some puzzling faces. However, whilst the intensity is low, one can have multiples. It’s more like coasting over a nice hill on a bike rather than being thrown off a mountain.

Only 5 ways to cum? Pssh…you lack vision and creativity.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Only 5 ways to cum? Pssh…you lack vision and creativity.

There are more. But I only have so much time! Add your own ways to cum!

 

[StacyLeigh]

...also pretty much how my brain feels in any given situation so seems fitting

 

[ShaneoD]

Guys, take note: when a gal uses the phrase "when I cum" on your second date, it is a good sign that you're going to get lucky.

Why does this remind me of when a girl tells you not to cum during sex and your brain and penis seem to work in tandem to betray her wishes

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned on I am before

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Can we get a legend for the colors? And I’m pretty sure you put some text in that was tiny and blurry just so you could giggle while thinking about all the perverts zooming in and squinting

 

[AmberLGreen]

Why does this remind me of when a girl tells you not to cum during sex and your brain and penis seem to work in tandem to betray her wishes

Do you have Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

 

[AmberLGreen]

Can we get a legend for the colors? And I’m pretty sure you put some text in that was tiny and blurry just so you could giggle while thinking about all the perverts zooming in and squinting

The one with the red and blue is fingers then vibrator (tend to get wanker’s cramp after that long so switch to toy). Text was tiny so they could use their imagination. I like to improve their creative side in case our paths cross later

 

[Lord Pmann]

@AmberLGreen - why did it change from red to blue?

Oops… asked and answered up there ^^^

 

[YoWhatsGood]

I can’t believe how much people enjoy voice chatting. To me it’s fun but I need to feel boobs in my face along with the voice, it’s not as fun hearing moans and stuff otherwise. Maybe I’m just not doing it right

 

[default24]

I can’t believe how much people enjoy voice chatting. To me it’s fun but I need to feel boobs in my face along with the voice, it’s not as fun hearing moans and stuff otherwise. Maybe I’m just not doing it right

I always keep a sandbag or two handy to satisfy that need. #protip

 

[YoWhatsGood]

I always keep a sandbag or two handy to satisfy that need. #protip

I’m gonna try that next time I think

 

[Lionel_Hutz1977]

There are more. But I only have so much time! Add your own ways to cum!

Adding nipple and/or prostate stimulation makes each of your options better. That instantly ups the variations to 20. And that’s not including toys. I don’t have fancy graph paper but using an arc wave is a line that travels about a half inch and then shoots straight up and off the chart.

 

[mickyp123]

Based on averages and the fact that all of my orgasms are by hand or sexual toy. Time from start to finish does vary quite a lot depending on length of time since last masturbation session and how turned on I am before

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Have you tried the Pineapple at the beginning of the day, also after giving it some thought, isn't a pineapple with core removed and mounted against a washing machine on full spin a male toy.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Have you tried the Pineapple at the beginning of the day, also after giving it some thought, isn't a pineapple with core removed and mounted against a washing machine on full spin a male toy.

And the removed core could be the toy for the ladies. His and hers matching toy sets brought to you by Del Monte

 

[mickyp123]

And the removed core could be the toy for the ladies. His and hers matching toy sets brought to you by Del Monte

The sliced rings afterwards could tell so many stories they would be great in a cocktail

 

[AmberLGreen]

The sliced rings afterwards could tell so many stories they would be great in a cocktail

Keep them attached in a spiral and they would make a great cock tail

 

[mickyp123]

Keep them attached in a spiral and they would make a great cock tail

Will never look a dressed cocktail in the same way lol