TwistedJenn
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2013
- Posts
- 279
Hubs always makes sure I orgasm several times. He also takes a long time to come though, and I easily have multiple orgasms.
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I feel cheated and a little hurt if my partner doesn't cum. However, the demands of life occasionally win and make it too difficult for her. In those times I've come to understand I'll do more harm than good if I keep trying. I let her guide me and my efforts for the best outcome for her.
That is absolutely the most sensible answer I've seen here. It's rare that my wife doesn't cum...and cum first, but there are those moments as beautifully described above.
My frustration is sometimes trying to get her to cum again. When we first became intimate she told me she never has multiple orgasms, but as a couple we have proven that to be wrong but it doesn't always happen (especially as we age) and we certainly don't always try for that lofty goal.
There are, however, those rare occasions that we have to realize that there's more to intimacy and pleasure than an orgasm. This is a two way street and I'm sometimes the one that doesn't ejaculate. I specifically say "ejaculate", as opposed to climaxing or cumming, as there are times that the pleasurable sensations are great, and I feel that I've cum, sometimes over and over again, without ejaculating. This is especially true when I'm on the receptive end during anal play but also during vanilla intercourse.
We've realized over many years of a great marriage, and in attempting to age gracefully together, that no one is to blame if one of us doesn't cum and no one needs to feel guilty. We still revel in the afterglow of intimacy and the pleasure at our lover's touch.
Yes, guys do care, if the responses here are representative. Though I've known women who've told me that their boyfriends or husbands don't care at all! Mystery.
Great thought and I completely agree.I think caring if a woman or man cums is a small part of a big picture. A considerate lover in bed is a considerate person outside of bed. A selfish love in bed is selfish out of bed.
I think society, in general is moving in a matriarchy direction. I have had decent lovers but never had one whose only concern was my orgasm or how much I was enjoying myself. Which is perplexing to me because although I am not necessarily an orgasm chaser during sex, I prefer to focus on atmosphere, the end goal should be release of sexual tension right? I can't wrap my head around why wouldn't you want that - no matter the gender or sexuality. If he is laying back, I'm going to get mine before he gets his. Guaranteed./snip
That is great that you can satisfy your partner with no thought of reciprocation. Many times as men, we are trained to satisfy the woman first with no thought of our own pleasure. It is nice when you are in a relationship and the woman can take over, telling the man to sit back and just enjoy himself.
...I have had decent lovers but never had one whose only concern was my orgasm or how much I was enjoying myself...
I had one lover that thought it was all about him and never took care of me. Needless to say we didn't last long
I want to be good for my lover and she wants to be good for me. On those times she is real good, I climax first. We enjoy the moment and I tell her that I owe her one [some.]
My friend is in hospital for an acute case of premature ejaculation. Last I heard it was still touch and go...
I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.
I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?