Do men really care if their partner cums?

[werdsmith]

yes, ladies first. Always. I was raised to be a gentleman.

 

[CharityLynn]

***************

 

[waldo0321]

Women cums first.

My simple rule

The women always cums first, whether it's from oral, fingering, or intercourse.

From that point in the sex is always better

 

[CuriousTxGuy]

I have to say, even if this seems very against the tide, I don't care about that. I'm much more interested in him cumming. It lets me know I've succeeded, like my payment for letting him use me. I often orgasm during sex, and I enjoy it, but I am really focused on him.

I have had in the past, two relationships with women that as far as I could figure out never had orgasms. One of them did a fairly good job of faking it, but eventually I figured it out and she admitted it. That led to our breaking up. To be fair, she was eager for sex and certainly loved it. She just didn't orgasm. That includes oral, etc.

The other woman was an older woman, and she really didn't do vaginal sex. She did blow jobs and anal. Pretty obviously she wasn't going to get off. I am convinced she loved sex, but she simply didn't get off.

So somewhat fulfilling sex is possible without both partners cumming. That's not a requirement for a good relationship. It's certainly not a requirement each time sex happens.

A third woman comes to mind. Sometimes she just wanted to cum and I think she'd admit that at those times, she didn't care about me. In that state of mind she was just using me. But it went both ways. Absolute great blow jobs.

Because a lot of the best sex is impulsive it will never be subject to hard and fast rules. One person acts on their impulse, and the other allows it, accepts it, and goes with the flow.

 

[bigjbowski]

It's my goal every time to get the person I'm with off as many times as possible. When they cum it's almost like saying to yourself "job well done". The girl who says they can't cum. That's a real tragedy in my eyes. For a person to never know that feeling of bliss. That makes me want to be the one to get the job done. I knew a girl once who said that. We had to take my drunk friend home. Cause he was starting trouble at the party. On the way back I told her we can pull over and have a quickie. No one at the party would ever know. She didn't think I even thought of her like that. But by the time we got back a hour long trip took close to three. I slow fucked the shit out of her. Cause most guys probably just stuck it in and rammed away at her. But that's why slow was the way to go. After the first half hour of going at it. Every ten minutes or so one of us would say "were gonna have to stop soon" or something along those lines. But it would just make us go at it harder. Thank god her bf was drunk when we got back to the party. Cause you could tell we had just went at it like two animals. It was some of the best sex I ever had. She had e cups boobs biggest set I ever had the pleasure to play with. I seek out those girls who say they cant or don't get off. So for me personally I need to know that other person has got off. I gotta feel that squeeze and see that glimmer in their eye at the moment of lift off.

 

[Cumference]

In this discussion about what you do for your partner, I think we kinda forget about the "people's responsibility for their own pleasure".

You can't expect your partner to magically know what you like or want, you actually have to communicate it to them.


And if you don't know for sure what that is, then you have to be willing to do some experiments.

 

[eroticspank]

Well, I meant something a little different. I don't have to love a man I'm having sex with. I don't even have to like him. And very often haven't. I just need to inspire his lust to satisfy my emotional needs. That's what his cum is to me.

I understand, and that is what I meant by perhaps romanticizing a bit too much. When it comes to just the pure physical lust either giving or receiving I feel their is a certain amount of "primal" instinct that contributes to the good feeling of having a man cum inside of you. It is emotionally satisfying because it is part of what is in your DNA. Just like it is very satisfying for a man to plant his seed deep inside of a woman, part of our DNA too.

To me, the thought of a woman who enjoys inspiring my lust to satisfy her emotional needs is Hot. I like the idea a lot, along with her letting me satisfy her physical needs, like providing/helping her achieve orgasms.

ES

 

[StormyWindows]

Easy answer yes! Bigger picture tho is enjoying the moment and not being selfish.

 

[womaneater58]

I do care and enjoy the sex much more when I know she is enjoying it as well.

 

[scott6251]

I do care and enjoy the sex much more when I know she is enjoying it as well.

yes.
her orgasms turn me on

 

[bicurnow]

yes.
her orgasms turn me on

As would yours!

 

[policywank]

I have had in the past, two relationships with women that as far as I could figure out never had orgasms. One of them did a fairly good job of faking it, but eventually I figured it out and she admitted it. That led to our breaking up. To be fair, she was eager for sex and certainly loved it. She just didn't orgasm. That includes oral, etc.

The other woman was an older woman, and she really didn't do vaginal sex. She did blow jobs and anal. Pretty obviously she wasn't going to get off. I am convinced she loved sex, but she simply didn't get off.

So somewhat fulfilling sex is possible without both partners cumming. That's not a requirement for a good relationship. It's certainly not a requirement each time sex happens.

A third woman comes to mind. Sometimes she just wanted to cum and I think she'd admit that at those times, she didn't care about me. In that state of mind she was just using me. But it went both ways. Absolute great blow jobs.

Because a lot of the best sex is impulsive it will never be subject to hard and fast rules. One person acts on their impulse, and the other allows it, accepts it, and goes with the flow.

The reality is that some women do have a very difficult time reaching orgasm - I have known some for whom it is very rare or even never. And I would wager that almost all women do not orgasm every time.

I am in the latter category. I love sex and am very well acquainted with my orgasm. But sometimes it just isn't going to happen - usually (in my case) for reasons unrelated to my sexual partner. The last thing I really want is to have to worry about faking it or stroking a guy's ego so I can get on with my day (although I do both on occasion).

I really respect the commitment and effort of any man to his partner's pleasure. But to any man who claims to "always" make sure she cums first I call bullshit. There is a 95% chance that you are fooling yourself or she is faking it some portion of the time.

I'm not saying you aren't a great lover or that you aren't rocking her world or that maybe your girl is your perfect match and you really have it all dialled in....but every woman every time. Nonsense.

 

[SlutAddicted]

The reality is that some women do have a very difficult time reaching orgasm - I have known some for whom it is very rare or even never. And I would wager that almost all women do not orgasm every time.

I am in the latter category. I love sex and am very well acquainted with my orgasm. But sometimes it just isn't going to happen - usually (in my case) for reasons unrelated to my sexual partner. The last thing I really want is to have to worry about faking it or stroking a guy's ego so I can get on with my day (although I do both on occasion).

I really respect the commitment and effort of any man to his partner's pleasure. But to any man who claims to "always" make sure she cums first I call bullshit. There is a 95% chance that you are fooling yourself or she is faking it some portion of the time.

I'm not saying you aren't a great lover or that you aren't rocking her world or that maybe your girl is your perfect match and you really have it all dialled in....but every woman every time. Nonsense.

I love bringing my wife to orgasm. Many years ago when we went through a rough patch she told me that one of the biggest challenges she was having was my need to "achieve". It was a barrier to intimacy and communication.

She needed to be able to say "no I didn't cum and no I don't want you to do more or try harder". Absent that acceptance she preferred to refrain. Remember if you insist on all or nothing, you might get nothing.

 

[rod43]

You're always such a sweet, sexy and familiar 'face' Ghost_Man.

I always try for mutual pleasure and do my best to give my partner as much as I get for myself.
Sometimes I cum quickly, or first, especially with a new friend......after all it takes a while to fully understand the signals on what she likes and what works for her!
When this happens, I like to continue to pleasure her for as long as she likes or as long as it takes for her to cum. Massaging, fingering, licking....whatever gives her pleasure.
Lets face it, if she enjoys me, there is a good chance for it to be more than one orgasm!

 

[eroticspank]

I love bringing my wife to orgasm. Many years ago when we went through a rough patch she told me that one of the biggest challenges she was having was my need to "achieve". It was a barrier to intimacy and communication.

She needed to be able to say "no I didn't cum and no I don't want you to do more or try harder". Absent that acceptance she preferred to refrain. Remember if you insist on all or nothing, you might get nothing.

This is a great point, for men and women. I think it is important for the woman to be able to say, she did not cum and or does not want to cum. And it is important for the man to realize not to put too much pressure on his partner to cum in the first place. Sometimes it is just not going to happen. When we as men realize that and don't take offense I think it will really help the relationship.

Part of the problem I feel is how we see orgasm. For many years I thought bringing about orgasm in a woman is very similar to a man. It is mainly stimulation and good technique. There can be emotions and things in my head involved but those are usually brought about by stimulation and good technique. For women it seems to be emotions and feelings first, before stimulation and good technique. I am certainly no expert. The bottom line is it is different from men and in some cases more complicated. So we do what it takes to ensure she is happy and satisfied in the bedroom. Sometimes that is not an orgasm.

ES

 

[Wildfly11]

Together

Gone fishing.

 

[policywank]

I think thus is about being tuned into your partner. the more my partner gets turned on the more I get turned on. If my partner starts to breath hard ans mumble. .oh fuck yes. ..that's gets my clock ticking. If your going communicators and know each others sexual rythm you should be able to cum together or damn close to it.

Yes, getting tuned into each other and enjoying one another's pleasure is a key part of sex and leads to greater enjoyment.

But no, there is no "should" about it. What will be is what will be. I don't want sex with anyone who thinks they know what "should" happen.

 

[Nekidinaz]

I care if she cums...for sure!

I always care that she cums. We're both very oral and I love going down her soft smooth pussy and listening to her excitement increase as I pleasure her orally.

She is able to have multiple orgasms and that alone makes for great fun pleasing her and bringing her to orgasm...so, yes...I really do care that she cums and would feel the same with any female I had the pleasure to be making love with....hmmmm...now I'm all excited

 

[Larkfield61]

I was taught by a mature woman when l was very young how important it was to make sure the woman had an orgasm. We spent many sessions with her telling me how to use my mouth, tongue and teeth to take a woman up to the edge and hold her there, tease her and torment her until she's desperate to cum, the take her over the top.

I have always been grateful to that woman, l'm no handsome hunk and l don't have a huge cock but my willingness and ability to concentrate on making sure the woman gets what she needs has always stood me in good stead.

Plus of course, l just love the taste of pussy.

 

[maxpower33]

During actual intercourse, I'm determined to have my female partner cum before I do. Mentally it is very satisfying and also feels like I have more power over the situation when I stimulate at least one orgasm before I have my own.

 

[scott6251]

My wife had her first orgasm last night before I did. Oral. Made the rest of our night a lot more fun - she was really into it

 

[womaneater58]

Of course I care. Her pleasure is important to me and adds to my excitement.

 

[mroguepro]

I think most of us care

Just to pile on...of course most of us care...and I think that's true for both men and women. The major source of pleasure in sex is pleasuring our partner...and a big confirmation of that is hearing and feeling our partner orgasm. Of course, we (or at least I) don't always succeed, and I wouldn't go so far as to call such encounters "failures"...but it would have been so much nicer had she orgasmed. At least she got to enjoy mine, so I guess I was pleasuring her in some way!

 

[Iamsubmissive]

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Well I certainly hope so. Otherwise whats the point? Maybe on occasion the goal is purely just to get their rocks off, but that's okay once in a while when you know that's the intention. But how shitty would anyone feel if their partner never came when they had sex? I'm pretty sure it matters to everyone. (And if a guy says it doesn't matter to him, he's just covering up for being inadequate in that department.)

 

[Porkwarrior]

As a well hung man, who loves morning sex, my problem is usually the opposite...

I love making a woman cum, I live for it, I love doing it, I love listening to it, I love her face, her body, feeling being naked next to her when it happens...but being so thick can be a problem if she needs to get up in the next 5mins to go to work.

So I ask this...do women really care if they cum, but their partner doesn't?