Do men really care if their partner cums?

[suckonsimon]

I put my hand up for not always cumming. Perhaps it's every fourth time I don't ejaculate these days. Until my late forties I'd have thought that would be a frustrating situation, but not now. Not at all. My deepest satisfaction is to take my woman through a deep, whole-body orgasm on my cock. That's such a huge pleasure for me. And then, if she has had enough, we can lie together and she adores my still solid manhood and that's another huge pleasure for me; I adore it too! Then as we untangle I have this deep horniness about me which I enjoy. A readiness to fuck her again at her pleasure, perhaps later in the day or the night, or some day soon. I'm good with that.

 

[eroticspank]

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Great question! I can't imagine making love where I have an orgasm and my lady does not. In particular I mean I am VERY concerned with my partner's pleasure and satisfaction. That is one of the biggest turn ons for me is giving my partner pleasure and helping her to achieve orgasm. Sure there are times when I have cum and my partner has not, but the main goal when I am in the bedroom is mutual satisfaction. I am always be concerned with my partner's pleasure.

For some women achieving orgasm in front of a partner is a very intimate act. It involves a lot more than just pressing on or touching the clitoris. The investment in time, emotion, and genuine love is not worth it for some men.

ES

 

[Flirtyfairy]

I have had some partners that enjoyed making me orgasm as much as i've enjoyed making them. I've had some partners that were just interested in getting theirs and being done. The prior partners were the ones with the most fulfilling sexual relationships.

 

[coffeelover5]

Simply put, she does or I don't

 

[eroticspank]

In spite of my earlier post ... I think it's important to remember (as PW tangentially pointed out) that orgasms aren't the only good bit of sex, and shouldn't necessarily always be the final goal. I do expect some attention being given to my pleasure and enjoyment ... but that doesn't always mean I have to cum.

This is a great point. It is important the woman does not feel like she HAS to cum or that the guy she is with "NEEDS" her to cum as PW mentioned earlier. I find myself in the bedroom with my woman exploring each other and achieving whatever goals we decide. I am there to help her achieve sexual satisfaction, emotional too in our case, and it is her who says what that is. It MAY be an orgasm that day, it may not. I am in the bedroom with her, naked, close to her and aiding in all that makes her happy.

I learned years ago I do not "make" a woman orgasm. To me, making a woman cum, sounds a bit egocentric. Sure in the fantasy world it can be fun. But in reality it is about her letting me "in" enough, so that my physical exertions can help her achieve the satisfaction she desires.

ES

 

[Porkwarrior]

This is a great point. It is important the woman does not feel like she HAS to cum or that the guy she is with "NEEDS" her to cum as PW mentioned earlier. I find myself in the bedroom with my woman exploring each other and achieving whatever goals we decide. I am there to help her achieve sexual satisfaction, emotional too in our case, and it is her who says what that is. It MAY be an orgasm that day, it may not. I am in the bedroom with her, naked, close to her and aiding in all that makes her happy.

I learned years ago I do not "make" a woman orgasm. To me, making a woman cum, sounds a bit egocentric. Sure in the fantasy world it can be fun. But in reality it is about her letting me "in" enough, so that my physical exertions can help her achieve the satisfaction she desires.

ES

As a still virile older man, sometimes it feels like a chore. I physically NEED to cum. A lot of times it's a pleasure, I NEED to cum, there happens to be a state park bench...yeah a lot of mutual boxes are filled.

I also have no problem with sliding a toy between a woman's legs when she needs it, and I either can't or don't. Sometimes men don't feel the mood either gals, but a good guy will take care of you out of your toy chest.

Ofcourse then we'll say something else when you're done.

 

[Cycle Tom]

This is a great point. It is important the woman does not feel like she HAS to cum or that the guy she is with "NEEDS" her to cum as PW mentioned earlier. I find myself in the bedroom with my woman exploring each other and achieving whatever goals we decide. I am there to help her achieve sexual satisfaction, emotional too in our case, and it is her who says what that is. It MAY be an orgasm that day, it may not. I am in the bedroom with her, naked, close to her and aiding in all that makes her happy.

I learned years ago I do not "make" a woman orgasm. To me, making a woman cum , sounds a bit egocentric. Sure in the fantasy world it can be fun. But in reality it is about her letting me "in" enough, so that my physical exertions can help her achieve the satisfaction she desires.

ES

Well put. While I want to satisfy my mate, which usually means orgasm, sometimes it doesn't. That's where good communication is important.

 

[raysallx]

addicted

I'm addicted to the female orgasm, so yes, I care.

 

[sterculius]

Being able to stimulate and control my partners orgasm is the principal source of my own arousal. I feed off the erotic energy radiating from them. I have often had an orgasm myself while performing oral on both women and on men. The mind is the biggest sex organ.

 

[jason28053]

always want to make sure she cums and that makes me even more excited myself!

 

[man_4_milf]

absolutely!

 

[justherhusband]

Easy answer: If there's only going to be one orgasm in a session, I'd much rather she have it than me. Of course I care about her orgasm. Hell, she'll tell you sometimes that's ALL I care about.

 

[naughtynjmale]

any guy that doesnt care if his partner cums,

is a guy that doesnt deserve to get laid

 

[girlyboi85]

She's adamant that she's unable to cum, but she just doesn't try. It's rather frustrating and it makes having sex with her problematic because, really, if she's not going to maximise her pleasure, why are we even doing it?

 

[eroticspank]

any guy that doesnt care if his partner cums,

is a guy that doesnt deserve to get laid

You will be surprised, I know I was, that there are some women out there that want a guy that does not care if they cum. This is certainly not a justification for men to not care about their partner's satisfaction. But there are women out there that really enjoy the being used for the man's pleasure part. Some describe themselves as being a vessel for the man's cum. The fact that they do not cum is part of the humiliation and turn on.

Another aspect of this above is to be lusted after. Some women are really turned on by the guy with the hard dick who lusts after the body before him. He can think of nothing else than getting his dick inside of her and getting himself off. Some of these fucks can be rough, hard, or violent with the guy losing total control. As a man, I have been through this scene. After I was very apologetic because I was so far gone in lust, I did not have a thought about her, or her pleasure. I can see where this can have a place in a relationship, but for me just not every day .

As mentioned earlier too much emphasis on the woman and her orgasm can put too much pressure on some women and they can't cum or fake it. Some women don't want any spotlight on them in the bedroom. The couple goes into the bedroom, giving each other attention, kissing, touching, and fucking. It is a sensual party, if orgasms happen great, if not that is okay too.

ES

 

[S3xSlav3]

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not.

Yes, very much so. I care more about theirs then mine. If a woman was faking it I would immediately want to know how to fix it. As I get older I greatly worry about my lasting power. I hate the thought of her not finishing.

 

[Cbstone]

The only thing

Its the only thing that matters to me. If she is cumming, I am a hero!

 

[eroticspank]

She's adamant that she's unable to cum, but she just doesn't try. It's rather frustrating and it makes having sex with her problematic because, really, if she's not going to maximise her pleasure, why are we even doing it?

Orgasm for a woman is as much mental as it is physical, at least in my opinion. So you may need to get into her head as to why she is not interested in her own pleasure or orgasm. I could speculate but only she will know the true answer. For some women orgasm is a very intimate thing. It involves letting your partner see you in a state of loss of control, and physical/emotional release that may not have ever shared with anyone before. That requires trust and opening up to someone deeply.

ES

 

[girlyboi85]

Orgasm for a woman is as much mental as it is physical, at least in my opinion. So you may need to get into her head as to why she is not interested in her own pleasure or orgasm. I could speculate but only she will know the true answer. For some women orgasm is a very intimate thing. It involves letting your partner see you in a state of loss of control, and physical/emotional release that may not have ever shared with anyone before. That requires trust and opening up to someone deeply.

ES

Well, there's the thing that's frustrating for me: she says that she trusts me, but she refuses to let herself relax and fully enjoy what's happening. She tenses up whenever I do anything, even though she'll say that she enjoys it. I try to talk to her about it, with little success.

 

[Dodger93]

For me, yes, definitely. Firstly, there is of course the ego factor - it does take a hit if you can't manage to please your lady!

More than that though, particularly if it's actually a partner and someone you care about - you want them to get as much out of it as you do, to enjoy it the same as you do.
I know some women say it can be just as good without the orgasm, but when I've had girlfriends in the past, I've always felt I've short changed them if they don't cum. What I usually do when I do cum before them - it does happen after all - is either try and soldier on long enough to get them off, or use my fingers once my cock says game over.

 

[eroticspank]

For me, yes, definitely. Firstly, there is of course the ego factor - it does take a hit if you can't manage to please your lady!

More than that though, particularly if it's actually a partner and someone you care about - you want them to get as much out of it as you do, to enjoy it the same as you do.
I know some women say it can be just as good without the orgasm, but when I've had girlfriends in the past, I've always felt I've short changed them if they don't cum. What I usually do when I do cum before them - it does happen after all - is either try and soldier on long enough to get them off, or use my fingers once my cock says game over.

Yes I agree my ego can take a hit if I don't please my lady. But I see that as a good thing because it keeps me humble. There are times when she has an orgasm and I can clearly tell it is a mild one compared to the one she had last week where her whole body was shaking. I feel a bit sad at first, but then realize I don't always cum hard every time either. That kind of thinking helps a lot. However since my gf does not speak up much about our bedroom time, things always run through my mind as to how I could have made it better for her physically and emotionally. I note what she reacts positively to and when the best time for her to make love.


ES

 

[Todger65]

I always ensure the lady has at least one decent orgasm.

At my age the workings are failing so I don't cum that often, but I still have a hard, working tool along with fingers and tongue to help out.

Her pleasure is always my aim and if I do get off as well then that is a bonus.

 

[DemandingDaddy]

Sometimes I care, sometimes I just take what I want the way I want it. If she cums great. If not, oh well. Sometimes it's just about Daddy's pleasure.

 

[Bunbury84]

I should hope so if he's not an asshole.*

*Not the good kind

 

[Dodger93]

I should hope so if he's not an asshole.*

*Not the good kind

This.

If you don't care if your lady is being pleased and gets something out of it, the chances are you don't deserve her.