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Missingmeds said:
ya never know luv *WeG*
think i need to go there by way of NC though
What made you smile Today?...
- Thread starter Missingmeds
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ya never know luv *WeG*
think i need to go there by way of NC though
omahaman2
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1911 said:
Reasons Computers Must be Male according to the ladies
They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
A better model is always just around the corner.
They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
It is always necessary to have a backup.
They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
omahaman2
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A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
omahaman2
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posted this elsewhere and it brought smiles! 
so thought it should be here too!
letters dear abby couldnt answer!
* Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
* Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
* Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
* Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
* Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
* Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
* Dear Abby,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
* Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
* Dear Abby,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
* Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.
so thought it should be here too!
letters dear abby couldnt answer!
* Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
* Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
* Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
* Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
* Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
* Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
* Dear Abby,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
* Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
* Dear Abby,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.
* Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.
Anniejustagirl
gentle
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- Jan 13, 2006
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A late night semi-drunken phone call from Daytona Beach....
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I don't think I even smiled once today.
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morning boner 
Missingmeds
Just being
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- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
Good morning everyone.
My coffee.
An email.
The pm conversation that goes on and on.
A real life conversation that goes on and on.
My coffee.
An email.
The pm conversation that goes on and on.
A real life conversation that goes on and on.
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Missingmeds said:
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an ass-propelled gerbil cannon
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000486.html
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000486.html
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Missingmeds
Just being
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Good grief PJ.....
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Missingmeds said:Good grief PJ.....
wasn't me. i know gerbils shouldn't play with matches
LustfulOne50
Romantic Scribe
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- Dec 17, 2004
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- 35,978
As everyday I smile knowing My Heart is deep within mine... 
Ms.Breaker
Breaker of Shadows!
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princejonny said:wasn't me. i know gerbils shouldn't play with matches
LMAO! That was too funny
.Last night made me smile this morning when I got out of bed walking funny
.Coffee
.New clothes
.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
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- Nov 12, 2001
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- 11,151
- Taking a walk outside and finally collecting two days' worth of mail
- Finding another DVD to watch in that mail!
- Discovering my gums are feeling less sore.
- Great memories of a fun place that is no more.
- My 'Man.
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Ms.Breaker said:LMAO! That was too funny
Last night made me smile this morning when I got out of bed walking funny
Coffee
New clothes
thinkin of you walkin funny...and wishin i caused it
flamingcarrot12
Bothachs :)
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- Dec 29, 2005
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She made me smile today.
omahaman2
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- Nov 16, 2001
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- 18,171
A little old lady was selling seashells on a street corner. One afternoon a well dressed man passed by her, and she grabbed his arm. "How about some nice seashells?" she asked. "No, thank you," the man replied.
Suddenly the woman clutched her throat and fell to the pavement, "What's wrong?" asked the man. "I'm going fast," the old woman wheezed. "Please buy some shells."
Deeply touched, the man handed over enough money for all the shells just before her eyes slid peacefully shut. The next day the man was walking down a neighboring street and saw the woman again vending her wares.
"Hey," he yelled to a nearby police officer, "I thought she passed away yesterday."
The officer smiled knowingly. "Ah, but you were conned," he said "You see, she sells seashells by the seizure."
Suddenly the woman clutched her throat and fell to the pavement, "What's wrong?" asked the man. "I'm going fast," the old woman wheezed. "Please buy some shells."
Deeply touched, the man handed over enough money for all the shells just before her eyes slid peacefully shut. The next day the man was walking down a neighboring street and saw the woman again vending her wares.
"Hey," he yelled to a nearby police officer, "I thought she passed away yesterday."
The officer smiled knowingly. "Ah, but you were conned," he said "You see, she sells seashells by the seizure."
Stryderthorongil
Hiking fun
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- Sep 3, 2004
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Receiving the gift of music from a wonderful friend.
Minnesota_Guy
Really Experienced
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- Oct 10, 2004
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Seeing the fresh snow clinging to the trees...Awesome!
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