~$~ Happy Retirement, Lord Pmann! ~$~

[Trekka]

My fellow Litsters,

We have a member amongst us who, though he may be loud and squawky, can at times be very quiet about certain accomplishments. Especially real actual accomplishments, versus imaginary ones. Like that time he claimed to fuck fruit.

Perhaps you've heard of him. His name is @Lord Pmann. And, since he refuses to sing his own praises, it's left to me to sing them for him (with his consent, of course, he's very big on consensual nonconsent, as we well know). Such a darling. So noble.

But I digress...

So today, I would like to wish our dear, dear friend, P-mania, a HAPPY LAST DAY AT WORK, you made it bruh! DID THEY GIVE YOU THE GOLDEN WATCH?! (kidding).

Congratulations, Pmann, on an absurdly long and hard-worked career!! You've done so well. I've learned a lot from you. (I mean, I can't be the only one you taught about ponyplay. )

This is long overdue.
I'm glad you're finally off to enjoy those golden years, baby!
Don't let the ear hairs get too long nor the joints too rickety.
Stay one spry mofo.
There's no telling what's on the horizon.

So come on, Playground, let's have a retirement party.
Fuck work! It's Friday!
Who would like skip out, and bang on a drum all day?

HOOK UP THAT FIFTH WHEEL, GRAB A KNEE BRACE, and JOIN ME IN A ROUND OF........

For he's a jolly good fellow...!

*whispers* dont worry, Pmann, I'll never tell @Mr_bogey your real age. Secret's safe with me.

Happy Retirement, Lord Pmann! *applause* CONGRATULATIONS! woo-hoooooooo!

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

WHAT!?!? Dudes like 40! @Lord Pmann you holding out on me Martha???? Congratulations? Now come get me. You’ll need a live in “maid”.

 

[Mr_bogey]

And that dude called me old.
In honor of your retirement @Lord Pmann I'd like to take you to a show. I think we'd have a great time.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I hear when people retire, they often start to fall apart. New hobbies? Fishing? Knitting? Golfing? (Which I highly recommend) Tennis?

 

[QuietCanadian]

What colour of lobster pants do you buy someone for their retirement?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Perfect. I have this pack of Depends I've been holding on to for reasons.
Happy retirement

Enjoy all that golf

 

[QuietCanadian]

I hear when people retire, they often start to fall apart. New hobbies? Fishing? Knitting? Golfing? (Which I highly recommend) Tennis?

I'm not sure he can handle full court, maybe pickleball?

 

[ydahecnot]

Retiring from fruit and moving on to glory holes?

 

[default24]

WTF, I thought he was like 45. He's like 85? You can't be Lit's darling when you're spending all day in line at CVS for your arthritis medication. I'm ready to claim the title

 

[LadyLascivious1]

My fellow Litsters,

We have a member amongst us who, though he may be loud and squawky, can at times be very quiet about certain accomplishments. Especially real actual accomplishments, versus imaginary ones. Like that time he claimed to fuck fruit.

Perhaps you've heard of him. His name is @Lord Pmann. And, since he refuses to sing his own praises, it's left to me to sing them for him (with his consent, of course, he's very big on consensual nonconsent, as we well know). Such a darling. So noble.

But I digress...

So today, I would like to wish our dear, dear friend, P-mania, a HAPPY LAST DAY AT WORK, you made it bruh! DID THEY GIVE YOU THE GOLDEN WATCH?! (kidding).

Congratulations, Pmann, on an absurdly long and hard-worked career!! You've done so well. I've learned a lot from you. (I mean, I can't be the only one you taught about ponyplay. )

This is long overdue.
I'm glad you're finally off to enjoy those golden years, baby!
Don't let the ear hairs get too long nor the joints too rickety.
Stay one spry mofo.
There's no telling what's on the horizon.

So come on, Playground, let's have a retirement party.
Fuck work! It's Friday!
Who would like skip out, and bang on a drum all day?

HOOK UP THAT FIFTH WHEEL, GRAB A KNEE BRACE, and JOIN ME IN A ROUND OF........

For he's a jolly good fellow...!

*whispers* dont worry, Pmann, I'll never tell @Mr_bogey your real age. Secret's safe with me.

Happy Retirement, Lord Pmann! *applause* CONGRATULATIONS! woo-hoooooooo!

I was legitimately disappointed when I found out the fruit fucking did not actually happen. Then I was a little appalled to find out the vacuum fucking was real. At least he’ll have more time now to romance that shop vac the way it deserves

In all seriousness though, Congrats, my friend!

I like to commemorate big moments with art and I wanted something that would subtly remind you of Lit. After thinking about it, I came up with the bestest idea. And since it’s a present, you have to accept it and hang it up

Menstral Art!
*runs and hides while dying of laughter

 

[Apisto42]

@Lord Pmann I got you a retirement present:

May you have many happy moments together.

 

[Mrtenant]

Got you a walker with a nitrous bottle.

 

[default24]

@Lord Pmann I got you a retirement present:

May you have many happy moments together.

Side note... check out the curves on her

 

[Dribble]

Side note... check out the curves on her

And those stripes...damn rich that one

 

[default24]

And those stripes...damn rich that one

You see the tight one in the bottom left? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[LadyLascivious1]

You see the tight one in the bottom left? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And that’s why you were named the sluttiest Litster

 

[Trekka]

I'd wear that title with so much pride

Speaking of fashion.

You know what @Lord Pmann is prrrrobably wearing right now?

*adjusts spectacles

 

[default24]

Speaking of fashion.

You know what @Lord Pmann is prrrrobably wearing right now?

*adjusts spectacles



View attachment 2246381

Is there such a thing as too much paisley? I'd bet at least a whole dollar that Pmann has a paisley tattoo. On the small of his back

 

[Dribble]

You see the tight one in the bottom left? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

See where is he when we need him? It looks like a starfish around a butt. So the question...did he cut the hole there? Or on rhe side?

 

[default24]

See where is he when we need him? It looks like a starfish around a butt. So the question...did he cut the hole there? Or on rhe side?

If I know pmann like I think I do... starfish 100%
The only problem is that he has to use like a 4" hole saw so that he can squeeze in there

 

[AmberLGreen]

I am beginning to doubt the vacuum cleaner blow jobs now. Did they actually have vacuum cleaners? Wouldn’t they have still been using the old carpet beaters?

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I am beginning to doubt the vacuum cleaner blow jobs now. Did they actually have vacuum cleaners? Wouldn’t they have still been using the old carpet beaters?

I really, really wish I wasn’t certain about the vacuum cleaner thing. It haunts me.

 

[default24]

I really, really wish I wasn’t certain about the vacuum cleaner thing. It haunts me.

I think you'd be surprised at how many guys have tried it. And how many that deny it are really good at lying

 

[Bathtubbill]

Are/were you a teacher Pmann? Lots of teachers retiring today

 

[Trekka]

I am beginning to doubt the vacuum cleaner blow jobs now. If he was an inquisitive teen at that point, did they have actually vacuum cleaners? Wouldn’t they have still been using the old carpet beaters?

Who are you calling young, youngster?
My stars.

Why, electronic suction has been around for the better part of a century!
I know this to be true, because one time the Peemster accidentally sent me one of his sexy selfies. #SextFail (they happen)

I replicated the photo I saw as best I could, by hand, below. The arrow represents where, well, you know.