~$~ Happy Retirement, Lord Pmann! ~$~

[Trekka]

I think you'd be surprised at how many guys have tried it. And how many that deny it are really good at lying

I fucked a hammer once.
Just the handle though.
But like, same wheelhouse?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Who are you calling young, youngster?
My stars.
Why, electronic suction has been around for the better part of a century!
I know this to be true, because one time the Peemster accidentally sent me one of his sexy selfies. #SextFail (they happen)

I replicated the photo I saw as best I could, by hand, below. The arrow represents where, well, you know.

View attachment 2246397

I didn't know he had pubes. This whole time he's been giving me grief about mine... Hypocrite

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I fucked a hammer once.
Just the handle though.
But like, same wheelhouse?

Your vagina needed a good nailing?

 

[hotwords229_A]

So today, I would like to wish our dear, dear friend, P-mania, a HAPPY LAST DAY AT WORK

Is this the kind of “retirement” that occurs after an “incident”?
Like how a politician decides to “spend time with their family” after getting caught?

Did he start working when he was three?

He has mentioned being an Engineer, does this mean the railroads are shutting down?

I think you'd be surprised at how many guys have tried it. And how many that deny it are really good at lying

It has to be the majority, right? I stuck it in a wet/dry vac.

I fucked a hammer once.
Just the handle though.
But like, same wheelhouse?

Just stay away from the variable speed oscillating multi-purpose tools!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I’m suddenly feeling very boring for the lack of fruit, vacuums, and home repair tools in my sex life

 

[MedicalMuse]

I’m suddenly feeling very boring for the lack of fruit, vacuums, and home repair tools in my sex life

Is a cucumber a fruit?

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Is a cucumber a fruit?

Nope! I’ve also never used a vegetable to get off. I clearly still have some wild oats to sow

 

[MedicalMuse]

Nope! I’ve also never used a vegetable to get off. I clearly still have some wild oats to sow

I don’t typically use edible things to satisfy those cravings. I guess it has merit. Nursing has left me with many questions and a great distrust of objects not designed for their use…

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I don’t typically use edible things to satisfy those cravings. I guess it has merit. Nursing has left me with many questions and a great distrust of objects not designed for their use…

percent this

I saw way too many people come into the ER with things shoved where they did not belong.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Er...actually, yes. Botanically, it's a fruit.

One grocery store near me sells them shrink wrapped and labelled SINGLE CUCUMBER (this is true). I couldn't see why anyone would need to be told in writing that they were buying only one of them. But then I realised that for some people the dating status of a cucumber might be more of a live issue.

The reason for the shrink wrap is to make sure you don’t end up with these

 

[ydahecnot]

Pmann on a senior singles cruise.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh fuck all y’all. I am not retired. Trekka just thinks because I work full work weeks and don’t get summers off that I must be retiring now.

And for all of you questioning my age, I’m in my early 30s to early 40s. If you must specifically know, I’m 40.

Don’t worry your pretty little heads. I am still working. All of the brilliant engineer-y type things I do will continue to happen and your lives will go on without interruption. For now.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Oh fuck all y’all. I am not retired.

This is why I fucking love Trekka. And sometimes you’re not the worst

 

[ydahecnot]

I was assuming this was a joke; bet it had an interesting genesis

 

[Trekka]

I didn't know he had pubes. This whole time he's been giving me grief about mine... Hypocrite

Holy hell.
You too?!
I thought I was the only one!!
New thread?
Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Pubes?

 

[Trekka]

Is a cucumber a fruit?

Yes.
I’m glad you asked!
There’s a thread for that!

Just ask our local expert, @aussiegeekygal

 

[Trekka]

Oh fuck all y’all. I am not retired. Trekka just thinks because I work full work weeks and don’t get summers off that I must be retiring now.

And for all of you questioning my age, I’m in my early 30s to early 40s. If you must specifically know, I’m 40.

Don’t worry your pretty little heads. I am still working. All of the brilliant engineer-y type things I do will continue to happen and your lives will go on without interruption. For now.

Mhmm.
Uh-huh.
Nods…




*whispers* It’s okay to celebrate your achievements.
Enjoy your accomplishments! Always so modest.
Plus we all know you’ve been 39 for decades.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Who are you calling young, youngster?
My stars.

Why, electronic suction has been around for the better part of a century!
I know this to be true, because one time the Peemster accidentally sent me one of his sexy selfies. #SextFail (they happen)

I replicated the photo I saw as best I could, by hand, below. The arrow represents where, well, you know.

View attachment 2246397

@Trekka
Your drawing skills are unparalleled

 

[Nevyn_Black]

Oh fuck all y’all. I am not retired. Trekka just thinks because I work full work weeks and don’t get summers off that I must be retiring now.

And for all of you questioning my age, I’m in my early 30s to early 40s. If you must specifically know, I’m 40.

Don’t worry your pretty little heads. I am still working. All of the brilliant engineer-y type things I do will continue to happen and your lives will go on without interruption. For now.

You know, ever since you told me the thing about the other thing you do, I have to admit I have a growing sense of existential dread. Exactly how MUCH do you influence how things in this country are built?? And do you know how an unskilled person with no degree can immigrate to Canada?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Who are you calling young, youngster?
My stars.

Why, electronic suction has been around for the better part of a century!
I know this to be true, because one time the Peemster accidentally sent me one of his sexy selfies. #SextFail (they happen)

I replicated the photo I saw as best I could, by hand, below. The arrow represents where, well, you know.

View attachment 2246397

That is definitely a lot of pubes. Wow. Manscaping a little would be helpful.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I’m suddenly feeling very boring for the lack of fruit, vacuums, and home repair tools in my sex life

Popsicles were my most exciting. Obviously before I knew how bad sugar was.
Hmm.. I do eat sugar free ones now though.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Oh fuck all y’all. I am not retired.

So this whole thread was made just so Trekka could admit to having sex with a hammer?
That’s hot!

 

[Cymru9696]

I fucked a hammer once.
Just the handle though.
But like, same wheelhouse?

Sometimes when you’re a hammer,
everything looks like a vagina.

 

[mickyp123]

I was legitimately disappointed when I found out the fruit fucking did not actually happen. Then I was a little appalled to find out the vacuum fucking was real. At least he’ll have more time now to romance that shop vac the way it deserves

In all seriousness though, Congrats, my friend!

I like to commemorate big moments with art and I wanted something that would subtly remind you of Lit. After thinking about it, I came up with the bestest idea. And since it’s a present, you have to accept it and hang it up

Menstral Art!
*runs and hides while dying of laughter

View attachment 2246345

Well, after interviewing a family of pineapple’s I can confirm he fucked the youngest one first and worked his way up, finishing with a passion fruit

 

[mickyp123]

Sometimes when you’re a hammer,
everything looks like a vagina.

After that she likes to give all men ball pein