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Writing
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- May 27, 2013
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The story behind the story
My beta-reader TM sent me a story idea:
I wrote back:
Later, I sent TM an expanded plot outline:
My beta-reader TM sent me a story idea:
Disneyland/Disneyworld vacation. Brother & Sister are raised by a single mother who works long hours as a corporate lawyer. She plans a week long family trip to Disneyland/Disneyworld, but due to last-minute commitments from the job has to delay her participation by a couple of days and sends the brother & sister ahead, where they have a Disney theme hotel room all to themselves and full run of the park(s) during the day. The mom feels guilty and consequently lets them put whatever they want on her credit card, and calls them every night to say that she won't be able to make it the next day, but will hopefully arrive the day after--but ends up missing the entire week. The sister gets a makeover as her favorite Disney princess (Cinderella? Jasmine? Belle? Sleeping Beauty?) at the Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo shop. The cast members treat them like boyfriend and girlfriend, and over the course of the week they fall farther and farther in love. They make out on all the dark rides (Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Peter Pan), the sister flashes the brother on the final drop for Splash Mountain ("Flash Mountain"), and they enjoy a major kiss together during the fireworks on Saturday night. They watch movies from their childhood at night in the room and talk about which prince and princess they want to be.
I wrote back:
The challenge is to come up with why a brother and sister decide to get together. In all my stories, the brother and sister are isolated in some way. In my latest, it's because they are both working long hours and they are living together. But there has to be something that attracts them to each other, something that gets them to thinking about crossing the line. Why do the brother and sister at Disneyworld start acting like a couple? What gets the ball rolling? What prompts them to take the next step and the next step?
:
An idea I had this morning that I'm still playing with:
* Sister = Alice, Brother = Bill, Guy sharing apartment with Bill at college = Chuck, Alice's best friend = Debbie
* It's April of Alice's senior year of high school. She's been flirting with Chuck. She shows up at the apartment one night with a batch of home-made cookies for Chuck, but Chuck is out on a date. Bill tells Alice that his been stringing her along while pursing other girls more seriously. Alice is crushed. Bill has been trying to subtly warn her and he's sorry that she's hurt. Alice gives Bill the cookies, tells him he's to not give any to Chuck and to eat them in front of him
* Bill calls Alice and tells him he had a lot of fun eating the cookies in front of Chuck. Chuck was really jealous. Bill thought Chuck was a dick for leading her own when he wasn't that interested and was happy to serve justice on him. Alice loves hearing about how envious Chuck was of Bill eating the cookies
* Alice shows up later with another batch of cookies. She tells Bill to again eat them in front of Chuck. Then she gets embarrassed. Debbie came over unexpectedly while Alice was making the cookies and she asked all about them. Alice told her they were for a guy that Bill knows. Debbie made fun of her for making cookies for some college guy who cares nothing for her. Alice told Debbie that she'd get a kiss out of it. Debbie bet her that she wouldn't. Would Bill please give her a kiss so she can win the bet? Bill goes to kiss her on the cheek but Alice insists on a kiss on the lips. Bill doesn't see the harm and gives her one
Lots of possible ways for the story to ramp up. Not sure what the attraction would be for Alice and Bill.
Later, I sent TM an expanded plot outline:
I've got most of the details of the Alice and Bill story worked out in my head. The girl's name is going to be Kate (after Kate Upton) and she's going to look like Dani Daniels. Personality-wise, she's a lot like Belle of "Beauty and the Beast" - pretty, bookish, shy around guys, well-endowed. That was her favorite movie as a little girl and the brother at some point says, "She watched it 43 million times."
The brother's name is going to be James. James goes to the University of Tennessee. His family leaves in Farragut, TN, which is a suburb of Knoxville (where UT is located). His dad writes mysteries set mostly in Nashville dealing with mostly country music. Have you read any Dick Francis novels? Basically like Dick Francis but nowhere near successful. Dad's writing career is basically the family business. Mom runs the finances and does the marketing. Kate ghostwrites her dad's blog.
Continuing on after the first kiss, Kate is pissed at Chuck for leading her on. She went on birth control because of him. Kate asks for an idea of how to get back at Chuck besides cookies. James suggests that Kate come sunbath at their apartment. Their mom is very conservative so Kate will use the excuse that she wants to sunbath in a suit that her mom would never let her wear. Kate agrees to it, but insists that James be there the whole time. Kate shows up on a Saturday while Chuck is gone but will soon be back. She goes into the bedroom and changes into her swim suit. When she comes out, James is floored. She's wear a very revealing top and the bottom "looks like it was made from shoelaces". Kate is all embarrassed and having second thoughts. She thinks her butt is too big. James assures her that she has a great butt. James sprays sunscreen on her backside for her. Kate lies out their apartment balcony while James studies in the kitchen. Chuck comes home, sees Kate on the balcony and goes nuts over her. Kate flirts with him, driving him even more nuts. Her top is undone and she's careful to not show Chuck her tits. Chuck comes into the kitchen and raves about how hot Kate looks and how he regrets not asking her out. Kate eventually joins them, saying she's caught enough sun and she's concerned about burning. She shows them her ass and asks if its too pink. Chuck about loses it. After Kate leaves, James calls her on the phone and they laugh about what she did to Chuck. James tells Kate that Chuck is dying to see her tits.
Next day, Kate comes over to sun again. This time, when James is talking to her and Chuck is nearby, Kate "accidentally" turns and shows James her tits. James loudly says for Kate to stop showing him her tits. Chuck rushes over the balcony, too late.
There's another cookie delivery. This time, the bet is that Kate will get a french kiss. James pushes back some but eventually they french kiss.
Then nothing further happens. Kate comes over to sun on the weekends, but there's no escalation. Kate delivers some more cookies but no bets so no kisses. Kate graduates from high school.
Once she graduates, James and Dad leave to tour the country. Dad makes most of his money doing public speaking during the summer. Dad hates to fly and on long drives is easily distracted and becomes likely to have a wreck. James spends the next three months driving him around. It's incredibly boring for James. The only bright spot of the summer is skyping with Kate. They skype for at least an hour each night. She's the only person he talks to for that long. At some point, he says "You're like my long-distance girlfriend for the summer." She agrees he's like her long-distance boyfriend. Later, Kate models for James the Belle-inspired bikini she bought.
The plan is that when James and Dad get home, the family goes to Disneyworld for a week and when they get back, Kate and James leave for UT. Kate is so looking forward to it as she hasn't been to Disneyworld since she was nine. James is looking forward to spending time with Kate. A week before James and Dad were to come back home, Dad's mom in Nashville falls and breaks a hip. Dad cuts the trip short to go see her. Mom says that she and Dad can't go to Orlando - they have to stay in Nashville and take care of Grandma. Mom has to stay because Dad is useless when it comes to practical things like paying bills and taking care of pets.
Kate and James go to Disneyworld. First day in the park, Kate goes to the Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo shop and gets made up as Belle. She's wearing a T-shirt dress that makes it look she's wearing Belle's yellow ball gown. When she's done being made up, they starting walking around the Magic Kingdom. Kate says James is embarrassed to be seen with her looking like Belle. James says he's not. She says he is. He takes her hand and says, "Would I hold hands with you if I was embarrassed to be seen with you?" They spend the rest of the day holding hands as they walk around the park. During the firework show, James hugs Kate from behind. Kate looks at him over her shoulder and says, "Do you like being my Disneyworld boyfriend?" James says he does and kisses her. When they get back to the room, they decide to watch "Beauty and the Beast". They sing together the "Beauty and the Beast" duet. James puts his arm around her for the rest of the movie. When Belle and the Beast kiss after the Beast has transformed, James and Kate kiss. They kiss through the rest of the movie and the credits.
When the movie is over, James asks, "Would you like to sleep with your boyfriend tonight?" Kate says yes. James has no idea how far it's going to go between them. When they get into his bedroom, Kate strips down to her panties. "You've seen my tits before." James follows suit. They make out. James sucks on Kate's tits. They make out some more. James asks, "Do you want to...?" Kate says, "I want you to be my first." They fuck and then declare their love.
There's an epilogue that briefly describes their week at Disneyworld, which they start calling "their honeymoon". The epilogue ends as they are driving back to Tennessee. They have no idea how they are going to continue their relationship, but they want to continue to be lovers.
