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What’s worse than unsolicited dick pics?

EmilyMiller said:
It takes a stunning level of arrogance to assume that of course my empty and meaningless life is simply yearning to be filled by the redemptive good news imparted only to his faithful. Like I can’t decide for myself what to believe and need it to be revealed to me.

Fuck that shit!

Emily
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That's what every missionary ever has tried to do, and that is how I've always felt about them. It's disgusting.

I'd rather get a dick pic, and I'm a straight guy.
 
We used to have a couple of JWs come by somewhat regularly. They were kinda fun to talk to at the door. I think they got bored after awhile, when it was clear that no amount of pleasant conversation was going to lead to any of us coming down to kingdom hall for a meeting.
 
A plot bunny just bit me on the butt. The Diocese in our area has been closing parishes like crazy, for obvious reasons. In my mind is a parish high school reunion, say, a 20th or so, where everybody gets drunk enough to reminisce about who did who under the bleachers, and it all ends up in a swap orgy at the hotel.

Somebody else is welcome to take this and run with it. I went to a conventional HS and can only guess about the social dynamics of a Catholic school. All I know is the best sex I had in my bachelor days was with lapsed Catholics. Monsters! 😆
 
I shared this in the Comments thread but...

A comment left of my 750 word story, Reunion. Apparently Buster2U wasn't thrilled that my fictional version of the Afterlife didn't feature his specific god.

by Buster2U on 02/01/2024
It seemed like such a sweet story. However, There is a God. So it is totally fiction. Enjoy it while you can. The lord appeared to me, here at work, almost 10 years ago. The 10 year anniversary will be in about 4 weeks or so. I guess I should write a story about it. LOL This story was nice, but just fantasy. Good luck with that. NON believers only have one place to go and it isn't to the good place. Good Luck with that. Buster2U.
Click to expand...

Buster2U is, BTW the way, quite the prolific author here.

Mostly of LW stories featuring his wife openly cheating on him.

Odd? Yes. Surpising? Not at all. lol
 
EmilyMiller said:
In my opinion, unsolicited invitations to find Christ. On a fucking sex site.

😱😱😱😱😱

Emily (no one is as committed an atheist as someone raised Catholic)
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"You know, Em, there's another pretty cool guy who was also into restraints, flogging, and getting nailed while men with large shafts in hand loiter around waiting for their turn to impale him. And his name..."

My favorite run in with religious proselytizers happened maybe ten years back now. I answered the door and there were two fresh-faced college girls, one super jazzed to be there and tell me about Christ and the other along for the ride. I tried to tell them I wasn't interested, but the jazzed one wouldn't take no for an answer and kept asking if I was religious, did I believe in Jesus, etc.

Now, I'm a polite person, but when I said no, I meant no, and seeing her friend get increasingly uncomfortable with the zealot's insistence, I decided to have a little fun. I told them I wasn't religious, but that I was fond of Buddhist philosophy. Went into the whole (completely honest) spiel about how it had helped me with my anger issues, that it helped me to find a serene place and be a better father, let go of past injustices, truly forgive people, the whole nine yards. The one who looked like she had come along because someone had told her so said, "Wow, that sounds... really nice. Do you have, like, a book I could read about that?"

At that point, the other one got a look on her face that was equal parts, "Oh, shit" and "I am going to get in so much trouble if Brenda converts," and said it was time to go. Before they could, though, I put on the most serene, earnest expression I could and spoke directly to the friend, telling her I was sure if she went to the library and asked for a practical introduction to Buddhism, they could help her out. The crusader wigged out and started hauling on her friend's arm to get her out of there.

I didn't get anyone else coming to my door to convert me for at least a year after that.
 
NoTalentHack said:
"You know, Em, there's another pretty cool guy who was also into restraints, flogging, and getting nailed while men with large shafts in hand loiter around waiting for their turn to impale him. And his name..."
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LMFAO 😆 🤣 😂
djrip said:
We used to have a couple of JWs come by somewhat regularly. They were kinda fun to talk to at the door. I think they got bored after awhile, when it was clear that no amount of pleasant conversation was going to lead to any of us coming down to kingdom hall for a meeting.
Click to expand...

I was raised a JW. Left a long time ago.

I haven't seen them at my door since just before Quarantine, but I had a nice if brief conversation with a nice couple of African American women.

When they asked why I didn't believe in the Bible, I pointed out I couldn't support any book that endorsed slavery and the treatment of women as property and pointed them to the scriptures that do just that.

They wound up not staying long. I invited them to return and I could point out other reasons why I don't believe in the Bible, but they never came back.

Can't imagine why.
 
NoTalentHack said:
My favorite run in with religious proselytizers ... two fresh-faced college girls, one super jazzed to be there ... The crusader wigged out and started hauling on her friend's arm to get her out of there.
Click to expand...

I hoped this story would go an entirely different way...

I am disappoint.

I am also typing furiously in my favorite editor.
 
I've had several interactions with JWs, including at my door, in a park, and in the car with me on a road trip. I start discussing philosophy with them, and I can go on and on far longer than they can. They eventually try to make every excuse they can think of to leave, and I don't let them.
 
NoTalentHack said:
"You know, Em, there's another pretty cool guy who was also into restraints, flogging, and getting nailed while men with large shafts in hand loiter around waiting for their turn to impale him. And his name..."

My favorite run in with religious proselytizers happened maybe ten years back now. I answered the door and there were two fresh-faced college girls, one super jazzed to be there and tell me about Christ and the other along for the ride. I tried to tell them I wasn't interested, but the jazzed one wouldn't take no for an answer and kept asking if I was religious, did I believe in Jesus, etc.

Now, I'm a polite person, but when I said no, I meant no, and seeing her friend get increasingly uncomfortable with the zealot's insistence, I decided to have a little fun. I told them I wasn't religious, but that I was fond of Buddhist philosophy. Went into the whole (completely honest) spiel about how it had helped me with my anger issues, that it helped me to find a serene place and be a better father, let go of past injustices, truly forgive people, the whole nine yards. The one who looked like she had come along because someone had told her so said, "Wow, that sounds... really nice. Do you have, like, a book I could read about that?"

At that point, the other one got a look on her face that was equal parts, "Oh, shit" and "I am going to get in so much trouble if Brenda converts," and said it was time to go. Before they could, though, I put on the most serene, earnest expression I could and spoke directly to the friend, telling her I was sure if she went to the library and asked for a practical introduction to Buddhism, they could help her out. The crusader wigged out and started hauling on her friend's arm to get her out of there.

I didn't get anyone else coming to my door to convert me for at least a year after that.
Click to expand...
I’ve told the Jehovahs I’m a satanist before. Worked quicker.

Emily
 
For the record, I'm not a lapsed Catholic. My parents just sent me to Catholic schools. They'd probably heard good things about the Physical Education.
 
Djmac1031 said:
Well put it back IN there, for fucks sake. No one wants to see that... 🤮
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Sorry, it's a defense mechanism. Kind of like how sea cucumbers do.
It's pretty effective, no matter who is at the door, although I feel a little sorry for the Girl Scouts.
 
Bamagan said:
I feel a little sorry for the Girl Scouts.
Click to expand...

Too bad Girl Scouts don't sell Brownies. (Oo. That's bad. Real bad. Shame... 🤪 )

It's been at least two decades since I've seen Girl Scouts selling door-to-door, and that was to solicit sign-ups, not sell actual cookies, with Mom in tow. Too much "stranger danger", I guess.
 
Djmac1031 said:
Actually the best way to get rid of the JWs is to tell them you're a former member but now an "apostate."
Click to expand...

Their internal jargon for excommunication is "disfellowshipped". I did a fair bit of research in writing my current series, where the FMC was disfellowshipped because she married out of her parents' faith, a thinly-masked JW-like cult. https://literotica.com/s/barstow
 
intim8 said:
I hoped this story would go an entirely different way...

I am disappoint.

I am also typing furiously in my favorite editor.
Click to expand...
My wife would have been very angry if it had gone in that direction. However, I look forward to your forthcoming NTH fanfic.
 
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