Random rant on the day after Christmas (probably for the ladies...)

[AchtungNight]

No way, man. Guys are supposed to know how all this is going to sound and avoid sounding like that.

Because we’re supposed to be mind readers.

Yes. And women are supposed to be able to give us a chance, recognize the good ones, and appreciate them.

Doesn't always work out, in fiction or in real life. :sigh:

 

[MillieDynamite]

Is it my fault that women can read men's minds easily and men can't do the same with women?

No way, man. Guys are supposed to know how all this is going to sound and avoid sounding like that.

Because we’re supposed to be mind readers.

 

[Mrmphilll2]

Is it my fault that women can read men's minds easily and men can't do the same with women?

No not your fault. Us Men should know better for sure! Hope your Holidays have been good!

 

[MillieDynamite]

They weren't bad.

No not your fault. Us Men should know better for sure! Hope your Holidays have been good!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Is it my fault that women can read men's minds easily and men can't do the same with women?

You tell ‘em, Millie. Poor misunderstood guys .

Em

 

[Bramblethorn]

That email about the inheritance or the plane ticket *is* the obvious reason to stop trusting that he said would come. It's the email before those, that just says "hi, how's it going," that he's suggesting one might want to give the benefit of the doubt to.

Why, though?

When you've seen the same playbook half a dozen times, and it goes the same way every time, you don't need to get to the "give me money" message to know where it's headed.

If you have an obviously male profile, you're probably not on the receiving end of this particular gambit often if at all, so you may need to take it on trust that this is a playbook and it gets just as predictable as Nigerian inheritances and lonely Russian ladies.

I believe that 99% of the people who walk by my house will not burglarize it. The lock is for the other 1%. It only takes 1% to make me need a lock. But I can still accurately say the vast majority are not burglars, and give that benefit of the doubt to a new person I meet, rather than assuming they are probably there to steal my stuff.

OK then, no need to post the password in public. Just message it to me ;-)

 

[Bramblethorn]

No way, man. Guys are supposed to know how all this is going to sound and avoid sounding like that.

Because we’re supposed to be mind readers.

Or guys could read threads where people who get these approaches talk about how they come across. That's a non-telepathic way to acquire that kind of knowledge.

 

[AchtungNight]

Why, though?

When you've seen the same playbook half a dozen times, and it goes the same way every time, you don't need to get to the "give me money" message to know where it's headed.

If you have an obviously male profile, you're probably not on the receiving end of this particular gambit often if at all, so you may need to take it on trust that this is a playbook and it gets just as predictable as Nigerian inheritances and lonely Russian ladies.

I've dealt with dating ad responses from "lonely Ghanan ladies", people wanting to be my "Internet whore", and people chatting with me a bit about their dating profiles and then claiming out of the blue they're not actually ready to date or talking about the app more than the person using the app. All are bothersome to various degrees. Some shame me for interest in building a relationship and appear to not know the difference between vetting and trusting.

One of the worst was a profile who claimed to be a wealthy fashion mogul who traveled between Texas and Malaysia. I was like- "Wow. Hey, you seen the Hallmark movie Anything For Love? Where the woman sells herself down to date the guy who sells himself up, both lying? I'm glad you don't have to do that with me!" I was being sarcastic of course, and she took it as a compliment. Then she mentioned her wealth was funded by Bitcoin. I told her I'd be a poor investor. A day later of realizing she wasn't serious about dating me and was just fooling with my emotions, I called her out on it and was done. This was on Hinge.

I've also dealt with some trolls here shaming me for being a cat owner, a fanfic writer, a supporter of polyamory, and recognizant that hook-ups can lead to a long term comfortable relationship. Dealt with similar people on other boards. Not sure if any of them are female, but I would not be surprised. I have dealt with plenty of disparagement from women as well as men in environments where I can be sure of gender. It's never fun.

I have also had one successful relationship that started online and led to a several year marriage. I am open to it happening again. I've also had many lasting friendships with people I've met online or in more typical environments like school, work, family, or the service industry. The majority of these have been positive, even if some of the negatives are very memorable. I hope for more positives in the future. All will be carefully vetted and approached, of course.

 

[FreyaGersemi]

A whole lot of mansplaining going on here.

I appreciate it because it makes things easier for me to understand.