Random rant on the day after Christmas (probably for the ladies...)

[FreyaGersemi]

Do you all find it strange when someone starts a conversation with you like this:

"I love your picture. Good luck with your writing!"

Of course (through a lifetime of stereotypical gender conditioning), I read that as "Hey, baby! Let's talk dirty and share pictures." But it certainly sounds like just a quick check-in. A short statement, and then an almost closing of the door with the "have a nice life" vibe of the second short sentence. Although, that may just be a twist to get my attention...?

So, I bite.

"Oh, thank you. Unfortunately, that's an overly-glorified and overly-photoshopped image. But thank you."

The response: "Well, beauty does fade. It's the person inside that counts."

Why do I feel a little insulted? Was it an insult? Against my better judgement, I'm being reeled in. I respond convincing myself that I'm only trying to shore up my readership numbers and not trying to defend myself against a perceived personal attack on my cuteness. "Have you read any of my Literotica submissions? You can judge my inner beauty that way."

Crap! I hit "post reply" -- WHY?!? Am I really that insecure and in need of some stranger's approval? And worse, now I'm the one that looks like they're trolling for dick pics and whatnot.

But then the response...

"No. But I might."

That's it. Four words. Just FOUR FREAKIN' WORDS!!

Now, I'm completely, irrationally angry. And over the stupidest thing!!

This guy initiates contact on an erotica site, compliments me then low-grade insults me, I fall for it hook line and sinker, and he didn't even take the time to read a story?!?!? What happened to romance??? No wine and dine? At the very least, he could have just posted a favorable public comment (even if he didn't read the story), and then PM'ed me. He put in absolutely no effort!

Of course, it was probably just an innocent compliment and, like usual, I created this entire imaginary situation out of nothing.

And now I'm insecure about my insecurity. Ugh!!!!!

i·ro·ny1
/ˈīrənē/
noun
posting personal stories on a public erotic fiction site where you are rated and judged by strangers and then getting all worked up over being rated and judged by a stranger

And it was probably nothing to begin with!!!!

Rant over. I'm going to go outside and smell a rose.

 

[StillStunned]

"Good luck with your writing. I haven't read any of your stories, nor do I really intend to. I just want to make you think I'm interested in your mind even though it's your pic that's got me curious."

Essentially it's the forum equivalent of "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

(Speaking entirely as a man, and one who's fortunate enough not to be harassed by horny strangers.)

 

[ElectricBlue]

Rant over. I'm going to go outside and smell a rose.

Probably the best thing to do!

The cad! The least he could do was read a story, leave a nice comment.

Still, it's better than the lads in the purple Torana who'd drive around town on a Friday night, roll down the window and yell at the girls. "Hey honey, wanna root?"

 

[Bramblethorn]

Now, I'm completely, irrationally angry. And over the stupidest thing!!

This guy initiates contact on an erotica site, compliments me then low-grade insults me, I fall for it hook line and sinker, and he didn't even take the time to read a story?!?!? What happened to romance??? No wine and dine? At the very least, he could have just posted a favorable public comment (even if he didn't read the story), and then PM'ed me. He put in absolutely no effort!

Of course, it was probably just an innocent compliment and, like usual, I created this entire imaginary situation out of nothing.

The reason you're confused about whether it's a come-on is because it's meant to be confusing. If you knock him back, he can say it was just a friendly greeting and you're reading too much into it. (You didn't reject him! Crazy woman to think he'd be interested!) If you don't knock him back, it was a come-on and you accepted it, so now he gets to send you dick pics or whatever. (Crazy woman to encourage him and then get mad when he takes you at your word!)

If he actually said "hey your pic looks hot wanna cyber?" then he'd have no out if you rejected him. He'd be the rejected dude and who wants to be that guy?

It's okay to be pissed at dudes for playing those games. Especially because it involves feigning interest in things like your stories (which, sorry, they probably don't GAF about) and that then makes it a little bit harder to believe genuine compliments when you get them.

 

[AlinaX]

It is disappointing when it’s clear they haven't looked at your stories.

 

[StillStunned]

It is disappointing when it’s clear they haven't looked at your stories.

There's a mismatch in expectations. As writers we think the site is for us to publish stories, for readers to read them and for us all to communicate back and forth about those stories. But there are plenty of people on the forum who see Lit as a hook-up site where the stories are more personal ads than anything else.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

It is disappointing when it’s clear they haven't looked at your stories.

"No. But I might."

He's looking for something to read or he wouldn't be here. She's on the list, maybe. What else can we as writers ask for?

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

This guy initiates contact on an erotica site, compliments me then low-grade insults me, I fall for it hook line and sinker, and he didn't even take the time to read a story?!?!? What happened to romance??? No wine and dine? At the very least, he could have just posted a favorable public comment (even if he didn't read the story), and then PM'ed me. He put in absolutely no effort!

Of course, it was probably just an innocent compliment and, like usual, I created this entire imaginary situation out of nothing.

And now I'm insecure about my insecurity. Ugh!!!!!

I'm sorry but, from a guy's perspective, this sounds like the dude should have a pick-up artist YouTube channel...

 

[AchtungNight]

Freya, I have read a couple of your stories and enjoyed them greatly. I like your picture too and would love to one day meet the mind behind both pictures and story and have an interesting conversation with her. With you. I would also like it if you would read my stories and hopefully enjoy them. But I accept that is ultimately not up to me. I give you these honest words at no cost to myself but a bit of time & effort. You may react to them as you will. Have a nice day!

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

I'm sorry but, from a guy's perspective, this sounds like the dude should have a pick-up artist YouTube channel...

Very likely he learned it from a YouTube pick-up artist. They call it "negging", and it is totally emotional manipulation.


"Hey mom how did you meet dad?"

"Oh it was so sweet! He called me inadequate in very uncertain terms to instill doubt and whittle down my confidence then he swept me off my feet."

Fairly innocuous in a controlled environment like an erotica forum and a response is not worth the electrons it's written with. In IRL, if I ever hear negging, he probably also thinks Andrew Tate got a raw deal so...

 

[FreyaGersemi]

I'm sorry but, from a guy's perspective, this sounds like the dude should have a pick-up artist YouTube channel...

Maybe he does!

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

Freya, I have read a couple of your stories and enjoyed them greatly. I like your picture too and would love to one day meet the mind behind both pictures and story and have an interesting conversation with her. With you. I would also like it if you would read my stories and hopefully enjoy them. But I accept that is ultimately not up to me. I give you these honest words at no cost to myself but a bit of time & effort. You may react to them as you will. Have a nice day!

...that's such a desperate beta-approach, man...

 

[AchtungNight]

...that's such a desperate beta-approach, man...

Well I am a desperate beta. You have a problem with that? FYI if you do, I don’t care. I already got approval from the one to whom I was speaking. No one asked for your opinion.

[resumes his life]

 

[EmilyMiller]

The reason you're confused about whether it's a come-on is because it's meant to be confusing. If you knock him back, he can say it was just a friendly greeting and you're reading too much into it. (You didn't reject him! Crazy woman to think he'd be interested!) If you don't knock him back, it was a come-on and you accepted it, so now he gets to send you dick pics or whatever. (Crazy woman to encourage him and then get mad when he takes you at your word!)

If he actually said "hey your pic looks hot wanna cyber?" then he'd have no out if you rejected him. He'd be the rejected dude and who wants to be that guy?

It's okay to be pissed at dudes for playing those games. Especially because it involves feigning interest in things like your stories (which, sorry, they probably don't GAF about) and that then makes it a little bit harder to believe genuine compliments when you get them.

Perceptive as always.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do you all find it strange when someone starts a conversation with you like this:

"I love your picture. Good luck with your writing!"

Seems eerily familar. But even worse than an implied “let’s sext” are demands that you read their stories, because - you know - they read one of yours, or the first paragraph anyway.

Em

 

[lovecraft68]

It is disappointing when it’s clear they haven't looked at your stories.

As the OP's post proves, a lot of people are not here to read at all, some have never been on the story section(The general board thinks the entire site was made for them). Many just post to the boards and creep around and send messages. That's generally the personals, fetish, and playground types. This one seemed more like a troll than a perv, trying to hurt someone's feelings.

I'd be remiss if I didn't call out the irony of the fake outrage by some posters here who spend their day acting like horny teens, but then condemn this.

[No personal attacks or trolling - including creating accounts for this specific purpose. Heated discussions are fine, even welcome. However, personally attacking / kink-shaming a fellow author or reader is not allowed within the Author's Hangout. Threads which devolve into the exchanging of insults will be closed and repeat offenders will be given a timeout, per the AH rules.] - previously warned multiple times; time-out in place

 

[AchtungNight]

Seems eerily familar. But even worse than an implied “let’s sext” are demands that you read their stories, because - you know - they read one of yours, or the first paragraph anyway.

Em

I read the entire stories btw. I honestly see no reason to cyber. It’s the same as reading a story and imagining it happening, then jacking off. I’d rather have sex with an actual person and enjoy a lasting relationship. Not much chance of that, I know. But at least I got my integrity and imagination!

 

[FreyaGersemi]

Whoops!! I didn't mean to open such a can of worms. I was really just organizing my thoughts on the subject into coherent words. I tend to be very black and white and was under the (selfmade) impression that Literotica was a, as @StillStunned wrote: "..***** is for us to publish stories, for readers to read them and for us all to communicate back and forth about those stories."

Then continues with: "But there are plenty of people on the forum who see Lit as a hook-up site where the stories are more personal ads than anything else."

Now I know.

In the future, I will be wary of the barely-sentient apes single-finger typing while desperately holding onto their inadequate weenies with the other hand.

I'm sure there's a story in that sentence, but it would be better suited for a writer armed with sharper words than myself.

And by the way, I'm just disappointed in myself that I actually engaged...

At my age, I should be smarter than that!!

 

[EmilyMiller]

And by the way, I'm just disappointed in myself that I actually engaged...

At my age, I should be smarter than that!!

Please don’t stop engaging. Most people, even those PMing are nice.

I’ve had some guys whose initial contact was, shall we say, clumsy, who turned out to be fine and just wanted someone to talk to (not about sexy times, just talk).

There are some losers / users, but being on a sex site tends to lead to some odd behavior in otherwise OK people.

Use your judgement.

Em

 

[AchtungNight]

I live my life by Kipling’s poem If. I meet its standards when I can. I hope you will never stop engaging, though. You’ll ruin the hopes of the good people out there if you do.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I live my life by Kipling’s poem If.

If you can fill the wet maternal harlot
With both your tiny cock and buzzing toys
Yours is Literotica and ratings all hot
And what is more you’ll be Mom’s good boy

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

If you can fill the wet maternal harlot
With both your cock and buzzing toys
Yours is Literotica and ratings hot
And what is more you’ll be Mom’s good boy

Old Rudyard has nothing on you.

 

[Euphony]

(Speaking entirely as a man, and one who's fortunate enough not to be harassed by horny strangers.)

**looks at avatar**


(welcome to our club.)

 

[StillStunned]

Seems eerily familar. But even worse than an implied “let’s sext” are demands that you read their stories, because - you know - they read one of yours, or the first paragraph anyway.

Em

Why are my ears burning all of a sudden?

 

[StillStunned]

**looks at avatar**
View attachment 2300232

(welcome to our club.)

The dead eyes are a turn-off, I think.