Story rejected for being neither A nor I

[MillieDynamite]

I've been laughing about your original post, @Djmac1031 for almost 30 minutes.

 

[Stimtheone]

You know that movie about the video tape that, if you watched it, you died a week later?

Yeah, my story is kinda like that. Except you don't die after reading.

You just lose brain cells.

[Derogatory statement about journalism]

Oh, I have possibly seen and read worse. Though if it's some of that stuff, yes. Nuclear launch your way. Glass the city, just to be sure. Hope it's not on the cloud, then we have to do the same to Google.

 

[lovecraft68]

Allow me to give the response anyone with an actual rejection gets here

Don't like it leave.

 

[dmallord]

Allow me to give the response anyone with an actual rejection gets here

Don't like it leave.

Glad you expressed your opinion. It seems so different from the others though. Perhaps you need a cup of to help smooth out your day?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Make mine French Roast, and please use a French Press; it really does make the best java.

Glad you expressed your opinion. It seems so different from the others though. Perhaps you need a cup of to help smooth out your day?

 

[Helgamite]

Well, duh...'fucking editor.' What would you rather do, fuck or edit?

couldn't we fuck the editor while they are editing? i mean it would be quicker and pleasurable for both. lmao

 

[Helgamite]

You know that movie about the video tape that, if you watched it, you died a week later?

Yeah, my story is kinda like that. Except you don't die after reading.

You just lose brain cells.

oh so an american commercial then? lol. i see them and lose brain cells

 

[Kumquatqueen]

couldn't we fuck the editor while they are editing? i mean it would be quicker and pleasurable for both. lmao

The pleasure of editing is pure and must not be interrupted!

Also you'd run the risk of the editor starting to critique the sex rather than the text. 'Needs more force in this section. Too many unnecessary adverbs and hip circles. Repetition!'

 

[VallesMarineris]

Thoughts?

This reminds me of the famous (real) rejection letter that Proust got when he first submitted Swann’s Way:

My dear fellow, I may perhaps be dead from the neck up, but rack my brains as I may I can’t see why a chap should need thirty pages to describe how he turns over in bed. I clutched my head.


VM

 

[StillStunned]

Well, duh...'fucking editor.' What would you rather do, fuck or edit?

You mean... all these years I had a choice?!

 

[Devinter]

You mean... all these years I had a choice?!

Depending on how you read into this, this could be a disturbing NonCon comment.

 

[Lovecraft_Lore]

Yeah. Those letters are the best.

 

[EmilyMiller]

So my latest story was rejected with the following note:

"Dear so-called Writer,

Thank you for your submission to Literotica. We appreciate the time and effort you've taken to write a story and submit it to our site . However, we've found that we cannot post your submission in its current form. The checklist below may help you in re-examining your manuscript.

Are you, perhaps, uneducated? Or merely just a fucking idiot? We normally do not allow stories written or edited by AI programs on the site, but for yours we'd make an exception, because anything would be better than this tripe. Frankly as it stands right now, your story makes "See Spot Run" read like "War And Peace."

Please, for the love of God, find a fucking editor. Better yet, just delete this story altogether and go back to eating paste.

On the off chance you can read and breathe at the same time, please consult our Writer's Resources section and make sure you read our submission guidelines.

If you have any questions on these, please do us a favor and ask someone, anyone but us.

Thanks for your time, and look forward to never hearing from you again!"

So I'm not sure how I should take this, or what my next step should be.

Thoughts?

Thoughts?

This is a fabricated scenario. You’d still be agonizing over word choice at this stage, not submitting it

Emily (so very sorry )

UPDATE: Or - just as likely - waiting for some bimbo to get round to reviewing it

 

[alohadave]

You mean... all these years I had a choice?!

You chose... poorly.

 

[AG31]

This theme was somewhat funny in another, similar vein by a friend of yours. Careful ... someone will take this at face value and believe you are serious, spark a long-running thread, and create all kinds of hurtful results.

Maybe add a or a emoji to help such readers out.

Just saying ...

Oh!!! Say what???? He wasn't serious???????

 

[storyteller92]

I've long felt Lit should impose stricter quality controls. The good stories are being drowned out by the sloppy ones.

This is a problem everywhere but the real issue right now is the 'AI' problem

 

[EmilyMiller]

This is a problem everywhere but the real issue right now is the 'AI' problem

I suspect that AI is already better than the bottom decile of Lit stories.

Emily

 

[intim8]

Speaking of paste, I submitted my last story using letters cut out of newspapers and magazines and glued to a posterboard. Went through fine, except they stripped out all the fonts.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Speaking of paste, I submitted my last story using letters cut out of a newspaper and glued to a posterboard. Went through fine, except they stripped out all the fonts.

We have Manu. Publish my story, or he gets it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

We have Manu. Publish my story, or he gets it.

What “it” might be could become a story

 

[intim8]

What “it” might be could become a story

... in which he begs Lauren not to pay the ransom.

 

[intim8]

Maybe Lit should just embrace the dark side and have a category of stories written by AI, and shove all the falsely flagged stories in there. Then all the tech companies can compete for votes against each other and real writers and see who's better.

 

[Djmac1031]

What “it” might be could become a story

... in which he begs Lauren not to pay the ransom.

I sense a collaboration in the works...

 

[EmilyMiller]

I sense a collaboration in the works...

I’m much too much of a prima donna to collab

 

[KamiyadoriOWL]

NOW i really really want to read this story!! i expect some jewel like the movie "the room" now!