myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Posts
- 6,053
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Luciden said:*cry* Sir just brought me close to climax about 20 times and I'm not allowed to cum until the next time he calls me, which'll be hours from now. I've been needy all day! >_<
FurryFury said:Luciden,
You keep writing things like this. It worries me. Do you enjoy what you two do together or not? I'm curious.
Fury
Luciden said:of course I do. It just drives me crazy at the same time.
But I love Sir, he doesn't push me terribly far. ^_^;
JMohegan said:The stereotype of the online Dom is that he is married (to someone else). Obviously, this is not true in many cases. But in some cases, it is.
To the more experienced onliners, and for the benefit of those who are just starting out, I ask the following questions.
How do you know whether or not the guy on the other side of the screen is cheating on his wife with you?
Do you simply take his word for it, or are there sensible ways to determine whether or not he is telling you the truth when he declares himself to be otherwise unattached?
DontThankJustSpank said:In my case, that wont happen. My husband is very open to certain aspects of my sexuality and appreciates them, but not this. He cant be my master, nor does he want to be.
Little_Kitten said:Hey everyone! As I said in my intro-post, I met my guy online, and slowly we discovered that we wanted to engage in a D/s relationship, and we're gonna meet soon.. I cant wait... It will be before the summervacation, we don't know when exactly.
Actually Im writing here because I have a lil problem...
My bf n I cam alot, since it's the only thing way to see each other. I love camming with him, and it makes me so happy when I see him, and he gets happy when he sees me too....
I still live home at my parent's, I only recently turned 18. Lucily, my dad is outside our country, but my mom constantly bugs me... She alwayss interferes in our relationship, and she doesnt even know about my BF...
Recently she saw a stupid documentary about girls stripping on cam for strangers on the net, and now suddenly she has this stupid paranoia that Im doing the same.... Since I cam alot. She has confronted me about it in the past and I told her Im not that kind of girl and that im offended that she could think such a thing about me... I also enjoy not wearing too many clothes, and my mom apparently thinks itø's proof enough that im doing the same... god I hate her.... So she keeps taking the cam... She hasnt restricted me to use it, she just keeps taking it and hiding it with the excuse that she needs it :-/... So today I told her I needed the cam, and she was like: "I want know why."
And I explained to her that I take piccies and cam with friends.
And then she responded with: "i really dont see how you can cam with friends so much. It puzzles me why you're using it so much"
I told her that im not doing what she thinks im doing and that i cant belive she even suspects that. So she asked why I need it now, right at this moment, and I said that I didn't... But that she shouldn't hide it from me. Then she just didnt say anything and whent back to working on her laptop... Oof!! I hate her >.<!! I know I shouldn't say that, but right at this moment I hate her more than anything. I admit that My BF and I have had... uh "private" camsessions... But it's the closest thing to sexual interaction... And like any other couple... We DO want to do sexual things... We are even starting to feel that cam just isnt enough, and it's hell without it...
Can someone please help with this?! How am I going to make my mom understand? I cant tell her about my BF... She probly wouldn't support it at all. She would think this is a result of me spending too much time on my computer or sumthing...
oy... what should I do? >.< She treats me like a kid, but I'm an adult now and I can think for myself....
Thanks for taking your time to read this rant made by little kitten...
Luciden said:Oh no. It finally happened. Sir finally got what he wanted for about 2 weeks now- he made me cum so hard I peed >_< damn, it was a really good cum, but I didn't wanna pee. *sniffle* oh well, at least Sir enjoyed that >_>
Any of your Masters have kinks like that? >_>
edit: oh, and little kitten- you could just lie to your mom and say the cam is broken and that you tossed it, and then hide it in your room somewhere. or, you can say "fuck you, I'm an adult" That's what I do to my mum.
raven2 said:In my case, I have actually had my wife communicate with my sub and they have become friends. That leaves no doubt about the honesty part. Unfortunately, I realize that it is not a solution that everyone can deal with
lil_slave_rose said:i'm not one to judge but i must say, if you are not 'getting' what you want out of your marriage, why try to find it online, why not talk to your husband about it and see where that goes, i mean if a part of yourself is missing because he won't do this thing, then can you ever truly be happy in your marriage? i know for me, if i was married, and it was not a D/s kind of relationship i would be miserable and would more than likely have to end it due to the fact that i couldn't be 'me'. i'm not saying to end your marriage, i'm just saying first of all, how would hubby feel if he found out about online Dom?? i guess to me, honesty is everything, if you're not being honest with your spouse then you're not being honest with yourself. *shrugs* i think i'm just rambling, but i know in my head exactly what i'm trying to say..lol..and i hope it's coming out right and not like i'm judging or chastising, because i'm not...honest i guess what i'm trying to say is if you can't be 'yourself' (submissive) in your marriage, how can you ever possibly be truly happy.....?
DontThankJustSpank said:I know you're not chastising me and everything you've brought up is valid. Interesting because my Mr. and I had much of this brought out in our chat today. I may not be "happy" with my husband, but I am content.
My husband can and has "played" at being my master but cant live it out. I thought that was a part of myself that I could stifle away and I have found that I can't. He knows that I have had lovers before and has shared me quite willingly. But he doesn't understand d/s and has no desire for it.
As for being submissive, I'm not IRL. Kind of a controlling bitch really at times. But not with my Mr. No desire to displease him.
He's been peeking away at my posts here and the responses. We've had some very enlightening chats today so it's all good.
Still scared as shit about how we've connected. It's very quick for me but I will gladly deal with the apprehension to be his pet.
DontThankJustSpank said:Too long to quote your entire post, but read and pondered. I consider myself lucky to know you aren't talking about my situation.
My Mr. is above all, completely understanding and encouraging me to seek out support where I need to. He knows that I have a life outside of what happens when he and I chat and respects that. We have our own way to discuss our "outside" lives beyond my being his pet and I am finding him a wonderful friend as well as a wonderful master. I am utterly confident from what he has told me that he has no desire to truly cause me pain beyond what our relationship suggests there should be. I will NOT give up my spankings.
He completely "gets" what it means to be a true master to me and is unwilling to do anything that would jeapordize that. He has made it abundantly clear to me that honesty is the deal breaker. He knows that I am married and has reassured my own nerves that he has no desire to do/cause me to do anything that would jeapordize that.
I have been in a d/s situation where the dom took advantange of my willingness to please and put me in a situation where I had no safe out. He crossed a line and is no longer a part of my life. It scared me away from seeking out the d/s satisfaction that I desired from a master for a very long time.
My Mr. has heard about this and was suitably disgusted. His reassurance of my fears and his own expressions of concern comfort me.
All masters aren't like mine and for that I adore him. There are good and bad doms, as well as good and bad subs.
Let's be careful out there...
my Mr.'s pet
I asked because, since coming to Lit, I have read many posts that may be paraphrased as: "I loved my Master so much, and I tried so hard to please him for such a long time, and then one day he just stopped talking to me and it broke my heart and I just want to know what I did wrong."lil_slave_rose said:you're looking for big fat red flags *grins* i.e. will only call you at certain times, will not give you His number, gives you an alternate email address to send Him emails, signing off in the middle of conversations. i mean i guess there is no real way of knowing whether you're being lied to unless they get caught red handed but is there anyway to know you're being lied to in r/l either? i mean in the beginning of the relationship?
lil_slave_rose said:shy slave: i agree with everything you said and the battery thing concerned me as well when i read it, and it still does, that,to me, is not either safe or sane. anyway, there are bullies in this lifestyle whether it be online or r/l. i was talking to a submissive on lit, who has never posted on the threads but read them all the time, and she has now decided that she is not going to read them anymore, because she was 'comparing' the Dom's on here to her Dom, and she wants to learn everything from Him, not from other people, i'm truly hoping that this was a decision she made and not one that He made for her because, taking her away from a support system like lit, is isolating her. i do hope new submissives online and r/l will read your words and understand what you are saying. there are so many players and it's sad that someone would take advantage of another, but it happens, and as submissives some of them don't see it until it's too late, and they are in a situation they cannot get out of. anyway, i just wanted to say i thought what you said was very well said!
shy slave said:<snip>
In general this thread bothers me when I read it.
I am concerned by the levels that people go to in an online situation.
I am not anti online. Not at all.
But I worry about how safe people are and how far they would go for someone they have never met.
The post about putting a hot battery inside themselves, shocked me. This has the potential of danger beyond what could be considered safe or sane.
I have heard of online Doms telling a sub they cannot post online. I have heard about online Doms wanting control outside of a sexual situation for example a submissives work, finances, child care arrangements.
A good Dom should not be cutting a submissive off from those around her but encouraging her to ask questions and find out more about herself, knowing yourself improves submission; it does not suffocate it.<snip>
lil_slave_rose said:i'm not one to judge but i must say, if you are not 'getting' what you want out of your marriage, why try to find it online, why not talk to your husband about it and see where that goes, i mean if a part of yourself is missing because he won't do this thing, then can you ever truly be happy in your marriage? i know for me, if i was married, and it was not a D/s kind of relationship i would be miserable and would more than likely have to end it due to the fact that i couldn't be 'me'. i'm not saying to end your marriage, i'm just saying first of all, how would hubby feel if he found out about online Dom?? i guess to me, honesty is everything, if you're not being honest with your spouse then you're not being honest with yourself. *shrugs* i think i'm just rambling, but i know in my head exactly what i'm trying to say..lol..and i hope it's coming out right and not like i'm judging or chastising, because i'm not...honest i guess what i'm trying to say is if you can't be 'yourself' (submissive) in your marriage, how can you ever possibly be truly happy.....?
JMohegan said:I asked because, since coming to Lit, I have read many posts that may be paraphrased as: "I loved my Master so much, and I tried so hard to please him for such a long time, and then one day he just stopped talking to me and it broke my heart and I just want to know what I did wrong."
Now, there may be people like Furry Fury who don't care if the one they play with online is lying about their marital status or gender or anything else. My response to that is to say: No problem. Have fun.
But.
It is clear to me that there are many women who are earnestly trying to develop a primary relationship with the guy they met as an online Dom. And yes, I think the opportunities for deception are far, far greater in the online world than the physical one.
shy slave said:Thank you Rose.
I have been pondering the past few days as to whether to speak up or not.
I didn't want people to think I have issues with all online.
I am sorry that someone has decided not to even read Lit or other sites. Like you, I hope her Dom did not encourage her in this. On the other hand if he didn't she really is cutting herself off from alot of information, knowledge, friendship and fun.
If she is comparing her Dom to others and he is falling short of the mark, the horrible truth may be that he is the wrong Dom for her.
FurryFury said:Perhaps this wasn't written to me but I want to answer it too. I am happy with my marriage. I am very much in love with my husband and he is also in love with me. More than that, we are friends, we support, like and really admire one another.
I only consciously became aware of my BDSM needs a few years ago. Since that time he has tried things with me, our trust and communication has only grown but he is not a Dom. Does that mean I want to leave him? No. If I did I don't think I'd like me much anymore.
This wonderful man showed me a way of love I'd never known about before. His vision of what love was, wasn't jealous or competitive. It took me out of a hell that I'd been in before. Each day I thank the powers that be for him and our kids, our life together. There is no way in the world I'd forsake any of this or any of them.
We've talked about going to a Dom/me, playing with other people or couples and we've been to demos / play parties at our local group. We've switch for each other but being the top is not either of our thing most of the time.
So online is my best way, not because he won't let me, he will, but because of my own hang ups so far of getting what I want / need, during those times that there are little or no scenes between us. Those scenes are great but often don't quite do it for me on a D/s level because at heart we are both submissive in the bedroom and that can't be faked well even though we are both excellent actors.
This way I can still be comfortable with the "me" I see in my mind's eye, ethically. In fact I like myself a great deal more. I accept my own needs a great deal more as well. That, to me is a beautiful thing.
JMohegan said:I asked because, since coming to Lit, I have read many posts that may be paraphrased as: "I loved my Master so much, and I tried so hard to please him for such a long time, and then one day he just stopped talking to me and it broke my heart and I just want to know what I did wrong."
lil_slave_rose said:i agree, and no it wasn't written to you, i was speaking to kitten, and again it was my opinion and feelings on things if it were me. i do hope you and her both know i was not judging anyone for living life they way that they do. i was just simply saying that for me, it's best to be honest with your spouse about the situation rather than sneaking around doing it behind their back and then having them find out and a whole new can of worms being opend. i am not one who can just live 'content' i have to be happy in my relationship in every way, and if i can't be myself with the person i'm with for whatever reason, then it's time for me to move on. no, i don't assume this is way everyone feels and to each their own, IMO honesty is the only answer and i could not have an 'online' relationship with someone else if i knew my spouse would not be happy with it and if i felt something was lacking enough in our relationship that i went out looking for it elsewhere, then it would be time to re-asses my relationship/marriage. again i hope i'm coming off right and not like i'm judging anyone else, i assure you that is not what i'm trying to do, i just don't have a way with words and it's hard for me to express what's in my head. anyway, best of luck to you
There are lying Doms and honest Doms.lil_slave_rose said:*nods* i understand what you're saying and why you posed the question, but luckily not all 'online' Dom's are fake. while you do have to be more careful online, i do truly believe there are just as many 'fake' Dom's in the 'physical' world as well. online relationships in general take more work and patience than a relationship in the 'physical' world, or course, but not all are alike and not all are just playing.
Would you have said the same thing, Rose, before you met your partner? That you don't even care what gender the person really is?FurryFury said:I personally don't care if mine is otherwise attached, why should I, after all I am. As long as he gets what he wants and I get what I want, I don't care if he has am online harem, is a woman or whatever.
FurryFury said:Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. My husband is fine with what I do online or off, I make the decisions about what I need to do and he supports them. He is quite aware of what I am doing.
Likewise my online Master is aware of my husband as well.
I'm not just content. I'm not less myself. I'm simply not willing to walk out on a wonderful man who I love and treasure because he doesn't fit desires I am suddenly aware of. I don't think I could live with myself if I did.
I can live with myself this way. He is happy. I am happy. My online Master is happy. My kids are happy. This I can be thrilled with and I am.
Meanwhile if I suddenly feel I can play in public or with others, that too is open to me because of the amazingly unselfish love of my husband. I can assure you if he weren't okay with all this, I wouldn't be here, be at my local scene or have an online Master. When I love someone I do it with all of my being and a great deal of loyalty.
As EG said, you can love more than one.
Fury
JMohegan said:There are lying Doms and honest Doms.
A Dom is a guy who gets off on controlling someone's behavior in a personal relationship. Who gives him this power, title, or role? One person and one person only. The woman who yields to his will, whether online or off.
My question was not getting at the issue of who is real or fake anything. I'm talking about deception, plain and simple.
Post 354:
Would you have said the same thing, Rose, before you met your partner? That you don't even care what gender the person really is?
How do you (general "you") know even the most basic information about the person with whom you are communicating when you can't even see his/her face or hear his/her voice?
If you move to webcam, then you may confirm gender and guess at age. But will you meet his friends? Family? Co-workers at the office picnic? Will you see him interact with waiters, or the guy next to him in line at the movies, or the guy who cuts him off in traffic?
You can gain an incredible amount of information about a guy from watching him interact with someone other than yourself. The isolation of one-on-one Internet time may be exquisitely intimate, but in many ways it just simply can *not* duplicate real life. And I am not speaking here about skin to skin contact, but rather about the multitude of experiences, situations, dilemmas, and challenges of interacting with more than a single human being at once.