Conversation

[ratherabsurd1]

Not personally but then Im not shy in real life either. Im not bothered about rejection tbh, if someone isnt interested, someone else will be. If they're not interested then why should I be interested in them? Meh, there are worse things in the world

That is a wonderful outlook ..

 

[smokeythebearr5]

Do you ever hesitate on attempting to start a conversation because you are not sure if you will be well received, or you are not sure how you will start the interaction?

And, along those same lines, is the fear of rejection in cyberland comparable to the fear of rejection in the real world?

I don't think I feel the nerves as much as I do the feeling of worry about whether or not the conversation I plan to try to start will actually be fruitful and intereresting. Many of a time have I messaged someone only to get dismal replies and I'm forced to try to carry a conversation by myself.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

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[Wild_Honey_66]

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[Wild_Honey_66]

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[Ivy1979]

It's never fear.

It is, most often, that i am bone-weary of investing myself in something that seems one-sided. Or not a good fit.

It can be frustrating when there seems to be a connection and the other person appears to be putting only minimal effort into the relationship, or stops communicating altogether. But i guess that's how you know that they've chosen not to make you a priority.

I feel the same way you put a lot of effort in to the conversation think it going well then all communication stop making you wonder what you did wrong

 

[rlaflamme]

Some great thoughts yesterday, thank you all for jumping in

 

[rlaflamme]

Have you ever had a conversation that you felt the other person was trying to persuade you to indulge in a fantasy that you have never wanted? Like you tell them it is not something you would entertain but they continue to try and sell it to you?

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Have you ever had a conversation that you felt the other person was trying to persuade you to indulge in a fantasy that you have never wanted? Like you tell them it is not something you would entertain but they continue to try and sell it to you?

Frequently... this is lit after all...

The worst are the ones that choose to hint at taboo when what they mean is underage fantasies I got that a bit at the start but I think people know me well enough to know I’d cut their dicks off now... also incest... I seem to attract a disproportionate number of men with mommy fantasies...

 

[Kittywilderness]

Frequently... this is lit after all...

The worst are the ones that choose to hint at taboo when what they mean is underage fantasies I got that a bit at the start but I think people know me well enough to know I’d cut their dicks off now... also incest... I seem to attract a disproportionate number of men with mommy fantasies...

Rape fantasies really rub me the wrong way, pardon the pun. I have no time for it. Especially not in the climate we're living in tbh

 

[toben3297]

Rape fantasies really rub me the wrong way, pardon the pun. I have no time for it. Especially not in the climate we're living in tbh

I can't understand why anyone would be into rape fantasies but I guess there are a lot of sickos out there

 

[rlaflamme]

Thank you all for your responses. Sorry, I have been absent a couple days.


If you have a decent conversation going, then do not hear from that person in a while, do you look them up to see if they have been active on the boards at all?

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Thank you all for your responses. Sorry, I have been absent a couple days.


If you have a decent conversation going, then do not hear from that person in a while, do you look them up to see if they have been active on the boards at all?

Only if I had reason to worry about them, otherwise probably not...

 

[rlaflamme]

Is it because so many people say they want to have a conversation just to get a message and try to turn it into a cyber session that people actually looking to have a conversation have less of a chance of actually having one?

So many people here really just want a "helping hand" and disguise it as a thirst for conversation.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'd say that is not uncommon here (conversation as an opening gambit for cyber). Part of that of course is the nature of the board itself, part of that is the nature of the whole world of social media I think. People also use conversation as a screening tool (do I like this person, do I get along with them) to identify future cyber-partners. Some people cold-cyber, others have to have a relationship that is non-sexual first.

 

[rlaflamme]

Do you typically write a long hello on your first message to someone you are initiating the conversation with?

I know that generally I like to let someone know what drew my attention to them, sometimes the message is a bit lengthy and sometimes it is a simple line or two. When I reply to a message received it really seems to depend on the length of their introduction.

Do many of you do the same?

 

[rlaflamme]

A bit of a random thought for this morning: Do you think that some people avoid starting a conversation because they fear the let down when that conversation fades? Or, perhaps, they will not start one because they fear the rejection of the person they are thinking of talking to?

Does fear play that large of a role in our ability to talk even here in cyberland?

 

[Kittywilderness]

A bit of a random thought for this morning: Do you think that some people avoid starting a conversation because they fear the let down when that conversation fades? Or, perhaps, they will not start one because they fear the rejection of the person they are thinking of talking to?

Does fear play that large of a role in our ability to talk even here in cyberland?

Personally if someone doesn't message me for fear of being let down then they're not the type of person for me anyway. Jeez, honestly, what's the worst that can happen?You get ignored or told to fuck off? Take the hit and move on. I get that people might find it hard to approach someone face to face face, but online? Na, come on, grow a pair

 

[The_gladiator]

Do you typically write a long hello on your first message to someone you are initiating the conversation with?

I know that generally I like to let someone know what drew my attention to them, sometimes the message is a bit lengthy and sometimes it is a simple line or two. When I reply to a message received it really seems to depend on the length of their introduction.

Do many of you do the same?

I try to write lengthy intros but sometimes I wonder if I should really invest this much effort on someone who may never even reply, but I figure if I don't put in that effort they won't reply at all so it's a delicate balance. I think it's ver difficult to make yourself stand out to people that probably get dozens of messages a day. I have periods where I'm like there is only so many ways to say hey, wanna chat, though I try to never just say that.

 

[Kittywilderness]

I receive a lot and can say that the key is respect. I do like lengthy intros, its a good indicator that the person is interested in a conversation.

Oddly enough, the few times I reached out first I received no answers...only 1 actually.

Same here. Nothing wrong with lengthy but respect is paramount

 

[The_gladiator]

I receive a lot and can say that the key is respect. I do like lengthy intros, its a good indicator that the person is interested in a conversation.

Oddly enough, the few times I reached out first I received no answers...only 1 actually.

Not answering seems alien to me. If you or anyone sent me a message I certainly would reply. That's just me though. Then again I don't receive 100 pms a day unless I'm having a rapid fire conversation with someone

 

[rlaflamme]

Thank you all for your insights. This thread continues to make me happy with the information given and the opinions people bring to it.

 

[rlaflamme]

If you receive a message do you try to reply, even if it is something stating you are not interested?

 

[rlaflamme]

It I weird, sometimes I will get a flurry of messages and be really busy, but then, poof! A message here and there. It's kind of funny.

 

[BootieKittie]

If you receive a message do you try to reply, even if it is something stating you are not interested?

Sometimes i reply to politely decline other times i dont respond at all.