Why is it so hard..

[2wayroad]

…to find a guy who actually likes to fuck ass?

I find my fair share of guys who want their cock sucked, there are plenty out there. But to find a guy who truly wants to take the dominant position, to direct and control another willing man to be used for his pleasure.

Inexperienced pounding is fun, but not for 3 straight minutes then he’s done. A guy who wants me to do all the work will lose my interest.

Surely there are guys who are confident and controlling who want more than a blow job? Finding a guy who will actually top is rare. I’ve had a few good ones. The rest have been disappointing on one level or another. The worst are those who cum as soon as they try to push the head of their cock in.

So, come on guys, where are you?

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Lately I've heard the gay male community bemoans a scarcity of "tops."

I don't know what happened. In my heyday, a bottom was harder to find than a top.

If "lasting" is what you want, there are a lot of factors.

Generalization alert
And I'm afraid that if they really like fucking ass, and this is their first time fucking your ass, the likelihood is that they won't last long.
I dated an exception: super into me, first time fucking me; lasted a long time. But this was one among hundreds.
Something to note, he was legit bi. Not "I'm bi curious, but don't date women." He actually enjoyed fucking women and men.

Most of my long-term partners were bottoms, but I didn't last long and they seemed fine with that.

I dated one bottom that really liked to fuck me.
That was hot.
I still think about that some 20 years later.
He'd just mount me in the middle of the night and fuck me until we both came.

If you're a power bottom (sounds like you are), then there's no substitute for a power top. Both powers are rare and in high demand for each other.
Get ready to compete for those power tops.

Alternatively, you can try to find someone who likes to fuck ass and does a lot, but isn't picky about gender. The detached type, you're-just-an-object type.

 

[2wayroad]

You make a lot of good points. I think what I’m looking for is guy who truly enjoys the act of fucking. Power plow, pound, pull out and make me whine for him to be in me again, stuff like that.

Maybe a married guy in a sexless marriage is what I should find.

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Definitely communicate what you want too, covertly, if an open conversation ruins some of the magic for you... watch a porn with him that illustrates what you like.

 

[wetsawdust]

This is fascinating.
As a guy who doesn't know whether he is a top or a bottom (no experience yet), and who gets hit on A LOT on sniffles, not one guy I've met or hooked up with wanted to top, only bottom. Which is fine, but I'd like to try bottoming with someone I am comfortable with and know. But that's just me.
The plus side is, if I learn I'm a top, the world is my fuckin oyster!

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Definitely only try bottoming with someone you trust.
If you'd really like to enjoy it, practice with an ever-increasing sized dildo.
Use one until you feel comfortable.
The first time can be very uncomfortable—even traumatic if you do it cold turkey.

If you want someone to top you, just ask. I've gotten bottoms who said they never top to top me. I'm a libra, we like balance

https://cdn.sex.com/images/pinporn/2020/04/04/22819949.gif?width=620

 

[wetsawdust]

But *leans in and whispers*, I think I'm vers/bottom. I've done the fucking for so long, what I've been kinda craving all along was to be fucked. Of course, if I had a trusted partner who wanted me to top him, of course I would.

I started out only wanting to meet up with guys like me, married, fifty-ish, discreet. Problem is...I loooove making out. That seems to be an issue with most of the bi guys I've met or chatted with. So I mainly gravitate toward gay men because they have absolutely zero problem with sloppy kissing me after a bj.

I'm a Libra too.

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Of course, if I had a trusted partner who wanted me to top him

Did you mean: [if I had a trusted partner who wanted to top me]?

 

[wetsawdust]

Did you mean: [if I had a trusted partner who wanted to top me]?

No, I meant, if I was the bottom in the equation and I had a trusted partner who wanted me to top him, I would. I wasn't clear. I'm kinda stoned

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Oh, ok... makes sense now. I thought you were the one who wanted to get fucked is all.

 

[Britva415]

Maybe a married guy in a sexless marriage is what I should find.

An awful lot of these guys bottom.

 

[Britva415]

If you're a power bottom (sounds like you are), then there's no substitute for a power top

Isn't that a mis-match? Wouldn't a power-bottom prefer a passive top?

I mean, I consider myself a power bottom, but I have to admit I don't think I have experience with a power top. I can see how it could be fun but I can imagine even more how it could be a battle.

 

[FINLEYDIXON]

Maybe we just are using different terminology. I consider the power tops/bottoms to be able to go and go. I’d call what I think you are describing as dominant tops or dominant bottoms.

The way I was thinking of the powers wasn’t about control… but maybe I need to update my terms.

 

[2wayroad]

That’s it. I want to be dominated, once in a while at least. Though I don’t mind showing new guys, or those who dabble with men how it’s done, they are usually guilt ridden afterwards and want to split ways.

But, back on topic. Why are so many content to just get blown, but don’t want to experience the act of actually fucking. By that I mean being the active, insertive participant.

 

[ABiGuy84]

According to some studies, being in the top role is more stressful, more intimidating. That, and many guys think their size down there can never please a gay bottom. In the Gay World, for many Princesses, size is Everything.

 

[PFWilly]

…to find a guy who actually likes to fuck ass?

I find my fair share of guys who want their cock sucked, there are plenty out there. But to find a guy who truly wants to take the dominant position, to direct and control another willing man to be used for his pleasure.

Inexperienced pounding is fun, but not for 3 straight minutes then he’s done. A guy who wants me to do all the work will lose my interest.

Surely there are guys who are confident and controlling who want more than a blow job? Finding a guy who will actually top is rare. I’ve had a few good ones. The rest have been disappointing on one level or another. The worst are those who cum as soon as they try to push the head of their cock in.

So, come on guys, where are you?

Seems like, in my area around Seattle, there are several guys on Silverdaddies who much prefer to top another guy. I just like mutual oral, but indicate on my SD profile that I’d like to experiment receiving anal from a ‘patient teacher’. I get contacts fairly frequently based on my mild interest in getting fucked. It appears that if I really wanted to have a cock in my ass, it would be easy to arrange. Of the websites I inhabit, it seems as though there are fewer ghost riders on SD. YMMV.

 

[Arngrim]

Such an interesting thread with a variety of perspectives. My experience is very, very limited, but I believe I’m a true bi who is also a switch. Or would the term be versatile? A bi versatile switch… rolls right off the tongue.

All I know is, I’d have no problem topping someone. I’d actually prefer it over a blowjob. But I’d also have no problem bottoming. Different people have different tastes, and I like to be accommodating.

 

[klippert]

According to some studies, being in the top role is more stressful, more intimidating. That, and many guys think their size down there can never please a gay bottom. In the Gay World, for many Princesses, size is Everything.

being a Top is about attitude not size. if its size the bottom is looking for he's a "Size Queen". As a Married Bi Top. I'm not about the bottoms pleasure. That's not why I'm there. If you're a bottom, you should know your purpose.. it about my pleasure. I don't know about studies... take that with a grain of salt. As a top.. I can fuck a guy every half hour if I want. My buddy, he's 90% bottom.. he's married too. The reason there are to many bottoms. Gay lifestyle has become to feminize and infiltrated by the guys with tits..

 

[FeelingLikeMyself]

…to find a guy who actually likes to fuck ass?

I find my fair share of guys who want their cock sucked, there are plenty out there. But to find a guy who truly wants to take the dominant position, to direct and control another willing man to be used for his pleasure.

Inexperienced pounding is fun, but not for 3 straight minutes then he’s done. A guy who wants me to do all the work will lose my interest.

Surely there are guys who are confident and controlling who want more than a blow job? Finding a guy who will actually top is rare. I’ve had a few good ones. The rest have been disappointing on one level or another. The worst are those who cum as soon as they try to push the head of their cock in.

So, come on guys, where are you?

I don't mind topping, but I prefer to be in heels and hose and makeup while I do it.

 

[klippert]

I don't mind topping, but I prefer to be in heels and hose and makeup while I do it.

you don't mind.. are you a top or just verse. looks to me, you may be a Cross-dress motel slut ..

 

[FeelingLikeMyself]

you don't mind.. are you a top or just verse. looks to me, you may be a Cross-dress motel slut ..

I'm a crossdressing, bottom leaning versatile. If I'm topping, me getting to suck you dry at some point is my toll. If I can't get fucked, I'm definitely going to have some lunch...

 

[FeelingLikeMyself]

you don't mind.. are you a top or just verse. looks to me, you may be a Cross-dress motel slut ..

Thanks for the motel slut compliment, BTW. Turns out looking like a slut comes naturally to me.

 

[2wayroad]

being a Top is about attitude not size. if its size the bottom is looking for he's a "Size Queen". As a Married Bi Top. I'm not about the bottoms pleasure. That's not why I'm there. If you're a bottom, you should know your purpose.. it about my pleasure. I don't know about studies... take that with a grain of salt. As a top.. I can fuck a guy every half hour if I want. My buddy, he's 90% bottom.. he's married too. The reason there are to many bottoms. Gay lifestyle has become to feminize and infiltrated by the guys with tits..

Agreed on many points. If a guy can get good and hard, and he knows what he’s doing, the size of his cock doesn’t matter all that much. Yeah, you can be too big or too small, at least that’s my experience.

And I’m masculine, not trying to be a girl. I could have made a good crossdresser in my younger, skinny days. But I don’t care if the top is fem, a crossdresser or a TS. But, I do most prefer an alpha, masculine, assertive, take charge guy.

I tried with a fem top once, he was assertive even though he was very feminine in his speech and actions. But he had a huge cock, little patience and a bitchy attitude. He was too big to get in, trying to push it in as fast as he could.

 

[ABiGuy84]

being a Top is about attitude not size. if its size the bottom is looking for he's a "Size Queen". As a Married Bi Top. I'm not about the bottoms pleasure. That's not why I'm there. If you're a bottom, you should know your purpose.. it about my pleasure. I don't know about studies... take that with a grain of salt. As a top.. I can fuck a guy every half hour if I want. My buddy, he's 90% bottom.. he's married too. The reason there are to many bottoms. Gay lifestyle has become to feminize and infiltrated by the guys with tits..

Are you seriously saying The Gay community doesn't have a Size Fetish Problem?

 

[Escierto]

My trans girlfriend is a pure top who loves to fuck. She likes to get sucked too but she likes to pound my ass. She has a nice big cock too even though she is a small delicate woman.