Thank you, all you stay at home Mom's and Dad's.

[Merelan]

My friend just called me crying. She has a Masters dgree in Business management, but has opted to stay home with their three children and raise her family herself. Sigh....

I support her 1000%!!!! But seem to be one of a few that do. Her family, and her husband's, think she is wasting her time and career on it. That there are many great day care centers that would be wonderful for the children. And that way they could afford a house, a better car, take their children to Disney World and all that. God Freaking Damn!!!!!
I hate them, hate them for not seeing she is struggling with this already. Hard for her to only associate with the kids day after day. Stay at home motherhood is the hardest job there can be. I couldn't do it. Honestly, I couldn't. She looks at what other family members have and do and wonders if she should be working. She does work for me part time, mainly to get her out a couple nights a week.Akkkkk.... I want to slap them all.
She feels maybe she is denying her kids things they need. I told her no. She is giving them more then can ever be measured in money and crap.

They aren't broke. They live in a flat, yes, they are renting, but looking for a nice house they can afford. Sure there cars are older. Both within ten years. They run fine. Why is it people, especially family members can't shut up and hold back when they disagree with you. She has repeatedly asked them not to discuss this with her and her husband, especially in front of the kids. But no, during the Thanksgiving meal, with all the family around, and the kids, off they go. Her husband put up with it for a few minutes and then politely asked them to change the subject. When they wouldn't. They finished up quickly and then left. Letting the family know they would not be attending Sundays dinner and why. I stuck up for their decision. My feeling is to hell with them. I think they are doing what is right and best.

Sorry, had to vent. Feel better now. Thank you.

And thank you to all you stay at home mothers and fathers.

 

[Chuckus]

Yes, I agree. Thanks to my mother who stayed at home and was at home whenever I was growing up. That was cool and it meant the world to me. Thanks mom.

Thanks for the idea Merelan and thread.

 

[*bratcat*]

I went back to school and work

 

[Cheyenne]

I had the best of both worlds. My mom worked for a short time when I was very young and before the rest of the family was born. My grandma took care of me during that time, and even though I was so young, I remember spending time with her then. Later, my mom found a work-at-home job that she could do at weird hours of the day or night. It paid for some of the things that my parents couldn't have afforded without the extra income- braces for a sibling's teeth, for example. But mom was a stay at home mom in my eyes. She was always there when we needed her.

It sounds strange to hear someone being given a hard time for NOT working and choosing to stay home with her kids. My relatives are the opposite- the women who work rather than stay home with the kids have to "justify" this decision at family get-togethers. It dies down after the kids are a few years old, though. Neither option guarantees great kids, or a great family. There are lots more variables than whether mom is home or not.

On a practical note, I know there is a group in the area where I live specifically for these stay at home women who were formerly business women. The members chose to stay home and raise their kids. They get togther not only for play time for their kids, but for keeping their brains alive talking to women with similar backgrounds. I can't remember the name of the group at the moment, and I'm not sure if it national or just started as a grass roots kind of thing here. But it is a great idea!

 

[Saturn Return]

I have a daughter whom I’ve home schooled for years now.
My *real* job is raising her.

My husband and myself run a freelance web Design Company.
It’s totally possible to be home and with your children all the while still bringing in income and resources into he home.

I love working…being apart of the rest of society, but being home is a major priority to me.
I do work out of the house 16 hours a week, but only while my husband is home with her.

I’ve never put my daughter in daycare..
I’ve never left her with a babysitter.
I’m not going to leave her home alone for 5 minutes until she is 14.
I’m so completely here.

I feel bad when women feel they are doing the right thing for their children and then are made to feel lesser for it.

On the flip side..
Women who choose/have to work and put their children in daycare are in no way doing lesser job...and they often get looked down upon..as well.

It's doing what you feel is best that is important...and in either case..no one should be telling you otherwise.

 

[registered "^^"]

Most important job in the world.......raising children.

 

[Blackbich]

Merelan,

Your friend needs to do what she's comfortable with. If she wants to stay home with her children, then she should do that. As far as what she could be providing for her children if she worked - there are far more important things to children besides THINGS. When will people realize that? Some of our happiest times when I was a kid was when we had nothing because Mom spent QUALITY time with us. When will people realize that's what children really need? I have a friend who was a stay at home mom but her kids spent most of their time in the back bedroom watching TV; she didn't want to be bothered. She spends more QUALITY time with them now that she works than she did when she was home.

If your friend wants this time to be with her children then damn what anyone else says - tell her to stick to her guns. She won't be able to have this time to do it again.

 

[Gilly Bean]

Wow, that sucks.

My family has always been the exact oppisite. We don't have much money, and have to borrow once in a while, but overall, we make ends meet. Barely. Yet, every time I talk about getting a job, and finding daycare for the kids, my husband tells me not to worry about it, that he would rather I stay home with the kids, and that we will make ends meet. Even if he has to get another job. Now, one point he has, is that he would be able to get a better paying 2nd job, then what I would. He is completly supportive of me staying with the kids, and my parents like that they don't ave to worry about who is watching the kids.

 

[Weird Harold]

It’s totally possible to be home and with your children all the while still bringing in income and resources into he home.

My eldest daughter is an Avon Lady and has several friends who are Tupperware Ladies or other similar sales ladies. All of them chose these types of jobs because it allows them to be stay-at-home mothers and still make needed additions to the family income. It also allows my daughter time to volunteer at my granddaughter's school and be an active part of the PTSO/PTA.

Every mother and every family situation is unique. Iapplaud all mothers who are doing the best they can for their children within the limits of fanancial status and family/peer pressure.