Wife with another lover and you've agreed to it: Would she want you there? Next room? Away?

My wife had permission to be with other lovers, one time only with each man. With one exception, either she was in another city at a convention or I was out of town on business travel. So we were not in the same town when it happened. With the one exception, we were at a lake house and she told me to stay on the dock while they went up to the cottage and had sex. I did as she asked.
 
I agree. I’m able to watch my wife with her current lover. But I know there will be more men ( hopefully sooner than later). And I know for at least the first time with a new man, she s going to want total privacy. So that means either his place, I get them a hotel room or our place and I step out for the evening. And I understand that I may never get the opportunity to watch her again.
Makes sense. Whatever works for you. It wouldn't for me TBH.
 
Well, I like this thread. I hope it's ok for a 'wife' to answer?

Here is the question:

She's going to have sex with another guy. She doesn't want the guys playing with each other, it's all about her. Does she want:

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation - definitely my choice. Steve loves being there, watching first, then joining in later when I have had time to play and enjoy myself with the other man or men.
 
My wife knows she could, and reserves the right, but has never had serious interest in it.

I'm going to ask her this question but I'm also curious what other women would want or what guys think their wives would want.

Here is the question:

She's going to have sex with another guy. She doesn't want the guys playing with each other, it's all about her. Does she want:

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation


I'm going to guess my wife's answer. I think it will be a "it depends". #1 wouldn't happen unless she knew the guy extremely well. I doubt she'd want #2 or #3 because she'd find that distracting and a little cruel to me. I think she'll say #4.
Always alone - we love chatting about it.
 
My wife had permission to be with other lovers, one time only with each man. With one exception, either she was in another city at a convention or I was out of town on business travel. So we were not in the same town when it happened. With the one exception, we were at a lake house and she told me to stay on the dock while they went up to the cottage and had sex. I did as she asked.
Wow! Are you sexually active with her?
 
Recently (a week ago today), had the first opportunity to make this real. I offered #1 and wife was ok with it, but lover wanted me there (for the first time). I was prepared that at some point I'd end up #2 BUT we ended up with #4 (first) and then she finished with #3.

To say it was HOT is the understatement of the millennium! I have NEVER seen my wife look so amazingly beautiful. She was in total control as she road his cock to the only orgasm she has ever had with another man (she's 58).

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation
 
My wife knows she could, and reserves the right, but has never had serious interest in it.

I'm going to ask her this question but I'm also curious what other women would want or what guys think their wives would want.

Here is the question:

She's going to have sex with another guy. She doesn't want the guys playing with each other, it's all about her. Does she want:

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation


I'm going to guess my wife's answer. I think it will be a "it depends". #1 wouldn't happen unless she knew the guy extremely well. I doubt she'd want #2 or #3 because she'd find that distracting and a little cruel to me. I think she'll say #4.
When my wife and I first had a 'serious' discussion about her having sex with another man, the first thing she told me was that she did not want me there to watch. She felt that giving her my blessing, was weird enough, but she couldn't do it, with me there watching. I'm pretty sure that she would feel somewhat inhibited to express her lust and wanton desire with me close by. As part of our agreement, she could have sex with an old H.S. boyfriend, but would have to come home and tell me ALL about it. That has worked out very well, for the three of us.
 
Recently (a week ago today), had the first opportunity to make this real. I offered #1 and wife was ok with it, but lover wanted me there (for the first time). I was prepared that at some point I'd end up #2 BUT we ended up with #4 (first) and then she finished with #3.

To say it was HOT is the understatement of the millennium! I have NEVER seen my wife look so amazingly beautiful. She was in total control as she road his cock to the only orgasm she has ever had with another man (she's 58).

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation
it is great seeing a post from the man perspective.
 
From past experience I think my wife would opt for #4 I left her alone with another man and took his wife to a separate room and I really think it's one of the reasons she doesn't want to swap or play with others anymore.
She called out to me and I didn't respond, totally stupid on my part.
This happened 30 plus years ago, I was young, immature and his huge cock was probably the reason I figured she wanted to be alone with him.
If she was being truthful years later she said she hated being fucked by a mechanical bull she wanted a lover and he definitely wasn't that.

My mistake completely and she hasn't given me another opportunity for us to participate as a couple. That ended our swapping days.
Now if given the chance I would do anything she wanted me to.
 
In my fantasy I definitely want to be there and maybe even participate! But that’s my fantasy, according to her she doesn’t have any fantasies
 
My wife knows she could, and reserves the right, but has never had serious interest in it.

I'm going to ask her this question but I'm also curious what other women would want or what guys think their wives would want.

Here is the question:

She's going to have sex with another guy. She doesn't want the guys playing with each other, it's all about her. Does she want:

1. To be alone with the guy

2. Have you in another room, listening

3. Have you in the same room, watching

4. Have you in the same room and on the bed, helping them, in either a supportive role or full participation


I'm going to guess my wife's answer. I think it will be a "it depends". #1 wouldn't happen unless she knew the guy extremely well. I doubt she'd want #2 or #3 because she'd find that distracting and a little cruel to me. I think she'll say #4.
Most likely doesn't want me there or like most be involved with the other guy together.

If I am not there I would want to hear every hot detail later but for me mostly likely I would like to be present watching and listening. There is something hot erotic about just being the voyeur..
 
As a woman I can confirm a wife or lover would make such a statement BUT she most likely has treasures fantasies that she is not com
As a woman I can confirm a wife or lover would make such a statement BUT she most likely has treasures fantasies that she is not comfortable speaking about.
Why do women do that? I lay everything out there I go as far as telling her mine and acknowledging that I know she likes women and I am ok if she wants to pursue that. Why keep it tucked away?
fortable speaking
 
We've had 2 different types of sexual adventures over the years

The first we did with one couple. Same room, different rooms, different houses listening on the phone, 3 somes, 4 somes..basically you name it. (all this was with one cpl, years and years' worth.

The second was our brief adventures swinging. It was all separate bedrooms. I was with their wife they were with mine. Although I never saw her in action, I heard very clearly what she was doing in the other bedroom. Still, some of my favorite jerk off material
 
In my fantasy I definitely want to be there and maybe even participate! But that’s my fantasy, according to her she doesn’t have any fantasies
I just wonder how it would affect her happiness if she could or would have a new lover with anyone she wants. Would she be happier and more satisfied? Maybe even more caring towards me and even herself?
 
Great question. My answer is 1 - To be alone with the guy.

I answer it this way, as this would be her first time doing it, so is the goal for her to enjoy it or me?

If it was for me, then I could not truly enjoy it if I knew she did not like it. I would never ask her to wear an outfit if she did not find it comfortable, so why have her do this if she did not want to do it?

For me, being in the room would be great as I am as curious to how the other man undresses her as I am on her response when he penetrates her that first time. The vulnerability and discovery of that first time naked is very powerful to me. I have not been with a ton of women, but to this day I still vividly recall that first time seeing them naked.

I would need to like and trust the other man, as they would be alone. I would simply ask him to share every detail afterwards, as I know all my questions would drive my wife nuts. ;-)

Yes, I find her sexier knowing other men want her, but I do not want her to only do it just for me. I want her to feel sexier and more desirable before and after she leaves his room.
 
She would like #4, me and another to fuck and suck simultaneously. But she would probably be ok with #1, an affair with another guy then tell me about it later.

I would settle for #3, maybe #2, but I would be stroking.
 
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