Seeking advise and feedback on a complicated situation?

Just read a story the other day about an older guy in upstate New York who met a woman on line and set up times to meet with him and always came up with an excuse. The guy was pretty lonely and he put up with the excuses. Eventually he died and his adult kids went through his records and discovered that over the years he sent this “woman” about $48,000. Romance scams are pretty common and end up costing seniors billions of dollars a year. And you see them everywhere. On instagram I get messages all the time, usually young pretty Asian women who want to meet for lunch or have a crypto deal to invest in. Profile shows lavish spending, exotic cars, etc. Sometimes I’ll check their profile and it usually changes from a woman to a man in less than a year.

If they send a photo, you can do a google image search and it’s usually some obscure Asian model’s picture. They can be very convincing though.

The point is, you can never fully trust anyone you meet on the internet and not in person. Never trust them enough to fall in love or send them money.

Stay safe out there people.
 
Stories like this are why I would never get involved with a strictly online-only distance relationship. If the person on the other end cannot, or chooses not to, meet up in person relatively early on, then I'm not interested- in fact I would consider it a red flag, honestly.

If I am chatting online with a potential romantic interest, then I want to meet up in person- preferably a mellow first date in public at a coffee shop or quiet bar- after a few exchanges. Chatting for months on end with no meet-up in sight is a waste of time to me- I want to hear her voice, see her face, interact with her in real time. Otherwise, it could be simply that I'm falling in love with a mere image on a screen- and there's no telling who is on the other end of those messages (for all I know it could be someone living in Russia, and/or of a completely different gender than they pretend to be.)

There are just too many dating-site scammers and cat-fishers these days.
 
Sometimes there are reasons not to meet up immediately like them being on another continent, medical , financial, bereavement, logistics and so on. That doesn’t mean you can’t get to know them, find out their real, chat on the phone, do video calls, know exactly where each other is, linked in, Facebook and such until such time as you can meet.
The original Poster’s person sounds off though.
 
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