Today I am a klutz because…

Today I was a klutz because I got out of bed. Anyone else perpetually knocking into things, tripping and or ending up with unexplained bruises? Gracefulness is not my forte.
 
I'd played in the shower this morning, but lost track of time before the husband woke up. (I hide my play to avoid the emotional response with no follow-through that accompanies our discussions.) Anyway, I quickly grabbed my dildo to keep it from being seen when I heard the door open, but instead of just moving it to the back of the shower out of sight, I dropped it and it hit the faucet just wrong, turning the shower head off before I was actually finished, and then bounced back toward the more visible end of the tub...

"You okay in there?" 🤦‍♀️🙄
 
Went to sit the morning coffee on the bed of the truck. Missed the whole damn truck.
 
I'd played in the shower this morning, but lost track of time before the husband woke up. (I hide my play to avoid the emotional response with no follow-through that accompanies our discussions.) Anyway, I quickly grabbed my dildo to keep it from being seen when I heard the door open, but instead of just moving it to the back of the shower out of sight, I dropped it and it hit the faucet just wrong, turning the shower head off before I was actually finished, and then bounced back toward the more visible end of the tub...

"You okay in there?" 🤦‍♀️🙄
Sudden shock!
 
I walked from the ladies room back to my table at the restaurant with my dress tucked into the back of my knickers 🙄
Reminds me of a coworker.
She was the type you couldn’t say ANYTHING too. She filed complaints about anything and everyone.
One night I was working with her and couple other guys. She goes to the restroom. Comes back and has toilet donut hanging out the back of her pants. I walked in the office where the 2 guys were. I was trying to figure out how to tell them. One blurts out.
Did you see her wearing the ass gasket? The other guy laughed. Then we discussed who/ how we are going to tell her. They tried to lay it off on me to tell her. Nope. I’m not going to get a harassment complaint filed on me. Do we didn’t say anything. Like 15 minutes later time to go home. She’s walking out ahead of us. Another employee she liked told her. She looks at us. I’m not looking. I’m talking with one of the guys. Next day. One of the guys tells a supervisor. The supervisor called us assholes. I told her would you rather call us assholes or deal with harassment complaint?
 
Not technically today but last night before bed

After a really long day, I was mentally exhausted when I finally went to bed. I brushed my teeth and grabbed the flosser. I wasn’t really focusing on what I was doing and ended up pressing the on switch before I put it in my mouth. The jet of water hit me straight in the face and shocked me so much that the hand holding the flosser went into panic mode, waving around uncontrollably and sending jets of water all over the bathroom
 
Not technically today but last night before bed

After a really long day, I was mentally exhausted when I finally went to bed. I brushed my teeth and grabbed the flosser. I wasn’t really focusing on what I was doing and ended up pressing the on switch before I put it in my mouth. The jet of water hit me straight in the face and shocked me so much that the hand holding the flosser went into panic mode, waving around uncontrollably and sending jets of water all over the bathroom
Oh you like the sending of jets
 
Not technically today but last night before bed

After a really long day, I was mentally exhausted when I finally went to bed. I brushed my teeth and grabbed the flosser. I wasn’t really focusing on what I was doing and ended up pressing the on switch before I put it in my mouth. The jet of water hit me straight in the face and shocked me so much that the hand holding the flosser went into panic mode, waving around uncontrollably and sending jets of water all over the bathroom
So today's lesson is, make sure you have it gripped firmly in your hand and aimed properly before those jets are released.
 
Last night, making coffee. The filter thingy with the coffee grinds in it goes into the machine and then you pull the handle and it turns and twists the filter up against the part where the water comes out. So I didn’t lock it in hard enough, when I turned the machine on the vibration just twisted the filter out and then hot water and wet coffee went all over the floor and table surface, big mess.

I don’t feel too bad because I haven’t posted here for a while so my klutzo meter is fairly low currently 😁
 
Reset the clock 😡

Water in pot on the stove, heat on. Salt thingy in my hand, shake shake shit!!! Salt thingy ends up in a pot of hot (not yet boiling) water ugh!!
 
I've told my wife many times that she could walk through an empty room and run into something.
 
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