The "You've been kidnapped" writing prompt

[SimonDoom]

"Bash them babies' brains out," I'd post back to you. Confused you'd come around so quickly to my suggestion. Perhaps, over the next hour or so, I'd realize that's not like him.

Now, now, Millie. If you could not pick up instantly that I was sending a signal, then you don't know me well at all.

 

[SimonDoom]

I just finished my twentieth reading of Finnegans Wake. I still can't find any meaning in it.

Hmmm. You know what they say about the definition of craziness.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Hmmm. You know what they say about the definition of craziness.

You do understand the context of these remarks: what would you say that would alert your friends to the fact that something was wrong. By the way, I do re-read all or parts of Finnegans Wake every year and always find more in it. So, if I said I didn't, my friends would know there's something wrong.

 

[SimonDoom]

You do understand the context of these remarks: what would you say that would alert your friends to the fact that something was wrong. By the way, I do re-read all or parts of Finnegans Wake every year and always find more in it. So, if I said I didn't, my friends would know there's something wrong.

I do! I got my threads mixed up, hence the confusion.

 

[Bamagan]

I'm gonna feel a bit embarrassed if the OP has been kidnapped and starting this thread was their plea for help.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'd say something positive.

 

[MillieDynamite]

No, I'd been working hard to get you to let loose and enjoy a darker side and thought I'd gotten through to your inner demon, but no, you're just in fucking trouble again.

Now, now, Millie. If you could not pick up instantly that I was sending a signal, then you don't know me well at all.

 

[TxRad]

Don't pay the fucking ransom. I escaped.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Huh, this is the first useful application of social networks that I've seen...
Great job, you should be hired by Twitter or Facebook

 

[bettiezyx]

I'm gonna feel a bit embarrassed if the OP has been kidnapped and starting this thread was their plea for help.

OP's realization was that there was nothing she could post to signal a problem. Only way anyone would notice a problem would be the lack of any posts. That's why this challenge made me laugh so hard!

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I can imagine my family's response to the ransom demand. "You expect us to pay full retail? Come on, what's your rock bottom offer?"

Thought I'd throw in a Jew stereotype for you guys.

 

[DickandDoof]

I can imagine my family's response to the ransom demand. "You expect us to pay full retail? Come on, what's your rock bottom offer?"

Thought I'd throw in a Jew stereotype for you guys.

Is there such a thing as Messianic Jewish stereotypes? Or do all members of our tribe share the same stereotypes?

 

[MillieDynamite]

To white supremestists, all Jews are Jews, subhuman. All Catholics are catholic and subhuman. All blacks are apes to them.

Is there such a thing as Messianic Jewish stereotypes? Or do all members of our tribe share the same stereotypes?

 

[bettiezyx]

How do you end a thread that has been taken over by 8chan?

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I'm a poor black man. Unless its the cops, I'm immune to kidnappings.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Is there such a thing as Messianic Jewish stereotypes? Or do all members of our tribe share the same stereotypes?

Most members of Messianic Judaism were either born into the sect or Jews who have migrated. We're still Jews, still hated because we are the great Satan of the world to those who hate us. Accepting Christ makes us no less scum to white supremacists or others than changing clothes or marrying a white makes a black less black to them.

 

[DickandDoof]

Most members of Messianic Judaism were either born into the sect or Jews who have migrated. We're still Jews, still hated because we are the great Satan of the world to those who hate us. Accepting Christ makes us no less scum to white supremacists or others than changing clothes or marrying a white makes a black less black to them.

I had a very good friend for many years who was born into traditional Judaism but married a Messianic Jewish woman and converted. He always struck me as more Jewish than Messianic — I never heard him once mention Jesus. But he made great potato latkes on Hanukkah.

 

[AchtungNight]

I had a very good friend for many years who was born into traditional Judaism but married a Messianic Jewish woman and converted. He always struck me as more Jewish than Messianic — I never heard him once mention Jesus. But he made great potato latkes on Hanukkah.

My favorite ethnic Jews are people who don’t follow the religion. I don’t hold it against them.

 

[CyranoJ]

I saw the funniest writing prompt this morning, and wanted to share (assuming it's as new to y'all as to me):
"You've been kidnapped. Your kidnappers allow you to keep posting on social media to pretend everything is alright. What would you post that would alarm your followers, without the kidnappers knowing you're asking for help?"
What's is your response?

"On reflection, I haven't been entirely fair to Jordan B. Peterson. That guy is actually a really interesting thinker."

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I had a very good friend for many years who was born into traditional Judaism but married a Messianic Jewish woman and converted. He always struck me as more Jewish than Messianic — I never heard him once mention Jesus. But he made great potato latkes on Hanukkah.

What about Yoshke or Yeshua?

 

[DickandDoof]

Nope. Not even Yeshu. I went to Hebrew school so I know most of Jesus’ nicknames. Did you know that Jews claim that Isaac was an immaculate conception? Yup, Ishmael was a normal birth courtesy of Hagar, but Yitzhak was an immaculate conception. Just read that a few days ago. I’m surprised Muslims haven’t made the same claim for Mohammed.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Nope. Not even Yeshu. I went to Hebrew school so I know most of Jesus’ nicknames. Did you know that Jews claim that Isaac was an immaculate conception? Yup, Ishmael was a normal birth courtesy of Hagar, but Yitzhak was an immaculate conception. Just read that a few days ago. I’m surprised Muslims haven’t made the same claim for Mohammed.

Seriously, you have to ask? But actually, it was Philo and Paul who claimed that Isaac was born from a divine conception. I was never taught it at my synagogue. It is more likely that G*D made it possible for her to conceive.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Is it time for some gratuitous violence and sex--yet?

 

[djrip]

Nope. Not even Yeshu. I went to Hebrew school so I know most of Jesus’ nicknames. Did you know that Jews claim that Isaac was an immaculate conception? Yup, Ishmael was a normal birth courtesy of Hagar, but Yitzhak was an immaculate conception. Just read that a few days ago. I’m surprised Muslims haven’t made the same claim for Mohammed.

Pythagoras as well, from what I understand. And maybe Alexander. Basically anyone who was anyone around the Mediterranean back in the day just sprang into being in their mothers' wombs.

 

[DickandDoof]

Is it time for some gratuitous violence and sex--yet?

I’m ready for some gratuitous sex. I pretty much always am.