The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[voluptuary_manque]

And get a crowd of old '60's kids all grooving on your front lawn.

I put in a bouquet of orchids.

 

[Gizzmotick]

I put in a bouquet of orchids.

And get out a swarm of beatiful butterflies.

I put in all my old cords and useless cables that I've accumulated.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And get out a swarm of beatiful butterflies.

I put in all my old cords and useless cables that I've accumulated.

And get Robie the Robot.


I put in an old jar of all the left over screws, nuts and bolts I've got.

 

[TE999]

And get Robie the Robot.


I put in an old jar of all the left over screws, nuts and bolts I've got.

And you get back a copy of 'Family Handyman' magazine.

I put in a faded beach towel...

 

[Emperor_Nero]

And you get back a copy of 'Family Handyman' magazine.

I put in a faded beach towel...

... and you get back a series of faded memories

I put in a delicious chocolate cake ...

 

[Guest]

... and you get back a series of faded memories

I put in a delicious chocolate cake ...

And get a chocolate-smeared smile.

I put in my old Lexmark printers. All of 'em.

 

[midwestyankee]

And get a chocolate-smeared smile.

I put in my old Lexmark printers. All of 'em.

And I got out a vinyl Lex Luther action figure.

I put in a Jane Fonda exercise LP (yep, vinyl ).

 

[cloudy]

And I got out a vinyl Lex Luther action figure.

I put in a Jane Fonda exercise LP (yep, vinyl ).

and you get the Barbarella outfit.

I put in a bunch of wrestling dvds.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And I got out a vinyl Lex Luther action figure.

I put in a Jane Fonda exercise LP (yep, vinyl ).

And get back a spandex, sparkle-covered exercise suit.

I put in a one-year membership to a gym.

 

[Emperor_Nero]

and you get the Barbarella outfit.

I put in a bunch of wrestling dvds.

And get back a spandex, sparkle-covered exercise suit.

I put in a one-year membership to a gym.

And you both get back a copy of "Steroids for Dummy's"

I put in half a box of Raisin Bran...

 

[midwestyankee]

And you both get back a copy of "Steroids for Dummy's"

I put in half a box of Raisin Bran...

And you get back a clogged toilet.

I put in a gross of condoms, all flavored strawberry.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And you both get back a copy of "Steroids for Dummy's"

I put in half a box of Raisin Bran...

and get back the other half.


I put in a three-course breakfast with fruit compote, eggs benedict and strawberry crepes.

 

[Corylea]

and get back the other half.


I put in a three-course breakfast with fruit compote, eggs benedict and strawberry crepes.

You get me showing up at your house for breakfast.

I put in a bunch of old venetian blinds.

 

[Emperor_Nero]

You get me showing up at your house for breakfast.

I put in a bunch of old venetian blinds.

You get back a bunch of blind old Venetians

I put in a ticket stub to the last movie I went to ...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

You get back a bunch of blind old Venetians

I put in a ticket stub to the last movie I went to ...

And you get a video of me fixing breakfast for Corylea . . . with a leer on my face!

I put in a pile of dirty dishes.

 

[Emperor_Nero]

And you get a video of me fixing breakfast for Corylea . . . with a leer on my face!

I put in a pile of dirty dishes.

You get back a broken dishwasher

I put in a nice soft pillow...

 

[TE999]

And you get a video of me fixing breakfast for Corylea . . . with a leer on my face!

I put in a pile of dirty dishes.

And you get back an ol' houn' dawg to lick 'em clean.

I put in a 1/2 bottle of Hires Root beer...

Hey! Where'd you come from?

 

[Gizzmotick]

You get back a broken dishwasher

I put in a nice soft pillow...

And you get back an ol' houn' dawg to lick 'em clean.

I put in a 1/2 bottle of Hires Root beer...

And you both get back an oversized root-beer float... with extra foam.

I put in my old Minolta camera.

 

[TE999]

And you both get back an oversized root-beer float... with extra foam.

I put in my old Minolta camera.

And you get back a book of Ansel Adams photos.

I put in this POS cell phone of mine...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And you get back a book of Ansel Adams photos.

I put in this POS cell phone of mine...

And get back a humongous phone bill.


I put in a gallon of rich, well-rotted compost.

 

[JagFarlane]

And get back a humongous phone bill.


I put in a gallon of rich, well-rotted compost.

And get back a gallon of fresh tomatoes


I put in the worn out wheel bearing from my car

 

[TE999]

And get back a gallon of fresh tomatoes


I put in the worn out wheel bearing from my car

And you get back a guest appearance on 'Car Talk' with the Tappet Bros.

I put in a fistful of carnival ride tickets...

 

[JagFarlane]

And you get back a guest appearance on 'Car Talk' with the Tappet Bros.

I put in a fistful of carnival ride tickets...

And get back a dvd of "universal yummy" scenes

I put in the stack of books that I haven't read in years

 

[TE999]

And get back a dvd of "universal yummy" scenes

I put in the stack of books that I haven't read in years

And you get back a herd of hungry bookworms.

I put in a bag of trail mix...

 

[JagFarlane]

And you get back a herd of hungry bookworms.

I put in a bag of trail mix...

And get back a group of yuppies dressed in Eddie Bauer hiking gear

I put in a roll of bondage tape