Taskmaster

[RosewoodTulip]

Things have been different lately with Daddy and I too.
I've had a run of crap luck with my physical and mental health over the last few months. Haven't felt very subby and my libido is just dying embers instead of the roaring fire it once was.
I feel so incredibly guilty that I can't be there for him in the way I want and that he needs and I'm trying so hard to get back to where I want to be.
He has been so supportive and understanding throughout which is wonderful but I can't help but worry that he'd be happier with someone who isn't as broken.
How can I be what he needs when I can barely get through a day without feeling terrible?

 

[Alancaster78]

I think that maybe you're seeing the change as being something negative. Something that you've lost perhaps.
Maybe that's not the case.

It's so clear how much you value and need each other. Yes circumstances have meant that the dynamic may have changed but you still have each other and if he's still with you, even after the changes, then that's because he wants to be and wants you, and if he can't say it then his actions show it.

Life never seems to go the way we expect it to but that's no reason why things should stop completely for you both.
Enjoy the moments you do get together and try not to overthink too much (that's rich coming from me I know)

Agreed!

Don’t sweat the small stuff. The most important thing is that you still care and love each other as D/s.

Perhaps later in the year, there will be a shift in work/timing that does indeed make you both more available for one another.

Remain in contact and be patient!

xx

 

[Saltfountain]

Hello my fabulous people.
I have decided that I’d kick things off with a question:

how do you navigate life/circumstances changing to the point where you’re unable to continue your Dom/sub dynamic?

For context
- He’s still incredibly important to me and I’d love for him to be able to say that too (he has valid reasons for being unable to)
- We’re both time poor and I’m unable to complete tasks in a way that won’t affect my home or professional life
- I want to feel like I’m serving him in some way. He seems to enjoy seeing my pics getting attention.
- Obviously we’re in different time zones
- I am still his submissive. I’m almost scared to not be

I saw this when you posted, but know I have a tendency to jump in and often dominate (pun intended ) discussions

I'd say that unless he's telling you he's unhappy with how things are, or how they are now life has lifed, then he's OK, and just happy that you're managing to (or trying to) adapt to the situation and find a way that works for you both...

As for not being able to continue your Dom/sub dynamic, are you meanung at all, or just in a sexual or time intensive way?

My take has always been that a Dom is there for his sub in the ways that she needs at the time. I once knew a sub online whose everyday life was chaotic and in a mess and overwhelmed her. I ended up being a dom who helped her make sense of the chaos, and helped her prioritise and bring her life in order. She needed that authority figure to focus her, but there was never any sexual aspect to it

 

[Saltfountain]

How can I be what he needs when I can barely get through a day without feeling terrible?

I'd say the answer would be more in that you have a DD/lg relationship.

If you were master/slave, then you would exist to please and serve. With a Daddy/little, then a lot of his pleasure derives from protecting you, and caring for you, and making sure you're OK. It's much more of a two way relationship. The little exists to please her Daddy, and Daddy's priority is the welfare and happiness of his little.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I'd say the answer would be more in that you have a DD/lg relationship.

If you were master/slave, then you would exist to please and serve. With a Daddy/little, then a lot of his pleasure derives from protecting you, and caring for you, and making sure you're OK. It's much more of a two way relationship. The little exists to please her Daddy, and Daddy's priority is the welfare and happiness of his little.

That makes a lot of sense and is very helpful, thank you.

I guess I see myself as being the girl who is there for everyone else. It's hard when I can't do that. I place a lot of self value on what I can do for others so then feel tremendous guilt if I'm the one in need.

 

[Saltfountain]

That makes a lot of sense and is very helpful, thank you.

I guess I see myself as being the girl who is there for everyone else. It's hard when I can't do that. I place a lot of self value on what I can do for others so then feel tremendous guilt if I'm the one in need.

I totally get that.

But think of it that you're serving by allowing your Daddy to care and protect his little girl

 

[Lindi37]

I think that maybe you're seeing the change as being something negative. Something that you've lost perhaps.
Maybe that's not the case.

It does feel like a loss at times.

It's so clear how much you value and need each other. Yes circumstances have meant that the dynamic may have changed but you still have each other and if he's still with you, even after the changes, then that's because he wants to be and wants you, and if he can't say it then his actions show it.

I’m incredibly lucky and so fortunate that I’ve had him in my life. He taught me so much and helped we grow as a person. I just miss what it was before while also loving what we have now.

Life never seems to go the way we expect it to but that's no reason why things should stop completely for you both.
Enjoy the moments you do get together and try not to overthink too much (that's rich coming from me I know)

I saw this when you posted, but know I have a tendency to jump in and often dominate (pun intended ) discussions

lmao

I'd say that unless he's telling you he's unhappy with how things are, or how they are now life has lifed, then he's OK, and just happy that you're managing to (or trying to) adapt to the situation and find a way that works for you both...

He seems happy.

As for not being able to continue your Dom/sub dynamic, are you meaning at all, or just in a sexual or time intensive way?

Mainly sexual. I do adore wee tasks but I also love the connection that being sub provides
Thank you so much for your input! You’re both amazing.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Hello my fabulous people.
I have decided that I’d kick things off with a question:

how do you navigate life/circumstances changing to the point where you’re unable to continue your Dom/sub dynamic?

For context
- He’s still incredibly important to me and I’d love for him to be able to say that too (he has valid reasons for being unable to)

Based on your posts, his behavior has demonstrated that you are important to him. I would say that actions are worth more than words. I know that some people have issues or limits with certain words… “love” comes to mind. “Important” isn’t one of those words for me, but everyone is different.

- We’re both time poor and I’m unable to complete tasks in a way that won’t affect my home or professional life

If tasks are important to one or both of you, you might have to consider very small or simple tasks that don’t stand out. For instance, you have to message him and tell him something that you did well on a given day. Or he tells you, a couple days in advance, what color underwear to wear on a given day. If you can, you need to send him a photo of them while you are wearing them that day.

- I want to feel like I’m serving him in some way. He seems to enjoy seeing my pics getting attention.

If you haven’t already, ask him for suggestions of ways in which you can serve him. Try to find small things that don’t require a lot of time. I know that certain compliments make my D feel extra special and/or sexy. I think that knowing what to say and when to say it is a way in which I serve him.

- I am still his submissive. I’m almost scared to not be

I think that, at least for me, the D/s dynamic is as much about how we feel as it is about the things we do. If you both still feel like Dom and sub, then you still are, regardless of how much or how little play happens.

It's so clear how much you value and need each other. Yes circumstances have meant that the dynamic may have changed but you still have each other and if he's still with you, even after the changes, then that's because he wants to be and wants you, and if he can't say it then his actions show it.

Life never seems to go the way we expect it to but that's no reason why things should stop completely for you both.
Enjoy the moments you do get together and try not to overthink too much (that's rich coming from me I know)

Rosie is a smart cookie. Listen to her.

I'd say that unless he's telling you he's unhappy with how things are, or how they are now life has lifed, then he's OK, and just happy that you're managing to (or trying to) adapt to the situation and find a way that works for you both...

As for not being able to continue your Dom/sub dynamic, are you meanung at all, or just in a sexual or time intensive way?

My take has always been that a Dom is there for his sub in the ways that she needs at the time. I once knew a sub online whose everyday life was chaotic and in a mess and overwhelmed her. I ended up being a dom who helped her make sense of the chaos, and helped her prioritise and bring her life in order. She needed that authority figure to focus her, but there was never any sexual aspect to it

Salty is pretty smart too.

 

[Lindi37]

Things have been different lately with Daddy and I too.
I've had a run of crap luck with my physical and mental health over the last few months. Haven't felt very subby and my libido is just dying embers instead of the roaring fire it once was.
I feel so incredibly guilty that I can't be there for him in the way I want and that he needs and I'm trying so hard to get back to where I want to be.
He has been so supportive and understanding throughout which is wonderful but I can't help but worry that he'd be happier with someone who isn't as broken.
How can I be what he needs when I can barely get through a day without feeling terrible?

Oh sweetheart. It sounds like he adores you so much.

I'd say the answer would be more in that you have a DD/lg relationship.

If you were master/slave, then you would exist to please and serve. With a Daddy/little, then a lot of his pleasure derives from protecting you, and caring for you, and making sure you're OK. It's much more of a two way relationship. The little exists to please her Daddy, and Daddy's priority is the welfare and happiness of his little.

That makes a lot of sense and is very helpful, thank you.

I guess I see myself as being the girl who is there for everyone else. It's hard when I can't do that. I place a lot of self value on what I can do for others so then feel tremendous guilt if I'm the one in need.

That makes sense honey but you’re more than what you do for others.

 

[Lindi37]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Have a great Sunday x

 

[Azuldrgon]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Habe a great Sunday x

I am rooting for you.
I want you happy although I love the occasional glimpses.

 

[paulworcsuk]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Habe a great Sunday x

Is it wrong to hope you accidentally miss a day?

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Have a great Sunday x

Very sweet task and you know I’m supportive but…. a few failures wouldn’t be the end of the world

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Have a great Sunday x

That sounds perfect for you!

 

[Alancaster78]

Any updates since we last chatted @RosewoodTulip ? Getting those embers back roaring again? Have you remained in contact even though you’re extremely busy? Sometimes a quick text, selfie of you, or note can stoke the fire.

@Lindi37 So did you send him a response immediately? You go girl!

 

[sallysparrow23]

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. So many changes and developments in both our lives that I often feel like I should allow him to be with someone ‘better’. I know he has offers . But I also know that we’re so good together , and I love that I’m his. He sent me this last night:

“Would you like a task you can do that won't interfere with work or home, and that would make me very happy?”

Enthusiastic nodding from me…

“I want to see my girl every day”

Awwww . Warm fuzzies!

“If you don't send me a pic in any given day, you have to post a nude on your thread”

Ooooo why am I suddenly turned on

So, yeah, new challenge that I hope I am able to succeed with . Have a great Sunday x

I love this for you! It will be fun and make you feel close.

 

[Lindi37]

I am rooting for you.
I want you happy although I love the occasional glimpses.

Thank you my friend

Is it wrong to hope you accidentally miss a day?

I hope so too

Very sweet task and you know I’m supportive but…. a few failures wouldn’t be the end of the world

They wouldn’t, but I do so love to do as I’m told

That sounds perfect for you!

I love this for you! It will be fun and make you feel close.

It really has

 

[Lindi37]

I’ve been such a good babygirl this week!
I’ve remembered each day and sent him mainly selfies as I prepare for my day. Last night I sent him a pic of me in bed and tonight I hope to send something sexy

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I’ve been such a good babygirl this week!
I’ve remembered each day and sent him mainly selfies as I prepare for my day. Last night I sent him a pic of me in bed and tonight I hope to send something sexy

Damn!

 

[Saltfountain]

I’ve been such a good babygirl this week!
I’ve remembered each day and sent him mainly selfies as I prepare for my day. Last night I sent him a pic of me in bed and tonight I hope to send something sexy

I'm so glad you're feeling better about things again Lindi!

It's lovely to hear the smile on your face as you type

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I’ve been such a good babygirl this week!
I’ve remembered each day and sent him mainly selfies as I prepare for my day. Last night I sent him a pic of me in bed and tonight I hope to send something sexy

I'm sure everything you send is sexy

I'm so happy for you and for him. Happy babygirl = happy Dom

 

[Lindi37]

I took some photos and sent them to him as a wee gift. I may even edit the video I took the photos from and send it too (yes, this is the first time he’s hearing about it).
I actually loved one picture so much that I’ve asked to share it. His only condition is to ensure you all know that I’m not being punished.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I took some photos and sent them to him as a wee gift. I may even edit the video I took the photos from and send it too (yes, this is the first time he’s hearing about it).
I actually loved one picture so much that I’ve asked to share it. His only condition is to ensure you all know that I’m not being punished.

Thank you for sharing with us.
I'm loving seeing you with a spark again

 

[Saltfountain]

I took some photos and sent them to him as a wee gift. I may even edit the video I took the photos from and send it too (yes, this is the first time he’s hearing about it).
I actually loved one picture so much that I’ve asked to share it. His only condition is to ensure you all know that I’m not being punished.

Daaaaammmmnnnn

Looks like someone has her subby feelings back

 

[Saltfountain]

Thank you for sharing with us.
I'm loving seeing you with a spark again

Everything Rosie said