Dear Litster, once more

[PlanetaryNebula]

Dear Litster

Your excuses for being out of touch are not only bullshit but a shitty thing to claim. It’s so obvious that you’re not interested, and shameful that you would claim family strife instead of being forthright. I’d rather you’d just ghost me, you shallow dumpster fire.

Sincerely,

Nicefella

How dare ya!

 

[Nicefella]

How dare ya!

You I would just angry hug it out with

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Dear Litsters,

I am confused AF and blissfully unaware of whatever drama transpired. If I could just get a @barefootgirl69 to send me a list of those with the most red flags I should be avoiding, that would be great.

Thanks in Advance,
Fuckers Over Fuckery

 

[positiveflirt]

Dear Litsters,
The last few weeks have been stupidly busy so if you're planning on doing anything especially amazing/hilarious that I'd really enjoy, please leave it until the weekend so I don't miss it. Oh next Tuesday is looking OK too.
Much appreciated.
Me.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Dear Litster.

You're rude.

Signed,
I hate rudeness Litster.

 

[Cindy027]

You're rude.

Moi? Sûrement pas!

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Moi? Sûrement pas!

No comment.

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Dear Litster,

I was there for you when you needed me. I co-signed the auto loan and didn't ask questions. But when I saw that you bought a Tesla Cybertruck with the loan money I was just plain flabbergasted and disgusted. You make me sick. If you do this to me 7 or 8 more times we are through.

Please delete all the nudes that I have sent you.

You make me sick. SICK.

Sincerely,

Sickened Litster. Who you made sick. And is sick because of you.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Dear Litster

I was mildly surprised to receive a pm from you today as its been over a year since I heard from you.

I was really surprised to see that it was a "hello" and an introduction.

I am very amused that I was clearly so memorable that you had completely forgotten I had existed.

Signed,
No I Won't Be Replying To This Nonsense

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Dear Litster,

Wow. Just wow. I have to say that I'm really disappointed in your reaction. I mean, yes, I did in fact viciously fuck your mother but it's very sad to see you be so immature and one-sided about this.

First off, it was consensual. I mean obviously, of course. Second, it was loving. I showed your mother the rapturous joy of an anal climax. Third, yes, your dad watched. Did he cry? Maybe. But that's on him. Why don't you relax about it?

I really thought you were a cool, mature person but your outburst when I talked in detail about my experience with your mother while giving the speech at work? Wow. I think you have some growing up to do.

I just want you know though, that I forgive you. I'll see you this weekend for dinner. What kind of wine does your mom like?

Best regards,

I fucked your mom Litster

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Dear Litster

I was mildly surprised to receive a pm from you today as its been over a year since I heard from you.

I was really surprised to see that it was a "hello" and an introduction.

I am very amused that I was clearly so memorable that you had completely forgotten I had existed.

Signed,
No I Won't Be Replying To This Nonsense

Yikes. Someone did this shit? Ugh. Sorry that happened.

Also HI!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Yikes. Someone did this shit? Ugh. Sorry that happened.

Also HI!

Yes this did in fact happen. Good job my self confidence is already rock bottom eh?

Hey you

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear The non-Drama Llama,

I have observed many an instance of you being quite the opposite of a non-drama llama… I’m not sure what that is exactly.. maybe a melodramatic moose? A theatrical turkey? A hysterical hippo?
Regardless… it has happened.

Unfortunately, because I’m not an anal retentive spooge vermin … I don’t keep all the receipts.

I just trust that my fellow litsters will trust my unimpeachable integrity and judgement.

Signed,
I see you.

 

[BadAmy]

Dear Lister,

I'm wholly disappointed that you would have the audacity to butt love his mom, yet not know her favorite wine.
Shame on you.
Signed,
Your holiness,
Madame Sommelier

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Dear Lister,

I'm wholly disappointed that you would have the audacity to butt love his mom, yet not know her favorite wine.
Shame on you.
Signed,
Your holiness,
Madame Sommelier

Dear Madame,

Look, I'm not a wine guy. Also me and the mom are taking it slow. Start with butt stuff work up to getting to know her. Is this how you do it? Fuck if I know. I'm making this up as I go along.
Also what's the kind of wine that fizzles? She might like that.

Classy AF Litster

 

[Bry1313]

Dear I See you,

When I have been wronged, I’m never cryptic about it, I dedicate songs to the offenders like a god damn man. Also, I never instigate but I do respond.

Signed,

The true non-drama Llama

 

[Nicefella]

Dear Litster

Thanks you very fucking much for giving me diphtheria. I mean I expected herpes or the clap, but ffs Diphtheria? I knew you were old as dirt when I bootycalled you up in the oldest section of the old age home, but diphtheria?

Thanks a lot @SirConradPeckereye - thanks a lot!!!

 

[Wand3rlust]

Dear I See you,

When I have been wronged, I’m never cryptic about it, I whine and whine, and whine again like a whiney-ass wanker.

Signed,

The whining weiner.

FIFY

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear true non-drama llama … aka the melodramatic moose.. aka the theatrical turkey… aka the hysterical hippo …


All your “wow” and “angry” reactions tell a different story …


Signed,
Just sayin

 

[Bry1313]

Dear Just sayin’

Maybe you should treat your friends with a little kindness and god damn respect.

Respectfully and without Drama

Your non-Drama Llama.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Dear Litster

Thanks you very fucking much for giving me diphtheria. I mean I expected herpes or the clap, but ffs Diphtheria? I knew you were old as dirt when I bootycalled you up in the oldest section of the old age home, but diphtheria?

Thanks a lot @SirConradPeckereye - thanks a lot!!!

Dear Thanks a lot aka Diphtheria Doug,

That's what you get for trolling around the old age home! I thought that the top hat and monocle would give it away, but you were so randy it went right past you!
This reminds me I jeed to pay that nurse a visit that gave me the syringe with those droplets from that patient that had Diphtheria... I mean.... of course it was ME that had it....

Sincerely,
Teach you to hoe around at old homes again.

 

[Cyber_Bella]

Dear Litsters,

 

[Tigobitties98]

Dear true non-drama llama … aka the melodramatic moose.. aka the theatrical turkey… aka the hysterical hippo …


All your “wow” and “angry” reactions tell a different story …


Signed,
Just sayin

Dear Just sayin’

Maybe you should treat your friends with a little kindness and god damn respect.

Respectfully and without Drama

Your non-Drama Llama.

Dear Litsters,

For fuck's sake,

Sincerely,
The only grown up here

 

[Nicefella]

Dear Thanks a lot aka Diphtheria Doug,

That's what you get for trolling around the old age home! I thought that the top hat and monocle would give it away, but you were so randy it went right past you!
This reminds me I jeed to pay that nurse a visit that gave me the syringe with those droplets from that patient that had Diphtheria... I mean.... of course it was ME that had it....

Sincerely,
Teach you to hoe around at old homes again.

Dear Teach you to Hoe

It was your monocle and top hat that gave me the thigh sweats. It was worth it.

Yours truly
dippy doug

 

[crazychemgirl]

Dear Your non-Drama Llama,

Oh I do .. I 100% do.. you could take a survey and I guarantee I am the nice one here.


Signed,
At least I’m not the worst