Ask Doctor Liz!

[LizVegas79]

How many times is perfect?

Depends on how deep you can get!

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Doctor Liz, for a while now, each morning, I've graced my shower head and my beautiful girlfriend with a rendition of one of a few songs: angel from montgomery by the wonderful John prine; turn the page by michigan's own bob seger, or Georgia by one Ray Charles.

In the past few weeks, said girlfriend has begun to open up. And on 3 or 4 occasions, set within the privacy of our en suite, I've heard her singing "my heart will go on" by Celine Dion, each instance growing louder than the last.

My question, Dr. Liz, is how to convey, in a sensitive and understanding manner, that if she doesn't start singing better songs, I'm going to have to kick her out forever?

 

[numeniusa]

Dear Doctor Liz,

My husband fancies himself as a doctor. Whatever ailment I have, his diagnosis is always "Not enough sex", with that wicked grin that has my knickers off in seconds. In your esteemed opinion, is this good medicine?

 

[lowphat]

Dear Doctor Liz,

My husband fancies himself as a doctor. Whatever ailment I have, his diagnosis is always "Not enough sex", with that wicked grin that has my knickers off in seconds. In your esteemed opinion, is this good medicine?

Having seen a lot of doctors lately, I think my opinion counts.

You just need more sex

 

[Hornblende]

Having seen a lot of doctors lately, I think my opinion counts.

You just need more sex

I knew my diagnosis was accurate

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear Doctor Liz,

My husband fancies himself as a doctor. Whatever ailment I have, his diagnosis is always "Not enough sex", with that wicked grin that has my knickers off in seconds. In your esteemed opinion, is this good medicine?

Dear Madam,

Would you care to share this doctor who seems to understand an ailment and cure it, as well?



Dear Dr. Liz,
Where can I get a license to practice this type of medicine that I've spoken of above? Do you think I will need classes to study how it's done properly?

 

[tnman03]

Dear Doctor Liz,

My husband fancies himself as a doctor. Whatever ailment I have, his diagnosis is always "Not enough sex", with that wicked grin that has my knickers off in seconds. In your esteemed opinion, is this good medicine?

Hmm? It would appear you hubs has a Doctorate of Love in all things involving you and combines that with a lustful intent. It doesn't sound like a bad combination to this ole country boy.

 

[numeniusa]

Dear Madam,

Would you care to share this doctor who seems to understand an ailment and cure it, as well?



Dear Dr. Liz,
Where can I get a license to practice this type of medicine that I've spoken of above? Do you think I will need classes to study how it's done properly?

Dear Madam,

Well, girls should always share, a good hairdresser, for example, a good electrician, a good lawyer. So how can I refuse?

I should warn you, though, if you plan to take up this career, the training is arduous, the hours long, the patients oh so demanding...

 

[Hornblende]

Dear Madam,

Well, girls should always share, a good hairdresser, for example, a good electrician, a good lawyer. So how can I refuse?

I should warn you, though, if you plan to take up this career, the training is arduous, the hours long, the patients oh so demanding...

...though not as demanding as the Doctor

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Dear Dr. Liz,
Where can I get a license to practice this type of medicine that I've spoken of above? Do you think I will need classes to study how it's done properly?

I would be most willing to help you with your studies and to be your study partner/training dummy for all those long hours you are going to have to put in. Just the joy of knowing I am helping you to achieve your goal will be all the reward I need.

 

[LizVegas79]

Doctor Liz, for a while now, each morning, I've graced my shower head and my beautiful girlfriend with a rendition of one of a few songs: angel from montgomery by the wonderful John prine; turn the page by michigan's own bob seger, or Georgia by one Ray Charles.

In the past few weeks, said girlfriend has begun to open up. And on 3 or 4 occasions, set within the privacy of our en suite, I've heard her singing "my heart will go on" by Celine Dion, each instance growing louder than the last.

My question, Dr. Liz, is how to convey, in a sensitive and understanding manner, that if she doesn't start singing better songs, I'm going to have to kick her out forever?

- Oh sweetie, some things you just need to come out and say!

Do the girl a favor and download some Joni Mitchell or JLo on her iPod/Rhapsody world.

Dear Doctor Liz,

My husband fancies himself as a doctor. Whatever ailment I have, his diagnosis is always "Not enough sex", with that wicked grin that has my knickers off in seconds. In your esteemed opinion, is this good medicine?

PhD's are hard to get. However, your husband seems to have a keen awareness of the profession.

My recommendation is you keep following his advice for as long as your knickers keep falling off.

Dear Dr. Liz,
Where can I get a license to practice this type of medicine that I've spoken of above? Do you think I will need classes to study how it's done properly?

You need to apply directly

But in the meantime consider yourself Apprentice Doctor Barefoot. Congratulations!

(you are hereby granted permission to diagnose patients of your choice)

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

PhD's are hard to get.

But can you get a PhD hard?


On the other hand, if you get a PhD, do you need a shot to get rid of it? Or will an ointment work?

 

[LWulf]

Dr. Liz

Doctor, doctor, can't you see, I'm burning, burning?
Oh, doctor, doctor, is this love, I'm feeling?

 

[LizVegas79]

But can you get a PhD hard?


On the other hand, if you get a PhD, do you need a shot to get rid of it? Or will an ointment work?

Oh, you can get a PhD VERY hard - especially if you can find out what he's into. The brain is actually the biggest sex organ you know!

It's best to go with the ointment first. Make sure it's rubbed in really really deep and nice. Then let him give you a shot. He'll probably leave on his own shortly after that.

Dr. Liz

Doctor, doctor, can't you see, I'm burning, burning?
Oh, doctor, doctor, is this love, I'm feeling?

It sounds like a rash.

Or maybe someone slipped you some LSD in your coconut water.

Either way, just try to relax. Do you own any Grateful Dead? Sit down. Put it on. Listen. Really, really listen. But not too much. Then get up and move around a little. Then sit back down. Or, go outside and do something.

You could also jump back, turn around, and pick a bale of hay. That usually helps you know where you're at so that you can assess your own feelings about what you want - remember feelings are about what you want.

 

[LWulf]

Dr. Liz,

Doctor, my eyes; tell me what is wrong; was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Do you own any Grateful Dead? Sit down. Put it on. Listen. Really, really listen. But not too much.

No Dead. Lots of The Floyd.

And some cool Chill Out tracks from Amazon. 17 hours of it for $2. Kind of Latin New Age Fusion Jazz stuff

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz,

Doctor, my eyes; tell me what is wrong; was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

I suppose you want me to help you understand? It's the slow parade of tears, sweetie. The slow parade of tears.

 

[LizVegas79]

No Dead. Lots of The Floyd.

Pink Floyd on LSD? He might never leave his room again! lol

 

[thejabber27]

Dear Dr.Liz,

No matter how much alcohol I drink I can't seem to get drunk, I even space them out for weeks.... Nothing works.

I can't tell if this is a super power or a super problem....

 

[LWulf]

Dr. Liz,

There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship smokes on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves. Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying.

When I was a child I had a fever. My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I've got that feeling once again, I can't explain you would not understand; this is not how I am!
I have become comfortably numb.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

^^ Have a Cigar.

 

[neakman]

^^ Have a Cigar.

you are gonna go far......

 

[RustyIron]

OMG OMG, OMG,
Dr Dr give me the news
I got a bad case
of pervy views.

Dr Liz and Dr BFG I get a PhD (pretty hard dick) every time I visit lit, It is not as hard to get as some would seem to suggest apparently.
What's the prognosis is it bad Doc.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

What's the prognosis is it bad Doc.

Doc will have to go 'hands on' and examine in close detail. Maybe even do a taste test. She may need a second opinion from her receptionist.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

You might even need to be sent to the Lab Assistant. You DON'T want to go to the Lab Assistant.



Do you?