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❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

Lots of interesting thoughts on being one's self.
I think for me I'm only now becoming a little comfortable with that girl and as a 'drama kid' the idea of scenes and scenarios used to appeal (I still have a fondness for some weird conversation that devolves into something dirty - I have a particularly funny, sexy thing in mind that all started as a "will you be my boo? Check yes or no." joke.) But the first time someone wanted me for me?(4.1.18 - not that I remember) All the bad, weird, and ugly included... roleplay lost most of its luster.

I really don't want to knock it. It has a place and can be fun and creative. I think there could be a place for it with a couple that's been together for a long time or one who's coming back together after a break.
 
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Nick0311 said:
My experience here is very similar. I came to Lit in the last year of a sexless and hapless marriage. I thought all women were like my ex, little to no desire for sex much less anything kinky or exploring new things. When I came on here I was floored by the openness of the women here, albeit being online makes it a little easier. To hear women talk about sex and they kinks they like and how they are achieving those things was all new to me. I realized I was missing out, not only on the sex stuff but on true partnership and support.

Within the first 6 months of our marriage I was transitioning out of the military, starting a new job, moving, and being a father. One of these things is hard enough but to do all at once was a bit overwhelming. To add to it I was struggling with PTSD and doing my best to deal with it myself. As the years went by things got worse. I wasn't treating my PTSD and my wife was crating more distance from me. When I finally tried to lean on her a little for help she told me it was my problem to deal with not hers. Well that was the breaking point. I'm not going to go into detail here but things went from bad to worse and very dark.

While I was going through my darkest time is when I joined Lit and it was a bit of a reprieve from me. I was able to talk to people about anything because I had nothing to lose. Everyone was very supportive and it made my life a little better.

Now I am with a woman that is everything I could ever wanted. She is a true partner. I know I can lean on her, and she can lean on me. I can and have told her every fantasy and have no fear of judgment, even if it's not something she has any desire to do. We both have greatly expanded our sexual boundaries because of the love and trust we have for each other.

Sorry I went on a bit of a tangent there and probably went a bit overboard. Basically what I am trying to saying is Lit help show me what kind of women are out there and gave me hope.
Click to expand...

Lit has a way of helping me to open up and talk about things that were verboten in my marriage.

No, we can't do BDSM (I had a Master prior to my marriage)
No, I don't like spanking you with a belt
No, I'm too tired for foreplay... read a story and wake me when you're ready.

Seriously, when someone wanted to spend time with me, get to know me, make me squirm by telling me what he wanted to do to me...I realized I was in good company!

I'm glad you have found someone who fills your needs and helps you satisfy them.

Do y'all roleplay?
 
PrettyLilPussy19 said:
Lots of interesting thoughts on being one's self.
I think for me I'm only now becoming a little comfortable with that girl and as a 'drama kid' the idea of scenes and scenarios used to appeal (I still have a fondness for some weird conversation that devolves into something dirty - I have a particularly funny, sexy thing in mind that all started as a "will you be my boo? Check yes or no." joke.) But the first time someone wanted me for me?(4.1.18 - not that I remember) All the bad, weird, and ugly included... roleplay lost most of its luster.

I really don't want to knock it. It has a place and can be fun and creative. I think there could be a place for it with a couple that's been together for a long time or one who's coming back together after a break.
Click to expand...

Being wanted for you is a wonderful feeling. I'm sorry it took so long for you to feel that way.
 
I have a slightly different take on this.

We all play different roles in any serious relationship, and some of them aren’t mutually compatible. I respect any partner of mine as being at least my equal - never less - and try to be supportive, caring and kind. That can be difficult to match with my taste for hanging her from a hook in the ceiling and smacking her bare ass until she cries. (This has never happened, obviously...the hook was on the back of the door).

Role play gives enough emotional latitude for that to be possible without straining other aspects of the relationship. It’s also an instant way to establish a power dynamic - professor/student, cop/prisoner, princess/slave...you choose.

I do like role play. But not because I want you to be someone other than you. I like it as a way of letting the whole you, and the whole me, have space to be us.
 
With me, I wasn’t me for a long time.
I was a doormat, and not in a good way.
It’s nice to breathe and be me.

An aside, but still kind of triggered from this...I wonder there’s a difference between how men and women see this, outside of our little room here.
 
Mei5ter said:
I have a slightly different take on this.

We all play different roles in any serious relationship, and some of them aren’t mutually compatible. I respect any partner of mine as being at least my equal - never less - and try to be supportive, caring and kind. That can be difficult to match with my taste for hanging her from a hook in the ceiling and smacking her bare ass until she cries. (This has never happened, obviously...the hook was on the back of the door).

Role play gives enough emotional latitude for that to be possible without straining other aspects of the relationship. It’s also an instant way to establish a power dynamic - professor/student, cop/prisoner, princess/slave...you choose.

I do like role play. But not because I want you to be someone other than you. I like it as a way of letting the whole you, and the whole me, have space to be us.
Click to expand...

I like that very eloquent explanation.
 
AlwaysFara said:
With me, I wasn’t me for a long time.
I was a doormat, and not in a good way.
It’s nice to breathe and be me.

An aside, but still kind of triggered from this...I wonder there’s a difference between how men and women see this, outside of our little room here.
Click to expand...

Your great Fara *hugs*

I don't think many people really understand this. I feel it's why so many people get hurt on lit.
 
KamaKamaSutra said:
:eek:

*chases* I"m gonna tickle you when I catch you FARA!
Click to expand...

Tickling is a hard limit.
Dead fucking serious.

I made the mistake of mentioning my loathing for tickling and clowns.
For the next 2 days that’s allllllll I saw in the Control thread.
 
PrettyLilPussy19 said:
#19 (submitted)

Roleplaying
Roleplaying IRL and online. How into role-playing are you IRL or online? Taking punishment as an example - does your arousal come from being punished and you don't really care why, or is the "why" a huge part getting into subspace or domspace for you? How important is the storyline?

So just to expand upon the original question - what about being yourself but roleplaying situations you can't be in at the moment - either because you are online and not physically together or because it's safer to RP the scenario than explore it?
Click to expand...

Some great responses. This is a terrific thread.

I guess you could say IRL I only role play. We're not living the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. It never enters our everyday existence. We just enjoy bondage. Mostly rope work, tying her up and tying her down (if you grok the implications; does this confuse people?). Theres a bit of other stuff (blindfolds, collars, corsets)in our play. It always means sex :) "eventually" because that's how it started. She needed to give up control in order to enjoy sex. That likely sounds odd, but it was part of her recovery from a bad situation before we met. Some women would have given up on love and sex. She embraced both. I guess it's about the exchange of power and control in a sexual context. "Plot" comes on the fly, often based on clothing and location. It can be elaborate or simple, and often repeats

"Punishment" only takes the form of orgasm denial and sensory deprivation. I don't think I can talk about spanking. It's just too intimate. (I've been trying for ten minutes). Suffice it to say: it's not punishment.

I'm kind of rambling here, sorry.
 
AlwaysFara said:
Tickling is a hard limit.
Dead fucking serious.

I made the mistake of mentioning my loathing for tickling and clowns.
For the next 2 days that’s allllllll I saw in the Control thread.
Click to expand...

So you're saying DON'T remind them of that period right?

Ok how about play tackling and a bit of "play" "fighting".
 
I don't always expect to win, but I think the fight will be a fun :D
I also have a few tricks up my sleve, one is red and round and squeaks.

Take me the hospital if I don't wake up in a few days lol
 
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