Hinting to your partner about your fetish

How many of you have hinted at your partner about your fetish or desire and your partner either ignores it or never gets the hint. What was your remedy to the situation or do you just keep it in and don't bring it up anymore?
I know it's always not as simple as just telling your partner as some people think it's weird to have this fetish or maybe they are just very conservative and not easy to talk to about kinks.

Fetish

PantyGentleman said:

How many of you have hinted at your partner about your fetish or desire and your partner either ignores it or never gets the hint. What was your remedy to the situation or do you just keep it in and don't bring it up anymore?
I know it's always not as simple as just telling your partner as some people think it's weird to have this fetish or maybe they are just very conservative and not easy to talk to about kinks.

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I have a fetish of seeing my wife getting fucked by another guy and of course having a threesome with another girl. I have mentioned it and got scolded for it. I did try several more times. But she wont answer.
So in this case, what does a guy do?

I tried hinting once. I dressed up in a maid outfit and stuck a feather duster in my ass and she just looked at me and told me that it was the worst Halloween costume ever.

Not sure if it's a fetish...or just a desire, but my wife wanted me to eat her and lick her clean after I had cum in her....for about several years.
She never said a thing....it just happened one night....and what a reaction!!!
Looking back....there were a few hints...but not that I caught.
Wasn't something I thought would ever be on her 'list'.

After that kink was out of the bag...she wasn't so bashful about things anymore!!!

PantyGentleman said:

How many of you have hinted at your partner about your fetish or desire and your partner either ignores it or never gets the hint. What was your remedy to the situation or do you just keep it in and don't bring it up anymore?
I know it's always not as simple as just telling your partner as some people think it's weird to have this fetish or maybe they are just very conservative and not easy to talk to about kinks.

Click to expand...

This is a really good question. My spouse knows I'm kinkier than him, but really isn't interested in learning the specifics. And some of my kinks would really turn him off, so I'm not going to even try to share them--I don't want to change the way he looks at me and respects me. Other things though that I know might turn him on, I do share here and there, but his interest in talking sex really isn't that high, but I do try to keep the lines of communication open. In general, if it's something the other person could indulge for you in a safe, sane, consensual way, gently broaching the subject isn't a terrible idea, but I know how bad rejection can feel.

Well, im in line with the other gents here. Have brought things up, tactfully, slowly. Got luke warm reception then complete shut down. By no means am i off the charts with kink ( pretty vanilla imho) but im interested in things. So now what? Life of safe boredom? Releive myself with porn? Or move on? Beats the hell outta me....

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I've got a panty fetish. I commented to my wife when we were dating once that she had a sexy selection of panties and she proceeded to take pictures of the panties she has in her collection and sending it to me. She never did it again so I always took it as her trying to rile me up more than anything.

Other than that, I've never really let my wife know other than by taking my time touching her and eating her through her panties when we have sex.

I have found that hinting doesn't work very well in my marriage. My wife is a very smart woman, so either I'm not very good with my hints or it just doesn't occur to her that I might be trying to hint at something (much less what it might be). Either way, getting things in the open seems to work better.

I can only speak for my marriage, but we have an open communication policy. We each have a right to be heard and to be accepted, including our kinks. The flip side is that we each have to respect each other, including if a kink is off of the table for one of us.

The direct approach gets much better results for me. And, if the result isn't what I might have hoped then at least the door is open to talk about it, if it's important enough. "Direct" means different things at different times, but an appropriate time and place is important. Whispering what I am going to do to her, or want done to me during foreplay has worked. For bigger things it might be more appropriate to talk about it outside of the bedroom.

Your partner may be conservative, but (in my opinion anyway) you have the right to expect your partner to at least listen and accept who you are and what you like, even if it's not her thing. That might not be easy for her (assuming gender , but if the situation is eating at you then you may want to consider whether not being heard is hurting your relationship with her. Respect goes both ways. It may not be easy, but sometimes it's important to get it out there. If she can't accept you for who you are, or thinks less of you for it then maybe the relationship isn't all that it seems to be. Once it's in the open then at least the two of you can discuss it directly and keep the door open for the future.

The other side of the coin is at least giving her a chance to accept this part of you, and trusting her with it. She may repay your vulnerability in a good way.

This is not what you are looking for but Her and sissy have a together time each week. It is a time when things are quiet and openly talk about anything that comes to mind.

I go very straightforward about it. Just say that I'm interested in trying this and that. See where it leads.

A good way, I find, is after you've had vanilla sex for a few times (which is totally enjoyable for me on its own, with no fetishes) - I just have a talk about our fantasies. An exchange of sorts - I tell you mine, and you tell me yours.

I start with easier things like toys or her sitting on my face and letting me lick her (which is barely even a fetish nowadays). If she says something more extreme - I match it up with my fantasy. It's cool to discuss even fantasy scenarios that you'd never do IRL.

Have an open conversation, no hinting, no beating around the bush. Just tell your partner: "I want to do this with you. (It's okay if you say no.). Want to try this?"

If your fetish is on a farther end of taboo (like golden shower or diaper play or whatever) - start with exploring easier, more common fetishes. I bet you have a few that would lead to your main one.

I've always been an open book from day one with people. I don't want to start falling for a man or woman and fond out that a portion of myself is ugly to them. So far my current boyfriend is open about most things but he at least can tell me where his line is so I dont have any guessing. He thinks the fact I like reading gay porn is weird but he reads mlp fan fic so were even. Lmao

Here's a success story!

I'd been playing around for months with wearing a steel cockring around my whole junk. Enjoying feel and look of it when wearing slim-fit denim, and the wow zang of what it did for my erection when I played solo. I had to share this with my woman!

So one evening. Wearing my chunky thick one which was [and is] my favourite while we were sat together on the settee, I showed her a 'standard' ring-of-steel and asked her to guess what it was for. I teased her a bit with her answers and then told her. I told her how delicious it was for me wearing it and how it made me thicker and harder. She was getting really interested. Then I told her I had another one, a real shiny thick square-section heavy one on right now.

Not much more was said: she was biting at my flies. She had my jeans down. cupping my balls, her eyes wide and wonderful. She sucked me. She begged to go upstairs to bed. She rode me there, crashing down on me to a fabulous orgasm.

Three years on, we pretty well never don't have it on me when we get busy!

PantyGentleman said:

How many of you have hinted at your partner about your fetish or desire and your partner either ignores it or never gets the hint. What was your remedy to the situation or do you just keep it in and don't bring it up anymore?
I know it's always not as simple as just telling your partner as some people think it's weird to have this fetish or maybe they are just very conservative and not easy to talk to about kinks.

Click to expand...

If I felt the woman wouldn't be too bothered by it I would share it. 2 in particular used it during the sex, and one was into it herself. Another looked too much into it and associated it with something else that is bad.

So in short, don't just blurt it out, feel out if they would be into certain things.

FantasySharer1 said:

My wife's younger brother has a cock that is almost twice my size.

I let her know in passing as we were talking about locker rooms that I've seen her brother's dick after workouts in the locker room and that it's bigger than mine.

She brushed it off and months later remembered it and asked me why I had told her. She kept insisting that I tell her why I had mentioned this, and wouldn't back down till I ended up confessing my fantasy to her - that her brother's cock so was so huge that I always wondered how well it would satisfy her. And if it would satisfy her even more than I already do.

We've brought in the fantasy into our sex life from time to time.

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I would have never guessed that she would have even let this be a fantasy for you and her.. but goody for you ! I enjoyed crossdressing for along time and decided to let the wife in on it.. it actually took years for her to go along with it...

FantasySharer1 said:

My wife's younger brother has a cock that is almost twice my size.

I let her know in passing as we were talking about locker rooms that I've seen her brother's dick after workouts in the locker room and that it's bigger than mine.

She brushed it off and months later remembered it and asked me why I had told her. She kept insisting that I tell her why I had mentioned this, and wouldn't back down till I ended up confessing my fantasy to her - that her brother's cock so was so huge that I always wondered how well it would satisfy her. And if it would satisfy her even more than I already do.

We've brought in the fantasy into our sex life from time to time.

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Hot story! Nice that your confession paid off. I would love to introduce the idea of incest and how much of a turn on it is but I think my wife has zero interest. Wouldn't even know how to start that conversation.

I'm fortunate in that my husband and I are very open about our kinks. They don't always align though, and when that happens we just have to discuss and answer the questions "Is this something that I can just live without?" "Is this something you'd be willing to do for me even though you don't care for it?" "Are you ok with me exploring this interest some other way". Kinks like any other part of marriage can involve a lot of compromising.

And keep having the conversation. Sometimes you find something you thought you thought was an absolute "No" actually grows on you.

Honest and open conversations are the best way to share your feelings and desires , if you are just hinting instead of actually saying it you probably won't get any response or it will be a bad one.

I can also say some times sharing a fetish will turn of the person completely. Case and point, besides the other red flags with this woman, I knew fucking her would take no effort at all. But I wasn't into putting my cock in her due to things she told me at the beginning of the date: and no she didn't have a STD. I was willing to fuck her mouth and ass but not the pussy. But she sucked at giving head and wanted to get fucked so I fist-fucked her which she loved due to wet spot she left on my sheets. The wet spot was so big I had to change my sheets before going to bed.

Now for a guy to not wanting to fuck someone (in their pussy) is bad enough, she also killed any chance of a second date because she was INSISTING that I will fuck a guy and let him suck my cock, and that was her fetish. Right there and then I said in my head: there goes your second date!

She even had a friend come over with her male fuck buddy and informed me he is bi during the first date. Oh by the way, this isn't even close to the worst/strangest first dates I ever had. Plus she is part of the many mothers I dated, including this occurred after me and my ex-wife parted ways.

Looking back at some of these dates, you can see some people just don't give up. Also, it's scary they are mothers.

I have shared many fetishes and fantasies with my wife and she has been very accepting and accomodating with almost all of them. Pm me to chat.

FantasySharer1 said:

My wife's younger brother has a cock that is almost twice my size.

I let her know in passing as we were talking about locker rooms that I've seen her brother's dick after workouts in the locker room and that it's bigger than mine.

She brushed it off and months later remembered it and asked me why I had told her. She kept insisting that I tell her why I had mentioned this, and wouldn't back down till I ended up confessing my fantasy to her - that her brother's cock so was so huge that I always wondered how well it would satisfy her. And if it would satisfy her even more than I already do.

We've brought in the fantasy into our sex life from time to time.

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Used to have the same fantasy, still do at times lol. When we were dating my wife used to enjoy teasing my younger brother but I always wondered if she did the same to hers. One night when we were having sex i was surprised when she mentioned her brothers name and would come to find out she used to tease and show off for him growing up. Very hot night and times to follow after she confessed

No hinting required.

Find some hot guy to bang my brains out.

I've flat out told my wife some, hinted at others, and kept still several more locked away. Doesn't matter, she's vanilla and not into doing any of them.

TheWhiteBull said:

I've flat out told my wife some, hinted at others, and kept still several more locked away. Doesn't matter, she's vanilla and not into doing any of them.

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That's too bad she doesn't enjoy your dominant bull side. You seem so good at it

After 13 years of marriage, I've used various methods with my wife.

1 have a open discussion with your partner about what you want to do or try

2 find a story or website about what you want to try and e-mail the link

3 if its something I question she'll even consider, I've told her I had a dream we did _____ and judge her reaction. sometimes we ended up trying it, other times not.

4 the remaining fall into 2 category's, A-waiting until the mood is right to use the above, B- probably not going to happen so I keep it as a fantasy.

I hope you can use some or all of these..,