Do you share your fetishes with your partner?

[darkride]

As it says on the subject...

I've just written one of the "main" chapters of my story - My Mom is a Slut - featuring the main themes of cuckolding, D/s, and incest. Kinda proud of it, or more so - proud of having written 12 chapters, about 60,000 words to date, of a story that's getting an average 4.4 out of 5 stars with 50k max and 10k min views per chapter.

My partner is fully aware of my cuckold, and Dom/sub fantasies, but not about the incest.

Back in the early days of our relationship I used to write custom sex stories for her to read, generally whilst I would lick her or use a toy on her; a variety of different themes were explored covering a few different fetishes etc. I didn't however venture too far into kinkdom in those stories, because - well - who wants to bare their soul and risk ending it all?

(Though, wouldn't it be great if I did, and she loved it...)

We have of course discussed various sexual fantasies, hence cuckolding and Domination/submission being in the open, but then you get to certain taboos and it's just so hard to take that leap...

I have considered the idea of telling her that I have something I want her to read, and opening the story up for her, but - as in the old days - she must agree to me eating her/etc, to help ensure she is, ah, in the mood... at least give myself a chance...

But if the topic really is too far beyond her interests, no tongue or vibe is going to be strong enough to persuade her.

So, I'm left with this fetish remaining a secret...

 

[AnnieLit]

Share as in "talk about" and participate are two very different things. I do share fantasies with my partner, but some of them we both know will never be realized. Which is perfectly fine by me.

 

[darkride]

Share as in "talk about" and participate are two very different things. I do share fantasies with my partner, but some of them we both know will never be realized. Which is perfectly fine by me.

Well yes - talking about something is indeed very different to participating. There are things that my wife has said would never "come true" but she was happy to dirty-talk about during sex...

I have tried dirty-talking about incest with my wife, but it's one thing she's usually shut down as "ick". And well, despite being something about 1/5 of us have participated in at some point, it's certainly also a very high up taboo.

 

[darkride]

hubs knows all of mine, shares many, and encourages them all!!

You are very lucky! I'm glad you have that openness, and encouragement!

 

[OlderFitterWiser]

Yes I share most of my fantasies with her. As we age our libido's and fantasies differ slightly.

She's more conscious of her lines or defects as she ages, but I don't care about hers or mine.

I find she tends to keep her fantasies a little more secret than I do. She's now in her mid 50's and still attractive.

Due to work, we live apart for much of the year at present. I have told her I'm happy for her to occasionally play around. But my wife's not the type to kiss and tell afterwards. She'll just kiss, but not tell. She feels a little guilty if I remind her of slutty deeds done.

Like everything in marriage there has to be give and take.
We're still going after over 30 years so something is working OK.

 

[Yesok1]

Yes I share most of my fantasies with her. As we age our libido's and fantasies differ slightly.

She's more conscious of her lines or defects as she ages, but I don't care about hers or mine.

I find she tends to keep her fantasies a little more secret than I do. She's now in her mid 50's and still attractive.

Due to work, we live apart for much of the year at present. I have told her I'm happy for her to occasionally play around. But my wife's not the type to kiss and tell afterwards. She'll just kiss, but not tell. She feels a little guilty if I remind her of slutty deeds done.

Like everything in marriage there has to be give and take.
We're still going after over 30 years so something is working OK.

I'm a little dirtier than my partner. But I share everything with her. We have fetishes too, and I'm prepared to try anything once.

We talk about most things.

 

[Veeweewee]

Yes, but it took ~25 years of marriage to get there.

 

[Justfantasies]

yes, at least most of them. But I find my fantasies have changed a lot in the past few years

 

[DirtyDieselTech]

Yes I've shared my desire to watch my wife fuck another guy with her. She didn't say no but she didn't say yes. She just made a noise...hmmm...then a quick smile and walked away. We RP spitroasting her. She loves it.

 

[darkride]

Yes I've shared my desire to watch my wife fuck another guy with her. She didn't say no but she didn't say yes. She just made a noise...hmmm...then a quick smile and walked away. We RP spitroasting her. She loves it.

Yeah that was probably our first big serious one too. Few years later I did get to see her suck a guy... Mmmmm...

 

[14ALL]

The challenge is that not everyone gets off on eroticisms. For some, the anticipation of sex is a massive aphrodisiac. For others, it simply isn’t. And there’s a spectrum to it, on which two partners can land in very different places. So while one partner might really enjoy one kinky fantasy, the other just wants an orgasm and really couldn’t care less.

So the question of sharing comes down to understanding what drives your partners sexual response. If they’re not into the kinky stuff, you might be able to get them to indulge just because they care about you. But at some point, you could definitely start crossing a line where they can’t play along and things just get weird.

Considering it from the other persons perspective, you could probably think of things that are completely asexual that would completely destroy your libido if you were asked to do them in preparation for a sexual encounter….

------

…. I was going to stop the post but I just started thinking about how not sexy it would be if my partner told me her kink was watching me mow the lawn, paint the house, rebuild the bathrooms, buy a new car, review open enrollment documents, tick and tie receipts to credit card statements, etc. Would I do any of that if it really fired her up??? maybe, sure. Do I want to do that every time? No. And the last two would probably completely shut me down… I’d have a hard time getting it up after either of those. Booooooooring.

“Hey baby, do you think you could repaint the living room for the third time this month while I go out with my girlfriends for the weekend? It would really ramp me up for Sunday night again. Love you, bye.”

Pass…

 

[gtnlynn]

Yes. We share almost everything. Over the years, we have even realized some of our fantasies. Now taht e are old, almost all of the fantasies will just have to remain as fantasy. I still hope somebody will send me a video of my wife having sex with him, and she hopes it never shows up.

 

[Harper_Small]

We shared everything when we were dating. Some of his took a bit longer to coax out of him, such a his foot fetish, just because if the insane amount of memes there are about that online lol. But we had most of them out of our system after 3-4 months. We both spoke about them and included them all into our sexlife

 

[mustang_driver]

Not anymore. I started going down the path of talking about fantasies earlier in our marriage, starting with some of the tamer ones. Initially she played along, but quickly moved to shaming me, yelling at me, and removing sex altogether. She says she hates talking about sex and doing so is a turn off for her. That's why I came here. I've learned to accept it, but if 3 kids weren't involved we wouldn't have stayed married. Our married sex life has been less than satisfying, which has been a shock since she was extremely promiscuous prior to us being together.

 

[SharesMe]

We share everything. Partners snd fantasies.

 

[storypost603]

30 years of marriage yes I have shared mine with her. She knows as most on here.. I want to see her with another man. it has always been no but just the other day she did not say no right off, maybe something is changing. I have had one bi sexual experience and she knows I would like to do it again. I have come out that I love to crossdress every now and again. she has no problem with that and we have had sex with me dressed. I asked her to Peg me and she did once. She does not share much but I did ask her the other day if she wanted to watch me with another man and she said yes. so maybe that is a start.

 

[darkride]

The challenge is that not everyone gets off on eroticisms. For some, the anticipation of sex is a massive aphrodisiac. For others, it simply isn’t. And there’s a spectrum to it, on which two partners can land in very different places. So while one partner might really enjoy one kinky fantasy, the other just wants an orgasm and really couldn’t care less.

So the question of sharing comes down to understanding what drives your partners sexual response. If they’re not into the kinky stuff, you might be able to get them to indulge just because they care about you. But at some point, you could definitely start crossing a line where they can’t play along and things just get weird.

Considering it from the other persons perspective, you could probably think of things that are completely asexual that would completely destroy your libido if you were asked to do them in preparation for a sexual encounter….

------

…. I was going to stop the post but I just started thinking about how not sexy it would be if my partner told me her kink was watching me mow the lawn, paint the house, rebuild the bathrooms, buy a new car, review open enrollment documents, tick and tie receipts to credit card statements, etc. Would I do any of that if it really fired her up??? maybe, sure. Do I want to do that every time? No. And the last two would probably completely shut me down… I’d have a hard time getting it up after either of those. Booooooooring.

“Hey baby, do you think you could repaint the living room for the third time this month while I go out with my girlfriends for the weekend? It would really ramp me up for Sunday night again. Love you, bye.”

Pass…

Very good points!

As I noted above, my wife is sub, but for her - she likes to be basically forcibly restrained. She doesn't just lay there and allow herself to be tied, she wants to struggle, to be subdued, and for me that's a turn off. So yeah - sex lives are fucking complicated!

 

[newhere2learn]

Very rarely, current GF is quite vanilla. So she's cagey if pushed.

 

[bbwAlexa]

My other half knows I have interests. But I don't tell him many. Incest is one of those that as long as it's some fantasy, a legal age family member, it wouldn't bother me. But not our own family.
Sometimes I think I like things that are mine. Fantasies included.

 

[darkride]

My other hug hall knows I have interests. But I don't tell him many. Incest is one of those that as long as it's some fantasy a legal family, it wouldn't bother me. But not our own family.
Sometimes I think I like things that are mine. Fantasies included.

I love stats... and over the years, I've seen a LOT of different sexual fantasy / interests polls / studies etc etc. Most every person on the planet fantasizes about having sex with "another" person other than their partner (same sex as their partner being #1). That then goes down the line til you get to the extreme fetishists that only say 10% or less may think about.

Incest actually varies a lot by your country, as some countries are much more accepting of it than others. Generally though it's quite far up on the list, ie at Least 40% of people either engage in or fantasize about incest. Some places of course it's more taboo, so less talked about, even though a similar % may be thinking of it.

 

[Elayne_Hawke]

I never did talk to anyone of my previous relationships about my fantasies, well did try talking to one but he definitely wasn't interested. I do know this, the next guy I get with, it will only be with one who actually likes to play, experiment, who knows how to pleasure a woman literally. Not stick it in and go was that as enjoyable for you as it was for me. Freaking disappointing. Yeah not again lol

 

[ned63]

30 years of marriage yes I have shared mine with her. She knows as most on here.. I want to see her with another man. it has always been no but just the other day she did not say no right off, maybe something is changing. I have had one bi sexual experience and she knows I would like to do it again. I have come out that I love to crossdress every now and again. she has no problem with that and we have had sex with me dressed. I asked her to Peg me and she did once. She does not share much but I did ask her the other day if she wanted to watch me with another man and she said yes. so maybe that is a start.

I will gladly be the man to fuck your wife as you watch mmmm and yes you can be dressed in your bra an panties.

 

[Inthelastrow]

Nope. My wife is very straight when it comes to sex. I have tried to discuss a few but she usually shuts down any talk by "ew" or "yuck" or "who would like that?" We have tried a couple of "acts" but mostly kink is off limit. Thankfully she likes me to go down on her.

 

[CntryBubbles]

As it says on the subject...

I've just written one of the "main" chapters of my story - My Mom is a Slut - featuring the main themes of cuckolding, D/s, and incest. Kinda proud of it, or more so - proud of having written 12 chapters, about 60,000 words to date, of a story that's getting an average 4.4 out of 5 stars with 50k max and 10k min views per chapter.

My partner is fully aware of my cuckold, and Dom/sub fantasies, but not about the incest.

Back in the early days of our relationship I used to write custom sex stories for her to read, generally whilst I would lick her or use a toy on her; a variety of different themes were explored covering a few different fetishes etc. I didn't however venture too far into kinkdom in those stories, because - well - who wants to bare their soul and risk ending it all?

(Though, wouldn't it be great if I did, and she loved it...)

We have of course discussed various sexual fantasies, hence cuckolding and Domination/submission being in the open, but then you get to certain taboos and it's just so hard to take that leap...

I have considered the idea of telling her that I have something I want her to read, and opening the story up for her, but - as in the old days - she must agree to me eating her/etc, to help ensure she is, ah, in the mood... at least give myself a chance...

But if the topic really is too far beyond her interests, no tongue or vibe is going to be strong enough to persuade her.

So, I'm left with this fetish remaining a secret...

By this point yes I would say my husband knows about most of my fetishes and I know most of his but those are famous last words aren't they. When we met and started as friends we were both sexual people and not really holding back so it was not really something either of us were trying to keep hidden as we progressed.

 

[Mason9653]

What a hellish life to have to hide who you are and what you like from your partner. But many people do. They get together and try to hide themselves from each other. Madness!