Subs: Are you tempted to hide things from your Dom?

Master gives me lots of tasks and chores, and he works long stretches away from home. Sometimes I'm tempted to skip things or do things half-assed, and I get a get a bit of a rise out of hiding these things from him--like a naughty child! It's a bit of a thrill. Unfortunately, my conscience often gets to me and I end up telling on myself and reaping the consequences.

Do you find it more fun to be naughty, or do you get more satisfaction from doing everything exactly as your Dom/Domme ordered?

mazekat said:

Master gives me lots of tasks and chores, and he works long stretches away from home. Sometimes I'm tempted to skip things or do things half-assed, and I get a get a bit of a rise out of hiding these things from him--like a naughty child! It's a bit of a thrill. Unfortunately, my conscience often gets to me and I end up telling on myself and reaping the consequences.

Do you find it more fun to be naughty, or do you get more satisfaction from doing everything exactly as your Dom/Domme ordered?

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Good thread idea, madam. I really hope it doesn't descend quickly into insult-trading over whether brats can really be subs and 'twue Dom(me)s' who don't really exist, etc. Internalized submission fascinates me.

Thanks! I really want to know others opinions on this!

This whole process fascinates me. I'm new to submission; have only entered this role a few months ago. It's exactly what I need. I tend to be quite assertive and enjoy control. I'm fiercely independent, but I've also had what I considered to be very "weak" partners in the past. My current partner is strong in mind and spirit. He is the first person I have been with that I felt safe enough, trusted enough, to turn over my will and power to. However, I still struggle!

I am in a very similar situation. I have always been very independent and in control and only recently admitted my true needs to myself. I have been exploring being submissive for the last few days and have been fortunate enough to find a wonderful online Master. I struggle with trying to control the situation by disobeying on purpose so I will be punished , "forgetting" things Master has demanded to be ongoing tasks, etc. I think this is a way of trying to get Master to punish me when I want rather than for his pleasure and also a way to retain control. However I truly want and need to submit to him completely. So while this slut has only been a submissive slut for a few days this slut acknowledged and discussed this with sluts Master and have begged him in his wisdom to be discerning in his mastery of this slut and ignore what this slut wants and use this slut for his pleasure.
I'm not sure I am in a position to give advice as new as I am to this but I would search my heart and then ask your Master if you can discuss this with him and be completely honest and let your Master deal with this as he sees fit.
Just my humble offering....good luck!

No.

I do not find it more fun to be 'naughty' and purposely disobey requests. That's not how I practice submission. And I never want to be punished. If I want a play 'punishment', I would communicate that.

I don't understand the submission that you describe. It's foreign to me, although I know some people participate in it.

I get lazy.

He rarely ever gives me tasks, but if he does and I don't do it it's probably for the exact same reasons I don't do other things I should, and I wind up with procrastination paralysis and can't get hardly anything done.

The last thing I want in the world is for him to be disappointed in me! I'm not always good about getting things done, but when I do mess up, I try to be fully accountable to him for my mistakes or foolishness. Being less than what he expects of me hurts more than any physical punishment (which would be a conundrum anyway since pain given by him tends to arouse me even if it's not supposed to).

In my experience as the Dom, the disrespect of hiding or doing things intentionally breaking rules bleeds over to all aspects of the relationships. Each couple is different, but if she is okay with dissapointing her Master/Sir then the chemistry I need is not there. It could be that she is the bratty type and I am not into that, or maybe the relationship felt forced from the beginning and that true need for each other was never there.

To me the concept is foreign because our relationship is not constructed around someone giving tasks and chores.

In general though, I will do what I said I would do, unless it's impossible for some reason - taking care of sick child trumps getting things to the dry cleaners for example.
I expect the same from my partners.

Our relationship doesn't involve tasks being handed out in that way. I take care of what needs to be done. We don't do reward and punishment systems, either. My natural work ethic makes me feel terrible if I don't accomplish everything I set out to do. I disappoint myself more often then not if I don't do my best.

wicked woman said:

No.

I do not find it more fun to be 'naughty' and purposely disobey requests. That's not how I practice submission. And I never want to be punished. If I want a play 'punishment', I would communicate that.

I don't understand the submission that you describe. It's foreign to me, although I know some people participate in it.

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This expresses my response to the OP better than I could, though from the other side of the belt, of course.

This is definitely a process, and there is a learning curve. I am not naturally submissive. This is testing my ability to TRUST Master--to trust that he always has my best interest at heart. And to SURRENDER my will, my desires, my wants. This whole process has opened me up to a level of vulnerability and intimacy that I never thought possible.

When I talk about tasks and chores, here are some of the things Master asks of me:

• do short strength training workouts 6 days a week
• do not wear jeans and hoodies (mostly I stick to tights, skirts, dresses and more feminine clothing)
• wear k-balls daily
• do deep throat and anal training

These might sound extreme to some people, but in Master's defense, all of these things are things I have told him I wanted to get better at (working out more, taking better care of my appearance, wanting to learn to deep throat, etc.). His job is to hold me accountable and help me be the person I want to be, and challenge me.

His discipline is usually gentle at first, a stern word for example, and increases if I am not compliant. For example, a few weeks ago Master wanted me to refer to myself only as his slave, not using "I" or "me" etc. That was reallllllyyy hard. I lasted for a few days, then I broke down and cried and told him I would not do it anymore; it just affected me too much emotionally. He was caring through the process, and could see that I was overwhelmed and let me vent. He ended the exercise (for now) but he did say he would hold me accountable when I was feeling better. A few days later I was punished with the crop. I can't say I enjoyed it in a sexual way, but I do love to see the limits of my pain tolerance and there is something significant that physical punishment helps me tap into that I cannot get to on my own. I FEEL my emotions and EXPRESS them more. Usually I am more reserved and stoic, and hard to read/get through to emotionally.

For those who aren't given any tasks/exercises/chores, etc. by their Master, in what ways do you show your submission?

To me, it is when I absolutely do not want to do something, but I do it for him, that I feel most submissive. I overcome the urge to satisfy myself, or preserve my ego, or lash out, or make him see things my way, etc., and choose obedience instead. That is when I feel myself growing. Does that make sense?

This thread may be helpful to you:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1123391

It shows a bit of the diversity in how people organize their relationships.

For me, I think life provides lots of opportunities to defer to someone else and to put their wants and needs first, their authority above your own, for anyone who wants it.

mazekat said:

For those who aren't given any tasks/exercises/chores, etc. by their Master, in what ways do you show your submission?

To me, it is when I absolutely do not want to do something, but I do it for him, that I feel most submissive. I overcome the urge to satisfy myself, or preserve my ego, or lash out, or make him see things my way, etc., and choose obedience instead. That is when I feel myself growing. Does that make sense?

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Just going to say that I don't refer to my husband as Master or anything like that. Also, I think it's important to know that every relationship is unique and you'll see a lot of different ways of doing things here.

My submission looks a little more like taking care of shit so he doesn't have to worry about it. I handle household things and refill his tea. We enjoy some other aspects of D/s, but it evolves and seems to always change with what we need. I just make life easier for him when I can.

Thanks Iris, lol.

Disobeying is definitely a huge no no!

MeekMe said:

Just going to say that I don't refer to my husband as Master or anything like that. Also, I think it's important to know that every relationship is unique and you'll see a lot of different ways of doing things here.

My submission looks a little more like taking care of shit so he doesn't have to worry about it. I handle household things and refill his tea. We enjoy some other aspects of D/s, but it evolves and seems to always change with what we need. I just make life easier for him when I can.

Thanks Iris, lol.

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Scary crossposting!

Definately naughty

You must be punished for doing a bad thing. Must the punishment fit the crime?, not exactly, but the play of punishment is fun for both sides. Can I slap your ass til its bright red, you bad girl?

wicked woman said:

No.

I do not find it more fun to be 'naughty' and purposely disobey requests. That's not how I practice submission. And I never want to be punished. If I want a play 'punishment', I would communicate that.

I don't understand the submission that you describe. It's foreign to me, although I know some people participate in it.

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KoPilot said:

I get lazy.

He rarely ever gives me tasks, but if he does and I don't do it it's probably for the exact same reasons I don't do other things I should, and I wind up with procrastination paralysis and can't get hardly anything done.

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desertslave said:

The last thing I want in the world is for him to be disappointed in me! I'm not always good about getting things done, but when I do mess up, I try to be fully accountable to him for my mistakes or foolishness. Being less than what he expects of me hurts more than any physical punishment (which would be a conundrum anyway since pain given by him tends to arouse me even if it's not supposed to).

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These fit me.

The domly types in my life have learned that when they want to correct my behavior they don't do it with pain or pictures, or anything else that we do for fun. Mostly I get time outs.

They've also all made me ask for what I want. If I want pain, I ask for it. If I want play, I have to ask for it. Otherwise, I don't get it.

I have liked the the "naughty girl" act before, but the men in my life have never been keen on it, and I like being rewarded more than punished anyway.

IrisAlthea said:

This thread may be helpful to you:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1123391

It shows a bit of the diversity in how people organize their relationships.

For me, I think life provides lots of opportunities to defer to someone else and to put their wants and needs first, their authority above your own, for anyone who wants it.

Click to expand...

Thanks Iris

No, I dont like to hide things and I haven't been punished so far.

Sometimes she wiggles her ass, mentioning something mildly mundane-relationship shitty she's done recently, I whack her ass around a little and we both feel a lot better.

It's not without its charm, but the tasks thing isn't really a part of the picture. Procrastination paralysis is king here, too. Naughty girls are in, grocery lists for personal expression and development are out, chez moi.

wicked woman said:

No.

I do not find it more fun to be 'naughty' and purposely disobey requests. That's not how I practice submission. And I never want to be punished. If I want a play 'punishment', I would communicate that.

I don't understand the submission that you describe. It's foreign to me, although I know some people participate in it.

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This.

desertslave View Post
The last thing I want in the world is for him to be disappointed in me! I'm not always good about getting things done, but when I do mess up, I try to be fully accountable to him for my mistakes or foolishness. Being less than what he expects of me hurts more than any physical punishment

And this.

Netzach said:

Sometimes she wiggles her ass, mentioning something mildly mundane-relationship shitty she's done recently, I whack her ass around a little and we both feel a lot better.

It's not without its charm, but the tasks thing isn't really a part of the picture. Procrastination paralysis is king here, too. Naughty girls are in, grocery lists for personal expression and development are out, chez moi.

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Being the wildly anoying class clown until you get chased down and funny-scary things happen works well here - for both of us at different times actually.
It has very little to do with tasks or actual punishment or even misbehaving.
I mean, "accidentally" watering the drink-sipping spouse a bit while watering the garden couldn't be seen as misbehaving, could it?

IrisAlthea said:

I mean, "accidentally" watering the drink-sipping spouse a bit while watering the garden couldn't be seen as misbehaving, could it?

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Haha. Cute!

wicked woman said:

No.

I do not find it more fun to be 'naughty' and purposely disobey requests. That's not how I practice submission. And I never want to be punished. If I want a play 'punishment', I would communicate that.

I don't understand the submission that you describe. It's foreign to me, although I know some people participate in it.

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^^ I agree. It's the 'following orders' of whatever description that satisfies my submissive needs, so if I don't, I'm denying myself, aren't it?

And if it's a task that you're running out of time for, why not ask for a deadline extension rather than hide it?