Subs: Are you tempted to hide things from your Dom?

[mazekat]

Sounds to me like most subs on here are natural submissives. I am not. I have come to this practice because I want to learn to learn to submit, to live for another, to serve well, to learn discipline and structure, to push myself outside my comfort zone.

I fear the loss of control. I fear failure. I fear having my weaknesses exposed.

I can be quite selfish, and undisciplined (not lazy, just overwhelmed and unfocused), and isolated emotionally.

I want to know what it feels like to be enmeshed, to feel joy through another, to trust someone enough to let go of my control, to stop being so fiercely independent.

I was raised in chaos. Control and independence and emotional isolation feel like my nature, but I know there is more to me wanting to let the guard down, wanting to let someone else in, to let someone else care for me, and to lose myself in them. I want to experience that. So, I practice. It's a journey. I do it poorly sometimes. But I am learning every day.

I think learning the art of submission, learning to embody it, will be a newfound freedom for me. I know that sounds crazy to most people, and I can't really explain it, but to me it makes perfect sense.

I want to let go.

 

[leashedbottom]

i would nevee try to hide something from Him!
That disrespects the relationship we have...
One of the first things that told me i needed to be owned by Him was when just after He 'bought' me from my previous Master and explained His Rules, which are written down and framed on the wall where all can see... which is a turn on for me that anyone who comes into the house can see what is expected of me.. Afterwards He said that any time i choose not to follow His Rules because i knew there was no chance of him finding out, is cheating myself of what i needed....

i do make mistakes but when i do He will be told immediately, no matter what the punishment

 

[kimuk]

If he tells me to do something I do it to the best of my ability. I don't always get it right. Then I make An excuse. Which he has pointed out is trying to shift the blame onto him. That was a smack in the face. E.g. " I'm sorry I orgasmed without permission. I was thinking about you and remembering the last time we were together". I was almost saying it's your fault I disobeyed a direct instruction. Actually it was an excuse. My own fault entirely.

I also occasionally over step timed instructions. But it eats away at me and I own up. I have delayed telling him this in the past . But that's just worse. I upset him more as it appears to be deceit when I'm avoiding telling him because I don't want to upset him.

But you learn. Slowly in my case. But every step forwards is an achievement towards making him happy and pleased with me and that's my need and satisfaction

 

[spellslave]

Hide? No. He's even aware that I have/had a crush on someone we mutually know and was going through a period where I was starting to question if I was poly or not. Still have the crush, and settled on the fact that while poly is highly unlikely for me, I'm not being so unrealistic as to rule it out entirely.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

No, I am not tempted to hide things from him. I fear failure and disappointing him, but our relationship is strong and I can share anything with him.

Like another person posted, I talk to my PYL about crushes I've had on others, and he would share the same with me.

I trust him completely. He is the safest person in the world for me to say anything to.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]