minx1
Enchanted Rebel Girl
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2006
- Posts
- 10,751
FurryFury said:I have too. When I was insecure in the relationship with my first husband I wanted ALL of his time. That's kind of funny isn't it, cause it wasn't good time at all.
At the beginning of this relationship I wanted MOST of his time. I was still plenty insecure. I don't know how he put up with it. I'm grateful he has allowed me to be that way and still supportive of me so I could grow and learn.
Now we have, IMO, a much stronger relationship with less time together over all. We still spend a great deal of time together (the majority in fact) but we are happier in our time together now. We each get more of what we want.
First of all, its really interesting to hear about the differences in peoples LD relationships and I find it heartwarming to hear whatever the dynamics, that in the main they work really well. For someone like me who is in the early stages of one, its a great comfort.
I see a lot of myself in you Fury, though it hasn't always been that way. `
In many of my more serious RL relationships including my marriage I think it was always the case that I wanted to be with that person every hour of every day and like wench, that need was often made worse with the feeling that my partner was losing interest. In my case I think they wanted different things and saw me as being needy...and ironically I knew I was pushing them further away, yet the more they backed off, the more I clung on for dear life!
I think I learnt to my cost...when I left my husband a couple of years ago, I had lost all my friends, infact I had lost everything.
In the two years since I left I spent time getting new jobs, moving house, making new friends and repairing the damage with old ones and more importantly getting my confidence back.
Now I am in a LDR with my my Master and really happy, yet I know that if I ever moved to be near him I would never want to return to my old ways of thinking....being with him every moment of every day. He has a life and family and other interests and importantly, so do I.
I have changed a lot, and I love my independence (lol does that sound daft for a sub?!) and my new found confidence and my 'me' time.
It doesn't come naturally to me to think like that *laugh*
I think my personality will always mean I'm prevelant to those feeling...a bit like an addict really *smile*...they will always be there, but for me, I will always try to keep a balance. No one knows what happens in the future and I will never be in the situation where I was left with nothing again.
Besides I love my life now