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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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FurryFury said:
I have too. When I was insecure in the relationship with my first husband I wanted ALL of his time. That's kind of funny isn't it, cause it wasn't good time at all.

At the beginning of this relationship I wanted MOST of his time. I was still plenty insecure. I don't know how he put up with it. I'm grateful he has allowed me to be that way and still supportive of me so I could grow and learn.

Now we have, IMO, a much stronger relationship with less time together over all. We still spend a great deal of time together (the majority in fact) but we are happier in our time together now. We each get more of what we want.
Click to expand...

First of all, its really interesting to hear about the differences in peoples LD relationships and I find it heartwarming to hear whatever the dynamics, that in the main they work really well. For someone like me who is in the early stages of one, its a great comfort.

I see a lot of myself in you Fury, though it hasn't always been that way. `

In many of my more serious RL relationships including my marriage I think it was always the case that I wanted to be with that person every hour of every day and like wench, that need was often made worse with the feeling that my partner was losing interest. In my case I think they wanted different things and saw me as being needy...and ironically I knew I was pushing them further away, yet the more they backed off, the more I clung on for dear life!

I think I learnt to my cost...when I left my husband a couple of years ago, I had lost all my friends, infact I had lost everything.
In the two years since I left I spent time getting new jobs, moving house, making new friends and repairing the damage with old ones and more importantly getting my confidence back.
Now I am in a LDR with my my Master and really happy, yet I know that if I ever moved to be near him I would never want to return to my old ways of thinking....being with him every moment of every day. He has a life and family and other interests and importantly, so do I.
I have changed a lot, and I love my independence (lol does that sound daft for a sub?!) and my new found confidence and my 'me' time.

It doesn't come naturally to me to think like that *laugh*

I think my personality will always mean I'm prevelant to those feeling...a bit like an addict really *smile*...they will always be there, but for me, I will always try to keep a balance. No one knows what happens in the future and I will never be in the situation where I was left with nothing again.
Besides I love my life now :)
 
Exogenous said:
LOL, me too! Would you like his number? just kidding. I'm coming up on the "one year anniversary" of his haivng disolved our relationship and just feeling blue. He really does have wonderful qualities and charactersitcs that I'd like in a man, Dom or otherwise. Just a shame (for me) he chickened out, so to speak.

You win some, you lose some. Hang on to the good memories and lessons learned of the wins and cut your loses. Right?
Click to expand...

That's a great attitude! I agree with you completely too. It takes a really wise person to hang onto the good memories and lessons IMO. Too often I dwell on the losses.

*hug*

Fury :rose:
 
minx1 said:
First of all, its really interesting to hear about the differences in peoples LD relationships and I find it heartwarming to hear whatever the dynamics, that in the main they work really well. For someone like me who is in the early stages of one, its a great comfort.

I see a lot of myself in you Fury, though it hasn't always been that way. `

In many of my more serious RL relationships including my marriage I think it was always the case that I wanted to be with that person every hour of every day and like wench, that need was often made worse with the feeling that my partner was losing interest. In my case I think they wanted different things and saw me as being needy...and ironically I knew I was pushing them further away, yet the more they backed off, the more I clung on for dear life!

I think I learnt to my cost...when I left my husband a couple of years ago, I had lost all my friends, infact I had lost everything.
In the two years since I left I spent time getting new jobs, moving house, making new friends and repairing the damage with old ones and more importantly getting my confidence back.
Now I am in a LDR with my my Master and really happy, yet I know that if I ever moved to be near him I would never want to return to my old ways of thinking....being with him every moment of every day. He has a life and family and other interests and importantly, so do I.
I have changed a lot, and I love my independence (lol does that sound daft for a sub?!) and my new found confidence and my 'me' time.

It doesn't come naturally to me to think like that *laugh*

I think my personality will always mean I'm prevelant to those feeling...a bit like an addict really *smile*...they will always be there, but for me, I will always try to keep a balance. No one knows what happens in the future and I will never be in the situation where I was left with nothing again.
Besides I love my life now :)
Click to expand...

Minx welcome to the independant control freak subs club. There are a few members floating around here, you'll find you're in great company. :cool:

I think there are quite a few of us around here that struggle with both our need to be independant and our submissive needs as well.

There was a time when all I wanted was for some one to sweep me up and take care of me again. But no one was comming to my rescue so to speak. I had to struggle, I had to survive, I had to learn to live on my own. I always had support from my love, and advice if I needed it, but ultimitly he was not here to help me if things got rough.

I think I'm a better me for it. I'm more social, more confident than I ever was. And I'm actually planing things for once in my life and working towards goals rather than just sitting back and hoping things come out the way I'd like them to. I'm really happy with my life now, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't drop it all if he said the word and move over there. ;)
 
Introduction

Well, I'm not exactly a newbie on Lit, but I feel that somehow I'm introducing myself from scratch.

I discovered my interest in D/s and BDSM through a LDR with someone in the US, (to be fair, we discovered a mutual interest), and from that I learnt that I also like to write. However, that relationship ended after about 5 months last Summer, and since then I had been "subless" for a while.

A little while into the new year, however, I found a new partner in kink, also based in the US. It's tough, of course, and not for the faint hearted. But, when the right person comes along and you click.... :eek:

So, with that intro, I am sure that we will be adding our own thoughts and experiences to those of everyone else on this brilliant thread. :D
 
the captians wench said:
Minx welcome to the independant control freak subs club. There are a few members floating around here, you'll find you're in great company. :cool:

I think there are quite a few of us around here that struggle with both our need to be independant and our submissive needs as well.

There was a time when all I wanted was for some one to sweep me up and take care of me again. But no one was comming to my rescue so to speak. I had to struggle, I had to survive, I had to learn to live on my own. I always had support from my love, and advice if I needed it, but ultimitly he was not here to help me if things got rough.

I think I'm a better me for it. I'm more social, more confident than I ever was. And I'm actually planing things for once in my life and working towards goals rather than just sitting back and hoping things come out the way I'd like them to. I'm really happy with my life now, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't drop it all if he said the word and move over there. ;)
Click to expand...

*laugh* Thanks wench, I already feel like a lifelong member...do I get a badge? :cathappy:

I can really empathise with you and your journey Wench and like you I think I am a much stronger person for it.
Since I left my husband...its like I've woken up, all my senses have come alive again. There's a great, wonderful life out there, so much to do and so much to see and I'm gonna get me some!
Whatsmore I know that He will support me and encourage me to explore it and I know that he will be there to share in it with me whether I'm here or with Him in Australia.
If He told me to go to him...whoosh, the words 'in a shot', spring to mind. *laugh*, though I know we wouldn't be together every single day and I'm more than happy with that.
 
Ok, deep breath. I'm somewhat new here around here. I discovered my interest in D/s not too long ago, and I lurked in this forum for a long time before posting.

FluteMaster said:
A little while into the new year, however, I found a new partner in kink, also based in the US. It's tough, of course, and not for the faint hearted. But, when the right person comes along and you click.... :eek:

So, with that intro, I am sure that we will be adding our own thoughts and experiences to those of everyone else on this brilliant thread. :D
Click to expand...

I think that's my cue. I feel very lucky to have met someone with whom I click, but not so lucky that he's so far away. So here we are.
 
intothewoods said:
I think that's my cue. I feel very lucky to have met someone with whom I click, but not so lucky that he's so far away.
Click to expand...

One day my darling, one day. :rose:
 
intothewoods, flutemaster, there are a few of us seperated by the pond. Some get to visit more often than others. It's not easy by anymeans. I remember the first phone conversasion with my Love and he asked me "what's craic?" I said "what?" :confused: Took me a while to get used to "so" being used insted of "then" as well.

After nearly 2 years I think I almost understand what he's saying 95% of the time. Unless he gets too comfortable and starts talking his normal spead, then it's "slow down love I caught about 3 words of that". *giggles*

It's hard, it sucks, but there are things that make it worth it as I'm sure you'll find out. And this is a really great support.
 
the captians wench said:
intothewoods, flutemaster, there are a few of us seperated by the pond. Some get to visit more often than others. It's not easy by anymeans. I remember the first phone conversasion with my Love and he asked me "what's craic?" I said "what?" :confused: Took me a while to get used to "so" being used insted of "then" as well.

After nearly 2 years I think I almost understand what he's saying 95% of the time. Unless he gets too comfortable and starts talking his normal spead, then it's "slow down love I caught about 3 words of that". *giggles*

It's hard, it sucks, but there are things that make it worth it as I'm sure you'll find out. And this is a really great support.
Click to expand...

*giggles* theres no beating a good bit of craic! :nana:

It's the same for me (UK) and my Master (Perth) and I love those differences so much...some of what he says still 'cracks' me up...scuse the pun!
I tease him dreadfully and he pretends to be stern with me....but I just can't help myself :devil:
 
the captians wench said:
intothewoods, flutemaster, there are a few of us seperated by the pond. Some get to visit more often than others. It's not easy by anymeans. I remember the first phone conversasion with my Love and he asked me "what's craic?" I said "what?" :confused: Took me a while to get used to "so" being used insted of "then" as well.

After nearly 2 years I think I almost understand what he's saying 95% of the time. Unless he gets too comfortable and starts talking his normal spead, then it's "slow down love I caught about 3 words of that". *giggles*

It's hard, it sucks, but there are things that make it worth it as I'm sure you'll find out. And this is a really great support.
Click to expand...

Hi CW, and many thanks for the welcome. ITW and I have talked a number of times about this thread, and it's really nice to finally make our mark here. Hopefully, in the long term, we will not only be supported but also be part of the support.

I know what you mean about the language and speech distances - not helped by crackly LD phone lines. But these are small things compared to what we have. (All we need to do is find a way to shrink that pond :cathappy: )
 
minx1 said:
*giggles* theres no beating a good bit of craic! :nana:

It's the same for me (UK) and my Master (Perth) and I love those differences so much...some of what he says still 'cracks' me up...scuse the pun!
I tease him dreadfully and he pretends to be stern with me....but I just can't help myself :devil:
Click to expand...

I love hearing how he says things. But I've always had a thing for european accents. Tho I have to admit a real irish accent and not a theater one was new on me. And no one ever prepaired me for the slang differences. With my love for rain, and accents it's not going to matter the weather, I'll spend my whole trip hot and wet....but I'm sure he won't mind. ;)

He does get a bit frusterated with me tho that I don't speak as much on the phone as I type. He tends to carry the phone conversations. I blame it on being shy, but I think I just love hearing him talk more than anything else.

And oh yes FM, the connection is always terrible. Crackly over seas connections combined with my cell calling his, makes for a terrible sound quality.....but so worth it.
 
the captians wench said:
I love hearing how he says things. But I've always had a thing for european accents. Tho I have to admit a real irish accent and not a theater one was new on me. And no one ever prepaired me for the slang differences. With my love for rain, and accents it's not going to matter the weather, I'll spend my whole trip hot and wet....but I'm sure he won't mind. ;)

He does get a bit frusterated with me tho that I don't speak as much on the phone as I type. He tends to carry the phone conversations. I blame it on being shy, but I think I just love hearing him talk more than anything else.

And oh yes FM, the connection is always terrible. Crackly over seas connections combined with my cell calling his, makes for a terrible sound quality.....but so worth it.
Click to expand...

I have always had a love of accents too, and the true Irish accent takes me back to my schooldays (Catholic education - can't beat it :rolleyes: ).

And the telephone is a strange thing in the way we hear our partners, but don't have the visual clues of the face to face conversation. When they finally get video quality web cams, I'm going to have to invest in one.

Meanwhile, it's still so good just to hear her voice, even though I prefer writing for communication.

But cellphone to cellphone?? Sheesh - that's really making things hard. :eek:
 
FluteMaster said:
I have always had a love of accents too, and the true Irish accent takes me back to my schooldays (Catholic education - can't beat it :rolleyes: ).

And the telephone is a strange thing in the way we hear our partners, but don't have the visual clues of the face to face conversation. When they finally get video quality web cams, I'm going to have to invest in one.

Meanwhile, it's still so good just to hear her voice, even though I prefer writing for communication.

But cellphone to cellphone?? Sheesh - that's really making things hard. :eek:
Click to expand...

Tell me about it. But it's all either of us own. :eek:
 
the captians wench said:
He tends to carry the phone conversations. I blame it on being shy, but I think I just love hearing him talk more than anything else.
Click to expand...

Shhh...me too, but don't tell!
 
the captians wench said:
I love hearing how he says things. But I've always had a thing for european accents. Tho I have to admit a real irish accent and not a theater one was new on me. And no one ever prepaired me for the slang differences. With my love for rain, and accents it's not going to matter the weather, I'll spend my whole trip hot and wet....but I'm sure he won't mind. ;)

He does get a bit frusterated with me tho that I don't speak as much on the phone as I type. He tends to carry the phone conversations. I blame it on being shy, but I think I just love hearing him talk more than anything else.

And oh yes FM, the connection is always terrible. Crackly over seas connections combined with my cell calling his, makes for a terrible sound quality.....but so worth it.
Click to expand...

Do you know, I can really relate to that...I was shy with him at first, though now sometimes even though I'mnot...I'm quiet just because I'm listening to his voice...the tones, the inflections..*sigh*

Funny considering the distance we don't have crackles!
 
minx1 said:
Do you know, I can really relate to that...I was shy with him at first, though now sometimes even though I'mnot...I'm quiet just because I'm listening to his voice...the tones, the inflections..*sigh*

Funny considering the distance we don't have crackles!
Click to expand...

Sometimes we pick up on a really good line and everything is clear. And I've called him a few times from a land line and it was better then too.

I love listening to his different tones. When he's being silly, or casual. Or when I'm teasing him and am getting close to that line. Or when I'm given a command. Oh how I love that last one, and can't wait until it's even more frequent. But most of all I love when he gets that tone, that top of the world totally in love tone. :heart:
 
i didnt realize before now that intothewoods and flutemaster were a couple!

belated congrats... i think its fascinating to see how the two parts of a couple interact on the furom. i cant for the life of me get A to look at lit, let alone post.
 
myinnerslut said:
i didnt realize before now that intothewoods and flutemaster were a couple!

belated congrats... i think its fascinating to see how the two parts of a couple interact on the furom. i cant for the life of me get A to look at lit, let alone post.
Click to expand...

*giggles*

I can't get Jounar out of the AM pics :p
 
myinnerslut said:
i didnt realize before now that intothewoods and flutemaster were a couple!

belated congrats... i think its fascinating to see how the two parts of a couple interact on the furom. i cant for the life of me get A to look at lit, let alone post.
Click to expand...

Shucks -thanks MIS, but we have been keeping it under wraps until now, so you haven't been missing anything. ;)
 
myinnerslut said:
i didnt realize before now that intothewoods and flutemster were a couple!

belated congrats... i think its fascinating to see how the two parts of a couple interact on the furom. i cant for the life of me get A to look at lit, let alone post.
Click to expand...

yeah congrats Itw and FM. :)

My Master is the same myinnerslut, funny considering we met here *laugh*
He comes on very rarely...the last time was about a month ago.

Though I know its because of the limited time we get together....he says when we have the time he wants to spend it with me and not here! :)
 
the captians wench said:
*giggles*

I can't get Jounar out of the AM pics :p
Click to expand...

*giggle* When my Master does come on...he's in the stories section! Though I reckon he peeps at the pics! :catroar:
 
minx1 said:
Though I know its because of the limited time we get together....he says when we have the time he wants to spend it with me and not here! :)
Click to expand...

A once said that this was my place to vent, to learn, adn to feel free to express my opinions without fearing his reaction or editing myself due to his presence
 
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