Conversation

[twiddlw]

I would agree with this, once the initial connection is made, it can take a while to figure out what makes the other person tick, and what offends.. i suppose the reactions to questions , and the manner in which questions are put develops overtime, if at all.

Whether or not there is an agenda behind the conversation can also have a bearing. Like, what are you hoping to get out of it once a connection has been established? is the mutual, or not?

I definitely think, particularly from the recipients perspective, that the timing of a newly received PM from a new source can determine whether or not a reply will be sent.

Someone casually browsing with no intent, or just checking on threads they follow, may balk at the new PM and ignore, or just give a cursory response, and then forget about it. It's also possible the a PM arriving at the right time for the same person may illicit a completely different response. Such as, is that person horny when said PM arrives, are they just there to check on thread they follow, are they in a good/bad mood or place, or are just simple not interested in you, or did you just happen to catch them at the wrong time.

 

[The_gladiator]

I would agree with this, once the initial connection is made, it can take a while to figure out what makes the other person tick, and what offends.. i suppose the reactions to questions , and the manner in which questions are put develops overtime, if at all.

Whether or not there is an agenda behind the conversation can also have a bearing. Like, what are you hoping to get out of it once a connection has been established? is the mutual, or not?

I definitely think, particularly from the recipients perspective, that the timing of a newly received PM from a new source can determine whether or not a reply will be sent.

Someone casually browsing with no intent, or just checking on threads they follow, may balk at the new PM and ignore, or just give a cursory response, and then forget about it. It's also possible the a PM arriving at the right time for the same person may illicit a completely different response. Such as, is that person horny when said PM arrives, are they just there to check on thread they follow, are they in a good/bad mood or place, or are just simple not interested in you, or did you just happen to catch them at the wrong time.

So in a sense there's a degree of luck involved in it too.

 

[rlaflamme]

So in a sense there's a degree of luck involved in it too.

I think there is a lot of luck involved in finding people to have a decent conversation with. You never know where someone is in their life and how they will respond.

 

[Daddyb34r]

My inbox is always open.

 

[Froya]

With this comes the thoughts of the one receiving the message, do they let it go and continue, with the chance of it reoccurring happening? Do they let the sender know how they perceived it? Or, do they say, "Forget it" and end the conversation.

You had some good answers and things to say in your full post, so I'm just paring it down to your questions.

With this, I think it matters what the offense is and to what degree it's actually offensive. Even with a fairly short acquaintance, you generally have some feel of intent or attitude from the person you're messaging with. If it's a bit of a playful conversation, but it takes a wrong turn, then you can be pretty sure the other person didn't intend to misstep.

If it's a challenging conversation, then perhaps the person does intend to provoke.

And sometimes, you're meandering along rather pleasantly, when someone completely sideswipes you with a statement or question that doesn't fit the mood or history of the conversation at all.

I will generally respond to someone in most situations, unless the offense is one that I feel is deserving nothing more than silence and a block.

 

[Froya]

One nice thing about a relationship with a controlling lady is she helps correct the things that are wrong.

It is in the best interest of both people in the relationship to speak up, address anything that they are concerned about, and to make adjustments when able.

 

[Froya]

I would agree with this, once the initial connection is made, it can take a while to figure out what makes the other person tick, and what offends.. i suppose the reactions to questions , and the manner in which questions are put develops overtime, if at all.

Whether or not there is an agenda behind the conversation can also have a bearing. Like, what are you hoping to get out of it once a connection has been established? is the mutual, or not?

I definitely think, particularly from the recipients perspective, that the timing of a newly received PM from a new source can determine whether or not a reply will be sent.

Someone casually browsing with no intent, or just checking on threads they follow, may balk at the new PM and ignore, or just give a cursory response, and then forget about it. It's also possible the a PM arriving at the right time for the same person may illicit a completely different response. Such as, is that person horny when said PM arrives, are they just there to check on thread they follow, are they in a good/bad mood or place, or are just simple not interested in you, or did you just happen to catch them at the wrong time.

Very much yes to all of this. No matter what you're putting out, or how well you think you're doing it, it's how and when it's received that really determines what will follow.

 

[Froya]

This likely has been mentioned before I started popping in here, but it's just crossed my mind.

How much does someone's username affect your perception of them?

 

[Midwest50Guy]

This likely has been mentioned before I started popping in here, but it's just crossed my mind.

How much does someone's username affect your perception of them?

not much for me.

i think some people would like a doover.

i would rather base my perception on the person inside, instead of a username or picture.

 

[rlaflamme]

This likely has been mentioned before I started popping in here, but it's just crossed my mind.

How much does someone's username affect your perception of them?

We hit on this a little some time ago. I think that a name that is kind of crude can make someone less likely to reply, but I can't say for sure.

My profile photo used to be Marvin having sex with a woman and when I changed it to just Marvin I seemed to be received by those I messaged better. It could be I got luckier with those I messaged, but I tend to lean toward the profile photo change had something to do with it.

I also think that names that can be perceived as sexual are more likely to get PMs of a sexual nature. But, again I cannot say for sure as I wouldn't know would I? I know I tend to steer clear of "sexual" names for a few reasons, I am looking for conversations here more than a cyber buddy, also, I know ladies are likely to have a bunch of PMs every day and the ones with those names are likely even more bombarded. I want a message I send to be read not just clumped in a pile of, "Yup, there's another one."

 

[twiddlw]

I must admit, i never really gave it that much thought when coming up with a name. The one I use is derived from a speling mistoke... it actually never occurred to me to create one with an innuendo or some sort of subtext hinting at any agenda or sexual leanings my part

I suppose its a given that the ladies here receive far more in the way of unsolicited PMs than the men do. I wonder how many are just binned based on username alone...

 

[Tenderkiss]

For me my name respresents what I miss and what I am good at. However, it seems to be viewed as feminine.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

I must admit, i never really gave it that much thought when coming up with a name. The one I use is derived from a speling mistoke... it actually never occurred to me to create one with an innuendo or some sort of subtext hinting at any agenda or sexual leanings my part

I suppose its a given that the ladies here receive far more in the way of unsolicited PMs than the men do. I wonder how many are just binned based on username alone...

I wouldn’t bin anyone based on username alone, but a more interesting one will tug on my curiosity... and that’s nothing to do with innuendo or sexual leanings... some of the best names have nothing to do with sex...

 

[The_gladiator]

Sometimes I wish I could have a name do over, but as someone who gets asked about my username a lot it sometimes can start conversations so that's not bad. So overall a mixed blessing.

 

[rlaflamme]

I think that trying to start a conversation with someone also has a lot to do with looking at who you are writing to. There are people you will see on the forums that you see that obviously have a group of friends here that they "travel" with. It might be a bit difficult to get into that "clique" in the forum or in messages, so trying to might not generate anything.

Also looking at what people are looking for. If I message someone that has stated they only want to talk to women, well, I should expect nothing, maybe a message telling me I need to learn how to read lol.

I think people just message without thinking of what they are typing or who they are messaging and then getting "bummed out" because they are failing to make connections. Thin about who you are messaging and think of what you want to say before you send in initial message to and you might have better replies.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

I think that trying to start a conversation with someone also has a lot to do with looking at who you are writing to. There are people you will see on the forums that you see that obviously have a group of friends here that they "travel" with. It might be a bit difficult to get into that "clique" in the forum or in messages, so trying to might not generate anything.

Also looking at what people are looking for. If I message someone that has stated they only want to talk to women, well, I should expect nothing, maybe a message telling me I need to learn how to read lol.

I think people just message without thinking of what they are typing or who they are messaging and then getting "bummed out" because they are failing to make connections. Thin about who you are messaging and think of what you want to say before you send in initial message to and you might have better replies.

I think you nailed it with your last paragraph

A lady here has told me about some of the messages she has received from men here the past few days.

Most of them will not get you very far. They wlll make you shake your head.

The ladies here get tons and tons of mail. So they get to be very picky on who they respond to.

If you don't stand out or at least make them a little curious, you won't get very far.

And once you have their attention, sometimes it is harder to keep it for the same reason.

as for your Clique comment, that may have more to do with time than anything else. There is only so much time in the day to answer pm's and if she is messaging five people on a regular basis for example, she won't have time to answer yours.

Its an uphill battle for sure for men here, but it is doable. You have to be patient and not take rejection personally.

 

[The_gladiator]

I think that trying to start a conversation with someone also has a lot to do with looking at who you are writing to. There are people you will see on the forums that you see that obviously have a group of friends here that they "travel" with. It might be a bit difficult to get into that "clique" in the forum or in messages, so trying to might not generate anything.

Also looking at what people are looking for. If I message someone that has stated they only want to talk to women, well, I should expect nothing, maybe a message telling me I need to learn how to read lol.

I think people just message without thinking of what they are typing or who they are messaging and then getting "bummed out" because they are failing to make connections. Thin about who you are messaging and think of what you want to say before you send in initial message to and you might have better replies.

With the clique thing, i try to respond to everyone. But I know some people don't have that kind of time with all the messages they get. And if I am with a group of friends there's usually room for more if they fit in and can get along.

 

[BootieKittie]

I think you nailed it with your last paragraph

A lady here has told me about some of the messages she has received from men here the past few days.

Most of them will not get you very far. They wlll make you shake your head.

The ladies here get tons and tons of mail. So they get to be very picky on who they respond to.

If you don't stand out or at least make them a little curious, you won't get very far.

And once you have their attention, sometimes it is harder to keep it for the same reason.

as for your Clique comment, that may have more to do with time than anything else. There is only so much time in the day to answer pm's and if she is messaging five people on a regular basis for example, she won't have time to answer yours.

Its an uphill battle for sure for men here, but it is doable. You have to be patient and not take rejection personally.

I concur

 

[base10]

I concur

It's no different than anything else, there is a low percentage of people you are going to align with. But after being patient through all the shit, sometimes someone incredibly special emerges. It's worth the patience and the rejection.

 

[Froya]

To answer my own question from above, if hothardhorny69 shows up in my inbox with a friendly message, I will respond in kind, but I will also be more wary, probably for a longer period of time. At some point in his life, he chose to call himself that for a reason, and it probably wasn't because he he really wanted to get to know people.

 

[Froya]

Though the odds may be in the favor of women here, just as a numbers thing, it can also feel like an uphill battle for us, too. It certainly has for me, at times.

When it seems like 5 out of 6 conversations go from "hello" to "show me your tits" in the span of a few messages, it can really wear you down. Not many men who have wandered into my inbox on their own have done so because they wanted a conversation with a person. Sometimes, the men I've chosen to message, because they seemed like they'd be capable of conversation in public posts, show a completely different side, quite uninvited, in private messages.

 

[rlaflamme]

Though the odds may be in the favor of women here, just as a numbers thing, it can also feel like an uphill battle for us, too. It certainly has for me, at times.

When it seems like 5 out of 6 conversations go from "hello" to "show me your tits" in the span of a few messages, it can really wear you down. Not many men who have wandered into my inbox on their own have done so because they wanted a conversation with a person. Sometimes, the men I've chosen to message, because they seemed like they'd be capable of conversation in public posts, show a completely different side, quite uninvited, in private messages.

I have no doubt about that! I have mentioned something about that before. When do ladies just stop looking at messages because they have been flooded with "show me your tits" type messages and are just done.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

Though the odds may be in the favor of women here, just as a numbers thing, it can also feel like an uphill battle for us, too. It certainly has for me, at times.

When it seems like 5 out of 6 conversations go from "hello" to "show me your tits" in the span of a few messages, it can really wear you down. Not many men who have wandered into my inbox on their own have done so because they wanted a conversation with a person. Sometimes, the men I've chosen to message, because they seemed like they'd be capable of conversation in public posts, show a completely different side, quite uninvited, in private messages.

One of my female friends got a message from a nice guy today. She wrote back and the 2nd message she received was a full nude photo of him totally unsoliticed.

You can probably guess what happened, Instant block. I guess he felt she was now obligated to show herself.

Hopefully the guys reading this thread can learn from the huge
Mistake here.

As for girls sending out unsolicited nudes, only happened to me once here and I threw her back into the dating pool. Just figured it was a dude pretending to be a lady.

Assuming none of the ladies here do that .

 

[rlaflamme]

One of my female friends got a message from a nice guy today. She wrote back and the 2nd message she received was a full nude photo of him totally unsoliticed.

You can probably guess what happened, Instant block. I guess he felt she was now obligated to show herself.

Hopefully the guys reading this thread can learn from the huge
Mistake here.

As for girls sending out unsolicited nudes, only happened to me once here and I threw her back into the dating pool. Just figured it was a dude pretending to be a lady.

Assuming none of the ladies here do that .

I have heard about that happening to women and often wonder if the sender really thinks that makes it so they will get one. Maybe it has worked for them before, I don't know.

I have never received a nude from a lady in a message, and am not sure what I would do if I did lol.

 

[Froya]

One of my female friends got a message from a nice guy today. She wrote back and the 2nd message she received was a full nude photo of him totally unsoliticed.

You can probably guess what happened, Instant block. I guess he felt she was now obligated to show herself.

Hopefully the guys reading this thread can learn from the huge
Mistake here.

I've told men, right up front, that I'm not into swapping pictures. They say okay, but then they continue to nudge continually. Sometimes they'll link a picture of themselves, as incentive. You know, I can see how that kind of pressure might work on some women, particularly the "I've shown you me, it's only fair" tactic.

Not everyone has the same barrier system, and some will feel pressured and want someone to like them enough that they'll give in to it.