Gentlemen: Can you explain the appeal of cuckolding?

[scott6251]

I was cuckolded by my first wife because of my inability to sexually satisfy her with my abnormally small penis. I could make her orgasm orally whenever she wanted, but she missed being penetrated by a virile man's cock. I found this out after she had been having affairs with various men for quite a while. I was very hurt by her deception and we ended up divorcing even though I would get extremely aroused when I imagined her fucking and sucking her studs and still do. In retrospect, I should have accepted her infidelities and enjoyed having a desirous hotwife. I shouldn't have been surprised by her behavior since I knew she had a reputation of being a slut before we were married. It's what excited me about her in the first place. I've been a cocksucker since my teenage years and maybe she would have agreed to let me blow her boyfriends while she watched.

Hot post. Have you stayed in touch with her?

 

[ThirdShift]

I've been reading through this thread, and I want to point something out.

My husband and I have been living the cuckold lifestyle for over 15 years. The bull is the insecure one, not the cuckold. I've never met an insecure cuckold in my life, and I've met a lot of them!

I don't mean that every bull is insecure, but most are. On the other hand, you can't be a cuckold AND be insecure. It's impossible.

Could you elaborate?

 

[sterculius]

Hot post. Have you stayed in touch with her?

Our marriage produced 3 children, the last one wasn't mine (but I love her also), so we have had to keep in touch. Surprisingly, she and my present wife get along well. I wonder if they discuss my inadequate equipment.

 

[Prasa]

Because some of us girls are wondering.

Thank you!

NO. many girls are not wondering but insist on their husband or lover to perform it for them.
i dont know why. sure to admit that much of cuckolding are happening only on the guidance of girls.

 

[littlecordelera]

Could you elaborate?

First of all, I shouldn't have said, "most." That's probably not true, but many. And many bulls (I hate that term) view having sex with another guy's wife as some sort of accomplishment. And the thought of their wife having sex with another guy is completely out of the question. That's insecurity. Doesn't make it a bad thing, necessarily, we all have insecurities, but it is what it is.

A cuckold hopes his wife will do other guys, and more than that, he hopes the other guy will do his wife well, better than he can, in fact. He does not fear the situation, he encourages it. To suggest that a cuckold is a cuckold because of some deep seated insecurity makes no sense at all.

 

[AT69TA]

well. as I age and the parts don't work like they use to. I often fantasize about a cuckold situation. In my head I think it's because I know I can't service her like I use to and think she deserves a long, thick hard cock to make her cum. I do however like to fuck in front of a mirror, so maybe watching her get fucked is in my subconscious that I enjoy. would it ever happen in RL? NO WAY...but when I'm alone with my eyes closed....it's a nice fantasy to have.
Just my views.

 

[scott6251]

First of all, I shouldn't have said, "most." That's probably not true, but many. And many bulls (I hate that term) view having sex with another guy's wife as some sort of accomplishment. And the thought of their wife having sex with another guy is completely out of the question. That's insecurity. Doesn't make it a bad thing, necessarily, we all have insecurities, but it is what it is.

A cuckold hopes his wife will do other guys, and more than that, he hopes the other guy will do his wife well, better than he can, in fact. He does not fear the situation, he encourages it. To suggest that a cuckold is a cuckold because of some deep seated insecurity makes no sense at all.

Well said

 

[policywank]

First of all, I shouldn't have said, "most." That's probably not true, but many. And many bulls (I hate that term) view having sex with another guy's wife as some sort of accomplishment. And the thought of their wife having sex with another guy is completely out of the question. That's insecurity. Doesn't make it a bad thing, necessarily, we all have insecurities, but it is what it is.

A cuckold hopes his wife will do other guys, and more than that, he hopes the other guy will do his wife well, better than he can, in fact. He does not fear the situation, he encourages it. To suggest that a cuckold is a cuckold because of some deep seated insecurity makes no sense at all.

The reasons why a cuckold wants to see his wife fucked by other guys varies, but I think it usually involves a positive attitude towards supporting her pleasure. That starts with the understanding that she desires and can achieve sexual pleasure with other men - they may be better than the cuckold but not necessarily so. They could be just different.

Men recognize that even if they are married to a woman who is a great lover they can still have desire for other woman. Yet many men somehow seem to believe the opposite can't be true - that the wife of a man who is a good lover will not have desire for other men. That isn't true and cuckolds are mentally and emotionally strong enough to recognize it.

If this is not the case they are likely to have problems.

The premise that the cuckold is "lesser" is rooted in male self delusions or need to control. A woman may remain monogamous for any number of good reasons but it isn't often because her husband is such a stud she could never desire another. Pretending a wife's sexual desires don't exist doesn't make a husband any more of a man.

Consider that "bull" that LC makes reference to. His wife having sex with another man might be out of the question......but there is a good chance that she wants to. Maybe she wants to ride a different bull or maybe she wants to try someone who makes better conversation. The bull is the one whose dick is blocking his truth receptors.

 

[littlecordelera]

The premise that the cuckold is "lesser" is rooted in male self delusions or need to control.

I agree on everything else you said in this post, but we will have to disagree on the above comment. Many of these guys are "lesser" in the bedroom, and my husband will be the first to admit. It's why he and they have come to embrace cuckold, and it further supports the idea that you can't be insecure and a cuckold. These guys have come to accept the facts as they are, and they have learned to turn it into a win-win situation. I admire their courage.

 

[policywank]

I agree on everything else you said in this post, but we will have to disagree on the above comment. Many of these guys are "lesser" in the bedroom, and my husband will be the first to admit. It's why he and they have come to embrace cuckold, and it further supports the idea that you can't be insecure and a cuckold. These guys have come to accept the facts as they are, and they have learned to turn it into a win-win situation. I admire their courage.

I am not sure we disagree. Many cuckolds are "lesser" in the bedroom. I am just saying that isn't necessarily so - its possible that she just wants more or variety. I augment my sexual experiences with other men but if I found myself married to any of those men I would still seek others - it is not like a specific level of "performance" would suddenly make me monogamous.

 

[AlmostLike]

I agree on everything else you said in this post, but we will have to disagree on the above comment. Many of these guys are "lesser" in the bedroom, and my husband will be the first to admit. It's why he and they have come to embrace cuckold, and it further supports the idea that you can't be insecure and a cuckold. These guys have come to accept the facts as they are, and they have learned to turn it into a win-win situation. I admire their courage.

I am not sure we disagree. Many cuckolds are "lesser" in the bedroom. I am just saying that isn't necessarily so - its possible that she just wants more or variety.

Intrigued by what each of you ladies mean by "lesser".

For example, if we are talking size of cock - that is mere genetics. Nothing a man can do (outside of surgery) to change that. Size, in my humble opinion, is not really an indicator of anything. For neither the small nor the hung did anything to for or against to have the size.

For me, it's like judging a woman on her breast size - it's irrelevant. Since again the woman has done nothing to achieve a certain breast size.

If then, by "lesser" is referring to bedroom skills - then that is something that can be learned to be 'better'.

The reason I ask, is because it seems to suggest that a cuckold is regulated to that status based on being "lesser".

I also wonder, how the historical racism plays into the cuckold relationship of a black bull. The term itself "bull" is inherently racist referring to an animal of servitude.

 

[policywank]

Intrigued by what each of you ladies mean by "lesser".

For example, if we are talking size of cock - that is mere genetics. Nothing a man can do (outside of surgery) to change that. Size, in my humble opinion, is not really an indicator of anything. For neither the small nor the hung did anything to for or against to have the size.

For me, it's like judging a woman on her breast size - it's irrelevant. Since again the woman has done nothing to achieve a certain breast size.

If then, by "lesser" is referring to bedroom skills - then that is something that can be learned to be 'better'.

The reason I ask, is because it seems to suggest that a cuckold is regulated to that status based on being "lesser".

I also wonder, how the historical racism plays into the cuckold relationship of a black bull. The term itself "bull" is inherently racist referring to an animal of servitude.

I find the general premise of "greater" or "lesser" in sexual matters to be odd. It's not a speed race or weight lifting competition which can be judged by a single precise measurement.

Cock size is often the implicit measuring stick (pun intended) but any woman will tell you it is more complicated than that. Size matters at the extremes but it certainly isn't the only criteria.

Whether bedroom skills can be learned is an interesting discussion. Yes they can, but some people seem to have more natural ability and some couples seem to have more chemistry. Bad sports metaphor.... but while we can all learn to throw a football we can't all be Tom Brady or work together like the Patriots.

I resist the "lesser" discussion because I don't see it as being that linear or simple. I have craved a big cocked guy, enjoyed fucking him then couldn't wait to leave his apartment. On that night I might have been craving big dick kind of the same way I sometimes crave McDonalds fries. That doesn't mean I regard a big dick meathead as better than my husband any more than I regard McDonalds as better than fine dining. It just means my appetites are complex.

That isn't so hard to understand. Remember JFK. A powerful president with a beautiful wife. But he was banging Marilyn Monroe. Was she better as a sex partner. Maybe. Or maybe Jackie Kennedy gave the best blowjobs around and took it in the ass like a champ. But what guy wouldn't fuck Marilyn? Does that make Jackie "lesser".......and if not what is the difference from a cuckold aside from gender.

Personally I think of the term "bull" as referring to a dominant male within the species as opposed to an animal of servitude. I suppose either could be inferred or both. But if not for gender stereotypes the bull would be no different than the bimbo mistress - a one dimensional fuck toy to be used and tossed aside.

 

[littlecordelera]

Intrigued by what each of you ladies mean by "lesser".

For example, if we are talking size of cock - that is mere genetics. Nothing a man can do (outside of surgery) to change that. Size, in my humble opinion, is not really an indicator of anything. For neither the small nor the hung did anything to for or against to have the size.

For me, it's like judging a woman on her breast size - it's irrelevant. Since again the woman has done nothing to achieve a certain breast size.

If then, by "lesser" is referring to bedroom skills - then that is something that can be learned to be 'better'.

The reason I ask, is because it seems to suggest that a cuckold is regulated to that status based on being "lesser".

I also wonder, how the historical racism plays into the cuckold relationship of a black bull. The term itself "bull" is inherently racist referring to an animal of servitude.

I'm not into the whole "black bull" thing, so I will refrain from commenting on that topic.

When I said, "lesser," I mean lesser in the bedroom, but I don't measure the whole person based on a single talent or the lack thereof.

Nevertheless, a cuckold is relegated to the status of being lesser (in the bedroom). That's exactly what he wants. That dynamic is the most fundamental characteristic of the whole cuckold lifestyle!

 

[policywank]

When I am with a lover my cuckold is relegated in that he is either not participating at all or is playing a lesser role.

I do not think of my lovers as bulls and there is no racial element to how I choose my lovers.

But I also have sex with my husband when it is just the two of us and do not regard or treat him as a lesser lover than the others.

I have sex with other men but he doesn't have sex with other women. We both acknowledge that when it comes to sex he is lesser to me - in terms of appetite, capacity and ability to manage multiple lovers. And I call the shots in our sex life. But he is as good of a lover as any and I personally don't believe that means he is any less a cuckold.

Likewise my reasons for seeking other men are variety and my husband's own predilections and acceptance of my sex life - he likes seeing and knowing I am with other men. A search for "better" lovers is not my motivation. Again I don't think that makes him any less a cuckold.

He is a cuckold because his wife has sex with other men and he does not have reciprocal privileges with other women (otherwise it would be an open relationship).

 

[nvarras7]

Inexperienced wife.

Growing up in the States I started early and have had a generally full sex life. I had lots of exexperiences and met an older woman who taught me a lot. I was 22 she was a divorced 34. I'm not self conscious about sex at all and don't feel inadequate in any way. I don't think it's about inadequacy for me.
I have married a beautiful Greek woman who has not had much experience. I've been a bit frustrated by boring vanilla sex but so happy with the rest of our marriage of 15 years that I have been satisfied and faithful. I saw some cuck stuff on Tumblr and became infatuated with it. It's all I think about some days. My wife has been opening up to some new things lately like light femdom and facesitting. She even likes that I sniff her panties now. Turning 40 did wonders for her.
So I approached her about cuckholding and got shut down. She's had lots of offers at work. Instead of making me jealous it turns me on that lots of guys find her hot. She works with the public and gets asked out regularly. Id like her to have more experience, now that she's opened her mind to new thing's I thought it would broaden her horizons. The thought of her having sex ,with me or someone else drives me crazy also. She says she needs to have feelings for someone to have sex. I get it, she doesn't want to endanger our marriage. Don't get me wrong, if I found out she was having sex without my knowledge it would be totally different, it would end in divorce. I don't totally understand it, but I've never tied love and sex together, she has apparently. Honesty is my only sticking point.
Because cock size has been brought up I'm about 7 inches and on the thick side, not huge, but certainly not something to be shy about. When I do fantasize about her and someone else he has a huge cock, and most of the time he's black.
No, I'm not gay or hiding it. I come from an open background and in my circles coming out would be cool with friends and family. I love women, always have. I've wondered what it would be like to have sex with a man at times but more in the way of a fetish, but never found a guy I was attracted to enough when I was single. I don't completely understand why I get so turned on by it, that's why I'm reading this post and putting my own experience out there.
Last edit, an open relationship isn't something I think about, I know my wife would never accept it and I'm ok with that. She's hot, and while not too adventurous she's started making efforts to remedy that. This came about a few months ago after a blowout we had about trying new things.

 

[ThirdShift]

Growing up in the States I started early and have had a generally full sex life. I had lots of exexperiences and met an older woman who taught me a lot. I was 22 she was a divorced 34. I'm not self conscious about sex at all and don't feel inadequate in any way. I don't think it's about inadequacy for me.
I have married a beautiful Greek woman who has not had much experience. I've been a bit frustrated by boring vanilla sex but so happy with the rest of our marriage of 15 years that I have been satisfied and faithful. I saw some cuck stuff on Tumblr and became infatuated with it. It's all I think about some days. My wife has been opening up to some new things lately like light femdom and facesitting. She even likes that I sniff her panties now. Turning 40 did wonders for her.
So I approached her about cuckholding and got shut down. She's had lots of offers at work. Instead of making me jealous it turns me on that lots of guys find her hot. She works with the public and gets asked out regularly. Id like her to have more experience, now that she's opened her mind to new thing's I thought it would broaden her horizons. The thought of her having sex ,with me or someone else drives me crazy also. She says she needs to have feelings for someone to have sex. I get it, she doesn't want to endanger our marriage. Don't get me wrong, if I found out she was having sex without my knowledge it would be totally different, it would end in divorce. I don't totally understand it, but I've never tied love and sex together, she has apparently.

If I may ask, if you don't tie love and sex together, why would it end in divorce?

 

[nvarras7]

If I may ask, if you don't tie love and sex together, why would it end in divorce?

Trust, honesty and knowing it was something we were doing together makes all the difference to me. Might sound weird but my wife doing it without my knowledge would kill it. Spending our savings behind my back would do the same, just to give you an idea. I don't pretend to know why I do everything, part of why I posted was to try and understand myself.

 

[AlmostLike]

When I am with a lover my cuckold is relegated in that he is either not participating at all or is playing a lesser role.

I do not think of my lovers as bulls and there is no racial element to how I choose my lovers.

But I also have sex with my husband when it is just the two of us and do not regard or treat him as a lesser lover than the others.

I have sex with other men but he doesn't have sex with other women. We both acknowledge that when it comes to sex he is lesser to me - in terms of appetite, capacity and ability to manage multiple lovers. And I call the shots in our sex life. But he is as good of a lover as any and I personally don't believe that means he is any less a cuckold.

Likewise my reasons for seeking other men are variety and my husband's own predilections and acceptance of my sex life - he likes seeing and knowing I am with other men. A search for "better" lovers is not my motivation. Again I don't think that makes him any less a cuckold.

He is a cuckold because his wife has sex with other men and he does not have reciprocal privileges with other women (otherwise it would be an open relationship).

So why not just be in an open relationship? And if he chooses not to have other lovers it would be what you currently have.

 

[littlecordelera]

Growing up in the States I started early and have had a generally full sex life. I had lots of exexperiences and met an older woman who taught me a lot. I was 22 she was a divorced 34. I'm not self conscious about sex at all and don't feel inadequate in any way. I don't think it's about inadequacy for me.
I have married a beautiful Greek woman who has not had much experience. I've been a bit frustrated by boring vanilla sex but so happy with the rest of our marriage of 15 years that I have been satisfied and faithful. I saw some cuck stuff on Tumblr and became infatuated with it. It's all I think about some days. My wife has been opening up to some new things lately like light femdom and facesitting. She even likes that I sniff her panties now. Turning 40 did wonders for her.
So I approached her about cuckholding and got shut down. She's had lots of offers at work. Instead of making me jealous it turns me on that lots of guys find her hot. She works with the public and gets asked out regularly. Id like her to have more experience, now that she's opened her mind to new thing's I thought it would broaden her horizons. The thought of her having sex ,with me or someone else drives me crazy also. She says she needs to have feelings for someone to have sex. I get it, she doesn't want to endanger our marriage. Don't get me wrong, if I found out she was having sex without my knowledge it would be totally different, it would end in divorce. I don't totally understand it, but I've never tied love and sex together, she has apparently. Honesty is my only sticking point.
Because cock size has been brought up I'm about 7 inches and on the thick side, not huge, but certainly not something to be shy about. When I do fantasize about her and someone else he has a huge cock, and most of the time he's black.
No, I'm not gay or hiding it. I come from an open background and in my circles coming out would be cool with friends and family. I love women, always have. I've wondered what it would be like to have sex with a man at times but more in the way of a fetish, but never found a guy I was attracted to enough when I was single. I don't completely understand why I get so turned on by it, that's why I'm reading this post and putting my own experience out there.
Last edit, an open relationship isn't something I think about, I know my wife would never accept it and I'm ok with that. She's hot, and while not too adventurous she's started making efforts to remedy that. This came about a few months ago after a blowout we had about trying new things.

What you've described is called swinging, not cuckolding. A guy who is aroused by feeling less capable than his wife's lover is a cuckold. A guy who feels equal or better than his wife's lover is just another swinger.

 

[Prasa]

yes , you can see her but you cant have her,
but thats the beginning point of cuckold too.

 

[gtnlynn]

I can't explain why I liked it when it happened, but it was an exciting time for my wife and me. She did it with my permission as long as it was safe and she told me all about her experiences. It worked out well for us, but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who isn't secure in their relationship.

 

[need2cumbadly]

Enjoyed watching this Amateur Cuckold video this morning very enjoyable indeed
https://xhamster.com/videos/wife-fucked-in-the-proper-way-by-a-friend-7037610

 

[Ramone45]

The humiliation is a big part of the appeal for me. A husband should be able to satisfy his wife and keep her happy. She should have no desire for another man because her husband pleases her so much.
Clearly, she needs lover(s) for her sexual gratification.
She needs me for emotional and financial support.
We are honest about it at least.
In terms of love, she always comes back to me.
She knows how I feel about my inability to satisfy her sexually and she is sensitive,but she won't deprive herself, either. That's OK with me.

 

[scott6251]

I can't explain why I liked it when it happened, but it was an exciting time for my wife and me. She did it with my permission as long as it was safe and she told me all about her experiences. It worked out well for us, but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who isn't secure in their relationship.

If it ever happens for us, it will be because I can't satisfy her like I used to be able to, and I want her to be excited. The idea started when she had a bf when we had temporarily split up. I hated the thought of her having sex with someone else at first, but once we got back together, I could see where it had been good for her.

Because of health issues, I can't stay as hard for very long anymore. The bf could. It's as simple as that.When we've talked about their relationship, it's obvious the sex was good. She doesn't miss him - they didn't get along at the end - but she misses his sexual performance. I can't duplicate that. I also get very aroused hearing about it. She sees that, and that in turn seems to turn her on.

I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as I knew about it, and she told me everything.

 

[SlutAddicted]

What you've described is called swinging, not cuckolding. A guy who is aroused by feeling less capable than his wife's lover is a cuckold. A guy who feels equal or better than his wife's lover is just another swinger.

The definition of cuckold is a guy whose wife is fucking other men. In the dictionary definition he is assumed to be humiliated or unaware..... not aroused. And it doesn't speak to her motivation. As has been stated here before it came into use during a time when monogamy was the norm and the possibility of an accepting husband was not even considered.

In modern times we have come to understand that the husband may be quite accepting and aroused by the prospect. But we are talking about an evolving fetish/alternative lifestyle now which is not clearly defined. Whether the cuckold is aroused by his wife's activity and if so whether that is due to his own sense of inadequacy or an appreciation of her sexual liberty or any number of other possibilities is unique to each couple.

Meanwhile swinger is a more established term that generally refers to a couple that both seek other partners.

I respect all points of view. Certainly many people who are into cuckolding regard the husband's lesser sexual status as a key aspect of the lifestyle. But the modern usage of the term has clearly evolved beyond the historical dictionary definition and in my view is still evolving. A plurality of porn sites isn't really the benchmark.

The notion has some parallels to BDSM. People experienced in this area do not accept universal definitions of what it is to be a true Dom or a true Sub - and rightly so. My cuckold status is not dependent upon how others regard my sentiments or my wife's motivations.