Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Cockblocker.

Come now - you must post this word here: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=791226 with your own definition of course.

 

[cowslinger64]

Anytime, man! High five! Well... maybe high five later...

FAG

Hahaha.

What the hell is - faps - ? I've read fans compulsively, but I don't see you as a "fanning" yourself type of guy.


Please, you'd embrace the Exhibitionism of it all and love it.

There is nothing about miles pulling his pud and smiling like a mental patient, that I love...or would love, I should say!!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

FAG

There is nothing about miles pulling his pud and smiling like a mental patient, that I love...or would love, I should say!!

*chuckles*

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

*yawn*

u want to get dirty?

hi there RedHairedandFriendly u want to chat a little bit babe? my long hard rod is ready to imagine your soft wet tight pussy gripping my throbbing cock...

You know, I am 100% sure a lot of this shit shows up from folks that know I have this thread and are just giving me crap to post. Thanks for that I guess. But wow you go through a lot of trouble creating an alt for a single PM that will never see more than this thread. You really need a life - dumbass.

 

[TexasWife25]

*yawn*

u want to get dirty?

hi there RedHairedandFriendly u want to chat a little bit babe? my long hard rod is ready to imagine your soft wet tight pussy gripping my throbbing cock...

You know, I am 100% sure a lot of this shit shows up from folks that know I have this thread and are just giving me crap to post. Thanks for that I guess. But wow you go through a lot of trouble creating an alt for a single PM that will never see more than this thread. You really need a life - dumbass.

LOL

The volume of PM's I get are

Hi I'm (insert name here)
Saw you on, I'm (insert meaningless facts about myself)
Id love to (cyber, talk dirty, sext, cam)
Hope to hear from you


Not even worth posting on here....

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

LOL

The volume of PM's I get are

Hi I'm (insert name here)
Saw you on, I'm (insert meaningless facts about myself)
Id love to (cyber, talk dirty, sext, cam)
Hope to hear from you


Not even worth posting on here....

You know those are eyerolling ones, but better than the shit I get sometimes. Why? Why? Why? So what if I have fuckin' red hair! And I am a friendly person! Dumb ass, short-cocked, dick heads.

 

[fathom7]

Dumb ass, short-cocked, dick heads.

*raises hand*

OOOPS -- Sorry. Thought you were taking roll. Sheesh.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

*raises hand*

OOOPS -- Sorry. Thought you were taking roll. Sheesh.

Yeah, right.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I really don't have time to read this, if someone would be so kind as to do it for me, maybe edit too I'd appreciate it. Also if you ladies of Lit. find him to be worthy of my attention feel free to let me know if I'm missing out on a great opportunity if I don't answer. I did skim it and try to remove his name where I saw it - oops if I missed it.

Thanks,

Red

hi sexy

Hi honey I am xxxx . I’m white and handsome but not tall .... 5’8” or so, right around 200. I love to work out with weights and do aerobics daily to keep myself in shape and healthy. I am a very well educated man, a professional. I love to write erotic stories although I have not published them here. I would love to share my erotic writing with you when I have time to write one and send to you. I’m also rather creative and have a certain way with words, which might make a long-distance correspondence particularly enjoyable at times. I am sure without a doubt you would love my erotic stories that I write from time to time. I want to flirt innocently, and every now and again build up enough tangible tension and need and desire that leads to yours and my pleasurable self gratification.
You should be open-minded and willing to take a chance. You should be confident and comfortable in your own skin. You should be able to start and maintain an interesting conversation and keep my attention. My best time on the internet is late night during the week and early on week ends. Love to get emails form you, Yahoo messages, chat here on PM etc. I have been told I have a sexy voice and I have done the erotic story in my own voice with all the inflections that would take the story to new and more erotically stimulating heights. I am single but you can be a housewife that likes to chat and make new friends and would like the spice of my erotic stories, chat etc..
I can see us chatting online, flirting, telling each other stories of past exploits, whether from our distant youth or just last night. We will share fantasies and maybe even act them out in roleplay. We’ll talk on the phone (or through voice chat) and maybe even video chat, with clothes on, or without, or both. We might give each other little dares to do ... perhaps I’ll dare you to unbutton your blouse just one more button for the day at the office or something similar. In any case we will develop a friendship first and then an attraction, an affection, and maybe more. This special friendship will not become known by anyone but you and I. Anything you give me - email address be it actual or AKA address, secret fantasy, photo, phone number - is one hundred percent safe. I would love to stimulate your erotic and sexual imagination getting you in touch with your sensual and erotic side. I love flirting, teasing here. Love to get your mind captivated by the images I place in your mind as I write or if you like speak to you over yahoo. What ever your pleasure I would love to be someone here who can stimulate you when you so desire and live out your wildest sexual fantasy. Would you like that. I have a way with erotic writing I am told a way with words that women are very stimulated by and recently my voice chats the lady's tell me they love my voice stimulating them even more on audio chat. Just looking to meet friends here who love to be challenged erotically and sexually and love the sensual feelings of a total stranger making them feel so turned on and hot. The imagination is a powerful tool what the mind conceives the body feels its real and thus the erotic physical stimulation is enjoyed as a result. I want your heart to skip a beat when you get a note from me knowing it will sexually stimulate your imagination.
I hope I have piqued your curiosity. If so, please reply ...
All the best,
xxxx
My yahoo email is
xxxxx

 

[Aurantica]

I really don't have time to read this, if someone would be so kind as to do it for me, maybe edit too I'd appreciate it. Also if you ladies of Lit. find him to be worthy of my attention feel free to let me know if I'm missing out on a great opportunity if I don't answer. I did skim it and try to remove his name where I saw it - oops if I missed it.

Thanks,

Red

hi sexy

Hi honey I am xxxx . I’m white and handsome but not tall .... 5’8” or so, right around 200. I love to work out with weights and do aerobics daily to keep myself in shape and healthy. I am a very well educated man, a professional. I love to write erotic stories although I have not published them here. I would love to share my erotic writing with you when I have time to write one and send to you. I’m also rather creative and have a certain way with words, which might make a long-distance correspondence particularly enjoyable at times. I am sure without a doubt you would love my erotic stories that I write from time to time. I want to flirt innocently, and every now and again build up enough tangible tension and need and desire that leads to yours and my pleasurable self gratification.
You should be open-minded and willing to take a chance. You should be confident and comfortable in your own skin. You should be able to start and maintain an interesting conversation and keep my attention. My best time on the internet is late night during the week and early on week ends. Love to get emails form you, Yahoo messages, chat here on PM etc. I have been told I have a sexy voice and I have done the erotic story in my own voice with all the inflections that would take the story to new and more erotically stimulating heights. I am single but you can be a housewife that likes to chat and make new friends and would like the spice of my erotic stories, chat etc..
I can see us chatting online, flirting, telling each other stories of past exploits, whether from our distant youth or just last night. We will share fantasies and maybe even act them out in roleplay. We’ll talk on the phone (or through voice chat) and maybe even video chat, with clothes on, or without, or both. We might give each other little dares to do ... perhaps I’ll dare you to unbutton your blouse just one more button for the day at the office or something similar. In any case we will develop a friendship first and then an attraction, an affection, and maybe more. This special friendship will not become known by anyone but you and I. Anything you give me - email address be it actual or AKA address, secret fantasy, photo, phone number - is one hundred percent safe. I would love to stimulate your erotic and sexual imagination getting you in touch with your sensual and erotic side. I love flirting, teasing here. Love to get your mind captivated by the images I place in your mind as I write or if you like speak to you over yahoo. What ever your pleasure I would love to be someone here who can stimulate you when you so desire and live out your wildest sexual fantasy. Would you like that. I have a way with erotic writing I am told a way with words that women are very stimulated by and recently my voice chats the lady's tell me they love my voice stimulating them even more on audio chat. Just looking to meet friends here who love to be challenged erotically and sexually and love the sensual feelings of a total stranger making them feel so turned on and hot. The imagination is a powerful tool what the mind conceives the body feels its real and thus the erotic physical stimulation is enjoyed as a result. I want your heart to skip a beat when you get a note from me knowing it will sexually stimulate your imagination.
I hope I have piqued your curiosity. If so, please reply ...
All the best,
xxxx
My yahoo email is
xxxxx

TL : DR version: I'm so lonely. Please fuck me.

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

LMFAO.....subscribed

 

[Aquagal]

I really don't have time to read this, if someone would be so kind as to do it for me, maybe edit too I'd appreciate it. Also if you ladies of Lit. find him to be worthy of my attention feel free to let me know if I'm missing out on a great opportunity if I don't answer. I did skim it and try to remove his name where I saw it - oops if I missed it.

Thanks,

Red

hi sexy

Hi honey I am xxxx . I’m white and handsome but not tall .... 5’8” or so, right around 200. I love to work out with weights and do aerobics daily to keep myself in shape and healthy. I am a very well educated man, a professional. I love to write erotic stories although I have not published them here. I would love to share my erotic writing with you when I have time to write one and send to you. I’m also rather creative and have a certain way with words, which might make a long-distance correspondence particularly enjoyable at times. I am sure without a doubt you would love my erotic stories that I write from time to time. I want to flirt innocently, and every now and again build up enough tangible tension and need and desire that leads to yours and my pleasurable self gratification.
You should be open-minded and willing to take a chance. You should be confident and comfortable in your own skin. You should be able to start and maintain an interesting conversation and keep my attention. My best time on the internet is late night during the week and early on week ends. Love to get emails form you, Yahoo messages, chat here on PM etc. I have been told I have a sexy voice and I have done the erotic story in my own voice with all the inflections that would take the story to new and more erotically stimulating heights. I am single but you can be a housewife that likes to chat and make new friends and would like the spice of my erotic stories, chat etc..
I can see us chatting online, flirting, telling each other stories of past exploits, whether from our distant youth or just last night. We will share fantasies and maybe even act them out in roleplay. We’ll talk on the phone (or through voice chat) and maybe even video chat, with clothes on, or without, or both. We might give each other little dares to do ... perhaps I’ll dare you to unbutton your blouse just one more button for the day at the office or something similar. In any case we will develop a friendship first and then an attraction, an affection, and maybe more. This special friendship will not become known by anyone but you and I. Anything you give me - email address be it actual or AKA address, secret fantasy, photo, phone number - is one hundred percent safe. I would love to stimulate your erotic and sexual imagination getting you in touch with your sensual and erotic side. I love flirting, teasing here. Love to get your mind captivated by the images I place in your mind as I write or if you like speak to you over yahoo. What ever your pleasure I would love to be someone here who can stimulate you when you so desire and live out your wildest sexual fantasy. Would you like that. I have a way with erotic writing I am told a way with words that women are very stimulated by and recently my voice chats the lady's tell me they love my voice stimulating them even more on audio chat. Just looking to meet friends here who love to be challenged erotically and sexually and love the sensual feelings of a total stranger making them feel so turned on and hot. The imagination is a powerful tool what the mind conceives the body feels its real and thus the erotic physical stimulation is enjoyed as a result. I want your heart to skip a beat when you get a note from me knowing it will sexually stimulate your imagination.
I hope I have piqued your curiosity. If so, please reply ...
All the best,
xxxx
My yahoo email is
xxxxx

He's bossy. There's lots of things he expects of you already. He wants to send you stories because he's been told he's great with words, but he has to write one first. He wants you to stay a housewife. He's so needy already!

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

He's bossy. There's lots of things he expects of you already. He wants to send you stories because he's been told he's great with words, but he has to write one first. He wants you to stay a housewife. He's so needy already!

I thought he had real insight into the desires of women...

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

LMFAO.....subscribed

He's bossy. There's lots of things he expects of you already. He wants to send you stories because he's been told he's great with words, but he has to write one first. He wants you to stay a housewife. He's so needy already!

I thought he had real insight into the desires of women...

He PMed me back asking me to remove his post and to tell him how to meet women, there was a lot of other things he said too - A LOT - all tactful, so I like a good little "housewife" went back and read his PM. It took 4 attempts because it was so long and painful that I found myself skimming and knew I couldn't answer his second PM honestly if I didn't read his first.

So after finally reaching the end, I responded to his second PM, in a very blunt yet articulate manner (with the exception of one word I left out). Darn it.

The biggest issue I have with your PM is that you assume too much. You assume I wanted it. You assumed I wanted your “pet names” - sexy and honey. You assume I would “without a doubt...love your erotic stories”.

If you knew anything about me as a person you would not have to use the word “you” it would be (my name) or “Red” - since you don't know my name. You also would have known better than to PM me.

How do you get to know me if I don't answer PMs? You post on the threads. You interact with me in those threads that interest me. As far how to find a lady on Lit. You do the same thing. You interact with them. You don't assume anything about them. You don't lump them into one large mass PM and see what woman “bites” at the lure you've sent.

I am not an expert on all the woman of Lit. I am an expert on me.

How can you you see us “chatting online and flirting, telling each other stories of past exploits...” when you know nothing about me, nor did you take the time to unearth something of interest that is viewable to the public here at Lit. What about your PM made me feel special? What showed me that you really did want to get to know me and not some other random woman. No where do you list something you have seen me post or you have read from my submissions.

You also speak of me giving my trust over to you – to a person who tells me he won't share my information with anyone, it's “one hundred percent safe”. Please, that line made my eyes roll.

How can you say you love flirting or teasing here, when you have 6 posts! That shows me nothing. There is no where for me to look back and see you interacting with others, or to gauge if we would make a connection. No where do I see you tease and flirt here or anywhere.

As to what you ask me to do. . . I will not remove your message to me. It is my right to keep it, and my right to post it. I removed your information, but the rest was mine – you remember you sent it to me and I did not ask for it. To remove it allows you to use the same message on other women and I refuse to allow that.

I do not post every single one, just the ones that piss me off and show no real sense that the person sending it thought I was special enough to do some "background" work on.

To abandon Lit. you need to email the administration and ask them to remove your account.

===

Now in PM #2 he asked that I post something helpful so I am posting this:

In order for your account to completely disappear from Lit., you will need to email the administration. I would warn you though, that they are very busy and will most likely delete your account when they have the time to do more important things like cater to my whims.

Another option is to just stop posting under the name that brought you here and start a whole new account that you can use to mass PM women until you come across me again.

Oh there is a third option that may be the best one yet - keep your account and start posting, turn over a new "Lit. leaf" but be forewarned if you pick this option you may still struggle with making me and all the other women you have PMed your cyber lover.

 

[TexasWife25]

Priceless

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Priceless

It takes all kinds.

 

[The_Fool]

I need to work on my PM skills. I suck compared....

 

[GracefullyYours]

I just got one the other day that said only: "I'm fantasizing about you smoking a cigarette."

*sigh*

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I need to work on my PM skills. I suck compared....

I PMed you, see what you can do.

I just got one the other day that said only: "I'm fantasizing about you smoking a cigarette."

*sigh*

Huh? WTF?

 

[Aquagal]

Here's yesterdays piece of shit offering. I sent him the most vile porn link I've ever seen in return. And NO it's not sexy. That's what the motherfucker gets.


Him:

hello, how are you?


sooo, being blunt, can i tongue fuck your ass?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Here's yesterdays piece of shit offering. I sent him the most vile porn link I've ever seen in return. And NO it's not sexy. That's what the motherfucker gets.


Him:

hello, how are you?


sooo, being blunt, can i tongue fuck your ass?

Some folks get nothing but an eyeroll from me, others aren't even worth that. I'm sure he appreciated the link, because that's probably all he'll ever be able to get in life.

 

[Dracoa]

I can't help but laugh at some of these. So glad I'm not that foolish. lol

Oh yeah. Hey Red! Long time.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I can't help but laugh at some of these. So glad I'm not that foolish. lol

Oh yeah. Hey Red! Long time.

Morning. Yes, it has been a while.

 

[Shimp]

Morning red, sorry for all the bullshit but I have to say this is an entertaining little morning read. I often wonder who actually has a ful pm box and hear of women on here having top clean out their box. Hell I just don't see hadn't guys reaching that pm box limit as we probably don't get the spam solicitations.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Morning red, sorry for all the bullshit but I have to say this is an entertaining little morning read. I often wonder who actually has a ful pm box and hear of women on here having top clean out their box. Hell I just don't see hadn't guys reaching that on box limit as we probably don't get the spam solicitations.

Eh, the bullshit I'm used to. I think what annoys me more is the men that try to be "cute" by PMing long tales of their prowess and how they know exactly what I need or desire. They put a lot of time into writing it - once, so they can mass PM it to women.