Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[WhipLuvr]

Originally Posted by jxxxxx

Him:just dam your hot
Me:Unless you believe me to be a hydroelectric structure you've managed to misspell damn.
Bravo.
Him:well baby sorry but on the other hand those panties look like they are holding back a very tasty wet torrent of love juice
Me:Yeah, you know what? You're not getting any.
Him:dont look at me in that tone of voice
Me:I'll use any tone I damn well please. YOU were the one who messaged ME.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Just because they said it was okay to do so - originally I wasn't going to, but seeing as now I can't defend myself because they've placed me on ignore, I'll just answer here, but I think that means they can't see my thread either - right or wrong?

Anywho:

You have red hair but you are anything but friendly.

This is true some days.

I just think your entire profile lure for guys and when the come into your net they are devoured. I think its a false advertisement on your part. I think you delight in putting people down and exploiting their invitation to get to know you better. I have seen your post they are not kind in the least and that is putting it mildly. I think its a personality issue with you that's all. If you dont want to attract flys dont put out the honey its that simple.

I don't know. There are different kind of flies. I mean you get the ones that are nice, they buzz around and offer to get to know you first, and then there are the ones that just want to land on you for a quick fix and then buzz off, they don't really care who you are, or what makes you different or unique.

I'm not friendly to the ones that want to just land and feed from me without truly wanting to chat first, those flies are crude, nasty and inconsiderate and it doesn't take long to flick them off.

Then there are the ones that put just enough effort to make you think you are friendship material until you don't give them what they want fast enough and soon they too are assuming things they shouldn't assume.

The flies I am nice to, they are the ones that aren't looking for a quick fix right then and there, nor are they the ones that feel their entitled just because they landed once --- the flies that share mutual respect for me, those are the ones that are allowed to stick around and I'm friendly with.

I don't know you as this persona on Lit., so I can only assume you felt the need to address me and attack me personally because you were here at sometime under a different name and I wasn't the friendly you felt you deserved.

No matter your opinion of me, I hope you enjoy Lit. and are able to find enjoyment in its vast array of variety.

~ Red

Also there was this one:

I just think your entire profile lure for guys and when the come into your net they are devoured. I think its a false advertisement on your part. I think you delight in putting people down and exploiting their invitation to get to know you better. I have seen your post they are not kind in the least and that is putting it mildly. I think its a personality issue with you that's all. If you dont want to attract flys dont put out the honey its that simple.

Hey go right ahead and post this comment in your wall of shame. To lure people to oneself then to slam them is wrong on all levels. Its wrong across the board. Change your profile pictures and note.

and because he chose to get to know exactly what GBS stands for (NOT - in my world) he sent me this:

That is a very serious assending paralysis autoimmune indused follows an infection with Camplobacter. Can cause repsiratory paralysis and death. IV immunoglobulins are used to treat this . Glad to see that you are in remission.

Let me explain had this person chosen to interact with me on some real level of decency they would have learned that GBS stands for Gastric Bypass Surgery in my world. But see they didn't, instead they assumed to know what I was talking about without really trying to find out. And I had to figure out what they were referring to since I didn't kjnow what Bullian Bare Syndrome was and they might have meant this: Gullian-Barre Syndrome

Ladies and gentlemen of Lit. my profile is mine to write out and present however I see fit. If you see it as an invitation to solicit me for sex that's your opinion and your right, just like it is my right to shoot you down or in this case, swat you with a fly swatter.

If I am luring you in, it doesn't mean you have the right to be rude, crude and obnoxious. I'm pretty sure nothing gives you that right, not even my pictures, stories or posts.

Enjoy Lit. and have a good time, finding what makes you happy, aroused, and pleasant, if it isn't me, that's okay too.

 

[Aquagal]

Dumbass: Noticed you in the seductive dressed moms thread. You are obviously a very beautiful and sexual woman. My name is *** and very athletic. Would love to hear from you.

Me: get your titties straight.

For one thing, I never knew there was a seductive dressed moms thread, and another I've never posted in it.

 

[WhipLuvr]

I have an account on another site where I seem to get propositioned a lot.


do you seek master
ee

hi there cutie, would you be open to experimenting with some mental conditioning and feel the incredibly erotic rush to be a paid sextoy or object?



Can you see yourself working as an escort?
Let me explain how my escort business works...it's very much network marketing...
With my escort business a girl could start working for 60/40 (you get 60% profit, I get 40%) and she could do this exclusively. This alone would earn her, for starters, around $500-1000 every day…then as her rates go up her income goes up to $1000-2000 daily and perhaps more.
However, if a girl wants to have a part of the business she can recruit girls into the business to be be escorts - there are two possibilities:
1. As an escort, with the first girl she recruits, she would then work for 70/30 (increased 10% due to recruiting a girl into the business). For the second girl she would then work for 80/20. Any additional girls she recruits into this escort business she would work for the same 80/20, but also earn 10% of each girl's income. Even after she decides to stop being an escort, as long as these girls she recruited continue to work, she would get 10% of their income.
2. If she's not an escort, she would earn 10% of all of the girls' income she recruited into the business.

*exploitation alert starts*


Travel can be paid for. All sex is controlled by Master and discussed before hand. Boundaries respected and set in advance. Football parties- youll be given a cheerleader out fit, no panties or bra. Asked to jerk and suck men , usually by half time, sub is being used by the group. Bdsm party-,sub is displayed naked and led on a leash, men ask Master to fondle sub or spank her butt (if you look at Master that you dont like a guy, he wont touch you) sub is made to bend over a table or chair and spanked ; sub picks three men and will spend several hours in a the master bedroom servicing them in all ways (oral, anal, pussy), bondage if they ask. Or just serve me as my special sub


Might you be willing to be used, absued and tortured over a weekend by a brutal dom? Generous compensation



I'm looking for two more sweet, non-smoking, no drugs or pot, light or no drinking, respectful, wonderful escorts who love people, to make their lives happier and more fulfilling, to join my business here in Denver, Colorado...my escorts usually make about $1000 per day when they start - and once they get several great reviews, then they can double or more their take. I don't know why, but Denver men are shelling out a lot of money...and become regulars. Would you like $1000 or more every day?

Are you ready to sell your time to be an escort to provide pleasure services? I can get you to make sick amounts of cash here in Denver.


Can you see yourself becoming an escort?



One of these days I'm gonna amuse myself by toying with one of these nutjobs.

 

[pfflyerhot]

My reaction: Welcome to my ignore list. You didn't even fucking READ my profile
~~~
Hi there - saw your profile and just had to get in touch. I'm English, 29 yrs old, constantly horny and love to write erotically, be it short messages or longer stories. I've attached a little sample below; let me know if you'd like to hear how the story ends...
You open the door and I look you up and down... (ellipsis-ing thru the verbiage right now) ...myself there, still hard as a rock, waiting for you to recover.
And then… let me know if you’d like to hear more!

Yup. Sounds vaguely familiar to me, for some reason... Hmmm. Especially the closing line... And the 29 year old thing, too. Familiar, that is. My son is 29.

 

[badjanus]

I have added you.......

letschat on yahoo-this is sloooow

Have you not considered that i am a bloke?

with a name like janus?

the two headed male god that gave us January? Yep i am a 40 yo bloke...

 

[Thandi]

Yup. Sounds vaguely familiar to me, for some reason... Hmmm. Especially the closing line... And the 29 year old thing, too. Familiar, that is. My son is 29.

Ya, he's still sending this one around, got it a month ago or so.

 

[WhipLuvr]

Just got this gem:

hi may name is Javier a 47 year old master that think in respect a a love the person at may feet , that think submicion is the true prof of love I live in Orlando florida born in Spain and working in Puerto rico until January 2014 . reading your profile get may attention so i will like to now you example watt is your education , favorite food , and WATH TIPE MASTER YOU WANT TO HAVE so I wait for your replay , Javier


Whoo boy...