Sexless Marriages

[SexyOlderNWMale]

Yep, the overwhelming reaction from the female half that I have encountered, when she closes up the shop, you do too, no choice or discussion.
Not much give-a-shit about the male and his psyche. However, if the tables were turned, “she”‘ would justify the departures and satisfy her needs, and……we’d still be guilty.

They are women...a double standard always exists when it come to "their" men.
I am resigned to keeping any activities out of view and go on with my life.

 

[dawn_of_night]

16+ for me and yes have to go elsewhere, with her blessing

She blesses you for this?

 

[Mtnmike]

She blesses you for this?

Maybe the wrong word, she told me to get it somewhere else if it meant I'd leave her alone, should've said gave permission and yes it's in writing (CMA).

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Don’t think I could put up with a sexless marriage. Fuck that. I figure I’m quite lucky to get lots of sex with my wife though I’m much kinkier than her, on the surface, my struggle is opening her up to more and more exploration. Guess every existence is relative. For those in sexless marriages I’d say brutal honesty and understanding is the key. Regretting not being brave and living true would be hard to deal with on our deathbed. Cheers and good luck!

 

[diavolo2025]

This thread is such an eye-opener for me. Didn't quite realize how big the damned boat is.

 

[Bacchus6153]

Been a long time for me as well. Wife was sexually abused as a child, and the scars still exist. Sex was work, she was detached, indifferent, and she just didn't enjoy it, so we stopped. I begged her to get counseling, but she refused.

Yearning for a connection with someone else because this isn't normal. I feel that I'm running out of time.

On the other hand, I'm being positive and hope things change.

 

[Dav2567]

Same situation here always lookinng to chat though

 

[PapaRomantic]

Don’t think I could put up with a sexless marriage. Fuck that. I figure I’m quite lucky to get lots of sex with my wife though I’m much kinkier than her, on the surface, my struggle is opening her up to more and more exploration. Guess every existence is relative. For those in sexless marriages I’d say brutal honesty and understanding is the key. Regretting not being brave and living true would be hard to deal with on our deathbed. Cheers and good luck!

The trouble with this is that for many people, there are many good things about their marriage so they have to decide if no sex or intimacy is enough of a reason to divorce. It's a hard choice for most.

 

[SexyOlderNWMale]

The trouble with this is that for many people, there are many good things about their marriage so they have to decide if no sex or intimacy is enough of a reason to divorce. It's a hard choice for most.

Agreed. Pretty much everything else is fine in my marriage. Intimacy is important, but I have found other unauthorized outlets for that which allows me to stay in my marriage otherwise.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

The trouble with this is that for many people, there are many good things about their marriage so they have to decide if no sex or intimacy is enough of a reason to divorce. It's a hard choice for most.

I totally understand yet do we live or not? I’m not a cheater so honest talk is a must. I realize how difficult it is. Cheers

 

[Mrjime2]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

Ditto..
Love to chat…

 

[BobbyandtheCabin]

Each day gets harder. I have so much to lose if I leave so have no choice but to stay. I miss sex so much, but I especially miss that female interest in me, sexually, and what I like. I also miss just general sexual chatter with women.

My late teens/early twenties I was having one night stands regularly, trying to fill that void. I slept with maybe 25 women, with recurring sessions with maybe a quarter of them, and across that entire period I myself came in sex maybe 4 or 5 times (and about half of them involuntary where there was something about them that I just couldnt hold it ). I was desperate for them to think I was amazing in bed, would have sessions lasting hours and hours, ending when they're spent. I'd research how to do and be better. It was great.

In my late teens, I was desperate for the sexual attention. I'd found some weird loophole with AdultFriendFinder where if I went via certain pages I didnt have to pay, and I used to just have my cock out on cam. I used to absolutely love the attention that came with that, the viewers and star ratings going up, and didn't really have a concept of online safety. There was no 'tips' or anything, just some good ol' pro bonero .

In my relationship, when it started, I learned to actually let myself cum and that should be a mutual beneficial thing, but i recognise now that it was my partners desire that what she wants to do would have maximum arousal power for me, and my actual needs/wants/fantasies were not of real interest. The down the line my enjoyment full stop was off the table. It became transactional to get her off and get on with our day.

Fast forward to now, a few years of technical sexlessness (i.e. less than 12x a year) and now just over one of none at all, and I ache with longing.

I started chatting on an anonymous chat site and for the first time maybe ever connected with a couple of women who were really really intrigued in what I really like, and actually went out their way to try and fulfill what I like rather than only what they want me to. It was a breathtaking feeling. Of course the efforts were mutual from me for them, but not labouring that point as that's not the topic here.

But I realised there's a really dark side to those sorts of sites, and you never know who you're talking to and what they might send, and so now i'm too scared to go back on there.

But I miss it, I miss women, and don't know what to do.

Rant over. Feeling blue.

 

[Dav2567]

Fredericksburg virginia looking

 

[Mezoolandet]

Well, April will be one year with no intimacy at all. Had the discussion on whether she feels it is ok for me to go the rest of my life without it. She said, well, you can leave. Between half your retirement and half the real estate, I will never have to work. I have been the sole income since we met 100% of the assets were funded solely by me. Paid for the house, cars, boats, college, vacations, everything she has. Now says "cheat," I get half; leave, I get half. Just EVIL.

 

[Mtnmike]

Well, April will be one year with no intimacy at all. Had the discussion on whether she feels it is ok for me to go the rest of my life without it. She said, well, you can leave. Between half your retirement and half the real estate, I will never have to work. I have been the sole income since we met 100% of the assets were funded solely by me. Paid for the house, cars, boats, college, vacations, everything she has. Now says "cheat," I get half; leave, I get half. Just EVIL.

Unfortunately she is right depending on the law's where you live

 

[BobbyandtheCabin]

Well, April will be one year with no intimacy at all. Had the discussion on whether she feels it is ok for me to go the rest of my life without it. She said, well, you can leave. Between half your retirement and half the real estate, I will never have to work. I have been the sole income since we met 100% of the assets were funded solely by me. Paid for the house, cars, boats, college, vacations, everything she has. Now says "cheat," I get half; leave, I get half. Just EVIL.

I'm so sorry to hear. I'm guessing couples counselling is out of the question. Perhaps somewhere else (e.g. legal) that can offer some advice on what you can do here. Sending positive thoughts and comfort your way.

 

[Chudster]

From what I can tell after being here awhile and chatting to others, we make up the majority in here!! It always amazes me how so many of us in our 40’s & 50’s eventually find ourselves in this situation

You’re in the right place!

Even as I move into my 60th year I'm horny as ever but without someone to enjoy things with as the other half is just not upto it!

 

[Mezoolandet]

Unfortunately she is right depending on the law's where you live

She is right. We live in the shit state of Michigan.

 

[NorthernCardinal]

 

[curvyjae]

I so wish my husband could see this thread without knowing I am here, lol. He thinks we are the only couple in the world that doesn't have sex 2-3 times a week even though I showed him my group chat with friends about their sex lives. We have sex every 7-21 days. The only time that has been longer is when I have had a surgery where I am told no sex for 4-6 weeks.

Context: I had weight loss surgery which completely screwed up my hormones. I was a kinky, sex-all-the-time kind of gal when we met, and pretty much have been that way since I was 16. I have wanted sex most days, sometimes multiple times a day. But hormones.. they kill your sex drive if they get out of whack. I am fixing them. I feel more aroused the past few weeks than I have in months, BUT he is a fucking dick about it at times, which mentally shuts me off and men should know, the way to a woman's sex drive is her mind. (Not all- some women just don't want sex or won't get their hormones checked, or use sex as a weapon). I miss desiring having sex, but when you just have sex to avoid verbal and mental abuse, it really takes the appeal away.

From a female's point of view who has been on the other side (ex husband lost his sex drive due to low T, and it was a struggle, but I never held it against him or belittled him for it), if her issues are hormones, I do recommend hormone replacement therapy if you can afford it. It has helped, and I am sure most men on here are mostly kind, loving husbands, just upset their intimate lives have gone stale. I am sorry if sex is gone because she uses it as a weapon, but if it is health or hormone related, and you are compassionate about it, there is hope it will get better. Just my 2 cents having experienced both ends of the spectrum of sexless marriage.

 

[Mtnmike]

I so wish my husband could see this thread without knowing I am here, lol. He thinks we are the only couple in the world that doesn't have sex 2-3 times a week even though I showed him my group chat with friends about their sex lives. We have sex every 7-21 days. The only time that has been longer is when I have had a surgery where I am told no sex for 4-6 weeks.

Context: I had weight loss surgery which completely screwed up my hormones. I was a kinky, sex-all-the-time kind of gal when we met, and pretty much have been that way since I was 16. I have wanted sex most days, sometimes multiple times a day. But hormones.. they kill your sex drive if they get out of whack. I am fixing them. I feel more aroused the past few weeks than I have in months, BUT he is a fucking dick about it at times, which mentally shuts me off and men should know, the way to a woman's sex drive is her mind. (Not all- some women just don't want sex or won't get their hormones checked, or use sex as a weapon). I miss desiring having sex, but when you just have sex to avoid verbal and mental abuse, it really takes the appeal away.

From a female's point of view who has been on the other side (ex husband lost his sex drive due to low T, and it was a struggle, but I never held it against him or belittled him for it), if her issues are hormones, I do recommend hormone replacement therapy if you can afford it. It has helped, and I am sure most men on here are mostly kind, loving husbands, just upset their intimate lives have gone stale. I am sorry if sex is gone because she uses it as a weapon, but if it is health or hormone related, and you are compassionate about it, there is hope it will get better. Just my 2 cents having experienced both ends of the spectrum of sexless marriage.

Thank You for your insight it's refreshing to get a woman's point of view, you are correct in everything you said she/he has to want to fix it/themselves.

 

[Dav2567]

Same problem

 

[LeeKee]

Don’t think I could put up with a sexless marriage. Fuck that. I figure I’m quite lucky to get lots of sex with my wife though I’m much kinkier than her, on the surface, my struggle is opening her up to more and more exploration. Guess every existence is relative. For those in sexless marriages I’d say brutal honesty and understanding is the key. Regretting not being brave and living true would be hard to deal with on our deathbed. Cheers and good luck!

Its absolutely a level of torture that should be viewed as a form of abuse. Due to being overseas, I cannot do anything legally about it. If I were stateside, this shit would be finalized by now.

 

[curioustxn]

214 posts in 7 years - - almost all lamenting a sexless marriage. When asked why they stay in a sexless marriage, the most common answer is: "I have too much to lose if I leave". A man has to ask himself - - which is more important, your physical possessions and wealth, or your happiness and self-worth? Is what you have really worth the misery?

 

[Looking4marriedbbw99]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Unfortunately im right there with you we Have been sexless in mt for 5 years now covid really messed wifes body up tested pos for over 2 years