Sexless Marriages

[CuriousCat89]

After a few year's I came to accept she was not going to change her mind and quit bringing it up, we have been together for a long time and are what I consider best friends just without the intimacy. Every couple is different and have to decide for themselves what they want, what I share here is just my opinion and would never tell anybody what they should do.

I think this is fair. It’s entirely possible she is asexual. It’s also entirely possible she thinks you bringing it up is shaming her, in a way, for not wanting it. I think people should approach HRT for more reasons than libido. There are libido meds for women but most doctors don’t know about them.
If you’re happy in most areas, there are other outlets for the sex. Most people can’t stand each other eventually and that’s the bigger hurdle. Best friends is what matters when you’re both in diapers. Or have a terminal illness. And raising a family is an achievement. There are so many other intimacies than penetrative.

 

[CuriousCat89]

Unfortunately like many other drugs, there can be unwanted side effects. Each woman is different of course. I wonder how easily it would be to suggest to the wife to try it, when some think there is no problem, and they don't need sexual desires to make them feel better? Just wondering.....

If my husband told me to try HRT for my libido I’d never try it. Women don’t really need sex. Many women are happy to eliminate the pressure to have sex as they get older. HRT has other benefits like bone health and CV health. Metabolic health like cholesterol and blood sugar. ‘I keep seeing articles about how many more women are trying HRT for their heart and bone health - have you ever considered it?’ Would be a much better approach.

 

[Mtnmike]

I think this is fair. It’s entirely possible she is asexual. It’s also entirely possible she thinks you bringing it up is shaming her, in a way, for not wanting it. I think people should approach HRT for more reasons than libido. There are libido meds for women but most doctors don’t know about them.
If you’re happy in most areas, there are other outlets for the sex. Most people can’t stand each other eventually and that’s the bigger hurdle. Best friends is what matters when you’re both in diapers. Or have a terminal illness. And raising a family is an achievement. There are so many other intimacies than penetrative.

You are correct just took me a while to understand what she was trying to tell me and yes she has admitted she is now A-sexual, doesn't think or want sex with anyone ever again.
Yes there are more other outlets for sex, I found I can live without the sex with her but I really miss the intimacy we once shared, the kisses, hugging, cuddles etc and yes we've discussed this but she doesn't think I could just stop at that, no matter how much I explained that's what I miss the most. It is what it is and I live with it, my choice.

 

[CuriousCat89]

Yes there are more other outlets for sex, I found I can live without the sex with her but I really miss the intimacy we once shared, the kisses, hugging, cuddles etc and yes we've discussed this but she doesn't think I could just stop at that, no matter how much I explained that's what I miss the most. It is what it is and I live with it, my choice.

This is unfair of her. Sorry. You’ve stuck it out with nothing for this long, it shows you’ve made peace with the situation. She should be able to do that. That’s problematic, to me.