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Sexless Marriages

Pixelpan said:
Also in a sexless marriage - no sex, virtually no physical contact. When I talked to her about it, my wife said she just doesn’t really have an interest or desire for it.
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As mine said 16 year's ago, if they have one or the other it becomes hopeless in thinking it will change, just been my observation.
 
Pixelpan said:
Also in a sexless marriage - no sex, virtually no physical contact. When I talked to her about it, my wife said she just doesn’t really have an interest or desire for it.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear that, its unfortunately very common, have you been married for a while? Is she ok with you connecting elsewhere?
 
Say_Oy said:
Sexless marriage since around 1998. I think that means I got the boobie prize (because I have a sub with full access to her boobies. :)

First, my wife started to refuse anal. I could live with that. Then she refused BJ. I didn't like it but ok... Then she came to bed sweaty, smelly and gritty, got on all 4s and said that if I wanted to I could fuck her. I was NOT ok with that. She was also hording and piling stuff around the bed, so I moved to a spare bedroom. She said she would not have sex with someone that was not sleeping with her. I said I was OK with that.

Then the marriage trap started. I said I wanted a friendly divorce and she said she would fight divorce with every penny we had. Then my father died. I was emotionally not ready for a bloody fight. A few years later I wanted to be involved with our kid so I figured I would stay until our kid was older and understand things better. I went to see a lawyer to get divorce information and my mother in law, whom I really liked, got very sick. So I waited while trying to give support. The pattern took hold. Every few years I would start exploring divorce and someone in the family (that I like) would get deathly sick or outright die. It's gotten that I am superstitious about talking to lawyers or researching divorce. LOL, the last person was my wife, 2.5 years ago. She spent 8 days in the hospital, but she is doing great now.

A few years after the turn of the century I found a sub. I started the affair with her just to get my rocks off but her personality was great and we are still seeing each other after 22 years, though only about once a week since she became a grandma. Having a supportive sub/sex-toy/pet that I see whenever we can get away really helps.

At this point I am too superstitious about the illness/death pattern and I don't want to lose all my retirement savings to lawyers in what is certain to be a nasty divorce. I kind of settled into the rut of living with my wife despite the emotional and physical alienation. However, I do get physical and emotional support from my sub.
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Im in a similar situation, right behind you in the timeline. Form of torture and should be illegal to have such power to inflict emotional and financial anxiety for years to someone.
 
El_Dempo said:
It's a horrid situation to be in. Given up any hope of the wife ever showing an interest.. hard to feel disappointed when there was no expectation, right?
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Same here. I give the hell up. Cant stand being in the same room anymore while she acts like shes so happy and giddy from work. Nope. Nothing to connect dots on there. Resentment is setting in.
 
Purple_Fronds said:
Sorry to hear that, its unfortunately very common, have you been married for a while? Is she ok with you connecting elsewhere?
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We have been together 30 plus years. I recently brought up the idea of an open marriage, where we would each allow the other to have a relationship with someone else outside of the marriage. Her response was, "Whatever." I guess that means it's okay...
 
Pixelpan said:
Also in a sexless marriage - no sex, virtually no physical contact. When I talked to her about it, my wife said she just doesn’t really have an interest or desire for it.
[/QUOTE
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Pixelpan said:
We have been together 30 plus years. I recently brought up the idea of an open marriage, where we would each allow the other to have a relationship with someone else outside of the marriage. Her response was, "Whatever." I guess that means it's okay...
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Sounds like that was the answer: do "whatever" you want because she just doesn't care. It's unlikely she'll do the same but you can tell she has no interest in tending to you. Same shit my ex pulled. I'd approach it cautiously, though.
 
Pixelpan said:
We have been together 30 plus years. I recently brought up the idea of an open marriage, where we would each allow the other to have a relationship with someone else outside of the marriage. Her response was, "Whatever." I guess that means it's okay...
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Make sure you get everything in writing or she could really stick it to you. Was so glad I did, several year's later she denied ever saying such then I pulled out the paper, still denied it but it was her hand writing and signature, she was pissed but nothing she could do.
 
Mtnmike said:
Make sure you get everything in writing or she could really stick it to you. Was so glad I did, several year's later she denied ever saying such then I pulled out the paper, still denied it but it was her hand writing and signature, she was pissed but nothing she could do.
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Absolutely! Good catch, Mtnmike. I should have put that in there and overlooked it.
 
13Fantasies said:
I count the days because im curious to see which streak is longer: This one or the one from the time I was born to first sex
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sorry about that man, I used to do that with my xwife, I got up to 2 months, then after a plea to her she would schedule it once a month. I feel your pain.
My current wife, lost her sex drive and it's up to me to initiate with is a stark contrast to how she was before. I am being patient but it's so hard to not have the one you love want you.
 
DaddyVader said:
sorry about that man, I used to do that with my xwife, I got up to 2 months, then after a plea to her she would schedule it once a month. I feel your pain.
My current wife, lost her sex drive and it's up to me to initiate with is a stark contrast to how she was before. I am being patient but it's so hard to not have the one you love want you.
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Unfortunately there are quite a few of us in the world 😞
 
Yep, the overwhelming reaction from the female half that I have encountered, when she closes up the shop, you do too, no choice or discussion.
Not much give-a-shit about the male and his psyche. However, if the tables were turned, “she”‘ would justify the departures and satisfy her needs, and……we’d still be guilty.
 
MongoSex said:
Yep, the overwhelming reaction from the female half that I have encountered, when she closes up the shop, you do too, no choice or discussion.
Not much give-a-shit about the male and his psyche. However, if the tables were turned, “she”‘ would justify the departures and satisfy her needs, and……we’d still be guilty.
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They are women...a double standard always exists when it come to "their" men.
I am resigned to keeping any activities out of view and go on with my life.
 
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