How do you help someone get over being abused

[Don K Dyck]

Looks BLUE to me too but then again I'm color blind

PURPLE the color of royalty. I bow to thee Sir Gil.

A rose for Lady Bandit and Sir Gil.

"The rose blooms with love
but
your love for one another
does not falter
when the rose
is no longer."
-shadow

"I blow thee Sir Gil" . . . am I seeing right??? Oops!! Freudian slip, sorry . . . "I bow to the, Sir Gil" . . .

Geez, Shadow . . . don't inflate his head too much . . .

 

[short_circutz]

Re: Re: Re: How do you help someone get over being abused

Welcome short_circutz, we are all hear to listen and as you can tell by pasts posts we have experienced some form of abuse in our lifetime. This is a place to come to "let it out", read and to ask questions or advice. We're not professionals but we've been there through the bad times and we're all still on our healing journey.

It takes time for someone to "open up and talk" and even then they may not be giving the whole picture, so to speak. I know because I've been there and it took a lot of time and patience on the part of my SO to help me get through the "bad memories" times, When we first started going out I would retreat behind this invisible emotional wall I had built over the years and when he'd ask if something was wrong I'd automatically respond by saying "nothing" which was not true. Eventually I trusted and believed his sincerity and slowly began to talk about my past. I even let him read a book of poetry I wrote about my years of abuse (something I never allowed anyone to even see much less read). It takes time and patience; when she's ready to talk she will.

Patience is big on your part and letting her know you're there for her when she decides to share that part of her life with you is great. It isn't easy for most people who have been abused to trust others, really trust someone enough to share the painful memories with.

And:

Thanks for your post & I'd like to say your doing all the right things by not pressing the issue & supporting her, you might like to sit her infront of the puta & guide her through the thread so she can see that with trust & honesty the issues of the past can start to be weakened as some have done here.

Thanks for the response.

This has only happened when we are in bed. It was really bad at one point last night....and to be frank...it really concerned me. I'm a very caring person by nature, and I always seem to go above and beyond expectatios when helping someone out, and am very concerned when someone I care about is hurting in any way.

I should have gotten into some type of social work instead of becoming an electronic tech,lol.

 

[Gil_T2]

Re: Re: Re: Re: How do you help someone get over being abused

And:



Thanks for the response.

This has only happened when we are in bed. It was really bad at one point last night....and to be frank...it really concerned me. I'm a very caring person by nature, and I always seem to go above and beyond expectatios when helping someone out, and am very concerned when someone I care about is hurting in any way.

I should have gotten into some type of social work instead of becoming an electronic tech,lol.

I did pick up on your caring nature from your first post & you are likely the very best person to help her cope, I also wonder if she has ever done anything to deal with her feelings or has just handled them her way which isn't the best way to deal with it.

KEEP UP THE CARING.

 

[Gil_T2]

"I blow thee Sir Gil" . . . am I seeing right??? Oops!! Freudian slip, sorry . . . "I bow to the, Sir Gil" . . .

Geez, Shadow . . . don't inflate his head too much . . .

Do not fear DON as BANDIT keeps me well centered.

We do have lots of laughs with each other.You might see that she has "IT'S ALL MY FAULT" with her AV this is an ongoing joke we have about how it's her fault I'm so very happy being with her & of course if it's not her fault it's mine.....well as if that could be!

 

[kikmosa]

Bump!!!!!!!

 

[Bandit58]

Bump!!!!!!!

KIKI!!!!!

Long time no see hon - you have been missed

 

[kikmosa]

KIKI!!!!!

Long time no see hon - you have been missed

Hi Bandit. How are things going? I've missed being here too.

 

[Bandit58]

Hi Bandit. How are things going? I've missed being here too.

Gil is recovering slowly - if you read back you will see he was in the hospital But lots of cuddles and TLC are doing much better than being stuck in there stressing

Finally getting my divorce underway - I rang my lawyer in NZ yesterday and it's a lot of toing and froing with paperwork but I will be pleased when it is finally over. The loose ends need to be tied up - I have moved on well and truly now. And the ex probably won't object as long as it doesn't cost HIM any money......

 

[kikmosa]

Gil is recovering slowly - if you read back you will see he was in the hospital But lots of cuddles and TLC are doing much better than being stuck in there stressing

Finally getting my divorce underway - I rang my lawyer in NZ yesterday and it's a lot of toing and froing with paperwork but I will be pleased when it is finally over. The loose ends need to be tied up - I have moved on well and truly now. And the ex probably won't object as long as it doesn't cost HIM any money......

Haven't had a chance to look back yet but I will as soon as I can. Won't be tonight since I have to get to bed now. Tell Gil that he's alway's in my thoughts and prayers as are you. Give him a kiss for me, please.

 

[Bandit58]

Haven't had a chance to look back yet but I will as soon as I can. Won't be tonight since I have to get to bed now. Tell Gil that he's alway's in my thoughts and prayers as are you. Give him a kiss for me, please.

Several kisses have been delivered on your behalf hon Sleep well

 

[Gil_T2]

Haven't had a chance to look back yet but I will as soon as I can. Won't be tonight since I have to get to bed now. Tell Gil that he's alway's in my thoughts and prayers as are you. Give him a kiss for me, please.

{{{{{{{{{{{{kiki}}}}}}}}}}}} my dear friend so nice to see you post so I know you are OK (i hope all is well in your new life) & you are in my thoughts often mainly with wondering how things are.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Hi KIKI, it's been awhile but good to see you back again. Hope things are well with you.

Bandit and Gil please give a kiss to each of you for me as well as a big hug.

I just wanted to stop by and say "Aloha" for now being I will not be on-line for some time due to medical reasons. I'll sorely miss everyone and hope things will be well and happy with each and everyone here. Y'all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care everyone and until later (whenever that will be)...
Aloha from Hawaii

 

[Bandit58]

Hi shadow

Both Gil and I send you our best wishes for a successful surgery and a quick recovery

Sending a HUG to IsleMaster too cos he looks after you so well

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Got shocking news...my surgeon's nurse called and my surgery is going to happen early tomorrow morning so now I'm scrambling to take care of things, eat a hefty meal and most of all remain calm, lol. So I guess I won't be around after this posting.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and I'll really miss everyone. Poor IsleMaster is just as surprised and by the tone of his voice over the phone (he's at work) he's starting to worry although he won't admit it. I'll be sure to give him a big hug from you (Bandit) and Gil.

Take care everyone and until later....
Aloha,
shadow

 

[Gil_T2]

Got shocking news...my surgeon's nurse called and my surgery is going to happen early tomorrow morning so now I'm scrambling to take care of things, eat a hefty meal and most of all remain calm, lol. So I guess I won't be around after this posting.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and I'll really miss everyone. Poor IsleMaster is just as surprised and by the tone of his voice over the phone (he's at work) he's starting to worry although he won't admit it. I'll be sure to give him a big hug from you (Bandit) and Gil.

Take care everyone and until later....
Aloha,
shadow

You will be in our thoughts till your up to returning & posting.

 

[kikmosa]

{{{{{{{{{{{{kiki}}}}}}}}}}}} my dear friend so nice to see you post so I know you are OK (i hope all is well in your new life) & you are in my thoughts often mainly with wondering how things are.

Things are going good for me. Or as good as can be expected. I'm working full time now. Even have insurance. I've found a really good doctor and I'm starting to get things worked out with my health. I finally have my computer up and on the net so I don't have to use someone else's anymore. I've thought some things out and made some choices for my future. All in all, things are looking up for me.

 

[kikmosa]

Got shocking news...my surgeon's nurse called and my surgery is going to happen early tomorrow morning so now I'm scrambling to take care of things, eat a hefty meal and most of all remain calm, lol. So I guess I won't be around after this posting.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and I'll really miss everyone. Poor IsleMaster is just as surprised and by the tone of his voice over the phone (he's at work) he's starting to worry although he won't admit it. I'll be sure to give him a big hug from you (Bandit) and Gil.

Take care everyone and until later....
Aloha,
shadow

Good luck and my prayers to you.

 

[Bandit58]

Things are going good for me. Or as good as can be expected. I'm working full time now. Even have insurance. I've found a really good doctor and I'm starting to get things worked out with my health. I finally have my computer up and on the net so I don't have to use someone else's anymore. I've thought some things out and made some choices for my future. All in all, things are looking up for me.

That's great news Kiki I had a job as a receptionist in a brothel but lost it when Gil got sick.....still keeping my eyes out for part time work but nothing yet. I'm applying for a carer's payment but there's so much paperwork to go through

Speaking of paperwork.....my divorce is getting underway, I rang my lawyer in NZ the other day and she is working on it now. I have to send the marriage certificate back there, then HE has to sign the forms and then they're sent over to me to sign in the presence of a solicitor lots of toing and froing but will be good to get the loose ends tied up and out of the way!

 

[kikmosa]

That's great news Kiki I had a job as a receptionist in a brothel but lost it when Gil got sick.....still keeping my eyes out for part time work but nothing yet. I'm applying for a carer's payment but there's so much paperwork to go through

Speaking of paperwork.....my divorce is getting underway, I rang my lawyer in NZ the other day and she is working on it now. I have to send the marriage certificate back there, then HE has to sign the forms and then they're sent over to me to sign in the presence of a solicitor lots of toing and froing but will be good to get the loose ends tied up and out of the way!

Yes it will be. It was such a relief when I got my final papers. I even frames them and kept them on my wall for awhile, lol.

 

[Bandit58]

Hehe great idea Hopefully it'll all be finalised by the time the G&G comes round so I can celebrate with everyone

 

[kikmosa]

Hehe great idea Hopefully it'll all be finalised by the time the G&G comes round so I can celebrate with everyone

I know I won't be able to come this year unless I win the lottery, lol, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to come to next year's G&G.

 

[kikmosa]

Have to head out, storm moving in now. I'll try to be back tomorrow.

 

[Gil_T2]

Things are going good for me. Or as good as can be expected. I'm working full time now. Even have insurance. I've found a really good doctor and I'm starting to get things worked out with my health. I finally have my computer up and on the net so I don't have to use someone else's anymore. I've thought some things out and made some choices for my future. All in all, things are looking up for me.

I am so pleased that life is treating you well & that you now have insurance which in it's self would be a big worry lifted from you.

Dear KIKI you inspire me & many others on this site with the growth you have had since we first exchanged PM's way back then.

{{{{{{{{{{{{KIKI}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[Gil_T2]

I know I won't be able to come this year unless I win the lottery, lol, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to come to next year's G&G.

KIKI...if you do make the next G&G you know you will be getting lots of hugs from all the Aussie friends you have made & a very special hug from me you dear lady have done so much for me & I won't be as happy as I am now without you.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Have to head out, storm moving in now. I'll try to be back tomorrow.

Hey Kiki . . . great to hear that you are taking charge of your life and creating the success that you deserve . . .