How do you help someone get over being abused

[Bandit58]

Thanks Noor and MM
He's still in pain and with next to no appetite but the meals are enough to put off even a healthy person We can manage the antibiotics and the dialysis at home and he has been told there are some morphine patches he can use for the pain.

In keeping with the thread title.....the other evening the elderly male patient in the next bed was away with the pixies and attacked one of the nurses......Gil was a real hero he told the guy very firmly to get back in bed and stay there or he'd be in deep shit. Which he did, and security came down and sorted everything out BUT.......one of the other nurses must have noticed my reaction to the raised angry voices and the nurse screaming. I do get very uncomfortable around anger......my ex had a temper and has been known to hurt animals even though he never hurt me or the kids.

The nurse told Gil I looked upset. And he was very worried about me, but didn't want to ring me because it was late......it was just a little flashback, and it didn't upset me as once it would have, but the proof is there that what happened has left scars on the inside, no matter how much I wish it hadn't......

 

[Missingmeds]

*Reading Bandit's post brings flashbacks of hospital food*

I can fully appreciate his not having a appetite if the food there is anything like hospital food here. Like eating cardboard most of the time.

Good to hear that he will soon be back home. I am sure that he will be more comfortable with you and at home.

Sorry to hear about the flashback but the good thing is that you know one more thing that triggers them.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Ah hospital food...here in Hawaii it depends on the hospital. I recall one where it tasted as if it was made in a restaurant but the majority of the hospitals have food that would not be worthy to make the food critics list much less be given any consideration or time on the matter, lol.

I've got my fingers and toes crossed and praying Gil gets to come home. You've got a lot of cuddling time to make up and you both can sigh knowing there are no hospital restrictions to rule your time together. (don't mind me if that doesn't make sense...meds are really making me ).

Take care and tell Gil I'll be having jello next month when I go in; it'll be my turn. I've got to figure out a plan to get out of the room to have ciggies, hmmm....

aloha,
shadow

 

[Bandit58]

GIL IS HOME!!

He is still not too well, but is slowly on the mend. We shared lots of cuddles last night and this morning.......we have both missed that sooooo much!

Shadow I hope the surgery goes well for you and you're not in the hospital for too long.....

 

[Cathleen]

GIL IS HOME!!

He is still not too well, but is slowly on the mend. We shared lots of cuddles last night and this morning.......we have both missed that sooooo much!

Shadow I hope the surgery goes well for you and you're not in the hospital for too long.....

Yeah!!! So glad he is back home with you Bandit - all the best to you both.

 

[teton]

good Lord-it's 4:10 AM and i've read this whole thread tonite. i just signed up @ literotic this evening to submit a few poems i'd wrote and maybe get some constructive help. man, did i. it's a wonder my keyboard didn't short out from all the tears. i truly felt a wonderful bond with so many of you good people. gil, thanks for starting this thread and get well soon. bandit, don k, brown eyes 26 and kikmosa and many others, your heartfelt advice and words of encouragement truely touched me. hell, i'm 46 yrs old, work in the oilfield in a stressful, demanding job and i'm sitting here bawling my head off. i have'nt cried in years. it's time i think. i was married to a woman i dearly loved for 27 yrs. still do i guess. abuse comes in so many forms doesn't it. physical, mental and emotional come to mind. i'm trying to decide if one is less painful than the other and i've come to the conclusion that abuse in any form is an injustice against your soul. i don't want to get to windy about this but i've suffered emotionally long enough. i was almost ready to go back to her when i came to the part about abusers not really changing their ways and to find inner happiness and the 3 rules from don k. i am ready for the battle, i will find true happiness someday, i do have worth as a human. thank you all for showing me the way. anywho, i still have a few poems to submit. i've never wrote poetry before this small bump in my life started. i find it helps me cope with my feelings. it's kinda dark, not like the real me. please look for them wherever they put them here. 1st one called "i'm tired", then "a man betrayed" , "i've got a secret" and my fave "the red-headed whore. again, thank you so much and God bless all of you. teton

 

[Monazwx]

Glad to hear that you're on the mend Gil.

You're in my thoughts.

Hi Bandit.

 

[Sapphiregem]

GIL IS HOME!!

He is still not too well, but is slowly on the mend. We shared lots of cuddles last night and this morning.......we have both missed that sooooo much!

Shadow I hope the surgery goes well for you and you're not in the hospital for too long.....

That is great news Bandit, so glad to hear Gil is home!!!!
All my best wishes to the both of you.

Shadow....wishing you all the best with your up coming surgery

Teton......You are so right,abuse in any form is an injustice against your soul. I wish you all the best in finding your true happiness. Good luck in your poetry

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Bandit58
GIL IS HOME!!

He is still not too well, but is slowly on the mend. We shared lots of cuddles last night and this morning.......we have both missed that sooooo much!

Shadow I hope the surgery goes well for you and you're not in the hospital for too long.....

HURRAH!!!! GIL IS HOME!!!! Glad to hear he's back home. Now he can get the medicine he needs (cuddles) to make both your and his day better. Take it easy Gil.

Thanks Bandit I'm hoping the surgery goes well too but being a smoker for a number of years my fusion may or may not work; I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm supposed to only stay 3 days (Friday to Sunday) but it all depends on how soon I get on my feet and if they need the beds which means they'll try to kick me out (this time it won't work because my SO will really give them a piece of his mind which can be very intense, lol).

I'm trying to keep occipied because I got word that my co-worker who was a close friend of mine suddenly passed away. He had major heart problems on top of diabetes and seven bullets still lodged in his body which all in all he knew he was walking on egg shells. I have to look at it as he's not suffering anymore but there's an empty space in my heart. Sorry to bum everyone out.

Take care everyone and hope y'all check out my story "Unbridled Lust" chapters 1 and 2. Please feel free to leave a comment and rate it; it's my first attempt to write and I've hooked on the aide of my volunteer Lit editor (Fyrstar).

Aloha,
shadow



<<<<<<<<GIL & BANDIT!>>>>>>>>

 

[BrownEyes26]

GIL IS HOME!!

He is still not too well, but is slowly on the mend. We shared lots of cuddles last night and this morning.......we have both missed that sooooo much!

Hey Bandit, good to hear that gil is out of the hospital. Send him some of my happy thoughts.

And Teton, I am happy that you found this thread.

BE26

 

[Gil_T2]

good Lord-it's 4:10 AM and i've read this whole thread tonite. i just signed up @ literotic this evening to submit a few poems i'd wrote and maybe get some constructive help. man, did i. it's a wonder my keyboard didn't short out from all the tears. i truly felt a wonderful bond with so many of you good people. gil, thanks for starting this thread and get well soon. bandit, don k, brown eyes 26 and kikmosa and many others, your heartfelt advice and words of encouragement truely touched me. hell, i'm 46 yrs old, work in the oilfield in a stressful, demanding job and i'm sitting here bawling my head off. i have'nt cried in years. it's time i think. i was married to a woman i dearly loved for 27 yrs. still do i guess. abuse comes in so many forms doesn't it. physical, mental and emotional come to mind. i'm trying to decide if one is less painful than the other and i've come to the conclusion that abuse in any form is an injustice against your soul. i don't want to get to windy about this but i've suffered emotionally long enough. i was almost ready to go back to her when i came to the part about abusers not really changing their ways and to find inner happiness and the 3 rules from don k. i am ready for the battle, i will find true happiness someday, i do have worth as a human. thank you all for showing me the way. anywho, i still have a few poems to submit. i've never wrote poetry before this small bump in my life started. i find it helps me cope with my feelings. it's kinda dark, not like the real me. please look for them wherever they put them here. 1st one called "i'm tired", then "a man betrayed" , "i've got a secret" and my fave "the red-headed whore. again, thank you so much and God bless all of you. teton

Welcome to the tread & again thankyou for bothering to read it through, it is very sad but it is full of wonderful ppl who have moved on in their lives & even the demons of the past still being there at times they continue to find the real them that had been buried for way to long, as for the tears you are not on your own there as I have shed enough to break the drought here in Aussie.

I'm also glad your found strength from posts here,please return often to let us know that your doing fine & of course the posting of your poems.

 

[Gil_T2]

A very big thankyou to all who have posted their get well thoughts to me, my lovely lady deserves so much praise for all she does for me without any expectation of more thank a kiss & a thankyou. I am trurly blessed by her love.

 

[Missingmeds]

Good to see you back Gil.

And think of all that the two of you give each other.

 

[Noor]

Welcome Back Gil!!!

 

[shadow_dreamer]

WELCOME BACK, GIL!!!!!

Glad to hear you're home. Yes Bandit deserves an ovation but I'm sure she's more than happy to have cuddles and kisses from you

Take care and until later.....

Aloha everyone from Shadow

 

[Gil_T2]

WELCOME BACK, GIL!!!!!

Glad to hear you're home. Yes Bandit deserves an ovation but I'm sure she's more than happy to have cuddles and kisses from you

Take care and until later.....

Aloha everyone from Shadow

What a range of things happening to me as I slowly mend but on the up side things are getting back to near normal, i'm still behind the 8 ball with thing springing up like not being able to shit to shit pouring out of me (some will say the best part of me gone) but the love & care BANDIT gives with no expecation except for my return to a health level we had.

Battling the constant pain without meds is a battle in it's self but so much easier here than in hospital & rest times are just that not like hospital where your at by nurses,docs other patients & their troubles....hospitals are NOT for sick ppl to get better as it's impossible there.

SHADOW....you are in our thoughts as you get near your next hospital visit & know this Op will be the one.

 

[Don K Dyck]

good Lord-it's 4:10 AM and i've read this whole thread tonite. i just signed up @ literotic this evening to submit a few poems i'd wrote and maybe get some constructive help. man, did i. it's a wonder my keyboard didn't short out from all the tears. i truly felt a wonderful bond with so many of you good people. gil, thanks for starting this thread and get well soon. bandit, don k, brown eyes 26 and kikmosa and many others, your heartfelt advice and words of encouragement truely touched me. hell, i'm 46 yrs old, work in the oilfield in a stressful, demanding job and i'm sitting here bawling my head off. i have'nt cried in years. it's time i think. i was married to a woman i dearly loved for 27 yrs. still do i guess. abuse comes in so many forms doesn't it. physical, mental and emotional come to mind. i'm trying to decide if one is less painful than the other and i've come to the conclusion that abuse in any form is an injustice against your soul. i don't want to get to windy about this but i've suffered emotionally long enough. i was almost ready to go back to her when i came to the part about abusers not really changing their ways and to find inner happiness and the 3 rules from don k. i am ready for the battle, i will find true happiness someday, i do have worth as a human. thank you all for showing me the way. anywho, i still have a few poems to submit. i've never wrote poetry before this small bump in my life started. i find it helps me cope with my feelings. it's kinda dark, not like the real me. please look for them wherever they put them here. 1st one called "i'm tired", then "a man betrayed" , "i've got a secret" and my fave "the red-headed whore. again, thank you so much and God bless all of you. teton

Hi Teton,

Welcome to Lit . . . and one of Gil's caring threads . . . the jubilation you see on this thread is because Gil has returned home from hospital into the wicked care of Bandit . . . who doubtless will give him all the attention necessary to keep him in the manner he wishes to remain accustomed . . .

Drop by any time . . . it gets boring lidtening to Gil boast about his latest blow job . . . makes all us other males wild with jealousy, the lucky bastard . . .

<hey Gil . . . can you lose those blue slippers???>

 

[Bandit58]

Hehe Don
The slippers are actually PURPLE
And they're mine not his.......

He's not quite up to blowjobs yet......but we're working on it......

 

[Gil_T2]

Hehe Don
The slippers are actually PURPLE
And they're mine not his.......

He's not quite up to blowjobs yet......but we're working on it......

 

[short_circutz]

I see from various posts through LIT that so many people have been abused in their relationships HOW as someone who cares do you help them to realise life can and will be better ?

It makes me ashamed to be a male at times.

I just started seeing a girl. Sometimes she will start getting "weird". She'll start shaking and avoid eye contact. You could see her fighting it. She doesn't want to talk about it, but she did say that it is due to something that has happened to her in the past that was bad. She wouldn't give more detail, and I didn't press. But I told her if she did want to talk about it that I'm there for her. She also said that it's noithing I have done, and that she trusts me.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Re: Re: How do you help someone get over being abused

Originally posted by short_circutz
I just started seeing a girl. Sometimes she will start getting "weird". She'll start shaking and avoid eye contact. You could see her fighting it. She doesn't want to talk about it, but she did say that it is due to something that has happened to her in the past that was bad. She wouldn't give more detail, and I didn't press. But I told her if she did want to talk about it that I'm there for her. She also said that it's noithing I have done, and that she trusts me.

Welcome short_circutz, we are all hear to listen and as you can tell by pasts posts we have experienced some form of abuse in our lifetime. This is a place to come to "let it out", read and to ask questions or advice. We're not professionals but we've been there through the bad times and we're all still on our healing journey.

It takes time for someone to "open up and talk" and even then they may not be giving the whole picture, so to speak. I know because I've been there and it took a lot of time and patience on the part of my SO to help me get through the "bad memories" times, When we first started going out I would retreat behind this invisible emotional wall I had built over the years and when he'd ask if something was wrong I'd automatically respond by saying "nothing" which was not true. Eventually I trusted and believed his sincerity and slowly began to talk about my past. I even let him read a book of poetry I wrote about my years of abuse (something I never allowed anyone to even see much less read). It takes time and patience; when she's ready to talk she will.

Patience is big on your part and letting her know you're there for her when she decides to share that part of her life with you is great. It isn't easy for most people who have been abused to trust others, really trust someone enough to share the painful memories with.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Bandit58
Hehe Don
The slippers are actually PURPLE
And they're mine not his.......

He's not quite up to blowjobs yet......but we're working on it......

Looks BLUE to me too but then again I'm color blind

PURPLE the color of royalty. I bow to thee Sir Gil.

A rose for Lady Bandit and Sir Gil.

"The rose blooms with love
but
your love for one another
does not falter
when the rose
is no longer."
-shadow

 

[Gil_T2]

Re: Re: How do you help someone get over being abused

I just started seeing a girl. Sometimes she will start getting "weird". She'll start shaking and avoid eye contact. You could see her fighting it. She doesn't want to talk about it, but she did say that it is due to something that has happened to her in the past that was bad. She wouldn't give more detail, and I didn't press. But I told her if she did want to talk about it that I'm there for her. She also said that it's noithing I have done, and that she trusts me.

Thanks for your post & I'd like to say your doing all the right things by not pressing the issue & supporting her, you might like to sit her infront of the puta & guide her through the thread so she can see that with trust & honesty the issues of the past can start to be weakened as some have done here.

 

[Gil_T2]

Re: Re: Re: How do you help someone get over being abused

Welcome short_circutz, we are all hear to listen and as you can tell by pasts posts we have experienced some form of abuse in our lifetime. This is a place to come to "let it out", read and to ask questions or advice. We're not professionals but we've been there through the bad times and we're all still on our healing journey.

It takes time for someone to "open up and talk" and even then they may not be giving the whole picture, so to speak. I know because I've been there and it took a lot of time and patience on the part of my SO to help me get through the "bad memories" times, When we first started going out I would retreat behind this invisible emotional wall I had built over the years and when he'd ask if something was wrong I'd automatically respond by saying "nothing" which was not true. Eventually I trusted and believed his sincerity and slowly began to talk about my past. I even let him read a book of poetry I wrote about my years of abuse (something I never allowed anyone to even see much less read). It takes time and patience; when she's ready to talk she will.

Patience is big on your part and letting her know you're there for her when she decides to share that part of her life with you is great. It isn't easy for most people who have been abused to trust others, really trust someone enough to share the painful memories with.

BEAUTIFULLY said SHADOW

 

[Gil_T2]

Looks BLUE to me too but then again I'm color blind

PURPLE the color of royalty. I bow to thee Sir Gil.

A rose for Lady Bandit and Sir Gil.

"The rose blooms with love
but
your love for one another
does not falter
when the rose
is no longer."
-shadow

The purple is BANDIT's favorite colour so i'm getting used to it but it does suit her.