Is it true that women over 50 become less active in sex as compared to men of same ages? What's your opinion about it?

[Young1234]

Your opinion or comments are required especially from ladies about their sexual response after crossing the age of 50. Thanks

 

[Nicenashguy615]

I think many will claim what my wife tells me which is confirmed by many of her friends. Perimenopause changes hormone chemistry in women drastically.

There are many side effects and one of the most common is lowered libido. Another is painful intercourse. Then there’s fatigue. These things combined cause many to not want it or at least less often.

My wife has been doing hormone therapy and it’s helped a lot but it’s not a magic cure all.

Before she recognized the symptoms, I found myself bothered by her lowered libido. Now that I understand it better, we try to work on it together.

 

[Kittenheels54]

I’m 54…I have been in perimenopause & now think I’m getting past it. In my experience I have a higher sex drive, no dryness, etc. I did get on a med for hot flashes & to help my mood swings & it helped greatly! My husband doesn’t have the drive I do but we are working through it

 

[LMWM321]

I'm a guy.. Sorry. But I know my wife agrees with the following point...

I think if a woman truly enjoyed sex those last few years before menopause, she'll be more motivated to find a way to enjoy sex after menopause. However, if sex was a toil because of health problems, or because her partner was a selfish and impatient dolt, well, I think a lot of woman will call a halt to sex at that point. Why? because sex after menopause is even MORE demanding of a patient, tender and selfless partner. And if a partner didn't possess those qualities before, she likely sees little hope he'll suddenly change. And post-menopausal sex without such a partner can be unpleasant at best, and painful at worst.

My wife went through menopause several years ago (at a younger than usual age). Thanks to a sex therapist and my wife's primary care physician, we are now enjoying the best sex of our marriage - but it didn't happen without work and a change of expectations. So mutually enjoyable sex after 50 is absolutely possible.

Here's our full story, if it will help...

Sex After Menopause

 

[PintlerMan]

Usually happens with the words "I do"

 

[Nicenashguy615]

I'm a guy.. Sorry. But I know my wife agrees with the following point...

I think if a woman truly enjoyed sex before menopause, she'll be more motivated to find way to enjoy sex after menopause. However, if sex was a toil before menopause because of a poor relationship and selfish sex-partner, I think a lot of woman call it quits after menopause because sex at that point takes more time, effort and a much more patient partner. And without all of those things, sex can actually become quite unpleasant, even painful.

My wife went through this not too long ago. Thanks to a sex therapist and my wife's primary care physician, we are now enjoying the best sex of our marriage.

Here's our full story, if it will help...

Sex After Menopause

That sounds logical but many women experience a kind of depression in perimenopause and that saps your interest. Depression is one of those states where you can’t really relate with how felt before. You just know how you feel now.

Not to say all women in perimenopause will experience this. In fact, it seems like a very unique situation for each person.

I can relate it to my own experience. I had a phenomenal sex life. Around fifty, my interest very slowly tapered. I still had interest but it didn’t motivate me much. Then I got a blood test and found I was very low in testosterone. Got treatment for that and bam, it all came back at once. It wasn’t that I couldn’t recall the good times. I just accepted that I was getting older. There’s a line in a movie stating, “I didn’t realize how empty my cup was until it was filled again.”

I think many women appreciate the great sex life they once had and accept that life changes us. Many doctors tell men and women to suck it up. Part of getting older. Fortunately, many don’t.

 

[LMWM321]

Many doctors tell men and women to suck it up. Part of getting older. Fortunately, many don’t.

Very very true! Doctors approaches can differ widely and be a reflection of their own values, relationships, and personal attitudes toward sex.

When my wife told her OBGYN, a woman in her early 70's, about her diminished interest in sex, she basically said, "Yes, dear, that happens to us gals as we get older. Just be thankful you're over the whole 'sex' thing... life will be easier for it." My wife (and I) was surprised and devastated. And this was an OBGYN!

But when my wife mentioned it to her Primary Care Doc - a much younger and seemingly more cheerful person - she said, "Well we can't let that stand! Sex is a very important part of a healthy life and marriage and there's no reason we can't find a way to help you resume enjoying it. Let's first try Buspirone (an anti-anxiety med that has been found to help improve low-libido for some women) and Estrodiol creme to help with vaginal dryness. If these don't help, we can discuss the pros/cons/ risks of hormone replacement therapy." She also suggested seeing a sex therapist which we did and found VERY helpful as well. The details of that are in the link in my post above.

My wife stopped the busprione fairly quickly, but continues using Estrodiol cream to this day.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm almost 51, and am in menopause. I've noticed my mind is still frisky, but my body is slow to catch up.
I'm really excited about cfnm because then there's not as much pressure for me to pleasure myself when all I want to do is make him cum.

I find it takes me longer to reach orgasm, but when I do, it's been easier for me to have multiples ...

So, I guess I fit the description of your question..

 

[UtilityCurve]

Very very true! Doctors approaches can differ widely and be a reflection of their own values, relationships, and personal attitudes toward sex.

When my wife told her OBGYN, a woman in her early 70's, about her diminished interest in sex, she basically said, "Yes, dear, that happens to us gals as we get older. Just be thankful you're over the whole 'sex' thing... life will be easier for it." My wife (and I) was surprised and devastated. And this was an OBGYN!

But when my wife mentioned it to her Primary Care Doc - a much younger and seemingly more cheerful person - she said, "Well we can't let that stand! Sex is a very important part of a healthy life and marriage and there's no reason we can't find a way to help you resume enjoying it. Let's first try Buspirone (an anti-anxiety med that has been found to help improve low-libido for some women) and Estrodiol creme to help with vaginal dryness. If these don't help, we can discuss the pros/cons/ risks of hormone replacement therapy." She also suggested seeing a sex therapist which we did and found VERY helpful as well. The details of that are in the link in my post above.

My wife stopped the busprione fairly quickly, but continues using Estrodiol cream to this day.

The OB/GYN must have an excellent marriage. (Sarcasm.) I'm sure she has been a source of joy to her husband.

 

[Saint_Ann]

If you're gettin' good sex before menopause, you're more likely to keep wanting good sex after. If your wife doesn't want sex anymore...

 

[LMWM321]

The OB/GYN must have an excellent marriage. (Sarcasm.) I'm sure she has been a source of joy to her husband.

Yeah, her marriage probably sucks. But we shouldn't assume it's her fault. After all, maybe her husband was a persistently selfish lover, or abusive.... Or maybe he had little or no libido. And years of living with someone like that highly influenced her view of sex.

All of that notwithstanding, it's important for people to seek out doctors who are committed to getting you back to doing the things you enjoy. If a man sees a doctor because of shoulder pain while golfing and the doctor says, "Yeah... that happens. But I won't treat you for it because golf is stupid - it's a time-waster and it's expensive." I think he'd seek out a different doctor. One who says, "I understand how important golf is to you so let's talk about the things that can be done to get you back on the course." It's no different when seeking a doctor for treatment of sexual problems.

 

[LMWM321]

While menopause is undoubtedly an asshole, there are other things, good things, that can happen as couples age that HELP sex. For us, our kids are now out of the house and doing well, we're no longer parenting our parents, our finances are reasonably okay and our careers are winding down so there are no late nights working or work trips.

These all HELP our sex-life by giving us the time and headspace to focus on it more. Plus, knowing that health issues could arise fairly soon, we're determined to squeeze some kind of sex (i.e., not necessarily PIV) into as many days or nights as possible. If either of us has an urge for something, there is always something the other can do to accommodate that doesn't necessarily involve full-on PIV.

And taking the expectation of orgasms off the table has eliminated the anxiety that began to accompany sex when menopause began.

 

[kevinj3636]

I'm 53 and dealing with perimenopause. There's definitely a difference between where I am now and where I used to be, but I'm not sure how it would compare to men my age.
From a physical standpoint my natural lubrication isn't always enough anymore, so we keep my favorite lube close by in case we need it. It also seems to take a little longer before I'm stretched out enough for comfortable penetration. 10 years ago I felt like I was ready instantly, and now sometimes he has to start with one finger and go from there. I'm always in the mood at that point but it helps me get there physically if I can make him cum first.
Mentally, I've found that I don't think about it quite as often if I'm involved in doing other things. I can even go a couple of days without feeling that desperate need.
The exception is when I get to enjoy something that plays into my kinks. That seems to jumpstart everything and I'm ready without any other foreplay. And then I can't stop thinking about it for days. I think that's going to be the key to enjoying an active sex life as time goes on. It's such a core part of me that I'm pretty sure hormones aren't going to affect it.

Very nice. That helps many of us know what we are dealing with with our wives. Thank you for sharing

 

[Lifestyle66]

For a year or two, my wife (now mid-sixties) was progressively feeling more lethargic, more restless at night, and had a declining interest in sex.

Hormone replacement therapy took care of all those symptoms. For the past three years, she's been going every three months for "pellets" via a health spa. She knows when they are wearing off when those symptoms return, and she doesn't like the mandatory wait for them to be replenished (prescription med which can't legally be administered in less than 90-day periods.)

The only caution which causes many doctors to ignore this option is there's debate over the hormones increasing the chance of breast cancer in women. My wife is already high risk for breast cancer and going every six months for tests. And between her breast specialist and the hormone HRT doc, they agree that her risk is being monitored well enough and it's a "quality of life" decision for her.

BTW: My wife readily shares this information about her risks and the benefits of those "pellets" with friends, family, and anyone else just in passing. To her, it's about informing MORE women of how to improve their lives (as well as bragging about her sex life.)

 

[PhoenixRyzing]

Menopause tends to come early in my wife's family. At 46, right before perimenopause hit in earnest, she had a massive spike in libido. At 47, it plummeted. She's now approaching 48. She's gone on some herbs for hormonal balance which have helped with peri symptoms, haven't done that much for libido. What's interesting is that about 6 months ago we both (I'm about to turn 55) started lifting weights (before we mostly just walked for exercise). She's experienced a modest increase in libido. The impact on me has been more remarkable. My drive had been kind of low, and my erections were decent. But after a couple of months of working out (and upping protein intake), my libido has gone through the roof and my erections are rock hard and frequent and happening much more quickly. Been jacking off two times a day after previously maybe 4 times a week, and waking up with insane boners like a steel rod. I haven't my T tested but I can only assume that's a big part of it. Anyway, both my wife and I are not keen on her doing HRT if she can avoid it, and exercise has shown some improvements for her.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Don’t we already have about 8 of these threads in order to once again conclude “It’s different for every woman; women see your doctors if there’s issues, men put out some extra effort regardless? (Yes even you the one who is convinced he is blameless, what could it hurt?)”

 

[Sweetdreams71]

When the decrease in hormones hit, it helps alot if you have a great relationship with your spouse, cause if you don't, you just end up hating them.

 

[Erosfan]

I'm almost 51, and am in menopause. I've noticed my mind is still frisky, but my body is slow to catch up.
I'm really excited about cfnm because then there's not as much pressure for me to pleasure myself when all I want to do is make him cum.

I find it takes me longer to reach orgasm, but when I do, it's been easier for me to have multiples ...

So, I guess I fit the description of your question..

I love CFNM, especially when my lady makes me cum.