Women who like to be taken forcefully

[eroticspank]

Hi .. I know that I am very plain vanilla. I hope that the ladies will help me
understand ...

With all of the terrible experiences that woman had in the past that are only
now coming out because of the Me Too movement ... the women were abused,
touched against their will, raped ... yet there are many comments here about
how women fantasize and role play be having that done to them ... being
slapped or spanked, hair being pulled, forced to suck cocks, being choked
or gagged by them, forced to take cock ...

Yes i know it is all role play ... but ... please help me to understand how this
is so different from the abuse that so many women have had to undergo in
the past.I can understand the sexual pleasure of being controlled and by doing
what you are told ... i just don't understand how violence, physical abuse, or
rape play can bring pleasure to you.

I could never do that to anyone, male or female, even in role play.

Please help me.
Thank You
Sam

I would say it is hard to explain what is in our heads. One man's (or woman's) fantasy is another person's nightmare. If you look on lit here for Reluctance/Non consent stories you will find some very good ones that may fit your own fantasies and turn you on...or at least you may read some that are erotic to you and will help you see the turn on to being "forced" in the bedroom.

There are so many different scenarios that it is hard to point at any particular one. However, here is one example:

I am a man but I have been told that most women in general liked to be desired physically. Sure they like to be desired on all levels, mental, physical, emotional, but in this case I am just talking about the physical. How about a man who is attractive that lusts after a woman SO MUCH he can't control himself, he just has to have her and turns into a grunting, animalistic caveman? To be taken so rough, with such urgency, and ravenous behavior is a BIG turn on for some. The man gets to such a fever pitch of lust that the eventual release causes a transfer of a lot of energy into the woman, not just cum. There can be even an emotional release by the man and ALL of this is easily felt and taken in by the woman. For some women, just letting this scene play out results in a feel good emotional reaction of their own and that is not counting any positive physical reactions like being turned on or even orgasm.

It is all about what we say in our heads. In this scenario above it could be the woman tells herself that maybe she is sexy and it builds her confidence. She craves more of that type of adoration and seeks out those type of scenes. But that is just one example of what may be said in her head.

A fantasy typically is a story already played out in your head. You know the beginning, middle, and the end. You have control and there is no chance of anything going wrong. That is safe. When people role play they have already sat down, talked about fantasies, discussed limits, and coordinated rules. The Dom/Domme or role play partner takes the sub on a journey that will touch all of her/his fantasies while still going into uncharted but safe waters. If the sub feels safe, then the sub can truly let go. This can be very liberating. This is another big turn on to non consent role play, giving up control to someone else.

That is my 2 cents.

ES

 

[MarciMay]

I have been forced by two men , during I was scared to death but later I got real turned on by it

 

[cyberking001]

thanks

Erotic Spank, thank you for your answer.

I think that the main themes in all of this are:

1. Both parties know it is consensual on both sides.
2. One or both parties had a fantasy before it started.
3. Each party knows and respects the other party's limits.
4. Each party knows the other before they get into
the act, so the trust is already there.
5. Both parties respect the safe word and will stop.

What I read and feel, both from men and women, is that
what is going on is a consensual acting out of a fantasy,
that in the end will satisfy both partners. That, of course,
is the opposite of real abuse and real disrespect.

The conflict for me is that in this age of "Me Too," I feel
as if I cannot even look at a girl/woman with admiration
without being considered a dirty old man (you would be
half right, I leave it up to you to decide which half hahaha).
I must also walk on tip-toe lest I accidentally say or do the
wrong thing, like giving her a compliment, or calling her
"honey" - which for me, is giving a very genuine compliment.

And God forbid if I touch her, even if by accident! I can see
that one coming right back to bite me, maybe 5, 10, 20, or
God knows, 40 years later ... and they will automatically
believe her over me anyway. To this day, if a single female
and I are walking towards each other on the same sidewalk,
I will cross the street, or at least move to the street or grass.

And to make matters worse, as I said, I was severely abused
by my ex-wife, as were both my kids, and we all bear the
emotional scars to this day, so that makes it even harder
for me to understand, and that is why I asked.

So with all those delicious hangups messing up my brain,
you can probably see why I am conflicted when girls/women
say they want to be forced, spanked, slapped, made to give
whatever kind of crazy sex the man demands -- add to that
all of the allegations and accusations that you hear and see
and read daily on every tv and radio station and in every
newspaper .... and I am more messed up than the abusers.

Anyway, thanks again for the input ... would love to read
more, both from males and females.

Take care everyone and play safely
Sam

 

[Ginlover]

For me it’s trust

This’ll possibly confuse even more. I am an abuse survivor and instantly go on alert with new men. BUT when I truly trust a man I’m completely turned on by him wanting me and forcible taking me. That goes further than prior consent, it has to have that deep level of trust to work.

 

[eroticspank]

This’ll possibly confuse even more. I am an abuse survivor and instantly go on alert with new men. BUT when I truly trust a man I’m completely turned on by him wanting me and forcible taking me. That goes further than prior consent, it has to have that deep level of trust to work.

I totally get this^ and what @MarciMay said above. I believe there are times when you experience real abuse or rape (I am speaking from experience as a former victim) and you get turned on by it. There have been instances where a woman is being raped and she has an orgasm from it.

In my case, there were certain aspects of the situation that were a turn on for me in the first place. So I found myself alone, with a woman who was very dominant, and very few options to escape. I never would have been in that situation if there was not some things that turned me on about it. I feel it can be the same for others...both men and women.

Later on when you reflect on it and maybe go through therapy there is a lot of shame that you got turned on by an act of abuse. BUT in your reflections on it, your mind probably blocked out the abuse part and focused on the parts that turned you on, so when you think about it, it becomes a major turn on.

So in my head the scene happens very differently touching all of my turn ons and resulting in a very satisfying time for me both emotionally and physically. I seek out a partner that can provide that for me or play that kind of role. If I can find someone like that it can be healing as well as satisfying, shame is replaced with Joy.

ES

 

[SophieUK]

I totally get this^ and what @MarciMay said above. I believe there are times when you experience real abuse or rape (I am speaking from experience as a former victim) and you get turned on by it. There have been instances where a woman is being raped and she has an orgasm from it.

In my case, there were certain aspects of the situation that were a turn on for me in the first place. So I found myself alone, with a woman who was very dominant, and very few options to escape. I never would have been in that situation if there was not some things that turned me on about it. I feel it can be the same for others...both men and women.

Later on when you reflect on it and maybe go through therapy there is a lot of shame that you got turned on by an act of abuse. BUT in your reflections on it, your mind probably blocked out the abuse part and focused on the parts that turned you on, so when you think about it, it becomes a major turn on.

So in my head the scene happens very differently touching all of my turn ons and resulting in a very satisfying time for me both emotionally and physically. I seek out a partner that can provide that for me or play that kind of role. If I can find someone like that it can be healing as well as satisfying, shame is replaced with Joy.

ES

I’m sure this will resonate with others as it does with me... the shame... the blocking out.. a ‘need’ that’s embarrassing sometimes (not sure about the orgasm thing but I’m no expert just dubious)

 

[eroticspank]

Erotic Spank, thank you for your answer.

I think that the main themes in all of this are:

1. Both parties know it is consensual on both sides.
2. One or both parties had a fantasy before it started.
3. Each party knows and respects the other party's limits.
4. Each party knows the other before they get into
the act, so the trust is already there.
5. Both parties respect the safe word and will stop.


Take care everyone and play safely
Sam

You are welcome and I like your comments as well. The 5 points above are a great guide to good play.

As far as the rest our your comments I understand and realize that in today's society men can be looked at with a critical eye with any type of sexual advance or innuendo.

However, I really don't think we as men should suppress our natural instincts for mating and sex. I should feel this way or I should feel that way...it is not proper for me to think of her sexually etc. What ever you are thinking, honor it, understand it and perhaps share it with your wife/partner. Of course you would not share with a woman you just met or don't know. However, once in a relationship MAYBE you can share with your partner your sexual urges, how she turns you on physically, etc. If not, that is fine but either way understand when you feel that way it is part of you and your instincts and don't feel shame about it.

Year ago I would have never had admitted this but there are sometimes when I just want to FUCK my wife. I see myself doing it roughly, emptying my load, and then being done with little or no thoughts about her pleasure. Sometimes it happens and not until I am done do think about her and her needs because I am no longer in a fog of lust. She actually likes to watch me in that fog and sexual urgency, especially knowing she is providing me the relief...she likes my facial expressions and moans.

ES

 

[eroticspank]

I’m sure this will resonate with others as it does with me... the shame... the blocking out.. a ‘need’ that’s embarrassing sometimes (not sure about the orgasm thing but I’m no expert just dubious)

I understand. I am glad it resonates with you. As far as the orgasm thing, I just read about it in my research when I was going through therapy etc. I have never met a woman that it happened to. But as a man it did happen to me and I was told by my therapist that orgasm is just a physical reaction to stimulation and not to feel bad about it. I know for women emotion can play a big part, but I have read about cases where it has happened.

ES

 

[cyberking001]

Hey everyone,

Sorry to get so philosophical and analytical about all of this!

It is just from reading the comments in the thread, then matching them up
both to my own past experience and to what is being brought up by women
regarding past abuses, that I could not understand the anticipation or pleasure.
However, thanks to those of you who have posted replies, I do think that I am
beginning to understand.

I forgot to add before, that even some "aggressive" porn is very hard for
me to watch (I don't, actually), but that I do not judge - to each his own
-- but I still don't understand (and never will) the thrill that some people
feel when they see innocent people, especially kids or animals, be abused.

All I would ask is that if that is the kind of thing that turns you on, especially
if you are the dom, is to leave it in the privacy of your own play space, and
to be courteous and respectful and humane in your outside actions and behaviour.

And thanks again to everyone who was thoughtful enough to respond.
Sam

 

[Cindy69love]

I have been forced by two men , during I was scared to death but later I got real turned on by it

I love to be forced!!

 

[cyberking001]

Hi again,

Here is the part that confuses (and frightens!) me ...

A few women have posted on here that they have been
forced, or even raped in the past ... and that they had
an orgasm, either at the time, or when role-playing the
rape with their partners, and that they even had the "need."

Please tell me ... is this not the legal argument that the
defence lawyers for the rapists always use in court? That
the woman was secretly (or not so secretly) asking for it
by the way that she dressed or the way that she flirted,
that she really enjoyed it, and therefore it was not rape?
That, in fact, she "deserved" it??? Does this make the
act of rape justifiable??? Does no actually mean yes?
Should a guy who is on a date with a girl who says no
force himself upon her because secretly she wants it?

In addition, how do we justify that argument when there
are rapists who prey on underage children??? And in light
of the current Epstein case, how do we justify sex traffickers,
especially (again) those who supply underage children?
What about Larry Nassar, who sexually abused 80 legal girls?
Or Bill Cosby, who drugged them before he raped them?
And what about boys (or men) who are raped and abused?
Where on this sliding scale do we draw the line?

To those women who were raped in the past ... and who
post here that you had an orgasm ... what, if anything,
would you like to have seen as punishment to the rapist?
What would you say to him now? Thank you???

I am sorry to be a downer in what should be a pleasurable
topic. I am trying to come to grips in my own mind with
behaviour that some find intensely pleasurable, even as
they conjure images of violence.

Thank you all again,
Sam

 

[AlwaysFara]

I miss Primalex.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Hi again,

Here is the part that confuses (and frightens!) me ...

A few women have posted on here that they have been
forced, or even raped in the past ... and that they had
an orgasm, either at the time, or when role-playing the
rape with their partners, and that they even had the "need."

Please tell me ... is this not the legal argument that the
defence lawyers for the rapists always use in court? That
the woman was secretly (or not so secretly) asking for it
by the way that she dressed or the way that she flirted,
that she really enjoyed it, and therefore it was not rape?
That, in fact, she "deserved" it??? Does this make the
act of rape justifiable??? Does no actually mean yes?
Should a guy who is on a date with a girl who says no
force himself upon her because secretly she wants it?

In addition, how do we justify that argument when there
are rapists who prey on underage children??? And in light
of the current Epstein case, how do we justify sex traffickers,
especially (again) those who supply underage children?
What about Larry Nassar, who sexually abused 80 legal girls?
Or Bill Cosby, who drugged them before he raped them?
And what about boys (or men) who are raped and abused?
Where on this sliding scale do we draw the line?

To those women who were raped in the past ... and who
post here that you had an orgasm ... what, if anything,
would you like to have seen as punishment to the rapist?
What would you say to him now? Thank you???

I am sorry to be a downer in what should be a pleasurable
topic. I am trying to come to grips in my own mind with
behaviour that some find intensely pleasurable, even as
they conjure images of violence.

Thank you all again,
Sam

I’m not justifying any of those things.
My sex is consensual. There’s communication. And limits and boundaries.
What goes on in between that is between the adults involved.

Stop trying to make it into more.

 

[MarciMay]

At the time I was raped forced what ever you call it , I was what you would have defined as a good girl, in school great grades, all that. My sexual experience was limited, I was no Virgin but no Mary Popins either. I was house sitting for a woman I had a relationship with and was out on her deck in the sun, a couple of friends of hers came by and when she was not there they wanted to hand out, I wasn’t very comfortable but I figured they where her friends, I went in to the bathroom and when I came out they where there and before I knew it I was in the bedroom being touched by the bigger one, they didn’t stop,they never hurt me like beat me , they where actually very passionate. I didn’t say yes and I didn’t fight back, and yes I had a couple orgasms.
After I asked my self why was I so scared but my body felt good , I was confused, this is what started my open and I’ll admit slutty attitude I have now, but relationships don’t work for me, me and the woman I was sitting for are off and on till this day , bf can’t handle their woman being a slut , sex is just that but guys feel you need to only be with them. It was a argument with one that lead me to GH and ABS Theaters, he said if I’m such a slut I should prove it took me and the third cock he couldn’t take it and left. Just a little that changed me.

 

[eroticspank]

Hi again,

Here is the part that confuses (and frightens!) me ...

A few women have posted on here that they have been
forced, or even raped in the past ... and that they had
an orgasm, either at the time, or when role-playing the
rape with their partners, and that they even had the "need."

Please tell me ... is this not the legal argument that the
defence lawyers for the rapists always use in court? That
the woman was secretly (or not so secretly) asking for it
by the way that she dressed or the way that she flirted,
that she really enjoyed it, and therefore it was not rape?
That, in fact, she "deserved" it??? Does this make the
act of rape justifiable??? Does no actually mean yes?
Should a guy who is on a date with a girl who says no
force himself upon her because secretly she wants it?

In addition, how do we justify that argument when there
are rapists who prey on underage children??? And in light
of the current Epstein case, how do we justify sex traffickers,
especially (again) those who supply underage children?
What about Larry Nassar, who sexually abused 80 legal girls?
Or Bill Cosby, who drugged them before he raped them?
And what about boys (or men) who are raped and abused?
Where on this sliding scale do we draw the line?

To those women who were raped in the past ... and who
post here that you had an orgasm ... what, if anything,
would you like to have seen as punishment to the rapist?
What would you say to him now? Thank you???

I am sorry to be a downer in what should be a pleasurable
topic. I am trying to come to grips in my own mind with
behaviour that some find intensely pleasurable, even as
they conjure images of violence.

Thank you all again,
Sam

All of those arguments above are very old, outdated, and debunked many years ago. I think we are getting pretty far from the main topic here. You can look online and do research to find out more about what I am talking about.

My statement earlier above, "The therapist said that an orgasm is just a physical reaction to stimuli and not to be ashamed if it happens during a rape." That statement alone and helped many rape victims, including me!

The same is true if you are tied up and tickled. You will jump about and even laugh if you are ticklish. That does not mean that you are enjoying it or like the person doing it.

ES

 

[AlwaysFara]

All of those arguments above are very old, outdated, and debunked many years ago. I think we are getting pretty far from the main topic here. You can look online and do research to find out more about what I am talking about.

My statement earlier above, "The therapist said that an orgasm is just a physical reaction to stimuli and not to be ashamed if it happens during a rape." That statement alone and helped many rape victims, including me!

The same is true if you are tied up and tickled. You will jump about and even laugh if you are ticklish. That does not mean that you are enjoying it or like the person doing it.

ES

Perfect.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I enjoy forceful play but it is always consensual. Nothing like that is done without talking about it first. If something comes up in the moment and I seem to be into it, he asks if it's okay and I'll say yes or no. If yes, he'll keep going. If not, he stops. Like many, I have a very demanding profession and love to lose control and not think during sex. I have my most intense orgasms that way.

 

[TaraForFun]

What I read and feel, both from men and women, is that
what is going on is a consensual acting out of a fantasy,
that in the end will satisfy both partners. That, of course,
is the opposite of real abuse and real disrespect.

Correct.

The conflict for me is that in this age of "Me Too," I feel
as if I cannot even look at a girl/woman with admiration
without being considered a dirty old man (you would be
half right, I leave it up to you to decide which half hahaha).
I must also walk on tip-toe lest I accidentally say or do the
wrong thing, like giving her a compliment, or calling her
"honey" - which for me, is giving a very genuine compliment.

And God forbid if I touch her, even if by accident! I can see
that one coming right back to bite me, maybe 5, 10, 20, or
God knows, 40 years later

You know what's even more annoying? Spending most of your life being eyed up by men, having men make lewd comments about you, have men hit on you and keep hitting on you when you gently turn them down, have them call you a bitch when you walk away, having to second-guess every guy who pays you a compliment, and having guys in clubs and bars grab your ass and them laughing if you get annoyed over it.

... and they will automatically
believe her over me anyway. To this day, if a single female
and I are walking towards each other on the same sidewalk,
I will cross the street, or at least move to the street or grass.

People do NOT automatically believe women when they say they've been sexually harassed! Just read any comments section about a news article about a women saying she's been sexually harassed or raped. There will be LOADS of people defending the accused and saying the victim is either lying for attention or that she wanted it.

And to make matters worse, as I said, I was severely abused
by my ex-wife, as were both my kids, and we all bear the
emotional scars to this day, so that makes it even harder
for me to understand, and that is why I asked.

So with all those delicious hangups messing up my brain,
you can probably see why I am conflicted when girls/women
say they want to be forced, spanked, slapped, made to give
whatever kind of crazy sex the man demands -- add to that
all of the allegations and accusations that you hear and see
and read daily on every tv and radio station and in every
newspaper .... and I am more messed up than the abusers.

Maybe you should consider that women are individuals, with individual needs and desires and fetishes and kinks. Some women like to be spanked. Some woman like gentle sex. Sometimes, the same women is into both those things!

You've already realized that consent is important when it comes to acting out a fantasy. That's the difference. An abuser doesn't care about consent. A woman fantasising about being taken roughly is still in control of the fantasy, even if she fantasises about giving up that control.

 

[eroticspank]

Maybe you should consider that women are individuals, with individual needs and desires and fetishes and kinks. Some women like to be spanked. Some woman like gentle sex. Sometimes, the same women is into both those things!

An abuser doesn't care about consent. A woman fantasizing about being taken roughly is still in control of the fantasy, even if she fantasizes about giving up that control.

Well said all of your comments, especially these above. Just because you have a particular fantasy, it does not mean you should be treated poorly as a person. I can't explain why people do it, but some certainly do.

ES

 

[TaraForFun]

Well said all of your comments, especially these above. Just because you have a particular fantasy, it does not mean you should be treated poorly as a person. I can't explain why people do it, but some certainly do.

ES

I think people like that assume that since Person A (a woman or man) is submissive and likes to be taken forcefully, Person A likes to be taken forcefully all the time and by anyone, instead of Person A only wanting that with a partner they've discussed limits with, and even then Person A might not want that every time they have sex.

 

[Jing83]

Agreed. It should still be on a situation by situation basis, not all the time.

Sometimes men take advantage women’s (natural?) submissiveness

 

[golden_thong]

I live for rough sex... simply just love being pinned down, hair pulled, spanked and gagged! Hearing his strong masculine voice demand me to perform specific acts is a major turn on! And giving deep-throat blow jobs in positions that allow the man to be in control of me? hot damn. I crave that raw emotion! You just need to be aware of your limits and open to talk about it - the rest is fucking good so go for it!

 

[swtgrlnxtdr]

I live for rough sex... simply just love being pinned down, hair pulled, spanked and gagged! Hearing his strong masculine voice demand me to perform specific acts is a major turn on! And giving deep-throat blow jobs in positions that allow the man to be in control of me? hot damn. I crave that raw emotion! You just need to be aware of your limits and open to talk about it - the rest is fucking good so go for it!

I totally agree.

 

[LauraWilling]

I live for rough sex... simply just love being pinned down, hair pulled, spanked and gagged! Hearing his strong masculine voice demand me to perform specific acts is a major turn on! And giving deep-throat blow jobs in positions that allow the man to be in control of me? hot damn. I crave that raw emotion! You just need to be aware of your limits and open to talk about it - the rest is fucking good so go for it!

As swtgrlnxtdr also said" I agree" This is exactly how I feel Being as small as I am it is easy to manhandle me by even the average sized and strength men so go for it with me guys after we have an agreement of limits, which I have very few, I love it.

 

[eroticspank]

I live for rough sex... simply just love being pinned down, hair pulled, spanked and gagged! Hearing his strong masculine voice demand me to perform specific acts is a major turn on! And giving deep-throat blow jobs in positions that allow the man to be in control of me? hot damn. I crave that raw emotion! You just need to be aware of your limits and open to talk about it - the rest is fucking good so go for it!

Well said! I think the raw emotion part is a very good point. I am usually very calm and stoic in person. I show some emotion but rarely a lot and rarely in front of or with my woman. Years ago I was with a gf and I lost control. I attacked her with raw emotion and she loved it. I was worried that I was close to rape but she saw it as the biggest compliment she could get that kind of emotion out of me and loved it.

She reacted to the situation a bit differently than described above and became Dominant. She began to encourage that kind of "out of control" sex by me and learned to tease me to the point of losing control. It worked perfectly with our personalities and she became more in control of our rough scene.

ES