The Naked Party Thread

[jeanne_d_artois]

I get random PMs from people who don't read my profile.

Perhaps they think my AV is me.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I get random PMs from people who don't read my profile.

Perhaps they think my AV is me.

Or perhaps they know, Ogg!

Maybe my non-PMers think my avatar is me too, and wish to avoid bestiality, LOL.

for the divine jeanne, whom I am rushing to PM.

 

[annanova]

Equal opportunities lover lad? Couldn't give a stuff who you are or what you look like, just ever hopeful!

I get random PMs from people who don't read my profile.

Perhaps they think my AV is me.

Heh, they must really be hopeful as I don't have an avatar. Once I changed my status to "Green-Eyed Elegance," I did get a PM from a guy who hoped... well, I'm not sure what he was hoping for although he said something about a webcam.

I've had a few that were very politely phrased and have responded to them, but those are few and far between and generally don't last long.

 

[johneb87]

Good morning. Rolf, coffee please. Beautiful sunny weather today. To bad I'll be spending most of it locked in the dungeon of the office.

 

[steve44uk]

Evenin' all. Funny old day... Lots of stuff achieved work-wise. Lots of emotional upheaval (not mine) as well. I may have wine tonight...

 

[annanova]

Good morning. Rolf, coffee please. Beautiful sunny weather today. To bad I'll be spending most of it locked in the dungeon of the office.

Lovely, warmish day here, too. Like you though, I'm stuck inside. I'll just never understand why people insist on mowing their lawns when I'm in the mood to enjoy a sunny day....

Evenin' all. Funny old day... Lots of stuff achieved work-wise. Lots of emotional upheaval (not mine) as well. I may have wine tonight...

Wine is always good. Glad to hear you got lots done at work.

 

[steve44uk]

Lovely, warmish day here, too. Like you though, I'm stuck inside. I'll just never understand why people insist on mowing their lawns when I'm in the mood to enjoy a sunny day....


Wine is always good. Glad to hear you got lots done at work.

Cheeky little Merlot / Tempranillo blend had been opened. Let quaffing commence...

Been to a meeting this evening about my eldest son's rugby four to Canada next year. We have a lot of fundraising to do over the next year...

I mostly love where we live, but the borderline-obsessional drive to mow the lawn as soon as the rain stops drives me fucking crazy. Same goes for car-washing...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Cheeky little Merlot / Tempranillo blend had been opened. Let quaffing commence...

Been to a meeting this evening about my eldest son's rugby four to Canada next year. We have a lot of fundraising to do over the next year...

I mostly love where we live, but the borderline-obsessional drive to mow the lawn as soon as the rain stops drives me fucking crazy. Same goes for car-washing...

If they're playing in my college town, put some money on your son's team to win: our men have even lost big to the women's team.

We've just been notified of the amended city nuisance by-law: Absolutely no mowing of lawns on Sundays.

 

[sheablue]

Cheeky little Merlot / Tempranillo blend had been opened. Let quaffing commence...

Been to a meeting this evening about my eldest son's rugby four to Canada next year. We have a lot of fundraising to do over the next year...

I mostly love where we live, but the borderline-obsessional drive to mow the lawn as soon as the rain stops drives me fucking crazy. Same goes for car-washing...

Enjoy, Steve! I wish I had a nice wine to quaff right now. Or that it was quaffing time. I opened a bottle last night to drink with my delicious salmon and asparagus and greens, and it was so terrible I poured the whole bottle down the drain.

Hmmm ... I guess that one half of a glass was before the whiskey. No wonder I didn't finish my blog post, as fun as it was to write about sex dreams. I've just posted it now, and now I need some cooling off. Phew!

Rolf! Could I pretty please get a tall icy cherry limeade?

Oh, and don't get me started on the obsessive lawn mowing. We have a self proclaimed Mayor of our street, and he loves to tell you when your grass is getting too high.


Enjoy your evenings!

 

[steve44uk]

Enjoy, Steve! I wish I had a nice wine to quaff right now. Or that it was quaffing time. I opened a bottle last night to drink with my delicious salmon and asparagus and greens, and it was so terrible I poured the whole bottle down the drain.

Hmmm ... I guess that one half of a glass was before the whiskey. No wonder I didn't finish my blog post, as fun as it was to write about sex dreams. I've just posted it now, and now I need some cooling off. Phew!

Rolf! Could I pretty please get a tall icy cherry limeade?

Oh, and don't get me started on the obsessive lawn mowing. We have a self proclaimed Mayor of our street, and he loves to tell you when your grass is getting too high.


Enjoy your evenings!

I've told this story here before, but before you joined us, so apologies to the rest.

I'm the slum neighbour on our estate. I regularly leave as long as three or four weeks between mows. The shame.

A few years ago, I overheard the little girl from across the road Taking to my eldest. She said, "My daddy says your grass is always too long..." so in my sweetest, most reasonable voice, I said to her, "Sweetheart. Do me a favour and ask your daddy to come across and tell me how short he thinks my grass ought to be." Then I stood there, all 6'4" and 20 stone of me, smiling across the road while daddy pretended to dash inside to answer a pressing phone call.

I'm soft as muck, really, but sometimes, being this size has its advantages...

Olaf! Drink for the lady...

 

[annanova]

Cheeky little Merlot / Tempranillo blend had been opened. Let quaffing commence...

Been to a meeting this evening about my eldest son's rugby four to Canada next year. We have a lot of fundraising to do over the next year...

I mostly love where we live, but the borderline-obsessional drive to mow the lawn as soon as the rain stops drives me fucking crazy. Same goes for car-washing...

I've got a nice Cab/Merlot to enjoy with dinner before rehearsal.

Good luck with the fundraising! My nephew's school is constantly doing fundraisers because the idiot voters like to let things go until the last possible minute when it comes to approving levy issues.

If they're playing in my college town, put some money on your son's team to win: our men have even lost big to the women's team.

We've just been notified of the amended city nuisance by-law: Absolutely no mowing of lawns on Sundays.

Oh, I like your town! I'd love to be able to enjoy my deck one day a week.

Enjoy, Steve! I wish I had a nice wine to quaff right now. Or that it was quaffing time. I opened a bottle last night to drink with my delicious salmon and asparagus and greens, and it was so terrible I poured the whole bottle down the drain.

Hmmm ... I guess that one half of a glass was before the whiskey. No wonder I didn't finish my blog post, as fun as it was to write about sex dreams. I've just posted it now, and now I need some cooling off. Phew!

Rolf! Could I pretty please get a tall icy cherry limeade?

Oh, and don't get me started on the obsessive lawn mowing. We have a self proclaimed Mayor of our street, and he loves to tell you when your grass is getting too high.

Enjoy your evenings!

shea, it's always five o'clock somewhere! What in the world did you open to go with the salmon that was so awful? I want to know so that I never buy it. You were blogging about sex dreams? I wrote stories about mine.

I will never understand obsessive lawn mowing. I used to work with civic ordinances and yard maintenance is among them. The thing is, as long as the yard is tidy and the lawn is not long enough for rodents to hide in, why should anyone else care how frequently it is mowed?

I've told this story here before, but before you joined us, so apologies to the rest.

I'm the slum neighbour on our estate. I regularly leave as long as three or four weeks between mows. The shame.

A few years ago, I overheard the little girl from across the road Taking to my eldest. She said, "My daddy says your grass is always too long..." so in my sweetest, most reasonable voice, I said to her, "Sweetheart. Do me a favour and ask your daddy to come across and tell me how short he thinks my grass ought to be." Then I stood there, all 6'4" and 20 stone of me, smiling across the road while daddy pretended to dash inside to answer a pressing phone call.

I'm soft as muck, really, but sometimes, being this size has its advantages...

Olaf! Drink for the lady...

L O L!! I'd never heard that story, steve! Seriously, how short did he think your lawn needed to be? It IS possible to have too short a lawn, people. Grrr.

 

[johneb87]

Rolf, Captain and coke. Mind if I borrow someone's lawn to lay down and get lost in the clouds for a bit?

 

[Handley_Page]

We've just been notified of the amended city nuisance by-law:
Absolutely no mowing of lawns on Sundays.

Does that actually mean "no noisy lawnmowers"
or does it mean -
"Nobody is to do any work on their lawns" ?

 

[steve44uk]

I've got a nice Cab/Merlot to enjoy with dinner before rehearsal.

Good luck with the fundraising! My nephew's school is constantly doing fundraisers because the idiot voters like to let things go until the last possible minute when it comes to approving levy issues.


Oh, I like your town! I'd love to be able to enjoy my deck one day a week.


shea, it's always five o'clock somewhere! What in the world did you open to go with the salmon that was so awful? I want to know so that I never buy it. You were blogging about sex dreams? I wrote stories about mine.

I will never understand obsessive lawn mowing. I used to work with civic ordinances and yard maintenance is among them. The thing is, as long as the yard is tidy and the lawn is not long enough for rodents to hide in, why should anyone else care how frequently it is mowed?


L O L!! I'd never heard that story, steve! Seriously, how short did he think your lawn needed to be? It IS possible to have too short a lawn, people. Grrr.

I know I should care about stuff like baize-like lawns and gleaming paintwork on cars. But I don't.

Maybe I'm just a bad person...

Rolf, Captain and coke. Mind if I borrow someone's lawn to lay down and get lost in the clouds for a bit?

Need a wind-down, huh? You're welcome to my lawn, John. Plenty of growth there to cushion you!

Does that actually mean "no noisy lawnmowers"
or does it mean -
"Nobody is to do any work on their lawns" ?

Sounds idyllic, eh, HP?

 

[Handley_Page]

I know I should care about stuff like baize-like lawns and gleaming paintwork on cars. But I don't.


Sounds idyllic, eh, HP?

TO the disappointment of my next-door neighbour, I have a front garden full of motor-caravan, and a grass strip now populated by slow-growing conifers, so she doesn't get it in the eye every time she gazes from her window.

And the back garden grass grows long and lush until I can get the electric mower out.
I have to say that if it's too long, it's brute to cut.

 

[steve44uk]

TO the disappointment of my next-door neighbour, I have a front garden full of motor-caravan, and a grass strip now populated by slow-growing conifers, so she doesn't get it in the eye every time she gazes from her window.

And the back garden grass grows long and lush until I can get the electric mower out.
I have to say that if it's too long, it's brute to cut.

See, that's why I had boys... I have in-house lawn mowers for the 10 years at least...

 

[Handley_Page]

See, that's why I had boys... I have in-house lawn mowers for the 10 years at least...

I never managed to persuade my lot to even try cutting the lawn.

 

[steve44uk]

I never managed to persuade my lot to even try cutting the lawn.

Money talks. Worth every penny, too...

 

[annanova]

See, that's why I had boys... I have in-house lawn mowers for the 10 years at least...

Riiight, because you can totally control that.

 

[SweetWitch]

I lay a-slumbering, windows open, gentle breeze. All at once there came a clatter, a rumble and a giggle. Sitting upright, my head reeling, the sound outside my window that of several young men on the prowl. I grabbed my trusty gun, sidled down the hall to the dining room door. The house dark and quiet, the screen latched. With nimble fingers, the latch was slid silently open. The door soon followed, the boys on the deck none the wiser. I drew a bead, let out a low whistle. What fun is the hunt if the quarry doesn't move?

And move they did when they saw the muzzle of my gun aimed at their heads. A maniacal chuckle and a squeeze of the trigger. A quick pump and the second shot exploded from the barrel. The third hit boy number three in the shoulder. The fourth got away unscathed, but next time I load the super-soaker with boar piss.

Sleep well, boys. Sleep well, Slyc. Good night, moon.

The home is quiet again.

Update: At some point after being scattered from my home, said boys found a can of gasoline and a book of matches. One of the boys inadvertently set himself on fire. Fear not. He was lucky and survived without serious damage. He's burned on his face--most notably, his nose and left cheek and jaw--his chest, and his left arm. His arm is by far the worst of it, wrapped in bandages and being favored carefully. He looks a touch like Rudolph after a bad round of reindeer games.

Bet they still wished I was chasing them with the super-soaker.

 

[slyc_willie]

Update: At some point after being scattered from my home, said boys found a can of gasoline and a book of matches. One of the boys inadvertently set himself on fire. Fear not. He was lucky and survived without serious damage. He's burned on his face--most notably, his nose and left cheek and jaw--his chest, and his left arm. His arm is by far the worst of it, wrapped in bandages and being favored carefully. He looks a touch like Rudolph after a bad round of reindeer games.

Bet they still wished I was chasing them with the super-soaker.

Too bad some lessons have to be learned the hard (and painful) way.

When I was a teenager, I found a package of plastic lighters at home. So me and some friends headed out to the nearest patch of woods, made a fire, and decided to play with the lighters. Being the brilliant one, I wanted to see what would happen if I dropped one of the lighters in the fire.

Several seconds passed. Nothing happened.

So we gathered closer to the fire. Still nothing happened.

One of my friends started to say something, and the lighter exploded.

Scared the crap out of us, but after getting over the initial shock, we laughed our asses off and decided to play some more.

One of my friends had seen an older brother do a trick with the lighter. He held it in his mouth, managing somehow to depress the little plastic trigger that expels the butane. The idea is to hold your breath, let your mouth fill with butane, then take the lighter out, flick it and blow out the gas, resulting in a dramatic and -- to fourteen-year-old boys -- cool fireball.

Unfortunately, I guess he forgot about the tilting your head back part.

He got a fireball, all right. Right in his face. Burned his lips, his tongue, his face, his eyebrows and eyelashes, even his nose hairs. He was pretty much scarred for life after that. He was lucky he didn't end up blind, although his vision wasn't 20/20 anymore after that.

Ah, the joyful days of youth . . . .

 

[johneb87]

Too bad some lessons have to be learned the hard (and painful) way.

When I was a teenager, I found a package of plastic lighters at home. So me and some friends headed out to the nearest patch of woods, made a fire, and decided to play with the lighters. Being the brilliant one, I wanted to see what would happen if I dropped one of the lighters in the fire.

Several seconds passed. Nothing happened.

So we gathered closer to the fire. Still nothing happened.

One of my friends started to say something, and the lighter exploded.

Scared the crap out of us, but after getting over the initial shock, we laughed our asses off and decided to play some more.

One of my friends had seen an older brother do a trick with the lighter. He held it in his mouth, managing somehow to depress the little plastic trigger that expels the butane. The idea is to hold your breath, let your mouth fill with butane, then take the lighter out, flick it and blow out the gas, resulting in a dramatic and -- to fourteen-year-old boys -- cool fireball.

Unfortunately, I guess he forgot about the tilting your head back part.

He got a fireball, all right. Right in his face. Burned his lips, his tongue, his face, his eyebrows and eyelashes, even his nose hairs. He was pretty much scarred for life after that. He was lucky he didn't end up blind, although his vision wasn't 20/20 anymore after that.

Ah, the joyful days of youth . . . .

"The only difference between science and goofing off, is writing it down." - Adam Savage, Mythbusters

 

[slyc_willie]

"The only difference between science and goofing off, is writing it down." - Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."

I bet you were expecting that.

I still want that on a T-shirt.

 

[johneb87]

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."

I bet you were expecting that.

I still want that on a T-shirt.

Booya! http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=298168&pa=sli_internal

This would be and awesome shirt to have too. http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=379523&pa=sli_internal

I'm so glad that I got to see them live on stage last month. During the show they brought two volunteers onstage, a mother and young daughter. Their job was to interlace pages of two phone books together for the phone book friction test. As Adam handed the younger girl the phone book he said to her "Look, this is what the internet used to look like."

 

[slyc_willie]

Booya! http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=298168&pa=sli_internal

This would be and awesome shirt to have too. http://store.discovery.com/detail.php?p=379523&pa=sli_internal

I'm so glad that I got to see them live on stage last month. During the show they brought two volunteers onstage, a mother and young daughter. Their job was to interlace pages of two phone books together for the phone book friction test. As Adam handed the younger girl the phone book he said to her "Look, this is what the internet used to look like."

I've seen several variations of those sayings on shirts. The one I want is pretty simple, though, and I saw it at CafePress once. Just the phrase in white against the black background of the shirt.

I wasn't aware they went on tour. That would be something to see. My wife would love it.