What lit categories would say at a party.

lovecraft68

Bad Doggie
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Posts
42,066
Thanks to @StillStunned posting this.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/book-party-foil-arms-and-hog.1607978/#post-98649154

Then me going to that you tube channel and spending an hour watching a bunch of videos, I woke up with this stupid idea in my head.

Lit categories, as people interacting at a party.


Anal:

"Excuse me, miss, would you like to sit?"
" Um, no, I think I'll stand for now."

Audio:

"Jesus, who's that obnoxious asshole, he hasn't stopped talking all night!"
"Oh, that's just what he does."

BDSM

"Hey, hon, can you get me a drink?"
"Is that how you ask for a drink? Did I say you could drink, what makes you even worthy of a drink?

Celebrity:

"Hey, do I know you?
"No."
"You sure, you look like someone famous."
"Yeah, I get that all the time."

Chain stories:

"Pssst, what's with those people over there?"
"What about them?"
"They're standing really close and follow each other around everywhere."

Erotic Couplings:

"Stay away from that couple over there."
"Why?"
"They're dull as fuck, nothing special about them."

Erotic Horror:

"This place is kind of dead, don't you think?"
"Not yet it's not, but don't worry, I'm here now."

Exhibitionist/Voyuer

"Jimmy! Give that woman your coat, she's completely naked!"
"I want to, but...I just can't stop looking!"

Fetish:

"Are you playing footsie with me, baby?"
"Um. know, I'm not touching your foot."
From under the table:
"Sorry, that's just me! By the way, do you smoke?"

First time:

"So um, what am I supposed to do here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well...I've never been to a party before."
"But you're 18!"
"Look, its Lit, okay?"

Gay Male:

"Holy shit, man, did you just grab my junk?"
"Yeah, you said you were into NSA!"
"I said I work for Nasa!"
"Oh, right, my bad."

Group Sex:

"Okay, who are the people who keep putting their car keys in the damn punch bowl?"
"That would be us!"
"Okay, no one's done that since the 70's. These days, you just ask, okay?"
"Whoo-hoo! Who's up for naked twisted!"

How To:

"This drink is awful! Let me get back there and show you how to make a proper Manhattan."

Humor/Satire

Oh, great, that grumpy old fuck Lovecraft68 is making fun of everyone...again.

Illustrated:

"What did that guy just hand you, a note?"
"No, I asked where the bathroom was, so he drew me a map."

Incest:

"Look at those two, she's old enough to be his mother!"
"She is his mother."

Interracial:

"Excuse, me miss?"
"Yes?"
"I saw you heading over to talk to that table full of men. I wouldn't recommend it."
"Why? Because they're black? That's racist!"
"Are you blind, I'm also black."
"So why should I talk to you and not them?"
"Because," leans in and whispers. "Those aren't real black men, they're stereotypes."
"Oh my! Thank you for the warning!"



Lesbian Sex-

"Tim. we have a complaint. Table five says you don't listen, can't do anything right and they're not satisfied with the service. Said they may as well be serving themselves."
Tim looks over at the five women sitting at the table and sighs.
"Told you to give that table to Sara, but no...."

Letters and Transcripts:

"What are you doing?"
"Writing a long letter to Bob, about how much I appreciated his help in getting me through an arduous time in my life, and being so kind and telling me jokes and making me smile."
"um, Bob's the bartender and he'll be back from his break in ten minutes."
"He still needs to read this to know how I feel!"


Loving Wives.

"Damn, that woman has been flirting with every guy in the place!"
"It's fine, her husband's cool with it. Probably watch her fuck a couple of them later."
"What the hell is wrong with him? That's wrong!"
"Why's it wrong if he likes it?"
"Cause...its just wrong! I'm going to run over there and call her a whore and him a cuck!"
"Hey, that sounds like fun! I'll go with you!"

Mature

"Look another older woman with her son! What's wrong with this place?"
"No, that's not his mother. She's his best friend's mother."

Mind control:

"Hey, how did I get here, why am I dressed like a slut, who the hell are you?"
"Shit, um, look at me....you're getting sleepy..."


Non English:

"Hey, will you suck my dick after the party?"
"lo siento, no hablo ingles"
"Oh, okay Chupa mi polla!"
"Smack"

Non-erotic

"Who are the jerks who keep yelling at each other?"
"Stay away from them, they're from the politics forum."

Non consent/Reluctance

"This party sucks!"
"Yeah, well..."
"It sucks and I don't want to be here, why did you make me come here?"
"Listen, this is lit and rule is you have to enjoy it, got it?"
"Oh my god, this is the best party ever!!!!"

Non Human

"Excuse me, Miss? You can't bring a dog into the party."
"He's not a dog, he's my date."
"Gross, that's bestiality!"
"No, he's a were-dog, so there's a difference."
"Right! Enjoy the party!"

Novels and Novellas

"Wow, you look tired, what happened?"
"That guy over there, he started telling me about his story, and talked for three hours!"

Reviews and Eassays.

Hello, do you work here?
"Yes, can I get you something?"
"I just need to know everything about you, the business, the other people here, the food, everything about everything."
"Okay, on one condition. You don't ask table five any questions."

Romance

"I love you!"
"You just met me."
"No, I really love you! You're my soul mate, my twin flame, and the hero that rescued me from that villainous man, trying to rob me."
"He works here, and was just taking your coat."
"Oh, and so modest and unassuming! I think I'll reward you after this amazing party by giving myself to you!"
"Look, I don't know..."
"I love happy endings, don't you?"
"Yeah, you know what? I do, let's go!"
"Will you carry me out?"
"Jeez..."

Sci-Fi/Fantasy

"And to the west lies the long silver river of abbacadabra, but the river cannot be seen by the half of roidworld on the other side of the massive circular scorched white plain of thisiswherefoodgoes! But at times part of that great plain can be covered by this soft white cloud, and then we have the flowing clear stream that deposits into this glass chalice...

"Charlie, stop yapping and just set the damn table!"

"Yes, sir." mutters under his breath "And all enslaved to the evil lord Melvin leader of the clave of the kitchen staff!"

Toys and masturbation.

"You okay, honey, you look a little flush."
"I'm fine."
"Bored?"
"No, why?"
"You keep squirming."
"I'm...fine."
"Hey, I think someone's calling, I can hear your phone vibrating."
"That's not my phone, now stop talking."

Transgender/Cross dressing.

"I can't believe that woman has on the same dress as me, how awful."
"You think that's bad? Try having your husband show up in the same dress as you."
 
Last edited:
Sorry for sending you down the rabbit hole! But I'm glad it had a productive outcome. :)
If you all this productive....

Seriously though, its a great channel subscribed to it last night, so I have yet another way to waste time.
 
Well, you pretty much covered everything there. Think you missed a trick with Sci-Fi:

"Hey baby, is this guy boring you. Why don't you come and talk to me. I'm from a different planet."
Any bad sci fi line brings me back to the guy on Frasier who was a trekkie and he'd see Roz and say "Set phasers on stunning,"

Anyhow, this was most likely less painful to people then when I told a story on the forum using puns involving candy bars.
 
This is going to make the get off my ass and post the “Muppets and their favorite lit categories” shitpost that keeps kicking around in my head.
 
Romance is sitting at the grand piano noodling on the keys. She looks up at E&V, who is dancing on top of the piano.

"Anal has been hitting on me all night." Romance says.

"He's been hitting on everybody." E&V says.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not interested."

"I might be. Send him up here next time," E&V says with a wink.

SFF appears out of nowhere in a flash of light. They're wearing an expensive designer skin that has three eyes, a hairy chest with six teats and 12 inch long fingers as fat as kielbasas. "He should be careful what he wishes for", they say to the two at the piano before heading off to mingle.

NC/R grins and stands up from where he has been egging on the I/T twins. "I'll be your wingman," he tells SFF.
 
Erotic horror stumbles over to the bar, grabbing Non Human's drink and chugging it.
"What's the matter with you?" NH asks.
"I just drained Anal's blood, and it tastes like shit."

"Least you have your own category," a gorgeous redhead with botox lips wearing knee pads laments.
"Who are you?"
"I'm oral sex! I'm in every damn category! But I'm not worth my own, why?"
"Because you suck?"
"Piss off humor and satire, I don't need your jokes"
"Speaking of piss," Fetish sidles into the conversation. "Its not all that bad, really, nice and warm."

Okay, now the voices are arguing in my head.
 
Back
Top