What does this character description say to you?

[joy_of_cooking]

I have a female character whom I describe like this:

Across the park, one of the moms waved at me. No, a mom, but not one of them. I'd never spoken to her. The moms didn't even nod to her.

I didn't know their reasons. Mine was simple, and it wasn't the language barrier. She was shockingly pretty, the sort of leggy bombshell blonde for whom resting bitch face was an act of self-defense.

Up close, I could see that she wore heavy makeup. Was this why the moms shunned her? It certainly sent a message to show up at the neighborhood park every morning with a full face and a sneer.

Curious how this strikes people. In particular,

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?
2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?
3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

 

[OlderFitterWiser]

1 Can't be certain of the meaning of 'full face," I take it to mean a full face of make up.

2 It doesn't appear to mention that he doesn't talk to her. Perhaps he's embarrassed to talk to her and thus defy the other mom's.

3 The other mom's are not the same as this lady, so they ignore her and possibly shun her and anyone else who appears to be a companion of hers.

 

[Djmac1031]

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?

At a guess, fully made up, hair done etc.

2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?

He's intimidated? She is described as attractive but with a non inviting look about her.

3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

Perhaps jealousy. The mystery woman appears well put together at the park; meanwhile most of them are probably in sweat pants and tees, no makeup, no time to primp just to take the kids to the park.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I understand it the same as @Djmac1031 with the addition that maybe other moms also consider her a woman of "dubious morality" and shun her for that reason.

 

[lovecraft68]

Full face is make up.
I'm thinking the male MC has not spoken to her yet, and this is his intro to the reader for her.
The other moms are catty because she's described as attractive, and making more of an effort to be.
The resting bitch face being a defense is what throws me, if she doesn't want attention, why is she putting herself out in a way that makes it seem like she does?

All in all, I don't see anything wrong or off putting about it.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

Here is a woman who exudes vanity, with a desire to be admired by all others, and seeks to be held in esteem by her peers.

Not only is her "full face" a requirement before she would ever think of being seen in public, her hair is also styled to perfection, her perfume is applied just right, and all it would take is a quick change of her attire for her to transition from "park mom" mode to a formal social situation. She is likely a trophy wife, which the other moms recognize and this is why they treat her with apparent disdain.

I have a female character whom I describe like this:





Curious how this strikes people. In particular,

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?
2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?
3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

 

[Voboy]

What @Djmac1031 said.

I get a strong vibe of disapproval from the other women, and a sense that the woman in question does not give a shit about that. If that's what you're going for, it's deftly done.

 

[intim8]

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?
2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?
3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

1. No, but I have to assume it means fully made-up
2. Don't have any idea, but I know there is something there to learn, so I would be tempted to read on.
3. Same as #2.

Note: I stumbled badly on: "No, a mom, but not one of them."

I would suggest something more pointed and clear, like "But not a mom. She was with them, but not of them."

 

[Dearelliot]

1. No I don't know what full face means, I could/would guess at it if I read the story.
2. I agree with the above, for me, the makeup gives the impression she is a bit promiscuous, sexy, she wants to attract attention, a little intimidating.
3. Agree with others above...

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I'd understand full face fine, but agree with @intim8 that the separation needa.to be clearer in the first paragraph. Maybe 'But not just 'one of the moms'. She was physically with them, but not of them.'

To me, a sneer is always intentional, and dismissive, whereas resting bitch face isn't intentional and can be neutral, so you might want to clarify exactly what she's doing there.

But basically she's with it enough to do full makeup and look groomed when all the other mums are doing well to be out of pyjamas and getting their kids to school on time, and the other mums ostracise her, consciously or not, is that your idea?

 

[XerXesXu]

We sum up other people, on sight, in about one second. One look at the person you describe would put her in the category of 'oddball, unapproachable, wants to be alone'.

1. Stylised makeup.
2 and 3 - see above.

 

[EmilyMiller]

What does this character description say to you?​

Maybe not exactly what you want, but same ballpark…

Walking In Beauty

Emily

 

[ronde]

I have a female character whom I describe like this:





Curious how this strikes people. In particular,

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?
2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?
3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

1. I'm assuming that "a full face" means her makeup, but I've never heard it described that way.
2. I would imagine the narrator doesn't want to talk to her because he doesn't know her. What reason would he have to talk to her unless he wants to schmooze her into bed? Most men would understand how she might react and just not try to open the conversation.
3. I'm generalizing here, but many married women consider a beautiful woman to be competition. The sneer would tell them that she is showing them all how much more beautiful she is. That could leave them with either a feeling of insecurity or a feeling of anger, neither of which is a good way to start a conversation.

 

[XerXesXu]

If she could sing, maybe:

 

[AG31]

I have a female character whom I describe like this:





Curious how this strikes people. In particular,

1. Do you understand what "a full face" means here?
2. Why do you think the narrator (a man) doesn't talk to her? And does that make sense?
3. Why do you think the other moms don't talk to her? And does that make sense?

1 - No
2 - Does the reader of your story know it's a man? I thought the narrator was female.
3 - She doesn't want to talk to them?

 

[lustychimera]

1) Full face to me is someone with a face that appears large on their frame, typically with more rounded cheeks and a larger jaw line. The complete opposite of how someone with a heart shaped face would appear.

2) It'd be weirder if he walked up to her, a stranger, and just started talking.

3) There's not enough info, but you've made it clear where she stands in the pecking order.

No, a mom, but not one of them.

This line really threw me. I get what you mean, but the "No" makes it read weird to me. It's clear you mean it as his direct thoughts as he contradicts himself, but I had to read it twice to make sense of it. Made for an unnatural transition.