The Haters

[Kantarii]

I'm not talking about the ones that leave comments on your stories. I'm talking about the ones bold enough to send you a random PM to express themselves to you about a story you posted or a comment you posted. I always understood that everyone has an opinion and that the world is a better place because we all don't think alike.

Input you'd like to share?Kant

 

[sr71plt]

Hmmm, I've gotten a few hate e-mails but the only PMs I've received on stories have been complimentary.

 

[lovecraft68]

PM's aren't as common because the person has to have their name pinned to them. I've gotten a couple, but both from people with no or a very few posts meaning...alt

Private anon feedback? Lost count a long time ago as far as hate mail goes and it goes well past the stories.

 

[ColetteJulie]

I suppose I'm lucky then, the feedback I get is positive, people say more in private feedback than they are willing to on the comments section of the story. I don't understand, why can't they say these nice things in the comments? Would the feel like they were betraying a more experienced author whom they adore?

 

[someoneyouknow]

You get PMs? They have those on here? Who knew?

 

[lovecraft68]

You get PMs? They have those on here? Who knew?

When you're a guy PM's are pretty rare.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I don't think I've ever had a hostile PM/feedback message in response to one of my stories. One or two as comments directly on the story, that's about it.

 

[Kantarii]

When you're a guy PM's are pretty rare.

I've gotta agree with you on that note,LC. But, I bet you can imagine what the PM's are like for a guy that dresses like a woman and posts those pics on the site? My PM's are anything but rare.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've gotta agree with you on that note,LC. But, I bet you can imagine what the PM's are like for a guy that dresses like a woman and posts those pics on the site? My PM's are anything but rare.

So if I dress up purty, the real men here will talk to me? Cool!

 

[Kantarii]

So if I dress up purty, the real men here will talk to me? Cool!

Hey, don't give away all my trade secrets

 

[NOIRTRASH]

It doesn't matter, the whole issue is bull shit because people hate you however you are. I mean, Jesus was perfect and it didn't help. We celebrate the Trumps and the Clintons. ON THE MAKE, AND ON THE TAKE.

I dislike everyone and make no bones about it. Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings admired the rattlesnake who alerts those who come near, she called him a gentleman. Few people are that considerate.

But its one thing to damn a story because it sux, and altogether different to damn a story because YOU suck. LOVECRAFT blows like a gale, but his stories are pretty OK. Ditto GLYNDDAH, TITO, TEX, and many. If they wanted my counsel I'd give it without animus. If they can live without it, that's okay too.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I suppose I'm lucky then, the feedback I get is positive, people say more in private feedback than they are willing to on the comments section of the story. I don't understand, why can't they say these nice things in the comments? Would the feel like they were betraying a more experienced author whom they adore?

Because your enemies will hurt them, is why.

 

[The_Technician]

Anonymous has to go

I have a couple of trolls who go through my stories and leave ridiculous comments. If they go over the line-- which they do occasionally--- and actually violate guidelines, I delete the comments. Then I get PM's accusing me of not allowing negative comments, etc. etc. etc.

I think it is time to remove the anonymous post capability on all of the Literotica site. I mean, it's not like you have to use a driver's license or national ID card to open an account. I assume that many of the names listed in the profiles are not the person's true name.

Ruling out anonymous would make it clear to new authors that it is, in fact, just one or two trolls who are beating them up so badly.

 

[MSTarot]

I'll give you my two cents worth, Kantarii.

The good comments when they come in are awesome. They give you an instant shot in the arm, making you feel like the wonderful writer you are. But ... that is all they do. They are the whip cream with the cherry on top for the writer but we're in this to have the whole pie.

Now I don't know what your end goal is, as a writer. What level you want to take it to. But no matter what levels you want to work at the comments will not change. They will be called reviews but they will be the same. And those bad ones will get even more visceral.

Or worse you will get none at all.

So now, here on Lit is the place to begin to build your armor. These bad comments are the hammer blows that forge the author that you can be. Do you believe that an editor from a mainstream publishing house will be kind? Now they skim read a hundred books like yours in a week. And reject them.

Think of this, you've spent a year of your life building a novel. You've poured hours of your life into it. It's filled with hidden parts of yourself, hell you might have written pure heart blood into it.

And it gets rejected.

Do you quit? Ninety-nine percent of all amateur writers do that, and they will kill their own dream of being a writer. That twisted knife into the heart will spill out all their carefully gathered in self-confidence. And sadly they will quit.

Think about that. They had a voice they wanted to be heard and it never will be ... because they could not handle rejection.

Fuck that!

Wallpaper your office with rejection letters. Pin them up till they look like dragon scales. When your grinding finally gets you published all those fools that rejected you will be there on display.

And the bad comments here on Literotica are what will give you the endurance to stay till the end. Honestly, they are helping you with every negative thing they say. They are showing you your faults, toughening your skin, and ...if you're like me ... empowering you. The more people that tell me to stop the harder I will push. Why? Five plus years of bad comments on Lit.

Take those comments and make them your armor.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think it is time to remove the anonymous post capability on all of the Literotica site. I mean, it's not like you have to use a driver's license or national ID card to open an account. I assume that many of the names listed in the profiles are not the person's true name.

Ruling out anonymous would make it clear to new authors that it is, in fact, just one or two trolls who are beating them up so badly.

The vast majority of anon comments are positive. Requiring people to create an account to comment would stop a lot of those positive comments, because many people don't want their porn habits linkable to their email address. Some of our readers live in countries where porn is illegal, and a big database of people's porn tastes would be a tempting target for a hacker.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

No one ever suggests: Learn if the critics are right.

Mencken suggested that all get opinions, and occasionally the critics get it right.

 

[rjordan]

So if I dress up purty, the real men here will talk to me? Cool!

If your avatars are any indication of your sense of "purty", I suggest you let your wife dress you.

rj

 

[rjordan]

Wallpaper your office with rejection letters. Pin them up till they look like dragon scales. When your grinding finally gets you published all those fools that rejected you will be there on display.

When I finally started making good money in the auto/motorcycle field, I had a professional paper my downstairs bathroom with 10 years of rejection slips. I sold the house that way years later. Too bad for the new buyers that I never became famous.

I usually had 12-20 stories out at any one time. My rule was to keep sending them until I had no idea how many were out there. At some point the ratio of rejections to cashable checks was in my favor.

A few times, the editorial stars aligned and my mailbox would be filled with nothing but rejected manuscripts. Good news! To me, that meant I'd have several days ahead where I wouldn't be getting any!

Hard work and perseverance doesn't always pan out, but I never found an easier alternative. At some point, the definition of stupidity is at work. It's a fine line.

rj

 

[lovecraft68]

If your avatars are any indication of your sense of "purty", I suggest you let your wife dress you.

rj

My wife dresses me on weekends. I get to wear all my old jeans and death metal t-shirts during the week. Weekend I have to wear decent jeans and shirts, sometimes they have collars!

I also have to shave.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Honestly, treasure those bits of forthright feedback, whether positive or negative. Learn to ignore the vitrol and baseless hate, but negative feedback from an identified source is, to me, something very valuable.

If you've got a bit of talent, a decent family, or a squad of friends worth any semblance of a damn, you've already been bathed in praise and compliments. That comes along with any meager bit of success or ability. If you can't sell out your own living room, best to pack it in.

I get at least a handful of people a week that blow smoke up my ass for some reason or another. "You should be famous!" "This is the best thing I've ever read!"

Now, that feels great, don't get me wrong, and it makes some of the work I put into writing feel worthwhile, but it is ultimately misleading and--I think--a little toxic.

Listen to the people who take issue with your work if that issue is presented in a literate way, with support, earnestly and passionately. Those people are, 90% of the time, at least partially correct.

Very, very few of us are misunderstood geniuses that should be making the big bucks but are just underappreciated in our own time. Yet, that line of thinking insulates a lot of people against their own improvement.

 

[sr71plt]

Honestly, treasure those bits of forthright feedback, whether positive or negative. Learn to ignore the vitrol and baseless hate, but negative feedback from an identified source is, to me, something very valuable.

Well if your purpose for submitting stories to Literotica is for writing development (which, I think, is rather a weird place to go for writing guidance--comments from strangers of unknown writing ability mostly here for sexual release). I think that most (a predominate "most") of those who submit stories here are here for fun and sexual connection--even if only on a writing release basis--and want to tell those giving negative critique to take their negative criticism and stick it where the sun don't shine.

 

[lovecraft68]

And then you feel like the famous shaved bear? Sorry I couldn't resist. I am expecting nothing less than a superb comeback. I am sure you are aware that bad (d.o.m.s.) dogs dressed up nicely are a fetish.

Said bear: http://i.imgur.com/EqDGT.jpg

I've been told that bad boys who can clean up well are a fetish.

My wife loves seeing me-on very rare occasions-in a suit and behaving 'properly' and knowing what's under the suit is a lot of tattoos and old scars and the behaving politely is an act to cover my fuck you attitude and that is going to drop the second we get back home.

She has a framed quote that defines the two of us.

Every girl wants a bad boy who will be good just for her and every boy wants a good girl who will be bad just for him.

That bear is pretty evil looking maybe it will be my next AV

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Well if your purpose for submitting stories to Literotica is for writing development (which, I think, is rather a weird place to go for writing guidance--comments from strangers of unknown writing ability mostly here for sexual release). I think that most (a predominate "most") of those who submit stories here are here for fun and sexual connection--even if only on a writing release basis--and want to tell those giving negative critique to take their negative criticism and stick it where the sun don't shine.

Yeah, I know your stance on Lit feedback. It's valid. I have a different one. I think anytime you put writing out there it is a performance, like music or painting or anything else, and each performance is an opportunity to learn something, whether the person giving the feedback is vetted or qualified. Few people who buy books, read poems, watch tv, or imbued entertainment in any way are--in a traditional sense--qualified. Doesn't mean their opinions aren't valid and can't be of use.

As someone who has been professionally reviewed and who has been heckled while playing slide guitar in the subway for change--I find both forms of critique to be of use, if in very different ways.

As a disclaimer, I must say that I think there are opinions that simply aren't worth listening to (the political season really drives this point home). It's just that, in most interactions, the potential for learning something is there.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

And then you feel like the famous shaved bear? Sorry I couldn't resist. I am expecting nothing less than a superb comeback. I am sure you are aware that bad (d.o.m.s.) dogs dressed up nicely are a fetish.

Said bear: http://i.imgur.com/EqDGT.jpg

Looks like a kangaroo from hell.

 

[sr71plt]

Yeah, I know your stance on Lit feedback. It's valid. I have a different one. I think anytime you put writing out there it is a performance, like music or painting or anything else, and each performance is an opportunity to learn something, whether the person giving the feedback is vetted or qualified. Few people who buy books, read poems, watch tv, or imbued entertainment in any way are--in a traditional sense--qualified. Doesn't mean their opinions aren't valid and can't be of use.

As someone who has been professionally reviewed and who has been heckled while playing slide guitar in the subway for change--I find both forms of critique to be of use, if in very different ways.

As a disclaimer, I must say that I think there are opinions that simply aren't worth listening to (the political season really drives this point home). It's just that, in most interactions, the potential for learning something is there.

Whether it is an opportunity to learn and whether the author of the story sees it as an opportunity to learn are two different things. And on this Web site, I think it's a misunderstanding (unless the author has posted a request for critique on the Feedback forum)--and rather arrogant--to assume that people are posting stories for an opportunity to learn from you to write better. That certainly has nothing to do with why I post stories here. And once having taken that false assumption they are easily led into giving critiques that aren't welcome--and there's no reason why they should be unless they were directly requested.