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Comment Asshattery

I've written so many smoking fetish stories...every time I see the title of this thread pop up I think its "Comment Ashtrays"...and get very confused.
 
I use the following with my stories as a warning to readers:

Writers Note.
This story is a Romance Novella. In its entirety, there is nothing to follow. It is long and has about 37,000 words. The story is in UK/Australasian English and uses Australian phrases and colloquialisms. Sex is sparse. The story contains swearing.
The story is told through the eyes of the two relationship partners. There are a lot of characters in the story. A lot merely form the background. Don't get lost in the background. While Grammarly is used but is not 100% accurate the writer takes responsibility for all grammatical, and spelling errors, etc.
If any of the above-mentioned concerns you, this may not be the story for you Mate.

This was what one commentator said about the story:

Interesting story, but very complicated. There were a lot of scene changes that seemed to me to be abrupt, and I didn't understand what was happening. In other words, I got lost several times and even more often simply wasn't aware of where i was. There were a lot of commas missing that I had to mentally fill in myself to try to follow the story line.
More attention to and explanation of scene and speaker transitions would help greatly. Don't be afraid to use, "Marcus said," or replied with, or opened with, etc. Readers need the information and will gloss over that essential repetition. Thanks for the story.

The comment does not worry me at all, the next three comments moved what was said into a kind of uncomfortable ass-hattery state anyway.
For a while I thought about deleting the comment to protect the commentator as they left their callsign. I admit to struggling with it but decided to just let nature take its course.
 
My very first submission published on Literotica attracted this rather cryptic comment and I quote verbatim:

"m,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mmm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"

Naturally the commentator went under the nom de plume of 'anonymous', so I had no opportunity to ferret out his/her, more likely his*, meaning or intention.
(*I can't imagine that it was a female reader, but of course admittedly I may be wrong.)
 
I have gotten my share of weird, confusing, or just plain wrong comments but I prefer to just delete the ones I don’t like than repost them here.
 
I know I am going to deeply regret saying this, but I haven’t had any asshole comments in an awful long time. Maybe they just got bored 🤷‍♀️
 
On my First Time story where the young couple, lifelong best friends, spend an idyllic summer together then never see each other again. They knew it would be the case going in and a lot of the setup was them acknowledging that and dealing with starting something they knew would end soon. They both know it would be too painful to be in love, so at the end, they say "I don't love you" with tears in their eyes.,

Anon (of course): "This is such an unhealthy view of relationships. The idea that people's lives can just be "too busy" to hold a long distance relationship is ridiculous. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, if it's real love, then no distance will break that bond. During the great wars, military couples' loves survived on nothing more than the occasional letter from their loved one. Why would love not survive in an age where global communication is easier than ever? Why would two people who supposedly have feelings for one another give up before they'd even begun? The answer, obviously, is because it's not love, just like our characters assure themselves in the last few passages. So, if it's not love, this story doesn't really have any romantic or pure spirit at all, it's just two people having sex under the facade of a completely constructed tragedy with no emotional bearing. It was well written and I think you would do well using your emotional writing on something with actual emotional weight, but there is no emotional weight in this situation, it's all constructed."

The story has 30+ comments saying how beautiful it was and how it made people cry.

And "the great war"? Is this guy old enough to remember World War One?
 
karina_jayde said:
Lol, I've seen that commenter pop up on a few other stories (none of my own). Seems to just go berserk in the comments if a character's pubes arent described to his liking.
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He leaves appreciative comments too. Seemingly even the barest mention of bush stokes him.
 
intim8 said:
Point him at my stories. I tend to be old school about that. Even have one character wax rhapsodic about it.
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Well, he's anonymous, so...

However: You can point him at your own stories by using the right tags. I expect he's a reader who searches with them.
 
LilyWaters said:
I didn't clearly specify whether the two women in my story had bushes or not, he assumed they didn't, and he did NOT like it:

"Rated it a 4, but a description of abundant pussy hair (like there should have been- always be) would have gotten you a firm 5! dont leave out the pussy hair, it causes your readers to think it is shaved stubbled up nonsense that is not just irritating to the skin of your lover, but repulsive to look at (the appearance of a plucked chicken's "ass" with feather quills - stubble, once again "sickening"!!!!) with the "nasty" pimples growing in it. Get serious with your writing and loose the disgusting razor burn (hairless) suggestion in your show don't tell shit!"

Yeah, come on Lily, the smut that I am consuming for free does not fit my very specific predilection, GET SERIOUS WITH YOUR WRITING 🤣
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I am pretty sure that person just commented on my new story.

"Easily to rate this a four because of the cum kissing, especially when the son tasted his own. However, without the mom having a massively HAIRY pussy like 90% OF MOMS DO, thus I could not rate this one a five like I wanted. SO, hey there author, you have 20+ prior stories and you SERIOUSLY ought to know better than to do a hairless pussy on a mom in her 40's. That dammed silly shaved mom shit seriously does not happen. What woman in 100 at age 40 shaves her pussy!!!!!!!!!!! There are reasons why readers look at mom stories, and I assure you it is not for cunts with stubble on them and very often nasty pimples in the regrowing stubble that bleed if re-shaved. This story could have been a five had the wife and son buried her faces in the moms "hairy pussy!" Not trimmed either!!!!"

what an insane thing to comment! Plenty of women in their 40s shave their pussy, besides why does he care.
 
StillStunned said:
It is not for us to ask why Anonybush cares. It is for us only to know that He does.
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"And thus Anonybush became legend among Literotica writers. His comments were relentless. We thought he must have become too old, yet still he went on. Maybe he passed the mantle to his son, or grandson. We never knew, never knew who he was; those answers are lost in the mists of time.

"Whole sub-genres grew, some to feed his unending need to imagine hair caught in his teeth, others grew to tweak him and tease him with shaving, with waxing, with razor stubble. It worked. His pleas became more and more adamant every day. Until the infamous incident of 2038 that brought it all to a screeching halt."

"Grandpa, what's Literotica?"

<sigh> "You kids these days, with your VR and AI and natal vats. I've read things you will never read. In my day we used to have to... " He looked off into the distance, at nothing, at his life. "Some say that Literotica is still out there somewhere, that Lauren is still publishing stories of mothers and sons, old and young, big cocks and big tits, young ladies naked in the rain. Some say the DNS entries were smuggled out in the Loving Wives wars."

"What's a hairy pussy?"

The old man wept.
 
intim8 said:
"And thus Anonybush became legend among Literotica writers. His comments were relentless. We thought he must have become too old, yet still he went on. Maybe he passed the mantle to his son, or grandson. We never knew, never knew who he was; those answers are lost in the mists of time.

"Whole sub-genres grew, some to feed his unending need to imagine hair caught in his teeth, others grew to tweak him and tease him with shaving, with waxing, with razor stubble. It worked. His pleas became more and more adamant every day. Until the infamous incident of 2038 that brought it all to a screeching halt."

"Grandpa, what's Literotica?"

<sigh> "You kids these days, with your VR and AI and natal vats. I've read things you will never read. In my day we used to have to... " He looked off into the distance, at nothing, at his life. "Some say that Literotica is still out there somewhere, that Lauren is still publishing stories of mothers and sons, old and young, big cocks and big tits, young ladies naked in the rain. Some say the DNS entries were smuggled out in the Loving Wives wars."

"What's a hairy pussy?"

The old man wept.
Click to expand...
Ah. See. I knew it. You guys were making all this shit up. Anonybush, pffftt!
 
intim8 said:
Some say the DNS entries were smuggled out in the Loving Wives wars..
Click to expand...

giphy.webp
 
StillStunned said:
I think I've stumbled across Anonybush Light:
Click to expand...

I just met him, too! I got, like, a dozen comments, tops, and this is one of them:

Descriptive story that includes age-appropriate pussy hair and the use of feet during sex. I easily rated this one a 4 because of descriptions of pussy hair, even though one was RED (usually a burnt brownish orange and not bright red) and because of the use of FEET / TOES during sex. The author should consider adding feet to the fetish list on the bio page.
Click to expand...

:ROFLMAO: It's 15,000 words and bro's rating it wholly off some pussy hair.

And I think I had one sentence at the end where a crackhead's off doing crackhead things and tries to put someone's toe in her vagina. Nevermind. I forgot somebody humps a heel.

I am happy for the feedback, tho. That was nice.
 
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The hairy pussy lover sounds a lot like that one anonymous, who goes around commenting that the story lacked detailed discussion about what porn the characters like to watch and what they get off to. Regardless of what the story is about. Kinda makes me wonder why they don’t write their own stories, since they’re so specific in their tastes.

I might have had one from that porn discussion commentator, if I could just remember which story…

I think this is the one I was remembering, and now I see I really didn’t manage to hit many of this poor sod’s buttons 😄

by Anonymous user on 12/16/2022

Good premise.
But needs much more in the way of foreplay/preliminaries.
Needs extended involvement of/with her boobs.
Needs much more in the way of details of her playing with his cock and balls before cock enters pussy.
Needs much more in the way of details of her pussy getting eaten.
Needs mutual mastutbation, each watching the other.
Needs dialog about what kind of porn each watches, and what each fantasizes about while masturbating.
Four stars.
Click to expand...
 
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Omenainen said:
Kinda makes me wonder why they don’t write their own stories, since they’re so specific in their tastes.
Click to expand...
Like the commenters who criticise stories for being short, but they've never actually posted anything of their own.
 
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