The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[doormouse]

and you get a live wire, popping and crackling with sparks flying, the wire jumping around as though it had a mind of it's own, which it does

I put in a gray tweed three piece suit, with one knee torn out, as is the crotch seam.

and you get a note saying, "This isn't the dry cleaners, bucko!"

I put in a gold ring.

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a note saying, "This isn't the dry cleaners, bucko!"

I put in a gold ring.

and there's a queue down the corridor of ladies who claim it's theirs


I put in an elastic bandage

 

[jacks4u]

I put in an elastic bandage

and get a sprained knee.

I find a roll of electrical tape with about two turns left on it, and miraculously, it fits in the slot. I drop it in...

 

[andy_charles]

and get a sprained knee.

I find a roll of electrical tape with about two turns left on it, and miraculously, it fits in the slot. I drop it in...

And get some glue in return.

I drop in the map to Disney World...

 

[jacks4u]

I drop in the map to Disney World...

and get a note with the words "Are we there yet" repeated 100 times

I put in half consumed bottle of "After Shock" Cinnamon liqueur, and 4 ice cubes

 

[andy_charles]

and get a note with the words "Are we there yet" repeated 100 times

I put in half consumed bottle of "After Shock" Cinnamon liqueur, and 4 ice cubes

And get a tiny paper umbrella

I put in a pair of spectacles...

 

[andy_charles]

and get a note with the words "Are we there yet" repeated 100 times

I put in half consumed bottle of "After Shock" Cinnamon liqueur, and 4 ice cubes

And get a tiny paper umbrella

I put in a pair of spectacles...

 

[jacks4u]

I put in a pair of spectacles...

and get two quarters and a partial phone number

I put in a broken cell phone charger

 

[Handley_Page]

and get two quarters and a partial phone number

I put in a broken cell phone charger

and you get the broken phone

I put in a mains adaptor

 

[Noor]

and you get the broken phone

I put in a mains adaptor

and you get a pizza omelet

I put in an oven mitt

 

[TE999]

and you get a pizza omelet

I put in an oven mitt

And you get back a tin of muffins.

I put in a tangle of USB cords...

 

[Austin8]

And you get back a tin of muffins.

I put in a tangle of USB cords...

and you git a bowl 'o' serial...

I put in a grinding jig

 

[TE999]

and you git a bowl 'o' serial...

I put in a grinding jig

And you get back a flamenco dance.

I put in a set of metric hex wrenches...

 

[indecisiviously]

I put in a set of metric hex wrenches...

And you receive a footlong hot dog in a 24 centimeter bun.

I put in an empty bottle of catsup...

 

[Austin8]

And you receive a footlong hot dog in a 24 centimeter bun.

I put in an empty bottle of catsup...

and you git a cat askin' whasup?

I put in a Xenoy mower wheel

 

[indecisiviously]

and you git a cat askin' whasup?

I put in a Xenoy mower wheel

And you get a shredded leisure suit.

I put in a pair of platform disco boots, sans goldfish...

 

[The_Darkness]

And you get a shredded leisure suit.

I put in a pair of platform disco boots, sans goldfish...

And you get back a KISS costume that's two sizes too small.

I put in a brand new gas-powered weed whacker.

 

[jacks4u]

I put in a brand new gas-powered weed whacker.

and you get back a bowl or shredded alfalfa sprouts


I put in a pile of mixed alfalfa stems and goat manuer

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get back a bowl or shredded alfalfa sprouts


I put in a pile of mixed alfalfa stems and goat manuer

and you get a happy goat.


I put in an 8-day clock

 

[The_Darkness]

and you get a happy goat.


I put in an 8-day clock

And you get a magic 8-ball.

I put in the boxed sets of Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Supernatural.

 

[Noor]

And you get a magic 8-ball.

I put in the boxed sets of Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Supernatural.

and you get a boxed set of Firefly series DVDs

I put in a thermos

Noor-aka the light

 

[doormouse]

and you get a boxed set of Firefly series DVDs

I put in a thermos

Noor-aka the light

and you get back a year supply of tea bags

I put in a candle

 

[The_Darkness]

and you get back a year supply of tea bags

I put in a candle

And you get a box of wet matches.

I put in a random pair of panties.

 

[andy_charles]

and you get back a year supply of tea bags

I put in a candle

And you get a dinner table set for two

I put in a poker chip...

 

[Noor]

And you get a dinner table set for two

I put in a poker chip...

and you get a panty wearing card table

I put it a Winnie the Pooh watch