The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and out comes Inuit soapstone sculptures inspired by James Houston.

I put in a nude by Maillol...

and it reminds me of what I'm lately missing.

I put in a work on Philosophy.

 

[Noor]

and it reminds me of what I'm lately missing.

I put in a work on Philosophy.

and you get "The rise and fall of practically everyone"

I put in a roast chicken with cranberry sauce

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get "The rise and fall of practically everyone"

I put in a roast chicken with cranberry sauce

which is very quickly eaten.


I put in a real Peach Melba

 

[Cruel2BKind]

You get a slip of paper that reads "what the fuck is peach melba?"

I put in my little sister's diary

 

[Tio_Narratore]

You get a slip of paper that reads "what the fuck is peach melba?"

I put in my little sister's diary

and you discover that sis isn't so little any more.

I put in Melba herself...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you discover that sis isn't so little any more.

I put in Melba herself...

and the Peach is a bit dried-up, too.

I put in some fresh cream.

/off topic
Originally Posted by Cruel2BKind:
You get a slip of paper that reads "what the fuck is peach melba?"

It is a desert dish:
It combines two favourite summer fruits: peaches and raspberry sauce accompanying vanilla ice cream.
Invented by Escoffier himself in honour of Dame Nellie Melba, Opera singer of the late 19th century.!.
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peach_Melba

/topic ON

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the Peach is a bit dried-up, too.

I put in some fresh cream.

/off topic
Originally Posted by Cruel2BKind:
You get a slip of paper that reads "what the fuck is peach melba?"

It is a desert dish:
It combines two favourite summer fruits: peaches and raspberry sauce accompanying vanilla ice cream.
Invented by Escoffier himself in honour of Dame Nellie Melba, Opera singer of the late 19th century.!.
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peach_Melba

/topic ON

and it rejuvenates a woman's skin.

I put in a gentle massage...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it rejuvenates a woman's skin.

I put in a gentle massage...

administered by a gentle maiden of shapely mien.

I put in a comfortable couch.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

administered by a gentle maiden of shapely mien.

I put in a comfortable couch.

and, I lay back on it, relaxing with my pineapple martini, and remembering the good ole days when you could buy a nickle candy bar in this vending machine and get one that was bigger than your.....swollen cock.

I put in a penny for your thoughts.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I lay back on it, relaxing with my pineapple martini, and remembering the good ole days when you could buy a nickle candy bar in this vending machine and get one that was bigger than your.....swollen cock.

I put in a penny for your thoughts.

and you get back the VM's two cents.

Je depose une pensee for tes penses...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get back the VM's two cents.

Je depose une pensee for tes penses...

/off topic
TRANSLATE PLEASE. I don't speak french
/topic on

 

[Tio_Narratore]

/off topic
TRANSLATE PLEASE. I don't speak french
/topic on

I put in a pansy for your thoughts...


(the origin of the English "penny for your thoughts;" pensee is "pansy" and "thought." Pensee became penny in English. Sorry, HP; I hope dragon didn't get annoyed at it ).

 

[RhymeFairy]

I put in a pansy for your thoughts...


(the origin of the English "penny for your thoughts;" pensee is "pansy" and "thought." Pensee became penny in English. Sorry, HP; I hope dragon didn't get annoyed at it ).

and got a bag of skittles ..


I put in my 2nd fav. vibe

 

[Austin8]

and got a bag of skittles ..


I put in my 2nd fav. vibe

and the aliens are all shook up!

I put in a snot flavored jelly belly, jelly bean

 

[Handley_Page]

and the aliens are all shook up!

I put in a snot flavored jelly belly, jelly bean

one of "Bertie Botts all flavoured pastilles". Goes well at Hogwarts.


I put in an 8ft telescopic fishing rod.

[great to see you, Austin]

 

[Tio_Narratore]

one of "Bertie Botts all flavoured pastilles". Goes well at Hogwarts.


I put in an 8ft telescopic fishing rod.

[great to see you, Austin]

and you catch a Hubble telescopic fish, setting a new world's record.

I put in an old Swedish Pimple spoon lure...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you catch a Hubble telescopic fish, setting a new world's record.

I put in an old Swedish Pimple spoon lure...

but it does not attract the attention of the fish in the local canal.


I put in a packet of "The Ultimate Fish Bait"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but it does not attract the attention of the fish in the local canal.


I put in a packet of "The Ultimate Fish Bait"

and a school of herring float to the surface, laughing themselves to death.

I put in the "Most Chivalrous Fish in the Ocean..."

 

[Handley_Page]

and a school of herring float to the surface, laughing themselves to death.

I put in the "Most Chivalrous Fish in the Ocean..."

which jumps out, gets weighed and photographed with the angler and then returns to the deep. [I wish!].


I put in a new 13 foot carbon fishing rod.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

which jumps out, gets weighed and photographed with the angler and then returns to the deep. [I wish!].


I put in a new 13 foot carbon fishing rod.

and the VM asks, "Why would you fish for carbon?"

I put in a dendrochronological C14 correction table...

 

[Austin8]

and the VM asks, "Why would you fish for carbon?"

I put in a dendrochronological C14 correction table...

and one legs shorter than the others *sawing noise*

I put in a meat hook circa 1842...

Howdy Tio!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and one legs shorter than the others *sawing noise*

I put in a meat hook circa 1842...

Howdy Tio!

Hi Austin!

and you get a well-aged steak.

I put in a slab of maggoty meat...

 

[Handley_Page]

Hi Austin!

and you get a well-aged steak.

I put in a slab of maggoty meat...

and a flock of birds appears, to come and eat the maggots.


I put in an Ice Cream cone

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and a flock of birds appears, to come and eat the maggots.


I put in an Ice Cream cone

and, my tongue circles the outside, then eats it from the top down, stopping to lick up the drips every once in a while.

I put in a green park bench.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, my tongue circles the outside, then eats it from the top down, stopping to lick up the drips every once in a while.

I put in a green park bench.

and we sit and discuss matters of the day.

I put in a thunderstorm